Okay, I'm sick. I was up all night last night with a massive headache, plus a sore throat. I'm laying in bed, with only writing as a distraction. Ugh, sometimes Jack Frost's cold days are more of a curse than blessing. Anyway, thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter of 'Is He a Heartbreak?', I got some positive feedback again! Wow, who would have thought this story would be building up well? Well enough of me talking, you're here to read a new update so here it is! We see more of Kendall in this one, and Carlos and Logan (AKA Cargan, for those who are fans!) too! Also, pure Kames for a majority of the chapter! So here we are, please enjoy! Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush! I just own the plot of this AU story, but I so wish I did own Big Time Rush! :'( Oh, italics in this chapter standing for mouthing, no sounds but forming words with your lips!
Kendall was lonely at school the next day; even though he was with his two best friends in the whole world, Carlos Garcia and Logan Mitchell, it felt wrong to be without the fourth member of their little group. Carlos and James would be doing crazy things and driving their lovers up a wall, which deep down the two didn't mind. The four rarely got to hang out together anymore.
All thanks to Griffin and his errands...
"Kendall is really down in the dumps." Carlos whispered to his boyfriend softly, as the three headed to fourth period English; Carlos and Logan were juniors like Kendall, though Carlos was one year older than Kendall and Logan was two years old than Carlos.
So the age range in the group was like so: Kendall-fifteen years old, Carlos-sixteen, Logan-eighteen like James, though the smart raven will be turning nineteen sooner than the pretty boy brunette.
Logan nodded with a frown, rubbing Carlos' knuckles gently with his thumb. "He always gets like this when James is out, and I don't blame him. Carlos sweetie, do you ever get a...I don't know, really creepy vibe from Griffin when we see him? He's been James' step-dad for years now, but we don't know much about him. And the way James acts around him, it's as if he's Satan himself." Carlos' dark caramel eyes widened at this, Kendall too stuck in his depression to notice them having a conversation behind his back.
"Y-you feel it too, Logie? I thought I was going crazy, because I swear something's shady about that dude! James is usually friendly and wild but around him, around him he's a completely different person!" He exclaimed, careful to keep his voice down.
The trio soon reached their class and took their seats, which were grouped together into four. Kendall's frown deepened at the empty seat to his right, wishing now more than ever to have his hazel-green eyed lover beside him, holding his hand.
"You think Kendall is suspicious of him, too?" Carlos mouthed behind his hand, Kendall entertaining himself across from them with his sketchbook; Logan shrugged, eyebrows tight lines over his mocha brown, sometimes black in certain lights, eyes.
"I don't know, but one thing's for sure: Griffin is a weird guy." The smart raven managed to mouth back before their teacher, Miss Wainwright, called the class to order; everyone went silent as she went on explaining their latest project: watching two different film adaptations of Romeo and Juliet and then write a three-page paper in a compare/contrast structure.
The whole class groaned but pulled out their notebooks and pencils and pens to take notes, Kendall reluctantly putting aside his latest sketch to focus; Logan and Carlos followed suit, the lights going out as she got the old DVD player running.
For the first ten minutes Kendall was scribbling notes down as if in a frenzy; he did pretty good in this class but always wanted to improve, to show that his skills in English have grown after a whole semester of rigorous reading and analyzing from Miss Wainwright's homework and classwork assignments. He knew he'd never beat Logan as top of the class, but he can at least get his B up to a low A.
All his concentration, however, shattered when he felt his phone vibrate in the front pocket of the black hoodie he was wearing, the hoodie that belonged to his fiancee and smelled so good, so much like him. Carefully and slowly so not to catch Miss Wainwright's eagle eyes, he undid the pattern lock on his phone and smiled almost instantly, raising his hand.
"Yes, what is it Mister Knight?"
"Miss Wainwright, may I go to the nurse? I'm not feeling too well."
-Page Break-
"James!" Said brunette smiled warmly as Kendall practically sprinted into his open arms, his head of dirty blonde hair snuggling into his strong chest.
James chuckled, leaning down to nip lightly at Kendall's lower lip; a bright red blush crossed the shorter boy's thin cheeks, his heart racing in joy though.
"I thought you said you had to work for your step-dad today." He pointed out, James smirked.
"I ditched." He said simply, even if inside he felt a little nervous; Griffin would no doubt chew him out when he turned in his mission report later today...
Yet he wasn't going to let the bastard keep him away from his fiancee. Plus Griffin can't do crap to him right now, he was too busy planning James' next target.
Kendall's bright green eyes widened at this, worry paling his face. "J-James, are you sure that was a good idea? Griffin can kill you for it!" James held back a violent flinch.
His boyfriend had no idea how truthful those words rang; Griffin, if he didn't need his step-son to get his hands dirty, would have killed him years ago as a little defenseless kid. Still, he couldn't make his sudden distress obvious to Kendall.
The brunette shrugged, pulling Kendall into the nearest corner, said blonde moaning when James began peppering sweet kisses across his chin and neck. "So are you saying you wish for me to leave?" He asked in a low, husky tone, capturing Kendall's lips in a fiery, passionate kiss.
The blonde fell apart at the kiss; his legs nearly gave in if not for James' hands securely around his waist. He sunk his dull fingernails into the worn out leather of James' jacket, pressing his body more into the brunette's. James growled low in his throat and pulled away, making love to Kendall's neck with kisses, love bites and light licks.
"J-James...! Gah!" Kendall choked on words, they unable to jump off his tongue. James smirked into the warm, peach-colored skin; he was seducing the younger boy already, and he hasn't even pulled out all the stops yet.
That is what he loved about Kendall; he was strong, stubborn and fearless, a leader in every sense of the word, but when it came to James he allowed himself to be cared for. He let his guard down, dropped his leader stance and allowed himself to be kissed, loved, tended to as if he was a prince.
To James he was a prince, his prince. His Emerald, his best friend and lover all in one.
"I did not catch that, Kenny Rabbit. Do you wish for me to leave?" Kendall shook his head sharply, mouth slack as James moved his kisses to his hands and wrists, the blonde's pale, thin fingers tracing the tattoo on James' own right wrist.
It was in thick black ink outlined with green: it was Kendall's name, his whole name. There was a heart under his name, a purple heart. James had it done a few months after he turned eighteen, before he gave his boyfriend the promise ring. He said he wanted to keep Kendall close, and every time James left and after they shared a kiss, he'd press two fingers to his lips and to the tattoo; he said Kendall's kisses were magical, and that every time he did that the tattoo would tingle pleasantly, as if it was a part of them both.
At first Kendall thought of how much pain James must have felt at getting a tattoo on such a sensitive area, but the brunette treasured the tattoo almost as much as he cherished Kendall and his lucky comb. After a while, Kendall found it really exciting and sweet to have his name on his fiancee's body.
"N-no, please stay! Come back with me to class, don't go..." Kendall whispered, gripping the front of James' jacket as they shared another kiss; he was left breathless with just a nip, moaning when he felt James' tongue brush his lower lip gently, fondly.
A strange smell made the blonde's nose crinkle though, and James to temporarily freeze in place.
"Jamie...why do you smell like salt and rust?"
'Damn it! I spent three hours in the fucking shower and I still smell like blood! I probably shouldn't have taken off my mask, the smell is still heavy in my hair!' James cursed internally, teeth clenched behind his closed mouth.
He soon blushed in fake embarrassment, an off-character smile on his face. "Griffin had me working with some old friends of his on cars last night, and I swear those guys don't know how to take care of things! The engines were rusted over, it took hours for me just to patch up some of the engines!"
The lie was smooth, fool-proof; Kendall knew how mechanically talented his boyfriend was, he'd joke about how they will save up a lot of money on car repairs in the future, when they were married. He wasn't lying about how long it took to take care of 'business' last night...
Kendall cocked his head to the side, resisting the urge to frown. Something was off about the other's answer, something told him that James wasn't telling the whole story to him. It wasn't through his body language or smile, but his eyes. His eyes were normally a lovely hazel-green, but right now, right now they were dimming to a coal black.
They only went like that when he was deeply upset about something; so many years together, Kendall has learned to read James like a book.
"Are you sure?" James feigned a hurt look.
"You do not believe me, Emerald?" Kendall rubbed the back of his neck.
"It's not that, it's just your eyes. They're turning black."
'Again, damn it.' James thought; his lover wasn't stupid, he noticed the small things that most people would overlook.
"Black, how though? My eyes are naturally hazel-green, sweetie." Kendall now rolled his eyes.
"James, they go darker when something's wrong with you. We've been together for years now, I know you."
'Damn it.'
"I am just a little worried about what my father will say for me skipping work, that's all Kendall." At this the blonde's expression softened, he reaching out to touch James' face softly; the brunette took that hand and kissed it gently, not letting it go.
"Then maybe you should go meet up with him; I don't want to get you in trouble." James snorted.
"Please Kenny, I am always in trouble with him. He was against us dating and tried to break us up, he was against me unofficially proposing to you and tried to break us up still, yet I have ignored it all. If you are trouble, then I am your victim and trust me, I don't mind being the victim of such a beautiful, loving, smart and kind young lynx." James said that last part in a purr, making Kendall blush bright red and his knees to wobble under him. James laced their fingers together, their matching rings catching the weak sunlight over their heads.
"As long as these rings remain and I love you, you are worth anything I have to face." James whispered, expression loving, genuine but also serious.
He's had the title of 'Heartthrob Heartbreaker' for all the four years in high school; many people believed, and still do, that he couldn't be with one person, that Kendall was just a fling he was experimenting with. Many people thought James was a heartless playboy, and he use to be the biggest flirt on campus but all of that changed when he and Kendall confessed their true feelings for each other and got together.
He's always loved Kendall, and since then he's spent all their time together making up for the years he's kept his feelings a secret.
'Damn it, I've never loved someone like this before; the thought of even losing him...I would die without him, he is the one thing I can't live without.'
"J-James..." Kendall held back some tears, feeling deeply touched at the few yet powerful words the brunette just said. He gasped when suddenly James engulfed him in a tight embrace, hands falling on the taller boy's hips.
"James?"
'I'm selfish, a selfish bastard. I say I love him but I can't keep him AND do my jobs as a mercenary. I want to stop killing, I want to stop taking Griffin's orders but he'd kill my mom. I have to fucking pretend I'm just me when I'm really two people; Griffin has the power to completely destroy me, all with one move. And if he has the power to kill my mom...t-then he could go for Kendall too.' James' felt his chest grew tighter at the thought, feeling dizzy as if he wasn't breathing.
Losing his mom would break him, but losing Kendall would kill him! He'd die, he wouldn't be able to go on and he'd kill himself! There was no point living in a world without Kendall, he's all he has!
All he has...and Griffin knows that.
"James?" Kendall called again, yet the brunette was too lost in his thoughts.
'N-no! He won't touch Kendall, if he even tries I'll fucking kill him myself! Griffin took my father away from me, he's trying to control my life! I won't let him take someone else away from me again, no I won't! I'm marrying Kendall no matter what, I won't let Arthur Griffin ruin everything in my life! But the question is...am I willing to risk my mom, my fiancee and my friends just to be free of him?' At this James broke the hug to stare down at his fiancee, who was staring back at him with big, round green eyes.
Those big green eyes; his soft dirty blonde hair, usually a cute messy tangle; his soft peach skin, which often went a strawberry pink when he blushed; those bushy, cute eyebrows; that sweet smile, sweet personality; that look of complete love and adoration he always had on his face when around James; how he loved Carlos and Logan, his mom and sister Katie, so protective of them that he'd take a bullet for them without any second thoughts. The overall beautiful and amazing person Kendall Donald Knight-Diamond (everyone already added James' last name there, even though they were planning to wait two years or so to be married) was.
'Do I really deserve him...?'
"James, please say something...! Y-you're worrying me rig-" Kendall was cut off when James claimed his lips again; the motion behind this one was different though, desperate. It was like the older boy was trying to reassure himself, reassure himself of something torturing him.
'Please don't leave me, Kenny. No matter what.' As if reading James' thoughts, Kendall closed his eyes and kissed back passionately, one hand to James' chest while the one went around his neck. Their mouths molded to each other, bodies pressed close together as they traced each other's bodies, breathing in the other's scent as if it was the air they both breathed.
'Damn, I've really fallen for him. Don't leave me...'
The kiss lasted for five minutes before both pulled away, gasping for air and sharing tender smiles.
"I love you, Jamie." Kendall whispered, that making the other's heart leap.
"I love you too, Kenny."
-Page Break-
"Do you think Ken's alright?" Carlos asked, worry clear in his voice. The blonde has been gone for almost an hour.
Logan soon smiled as the classroom door opened, he taking Carlos' hand in his and giving it a light squeeze.
"He's okay, and so is James." He said, both soon smiling when Kendall and James joined them, Kendall red in the face while James threw a wink at his two best friends.
"Jay, you made it." James nodded.
"Being in school, hitting the books and being with my fiancee and best bros, way more important to me than some...paperwork at a boring office." James said, locking eyes with Miss Wainwright. She smiled weakly, he responding with a wink Kendall, Logan, and Carlos didn't catch.
He had to pretend that he and Miss Wainwright only had a student-teacher relationship, that they never met before his senior year. Kendall had no idea Kelly was in fact James' godmother.
Another secret to add to his list...
'But if I can find a way to break free from Griffin, I won't have to lie and keep secrets for much longer...'
-Page Break-
"So you understand your assignment? You have to work with James as his partner, but you'll really be keeping an eye on him. I don't trust the punk; I need to keep him under control before he decides to go rogue. You got that; you fail me, and Dak will be next on my hit list. Got it?" Griffin asked, eyeing the boy coldly, steely.
The boy, a blonde James' age with pale skin and light brown eyes, swallowed all the nasty things he wanted to dish out on the creep for targeting his boyfriend and smiled darkly, nodding.
"Got it, boss. I keep an eye on Diamond, make sure he toes the line and if he tries a thing, I take out Brooke. No problem, spying and killing are only two of my special skills. Besides, maybe being close by will reveal any other...promising hostages I can target in case he really goes rogue."