I dont own twilight S/M does. Please read and review.
Chapter 3
BPV.
Pulling into the parking lot I saw a familiar silver Volvo sitting right in front of the entrance doors. No…no…it couldn't be…could it? I could see Alice's eyes staring at the license plate in shock and in horror.
"What are they doing here…are they stalking us?" Alice asked horrified.
"I have no clue…lets find out!" I said pulling up next to the Volvo. It was empty. I looked at Alice and we headed in side. Let them stalk us…we'll give them something to watch! As we walked in there was a big banner reading " WELCOME NEW EMPLOYEES!" under which Edward and Emmett were shaking people's hands. No…no way.
"Oh hey guys…this is Emmett Cullen…our new model!" Uncle Andy was saying to people as Emmett shook their hands.
"Please tell me he just said " this is Edward Cullen" I mean Edward's built!" Alice said mortified.
"Nope…he definitely said Emmett." I said. Alice moaned.
"YOU COME HERE…I NEED MEASUREMENTS!" Alice said running over to Emmett and dragging him to another room. Only Alice would complain about a model in front of said model with out knowing it. That meant…crap…that meant I was going to be working with Edward. Wait a minute that meant I was going to be working for Edward. I hoped that he wasn't one of those closet psycho bosses that is nice to his friends but mean to his employees. I was so used to be working as my own boss ( everyone in our department worked independently till now…the higher ups felt that a little more structure was needed and that's why the new positions were created.) that I didn't know if I could handle working under someone else…never mind someone else that I lived with …then again I lived with Alice just fine and she was breathing down my neck every chance she could here. I took Edward to his desk and showed him the ropes…I was showing my boss the ropes…how ironic. He seemed to catch on quickly though…and even better he agreed with my set up of the magazine and not tried to change it unlike a little pixie I knew. My aunt came in to check up on us and passed some information on to him…the only thing I forgot to cover.
"Be on the look out for Alice…she's banned from stepping foot in this room…she likes to come in from time to time and bug my niece over there!" she said rubbing my head in a Charlie ( my father) like manner.
"Your related to the founders of the company?" Edward asked a little amused.
"yeah…it gets worse…Alice…my cousin." I said winking.
"Your telling me that spawned that…obviously Alice looks like her father's side." Edward said. As I said I was a clone of my aunt. We could see Auntie Charlie pushing Alice away from the door. Alice obviously didn't see her mother and tried to get in here.
"But I just want to see how Bella's doing with her new boss…cant I just visit for a second!" we could hear Alice whining.
"NO! Alice your job is on the other side of the building…NOW GO THERE!" Aunt Charlie commanded.
"Wow I cant believe that you two are even related…you seem so…" Edward started up but I cut him off.
"Not Alice." I said.
"Well yeah…and you don't look anything alike." Edward said
"I know I get that a lot." I said. Alice was pixie like and beautiful…I was average and I knew it. Edward and I then went back to work. Edward seemed like a good enough boss but this was his first day…I'd have to take it day by day. He pointed out some mistakes in a very kind way…so unlike Alice who would stand over my shoulder nagging until I changed it to the way she liked it…if she didn't do it herself. I actually found peace for an extended period of time. Alice's parents actually put security guards on the look out for her for the day and we'd periodically see them "escorting " her back to her part of the building.
" I'm totally going to have to change your uniform…that is so last decade!" Alice exclaimed as one of the officers was bringing her back.
" Ugh and don't get me started on you!" we could hear her carrying on.
"Your cousin is…" Edward started up.
"insane…you haven't even seen the bulk of it…give her a few weeks." I said laughing.
"Oh wait she'll get in here one time." I continued. We went back to our work. I swore I saw a couple of people swoon at the sight of Edward and shoot jealous eyes in my direction. Hey I didn't choose for this to happen! It wasn't my fault!
My words came to pass the next day. Edward and I were in the middle of editing some words that were going to be used on the cover of the magazine when the door's burst open…Alice's pixie face looking suspiciously around the room for anyone liable to kick her out. When she deemed the room clear she walked right to where Edward and I were sitting.
"EWW! YOUR PUTTING THOSE TWO OUTFITS TOGETHER…THAT WONT DO!" Alice said as she turned to the first page. She was about to rip the pictures when Edward stopped her.
"Alice don't….they look fine…your not supposed to be here anyways…YOU DON'T WORK HERE!" Edward warned.
"Oh their fine with out me for a few minutes…and oh no that wont do for the back page you should of used that on the first one!" Alice said still critiquing the magazine.
"Oh really…then please explain WHY Emmett followed you here?" Edward asked pointing behind her to a half naked Emmett.
"ALICE….ALICE…I THINK THESE PANTS ARE TOO TIGHT IN THE ASS!" Emmett whined and a couple of women's jaw dropped at the size of Emmett's abdominal muscles. I saw some of their heads actually line themselves up to his ass. Emmett turned around and there was a ripping sound. The pant line ripped right down the middle of his backside.
"OH MY GOD….I TOLD YOU TO LAY OFF THE MUSCLE MILK…THAT RIP WONT EVEN LOOK HIP!" Alice roared running to Emmett who was covering his ass up with glossy paper. I swore a woman wolf whistled and another one turned on "YMCA" . Emmett dropped the paper and started doing the "YMCA" dance. People were throwing money at him.
"RIP IT ALL OFF!" Someone yelled.
"ABSOLUTELY NOT…THOSE ARE $1,000 JEANS!" Alice roared. Emmett made to actually rip them off.
"EMMETT TOUCH THOSE JEANS AND YOU DIE!" Alice roared some more. Emmett started to sing the song.
"Y…M…CA!" Emmett sang. I swore that he was still counting the money when they left. I looked Edward who looked like he wanted to laugh.
"I can see why your Aunt and Uncle put up body guards to keep her out…can anyone be more of a distraction than her?" Edward asked. Just then Emmett belted out "Y…M…CA!"
"Oh wait…Emmett." Edward said with the utmost look of embarrassment on his face. After that the whole editing department was in disarray. Everyone was swooning and talking about how the new male model's pants ripped. This was one of the times that I felt bad that Edward was the only male in the department.
"yum yum…if his ass burst through his pants …I wonder what else could!" said Phyllis. I was grossed out and Edward looked mortified.
"PHYLLIS your like fifty years old and YOUR MARRIED…keep those thoughts to yourself!" I said. I felt Edward shutter beside me.
"Sorry their not usually like that!" I said.
"Emmett does bring out the best in people!" Edward said still grossed out
"And did you see his abs…those weren't six packs …THEY WERE TWELVE PACKS!" Doris said.
"alright everyone…like 95% of you are married…get back to work!" I ordered. Doris was on the border of 70 so that was really gross.
"Um think we should switch jobs?" Edward asked.
"Don't worry they'll get used to you….in fact I think they really like you!" I said as a group of younger girls were staring at Edward. They were probably wondering what he looked like with no shirt on.
" well at least it will be easy to gain their respect." Edward said.
"Yeah…don't worry about it." I said to Edward. Just then Emmett came charging back in.
"Y…M…CA…ump!" Emmett sang. Phyllis and Doris swooned. Alice came charging back in.
"EMMETT CULLEN…GET YOUR BRANDON CLAD ASS BACK OVER TO THE PHOTO SHOOT THIS INSTANT….BEFORE YOU RIP ANOTHER HOLE IN YOUR PANTS!" Alice roared.
" oh man Alice couldn't you just wait one more second!" Phyllis moaned.
"Damn Phyllis just damn…I don't even want to know what your thinking." Alice said.
"Maybe you guys should consider putting locks on the door?" Edward asked.
"We did…Alice broke them with her credit cards." I said.
"Then maybe consider putting a pad lock on the door." Edward said.
"Do you honestly think a little old pad lock will keep her out…especially now that she's armed with Emmett?" I asked skeptically.
"Point taken…I guess that takes security guards out of the question too…maybe dogs would be best?" Edward asked.
"Besides the fact that the Brandon's have a no pets policy…again do you honestly think the dogs could stand a chance against Emmett?" I asked.
"Your right…I've seen Emmett take on grizzly bears and win." Edward said. Some how I actually believed him.
"Pst…that's the brother…Pst!" I started to hear. Oh my god this was getting too much.
"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!…IF I HEAR ONE MORE MENTION OF EMMETT, EDWARD OR NAKED BODIES WE ARE GOING THROUGH SEXUAL HARRASSMENT TRAINING AGAIN!" I shouted. The last time we went was because a female employee in our department was being harassed by a male model. They made both departments go. Edward clapped when I sat down…I got more envious stares then ever. I swore that if Phyllis looked any more green with envy that she'd turn into a leprechaun
" I swear to you Edward they are never usually like this." I said.
"Oh its okay." Edward said.
We then went back to work. With everything that went down we probably lost a half hour of editing. When the lunch break came Alice came in with four sandwiches…Emmett followed behind. Phyllis stared wistfully at Emmett…I didn't want to know what was going on in that mind of hers or I'd probably loose my appetite.
"What's up with that lady?" Emmett asked staring at Phyllis who was ogling Emmett .
"Emmett you don't want to know what happened after you left…trust me." I said. Phyllis looked like she wanted to say something but I shot her a death glare.
"Ew…just Ew!" Alice said her eyes following mine.
"Does Phyllis want to go back to see Sebastian again." Alice gagged. Phyllis and the Sexual Harassment Trainer didn't get along well.
"Alright lets get out of here before everyone forms an angry mob in the attempt to get at the boys." I said. All of us stood up and left…a bunch of moans came from behind us.