Regina found herself sitting in the garden, surrounded by unusually frigid air and flowers. She looked so unlike the Madame Mayor in her checkered flannel pajama bottoms and her plain black sweatshirt. She couldn't care less though. She felt comfortable, which was something she wasn't used to. In the Enchanted Forest, women were expected to wear tight corsets and leathers. They were completely impractical but women were to be seen and used. Women were playthings, not serious leaders. It was a lesson Cora instilled from young.
"Tighten that corset! Sit up straight! Dresses are for royals, pants are for peasants!"
She could remember her mother's tones and inflections as if Cora wasn't six feet under, as if she was standing in the garden. If the strict sorceress could see her daughters now, she would have a coronary. Zelena was trapped in an asylum, expecting the child of a thief. Regina was wearing flannel and cotton with no makeup, sitting on the ground slouched, and waiting for the Savior eagerly. Cora would have a conniption.
Anyway, when she arrived in Storybrooke, she rummaged through her closet and found pantsuits and dresses and heels. At first, she felt free. The clothing was so much less restrictive. As the years when on, she saw how the men dressed, so casual and comfortable, and she felt resentment fill her chest. It seems patriarchy dominated every realm. So when she would get home from Town Hall everyday, she would change into mismatched socks, oversized sweats, and wipe off every drop of makeup. Henry had been the only one to see her in such a manner because she may have hated the conflicting standards but they controlled her. It was all she knew.
"Don't let people see your weaknesses! Fix your face! Show no fear!"
But she loved feeling like she was giving society a giant middle finger when she plopped down on the grass, completely undone, and just took in nature. She still had tall fences installed so that the snoopy residents stayed out of her business. Because being seen as human, it was her weakness. She couldn't let people in. She had to push away. It was easier that way, made for less disappointment.
"Who cares what the peasants think! You are a royal Regina! You are not like them!"
But she was like them, whether Cora understood or not. All Regina wanted was to fit in, to be a part of a community. She wanted people to say hello as she walked down the street, smile her way when they crossed paths, and ask her about her day whenever they were in close proximity. She didn't want power, jewels, or a lavish life. She would sell the Mercedes, the mansion, and quit her job if it meant that there was someone in the world who lived and breathed for her, who loved her. Before she got Henry, she thought about taking her own life so that she could see Daniel again. He was the only one to love her unconditionally. Until Emma. Emma cared, whether she had wanted to or not. And now, Emma loved her and wanted her to be happy, even if that meant being with Robin Hood, which it most certainly didn't. But the thought that Emma would allow her to choose her own path was what Regina had been looking for since… Daniel.
"The stable boy? You have feelings for the help! Why must you be such a disappointment daughter?"
She believed her mother for most of her life. She had believed that love was weakness. But Emma changed that. Emma saved her because of love and Emma was able to fight the darkness for love. True Love is the most powerful magic of all and Cora was the antithesis. Cora was weak.
"How dare you! I know best Regina—"
"Oh, shut the hell up mother," The brunette whispered to herself, rubbing her temple in an attempt to remove the thoughts running rampant, before chuckling, "Now I'm yelling at my dead mother. I've officially lost it."
She heard a familiar chuckle and smiled instantly, "Glad you've finally made it official."
Emma strolled out from behind Regina's apple tree causing the brunette to let out a gasp before jumping up from her spot on the lush grass. She sprinted, as if she wasn't about sixty years old, towards the blonde, who prepared herself by bending her knees and spreading her arms. Regina jumped into Emma's arms, wrapping her legs around the blonde's midsection and her arms around her neck. The two let out a merry laugh as Emma strategically placed her hands on Regina's full backside.
"Emma," She whispered happily before kissing her sweetly, "What're you doing here? It's the middle of the day."
Emma slowly sank to the cut grass and sat down lightly, Regina's legs remaining around her stomach. Emma bent her knees so that the brunette could lean back against her thighs, using them as a backrest while Emma used the tree trunk, "I'm not a vampire, you know? I can come whenever. It's just its easier to control the darkness at night. I only have a few minutes."
"So what prompted this visit?" Regina smiled, not caring that Emma had to leave soon because any glimpse of her made life worthwhile and she knew that she would see her again. Emma would come back.
"I remembered you said that Henry was coming today and I just knew you be ridiculously nervous and I wanted to let you know that you're not alone. Don't get overwhelmed and don't try to deal with any negative shit alone. Wait for me and we'll talk everything over later." Emma tucked a brunette rogue hair behind a small ear and smiled as she examined her love, "I like this look. Very hobo chic."
Regina unclasped her legs and let her feet rest against the grass, her knees becoming armrests for the blonde, "Yes, well, I just rolled out of bed. What's your excuse?"
"Oh!" Emma pretended to be wounded, "Straight through the heart."
Regina smiled, letting out a relaxed puff of air that caressed Emma's lips. They just sat there, staring at one another and enjoying the few minutes they had together when suddenly a loud beep startled them.
"You are a disgrace, your majesty!" Emma glared towards the distorted male voice emanating from Mifflin Street before looking back at Regina softly, questioning her silently. Before the brunette could answer, the man continued, "You should be ashamed! You took my happy ending away!"
"Hook," Regina responded, her eyes rolling automatically, "He's been coming everyday to scold me for ruining his happy ending."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Emma growled. The blonde's voice and eyes were hard but her hands were sweetly caressing Regina's collarbone.
"It's not a big deal. He's… Hook. I can deal with a rum-soaked wannabe villain." Regina teased, trying to calm the other woman down. It didn't. Emma felt the anger towards the pirate and that emotion kept bubbling and simmering and building. Regina watched Emma's eyes darken, turning practically black. Her posture straightened and her beautiful face scrunch up.
"I have to go. I have to or I'll hurt him," Regina stood shakily, extending a hand towards the blonde. Emma accepted the gesture and, once standing, wrapped her strong arms around Regina before whispering in her ear jerkily, "I love you so much."
"I love you too Emma." Regina replied as the dreaded dark cloud swept up from Emma's feet to slowly encircle the blonde. Regina mused that her love didn't want to go. Emma looked angry but the brunette could see the sadness hidden underneath.
"I'll see you later baby." Emma whispered.
"Don't call me that." And as the dark cloud blinded the brunette as it swallowed the other woman, all she could hear was Emma's melodic laugh. Once the plume dissipated, Regina was alone once again but only for a little while. Emma would be back. She wasn't alone anymore.
"This is your fault! You did this to all of us!" Killian bellowed in his distorted voice and Regina frowned, feeling resentment flow up from her gut. This man cut their time short. If Emma hadn't been angry, she could have stayed the extra few minutes. Regina paused, breathing in and out steadily in an attempt to block out the man's selfish protests. She had no idea what Emma saw in him. He was a low-down, dirty, conniving, villain that pretended to be reformed when all he wanted was to get in Emma's pants. Regina truly believed that when Emma left him he would revert to his old ways.
If Emma left him. Regina knew that Emma loved her but her insecurities made her wonder about the blonde's relationship with the pirate. Would Emma leave him? Was this a side effect of the darkness? Was Emma using her? Yes. No. No.
She had to believe that. At least until she could talk to Emma about it. She wasn't going to let her negative thought process ruin a potential happy ending for both of them. Emma deserved t be happy and Regina was ready to be that for her, be her soul mate and lifelong love. She was ready to deal with the darkness by helping her temper it, fight it. She was ready to be what Emma Swan needed. So she walked inside, putting a silence spell around her home to block the pirate's words out.
She checked the clock and noticed that Henry was due home at any moment. There was no way in hell she was allowing Henry to hear the pirate's ignorant words. Regina made her way outside and stalked towards the man, who backed away like a scared puppy. The former queen pointed at the man and glared.
"You need to go. My son is on his way and I need you to go. You can come back tomorrow and harass me for some extra time if you'd like but Henry will not hear your ignorance. You understand?" Her voice left no room for argument but the pirate wasn't known for his intelligence.
"Ah, your majesty, afraid of your boy hearing the truth?" Regina scoffed.
"Killian, I'm asking you nicely to leave Mifflin." Regina noticed Henry appear behind the pirate and startled. She certainly didn't expect to hear her son speak up.
"Hey! Leave my mom alone, both of them!" Henry bellowed as he shoved past the man and grabbed his mother's arm gently. Henry led her into the mansion, shutting the door violently. He turned to face his mother incredulously, "Why did you let him talk to you like that?"
"Henry, I'm not going to fight the alcoholic imbecile," Regina chuckled at her son's expression, "Plus, we have much more important things to talk about. Come."
She wrapped an arm around his shoulder and led him to the study. He threw his backpack onto the couch next to him and watched as his brunette mother sat on the coffee table in front of him. Henry frowned with concern.
"Henry, I need to tell you something but you can not repeat it to anyone, understand?" Regina stared at him until he sighed and nodded, "Okay. Emma appeared to me two days ago."
"What?" He smiled. She could already feel his hopes rising and she cleared her throat. Henry had endured so much disappointment over his lifetime, mostly because of her. She could have been a better mother, a better person. She was doing her best now but that didn't assuage her guilt. She should have loved Henry the way that she had wanted to be loved by Cora.
"She told me that she's learning to fight the darkness and can only hold it off for an hour. I don't know where she goes when she's not here but she's been visiting me. She wants to see you but she would like you to wait a week because she doesn't have much control right now."
"Is she okay?" His smile diminished, worry overtaking his body language, and Regina felt her heart deflate.
"She's… getting better. It's hard for her." Regina tilted her head, closing her eyes to avoid seeing his eyes and the possible negative reaction. She wouldn't blame him if he hated her. She took away his Ma.
"It's not your fault. She made the decision. She wanted to save you." Regina felt emotion crawl up her throat and tears gather in her eyes. She knew he was right but Regina was used to taking the fall, taking the blame. It was a pattern. She was trying to break free.
So, when Henry left after five minutes of silence, Regina moved to her room. She sat on the mattress, her back against the headboard. She couldn't help but wonder what life would have been like if they had realized their feelings sooner. They could have been living in the mansion together, sharing meals and stories, watching movies, and being a family. They could have been married and they could have had another baby. They could've, they could've, they could've.
And the what if's and insecurities intensified when Emma never showed that night. She was alone.
A/N: Thank you to everyone following this story!