Sociopaths Can't Love You 2
Hospital
Alex
I felt my eyes begin to open
Darkness parted like a sea
'No' I thought though
The world was weary
I wished not to wake
To much effort living takes
The darkness so much easier
No effort to seem normal
No need to pretend
To push a smile to 'care'
Never was pleasant
To walk the world as me
Finally my eyes did open
It was a hospital I did see
So I had been hit hard
By the bus it's true
I felt little from the crash
My body told me naught
What injuries I'd sustained
"How do you feel?"
I heard Collette
I turned to her, greatly confused
Her face a mask of worry
Why? Neither of us cared
What happened good or bad
"Thou ask how doth I fare?
Why ask when thou doth not care?"
"It's for our guests I say,"
The mask of worry faded away
"They know not what we are,
In truth they took the crash very hard."
"Well I care not what humans think,
They matter naught to me,
To tired am I,
To pretend for a stranger,"
Collette nodded.
"They were worried,
They believed me not,
When I said you did not care,
About a bus hitting your human skin,"
"Fear not," I said turning toward my 'guests'
Though perhaps that is an awkward term
While I am stuck abed
"I shall not press against thee,
Any claim of the law,
Nor press for certain favors,
I am not that way,
The fault is mine,
So depart and do not tarry,
People of your standing,
Should not laze about,
Where you are not needed,"
It felt strange to speak so cool
To one who held me under his rule
To speak this way to the man I had loved
To remain without emotion
While looking at my dream
It was however okay
For 'twas all my choice
To fore go the world
To lose love in beauty
To escape my pain
It was hard at first
To force it away
Against human nature
To let loose not to cling
Then one day my fight was won
No pain, no pleasure,
No feelings, no sorrow
My emotions the same as tomorrows
I did not miss those flighty things
Humans dubbed emotions
They tare you and they break you
Even pleasure twists black
Nothing happy lasts
Just give it all away
Even if I'll never forget the pain
I can't hold it anymore
"Is it wrong to apologize?"
Asked Bill curiosity in his eyes
"No simply not necessity,"
I almost rolled my eyes
"How can you not care?"
Tom asked
"You were hit by a bus?"
"We care about nothing"
Collette spoke with me in unison
"Nothing matters"
"Are you twins?"
Wondered Bill
"No just friends,"
Said I, Collette nodded
"If you deem to call us so"
"Though" I mused,
"'friends' involves attachment"
"Attachments such a horrid word,"
Collette spoke alternating with me
"Brings weakness to a person,"
"Do you have a heart?"
Tom wondered slightly aghast
"My pulse says yes,"
"Her soul says no,"
Alternating again
"Does that bother you?"
I asked because it's true
Collette and I scared most people
"No, I mean it seems you wouldn't need to be coddled,
No girlish emotions
Interrupting my TV time
Sounds perfect to me,"
Tom grinned at Collette and me
Mostly at her and her silent empty eyes
Bill stood silent as his brother talked
Watching me with scrutiny
Did I confuse him?
Did he find me creepy?
Did I care?
He wouldn't be the first
To leave afraid of my truth
With out any seeming's
Everyone turns away
When they see
there's no laughter
No smiles
No longer any sadness
Collette
Opened did Alex's eyes some after time the accident had taken place. Sat we six in a hospital: the members band, names whose I learned had during wait ours in hospital—Bill, Tom, Georg, and Gustav they were—and Alex and I. Not used to plastering face on of worry or concern was I, for spent was most of my time Alex with, and she cared not that I felt emotions did not. Alex sluggishly had to pull herself oblivion out of, for "liked" it she did there (there was there no need to pretend as I was now). Looks around does she and observes my expression concerned. Questions does she about my worry; I to the band gesture.
Internally, I conflict. This Tom here, in the past used I to love him a passion with. Still rather cute is he, for judgments of the sort I still can make, but there is room for love not in a sociopath. No want, no need, no urges. Would him being with happy me make? Still not sure was I. Wondering I was about Alex and whether or not she conflicted was in way the same, but her for in question the person would be not Tom, but Bill rather. We obviously feel not the same way that did we when younger we were, but it was a question still. Could we, would we?
Maybe. For now, ponder would I…but chance again I would ever have? I knew not. Perhaps. Probably not. These were people famous, and meeting again them the chance was very slim. They might us remember for a while short, but we people were too, just fans another two, and forget us shortly they would, just everyone else as had.
Beeping was Alex's monitor that her vital signs told us and ascertained at points some that was still alive she. Sat back did I and listened, remembering how fragile are humans. Any moment at, those lines flat could turn, but kept steady and pulsating did they. Odd, thought I, how fate was, how any moment at any of one of us swept away could be as a gust sudden of air away sweeps dry leaves, the same very leaves that little or nothing mean to us, just as we mean nothing or little other humans to. These humans, example for, mean nothing would to us were they not famous, but because are they, meant did they something to us at some point in time, but still we meant nothing to them until hit Alex they did a bus with.
Now that to something we meant to them, wanted did we for them to something mean again to us? Was possible even that? Questions flooded did my brain, swirling. Stared did the one that I knew to be Bill at Alex, and Georg and Gustav as well, understandably. Would not who be concerned if a girl they had just run over? But felt did I a different eyes pair on me… those of Tom. How strange, I wondered in amazement.
(A few miles away)(BTW this is first person ASHA just calls herself Asha because there's to many I's in her head)
We are different people. I am Asha they are Ashley and Tony. They have voices. They all live in our head. Ashley and Tony fight a lot. Ashley is a guy, he is evil with good voices, and Tony is his twin she is good but her voices aren't. We all like boys. I DO NOT LIKE BOYS! (Ashley is bold, Tony is italics) okay I'm sorry. So on this day in question we are walking down the street. See the tree walk at it! Ohh I like this idea, keep walking Asha. Asha don't want to, Tony what is it what happened why are you being mean? The voices want you to walk Asha. Yea walk Asha. ASHA WON'T!
Forcefully Asha turned herself away, the voices fought with her.
Now Asha that's not nice. Ashley slapped Asha. MOTHER FUCKER, I hate you, you know that? Come on Asha you don't hate Ashley he's just difficult sometimes! Sometimes? More like always. Oh shut you baby, why don't you chase that car? What car? I want to chase it, Asha run! Oh fine!
Asha ran down the street after the car. Several people stared we all ignored them. Suddenly or not so suddenly there was stop sign there the car stopped. Asha who was still running slammed into it. Asha flew up onto the trunk smashing through the rear window. Asha moaned.
Good going you broke a window. Well Ashley, it was your idea. No Tony it was yours!
"O my gosh! Are you okay?" the cars driver was freaking out, understandably.
"Are you calling me fat?" Asha yelled at Ashley.
"No, Mam I think you hit your head!" Tell him no and say you must have miss heard him. Why? Remember if they know about us they will think we're crazy!
"I'm sorry sir I must have misheard you I'm fine!" Asha tried to stand but pain shot through her.
"Please sit still I have to call the paramedics!"
They are going to get us! Asha stared Ashley who was agitated enough to appear in real life, he was tall with red hair and freckles. No they won't but my body needs to be repaired or none of us will make it! Asha is right just listen to her Ashley as long as she is quiet no one will know. TONY they will get us, they will put us on meds, and we will die… Tony appeared beside Ashley, her hair was darker than her brothers she had very few freckles and bright green eyes she was beautiful, her brother was not. She wrapped her arms around Ashley. You guys we're going I am not doing so well here. If we get caught I am killing you! I don't want to die… none of us do…
Bill
I listened as Alex talked she spoke strangely it was more than just the fact that her voice held no emotion at all it was the way she spoke. It sounded like she should be in a different era. I watched her the nurses had cleaned her up and as I had noticed earlier she was beautiful and now it was more pronounced because the blood was all cleared away. Her eyes were green and her lashes long and dark against the pure whiteness of her skin. Her hair was in a ponytail now but it was brunette and curly, insanely so. Something about her made me want to be near her, it was like a magnet in my chest, a dangerous one. I let Tom talk, unsure as to what to say, I just stood there watching. Suddenly there was a loud commotion and another bed was rolled in. Alex looked around. A girl was sitting on the bed. She was covered in bandages but looked alert. She was obviously of mixed heritage, brown skin, hazel eyes, and dark brown hair that looked as if it had been dyed dark red recently.
"Asha!" Collette said sounding surprised. "What happened?"
"We ran over a car!" the girl, Asha, said as soon as the doctors were gone. What did she mean by 'we'?
"Don't you mean got ran over by a car?" Tom asked.
"No we ran the car over not the other way around!"
"What do you mean by 'we'?"
"Asha is a schizophrenic she means 'we' by her and the people in her head," Alex said still looking as if all of this was perfectly normal, maybe it was for her.
"It was all Ashley!" Asha protested, "Tony tried to make Asha run into a tree but Asha wouldn't so Ashley told us to run after the car and the car stopped!"
"Well that sucks, I got ran over by a bus!" Alex said.
"Tokio Hotel bus, we always said it would be you… No Ashley I don't care majority rules… SHUT UP ASHA IS TALKING… Tony tell him to be quiet!" Tom opened his mouth to say something but Collette waved a hand at him and he was quiet. After a few moments Asha got the voices to behave and turned back to the conversation at hand. I just shook my head what had Tom gotten us into?
A.N. I am soooo sorry it took so long but someone *cough* Collette *Cough* wouldn't type!
I hope the length made up for some of it.. this chap was really hard to write plz review.