Heartbeats
Chapter Two: Bella
Her shower doesn't help. The hot water sends memories coursing through her brain of how her skin burnt last night at the touch of his hands. The cold water just makes her miss and ache for it more. She spends as long as she can under the faucet, trying to wash away all the thoughts and feelings that are devouring her from the inside out. When her fingers are wrinkly and the water has run out she climbs out the shower stall and curls up on the cold tiles of the floor, dripping wet and still too exhausted from her thoughts to move. Her hair is knotted and almost dry by the time she has managed to get to her bedroom, lethargically she goes through the motions of drying off and getting changed before falling onto the unmade bed. She wants to call him but she refuses to be the first one to ring so soon after it all; in the back of her mind, she also knows it's very likely his girlfriend could pick up and she doesn't want to cause Jacob any more trouble. The doorbell sounds and suddenly she's alert, excited at the idea that maybe he's felt the same way and he's come back, that he's a few steps away on the other side of her door. Running her hands through her hair and straightening her shirt, she skips down the stairs and pauses in front of the door. What is she supposed to say? Should she kiss him? Hug him? She steadies herself with a breath and pulls the door back.
Her heart breaks and she can feel her lungs empty.
"Oh crap," she mutters under her breath. It's Aleks, her boyfriend. He smiles at her and kisses her cheek on the way in. She can't move for a minute and stares out past the door, guilt slowly oozing into her veins as remembers her unfaithfulness.
"Place is a mess, Bella, guess that means a good party, huh?" He observes politely, helping himself to coffee and peering into the soda cups. A breeze drifts in and reawakens her. She shakes herself off and just for a minute, she feels normal again, not tired and pitiful. She clings to this feeling while she walks in and manages a response.
"Yeah, uh, Billy really enjoyed it, the surprise went well I think. There's leftover cake in the fridge if you want." When she looks around, she doesn't realize how much of a mess the place is. There are streamers half hanging from the light and chip crumbs, plastic plates, empty bowls, party popper containings strewn everywhere. On any other day she would not have been able to stand this mess and cleaned it first thing in the morning.
"No, I'm alright. So, are you ready to go soon?" He asks casually. She looks at him puzzled. "Remember we said we'd go down to the car showroom and see if there was anything there that you liked? Finally get rid of that old truck?"
"Ohh, right yeah. Uhm, actually I, er, I really need to clean up around here and uhm, we don't need to do that today anyway, my truck's fine for now." She tries to keep as close to the truth as she can.
"Alright, sure. I'll help out, keep you company." He smiles at her fondly while sipping on his mug and she does her hardest to return it even though she really, really wants to be alone. Thinking on her feet, she grabs her car keys and slips on her shoes.
"I'll just go out to get the supplies while you finish up your coffee. And help yourself to some cake too!" She turns off the street and doesn't think about how to get to the supermarket, she's well aware there are two cupboards stocked with more than enough bleach, stain removers and cloths. The main road is scarce of cars like usual but the red Volkswagen pulled over on the opposite side of the road surprises her and brings back those stirrings from earlier on in the shower. She can read from the license plate that it's Jacobs and if she squints, she can see his shoulders slumped over the steering wheel. She wants him again, to touch him and feel his burning skin when he crushes her in one of his hugs. But they promised. She pulls over and hesitates getting out, not knowing whether or not she can carry out a just friends conversation like normal. With deep breaths, she crosses the road and nervously knocks on his window, plastering on a smile which would soon be real at the sight of his face.