Waves waved lazily against the lonesome island complete with a tall rock and a dead tree as birds cried their songs as the afternoon set in. The sky was blue and clouds were in rare sight as Kakashi hummed the theme song to Sailor Mew Mew. "Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by day-light, never running from a real fight! She's a Tokyo, Sailor Mew Mew..." Kakashi was of the stranger types of avian, for you see, the feathers on his head were swept oddly to his left and he wore a dark blue band covering his left eye like an eye-patch. He was also one of the few, if not the only, birds that were attracted to non-birds.
"Bakka—kah cauh-cough!" a bird cried as it flew over him. He was a tan-feathered bird with the lungs of smoker.
"Stop fantasizing about cat-girls! They don't exist!" another teased. She had creepy, blood-red eyes, a black head, and a white body with red feet.
"Aw, shut up you mangy love-birds. Go eat some dumplings—WHOA! Oi! Mermaid and co.! On the port bow!" He removed his eyes from the upside-down adult book to see Sakura and Konohamaru before him. "Sakura! How're you doing my sweet blossom?" he asked. He set the book down by his feet. Ariel opened her mouth, about to say something but her eyes widened in remembering something. She pulled her water-heavy bag out of the water and plopped it in the sand for him.
"Kakashi, look what we found!" she told him. Konohamaru finally found the courage to speak,
"Yeah! We were in this sunken ship, a-and it was really creepy..." The seagull walked forward from his rocky perch and down to Sakura and the fish. "Yeah, whate—VER! Whoa!" He fell forward and dangled from the ledge by a taut rope tangled around his left foot. "What is this?!" he wondered very aloud. He craned up his neck and took the rope in his feathered hands and tugged hard on it. The mermaid and fish looked at each other and shrugged. With another tug, the rope suddenly felt very light. Kakashi stayed aloft in the air until a great shadow loomed over him: an anchor came sliding over the rock edge and straight for him! The bird squawked and was struck by the object.
Da-thunk the noise made as he hit the ground followed by the rusting anchor with an even lower and louder noise. Sakura put her left hand over Konohamaru's eyes and they both winced at the sound. "Are you okay...Kakashi?" she asked him. He wriggled out from beneath the heavy thing with a cartoony pop and nodded vigorously.
"Yeah, yeah! Fine, fine! So what do we have here?" he exclaimed as if being crushed by an anchor was a daily part of his life. With that said he stuck his beaked head inside her pink-cloth bag. Some clinking noises were made as he shuffled around through the shells until he found it. "Whoa-ho-HO! you have hit the mother-load, Sakura my little pupil. You may call me Kakashi-sensei from here on out in fact!" he boasted to her. he had brought his head out from within the bag: the treasured object was in his hands behind his back.
"What? What is it?!" she gasped. She clapped her hands together in anticipation.
"This..." he stated in a tone of suspense, from a camera-point-of-view it circled around him, faster and faster as his spotlight grew brighter and brighter."Is a KUNAI!" he cried. He quickly withdrew the fork held it in his right wing as the spotlight cast sparkles reflecting everywhere off the magnificent fork.
Sakura and Konohamaru inhaled deeply, they're eyes bright in awe, the kunai reflected in their eyes. They excitedly asked, "What does it do? What does it do?!"
"Eh?..." he said, leaning forward and raising a feathered eyebrow.
"Kakashi-sensei!" they pleaded. Their bodies went chibi as they kow-towed before him, Konohamaru made it out in an awkward flop. Kakashi smirked.
"Humans use these toys...to straighten their hair out! See—," he twirled the...er, kunai through his silver crest of feathers then slid it out, "just a little twirl here and a yank there and—sugoi! You've got an aesthetically pleasing configuration of hair that humans will absolutely, positively go nuts over! Heck, even the humans in my beuk right here use 'em!"
Sakura chuckled, proud of herself to have found such a wonderful item. "A kunai." she said, confirming the word to memory. Konohamaru pointed his right fin at the item spilt out of the bag.
"And what about that one...Kakashi-sensei?" The bird threw the fork back into the bag and then picked up the pipe.
"Ahh...now this I haven't seen in years. This is wonderful! A banded, bulbous...hana."
Sakura and Konohamaru awed an, "Oohhhh."
"Now," Kakashi continued, "the hana dates back to the feudal eras, when humans used to sit around and stare at each other all day. Got very boring really. So, they invented the hana to make fine music. Allow me—." He took the pipe and put it between his beaks and blew hard. A gurgly whistle issued and seaweed popped out at its end. The mermaid's eyes were wide in shock.
"Music? Oh, the concert! Oh, god, my father's going to kill me!" she said, her hands went to her cheeks.
"The concert was today?" her fishy friend asked, he put his fin to his chin and thought it over. Kakashi was still contemplating over the pipe.
"Maybe you could make a little planter out of it or something..." he muttered, paying no attention to the worried bunch before him. She felt bad for having to ditch her teacher but it was necessary before her readied punishment was made any worse. She clenched her fist to her chest and looked away from Kakashi and fidgeted.
"Well, erm, I'm sorry, but I've got to go. Thank you Kakashi-sensei! See you!" she said to him. She and Konohamaru ducked under the water and swam away.
"Yep, anytime dear, anytime..." he said as he waved good bye. With the pipe—erm, hana still whistling in his mouth he flew back up to his perch, only to be dragged swiftly back to the ground by the anchor still connected to his foot. "Owww."
Deep beneath the sea, unbeknownst to the little mermaid and her friends, dwelled an evil force that would soon turn their fairly-content world up. side. down. The waters were near black in the depths where this terrible being thrived, sunken ships made abundant, and sickening odors fumed in bubbles from the under-sea geysers. Yamanaka Ino sat cozily in her little cave under the water, watching the glowing bubble set floating over the hollow of a large, dead sea-urchin. Her slimy minions, Chouji and Shikamaru watched the little mermaid and Konohamaru swim away through the depths of their territory and towards the city of Atlantica.
"Yees, hurry home princess. We wouldn't want to miss old daddy's celebration, now would we? Ha! Celebration my ass. Hrmph! In my day we had stupendous parties when I lived in the palace!" she cackled to herself. The shadow of the cave cast her purple skinny body to be almost as dark as the cave itself. She reached out her delicate left hand and plucked out a squirming pink shrimp seeming starved for days. Ino brought her hand back into the darkness and popped the shrimp into her mouth and chewed on it like gum.
"And now, look at me...wasted away to practically nothing." she groaned. Ino flipped her purple self over her hollow's edge bent over it like a dirty rag just waiting to be thrown out. Yamanaka then turned over to her belly and held out her soft hands before her: strained in the imagination of crushing someone to death. "Banished and exiled and practically starving while he and his flimsy fish folk celebrate."
She moved her hands to her non-existent stomach and poked her non-existent fat in disgust. Ino flipped her legs over her head and ascended to the sandy floor. Her eight legs carried her towards a wall, preparing to pace. "Well, I'll sure give 'em something to celebrate soon enough!" she muttered. "Shikamaru! Chouji!" Ino screamed at her minions. Chouji the puffer-fish and Shikamaru the giant seahorse awoke from their naps born of boredom in great surprise and knocked each other in the head; Chouji puffed. "I want you to keep an extra close watch on this pretty daughter of his. She may just be the key to Jiraiya's undoing...mwahahahahahaa...!" They all smirked and cackled into the distance.
Well, duh. If Sakura is going to try to win Sasuke's heart wouldn't it only make sense to make Ino her nemesis? And by giant seahorse, Shikamaru is only the size of a half-grown kitty since normal seahorses are kind of puny. A tiny seahorse wouldn't make for a very intimidating person...