Jacob ran home faster then he had before. He held back tears that incessantly ran down his face. His stomach was churning and it felt like he was going to throw up.

He did what he had to do. But if this was the right thing why did it hurt so much?

Jacob felt himself yearning for the vampires cold touch on his burning skin again. To feel his lips pressed against his. To hear him speaking soothingly to him. He shook his head.

He couldn't have that anymore..never again. When Jacob had made it home, it was still late. He shut his door and laid on his bed. He sobbed painfully holding his stomach. The pain tearing through him for what he had just done.

He felt so damn helpless...so ashamed of himself. Had he grown to need Edward this much.

/How could I go so low..Have I really gotten so weak? Have a really grown to l-l..l-lov-l-love him so much that being separated from him hurts me this much?/

Jacob felt worse then he had when the night had began.

...

Jacob opened his eyes seeing light shedding into his room. He felt so..awful. He had just cried himself to sleep.

It was so strange..normally when he saw Edward he woke up feeling great. But not today.

Jacob sat up looking at his bed. "It's suppose to be this way." Jacob told himself. "I bet Edward won't even care when I see him."

Jacob closed his eyes groaning and falling back onto his bed. He opened his eyes again.

"No..I can't keep thinking about him. I can't keep thinking about what we had." he whispered. "No..we didn't have anything, he's Bella's boyfriend."

The more he tried to tell himself that it just made it hurt more. Jacob felt his stomach twist again he moaned rolling his head to the side.

He heard the creaking of his door and the sound of his father wheeling into his room.

"Jake get up you'll be late," he said. Jacob didn't look at his father though, he kept his eyes glued to the wall in front of him. Billy raised a brow noticing Jacob's lack of response.

"Jake?" he asked. Jacob rolled onto his side hoping for his stomach to calm down. He just felt too heavy to get up. He felt sick..he just didn't have the energy to move. Let alone go to school with all of this.

Or perhaps it was because he knew Edward would be there. He closed his eyes upon the name. His stomach twisted again.

"I feel sick," he said his voice was downtrodden and slightly groggy. He sounded ill. He sounded distressed and thats because he was. He wrapped his arm around his stomach keeping his eyes closed and closing them a little tighter, as his stomach twisted.

Billy looked in concern at his son. He put his hand on the boys shoulder.

"Are you alright Jake?" he questioned. Wondering why Jacob sounded so sick and upset.

"I just feel sick dad," he said. Billy sighed patting the boys shoulder.

"Alright..I'll call your school." he said before leaving the room. Jacob felt his body shudder slightly he felt like he might throw up.

"God..what are you doing to me?"

...

Meanwhile at the Cullen's home.

Edward was laying on the couch looking at the ground with little emotions. With one elbow propped up his fingers rubbing his temple.

Emmett walked down the stairs looking over at his younger brother. He walked to the couch looking down at him.

"Hey Edward get up you have school," he said. Edward glanced over at him before looking back down.

"I'm not going to school." he stated.

"Why not?" Emmett asked.

Edward closed his eyes, "I've got a migraine," he said opening his eyes again. Emmett looked questioningly at him before shrugging.

"Okay." he said walking out of house. Edward sighed.

He hadn't been feeling right since last night. He half lied about the migraine. He said that mainly because he didn't want to go to school. But there was an aching in his head, it was from all the havoc going on in his mind though.

Jasper meanwhile walked over looking down at Edward.

"What's the real reason your not going?" he asked looking at him. Jasper couldn't be fooled so easily after all. Ever since Edward had gotten home, he could feel the pain guilt confusion and sadness plaguing him.

And there was no way that was all because of a stupid headache.

"I told you I have a migraine."

"I'm not an idiot Edward," Jasper stated. Because if Edward thought he could fool him with that act, Edward was obviously a moron. "I know there's something bothering you."

"I don't know what your talking about," Edward replied closing his eyes. So what if Jasper knew he was lying..that still didn't mean he had to tell him. Edward was suddenly very glad that he was the only one who could read minds.

"Lie all you want but eventually the others will put two and two together, so I suggest you get ready to tell them or come up with a pretty damn good excuse." Jasper said crossing his arms. "Because once they do realize somethings going on they won't drop it like I did so easily."

...

The bell rang loudly and the students hurriedly got inside of the building.

Bella looked around and sighed. Jessica ran up to her.

"Bella what are you waiting for?" she asked. Bella let out another sigh looking over the parking lot.

"I haven't seen Edward or Jacob this morning at all."

"Maybe they're running late," she suggested.

"..Maybe..It's not like them though."

"We can talk about this later Bell's I don't want to get a detention for being late."

...

Jacob coughed gagging yet again emptying the contents of his stomach...or lack there of. Jacob panted kneeling over the toilet.

He had thrown up at least twice today. He figured he was making himself sick. He just felt so awful and it all was happening because of this so called 'good' decision he made.

Jacob coughed again, some good decision.

Whatever it was it sure as hell wasn't doing him any good. Jacob reached up flushing the contents and stood up. Grabbing a paper towel and wiping his mouth.

Jacob had tried every time Edward would creep into his thoughts to push him away. Trying to conjure up feelings of hatred for him, but every time it did little to help. Because every time he would say he hated him those images, those words would creep back into his head.

The cool touch of his hand against his face. His lips hovering centimeters from his own. His icy breath brushing over his burning skin. "I don't want to hurt you anymore."

Jacob opened his eyes as he laid on his bed. He found that he did that a lot. Every time those came to his mind he would get lost in them.

Remembering his touch and his cold. So in tune with it it was like he could almost feel his hand caressing his face...feel his lips pressing against his.

Jacob opened his eyes again shaking his head slightly. He just found himself doing that every time he thought of those times.

It was at those times when he could feel his pain dissipating. As if it was like Edward was with him again. When he lost himself in the memories of his touch. He felt at peace.

But then he would open his eyes...feelings of pain and sorrow washing over him, to realize that the memory had been just that.

A memory.

It wasn't real...not anymore. It was like the feeling of imagining yourself in a warm sunny place. And opening your eyes to find yourself in a cold blizzard.

It was like someone was trying to torture Jacob. Jacob couldn't stand having dreams about Edward and how they had been. And then waking up to find Edward gone. And to find it was all a dream.

Jacob looked up at the ceiling. Was this really how it was suppose to be?

Was he just suppose to be tormented like this forever. Forced to harbor this agony and watch from afar as Edward and Bella lived happily ever after.

Jacob shut his eyes biting hard on his lip. That was the thought that would make him crack every time. Imagining that was to painful to bear.

What was worse was he knew that that's probably what would happen. Edward would forget completely about Jacob and go back to Bella. And they would live their lives together leaving Jacob behind forgotten.

Jacob cringed to feel his eyes stinging. He bit down harder on his lip until he could feel blood trailing down his chin.

He finally let go of his abused lip. Not even bothering to wipe off the blood. All he knew was the smell was enough to remind him of Edward.

He closed his eyes in hopes that that would be enough to put him to sleep.

TBC

Okay finally finished up this chapter so tell me what you think this took me a bit to figure out how i was going to put this all up. okay and by the way jacob didn't imprint on edward..at least that what im sure of for now i know some of what jacob is feeling may make you think that but he hasn't. okay please review!