It's 9:30 and I'm still not ready to go. After brushing on some mascara, messing with my hair until it looked reasonable, and brushing my teeth twice, I still had to pick out what to wear. I'm stuck between a flowing black dress with a white ribbon at the waist and a black and white striped dress. Eventually I throw on the first one, some black flats, and leave.
I take the bus to school because it's faster. There are only a couple other people on the bus; an Abnegation woman with her two boys, and an Erudite man with a snaggle tooth. When it reaches the school, I know I'm a few minutes late, but oh well.
Jake sits on the curb in front of the school, smiling. He's wearing a black hoodie and jeans. I walk over to him and he stands up to greet me.
"Ross, you make me feel underdressed!" he says, and I smile, looking down at my feet. He looks good in his hoodie, though.
"Not so bad yourself!" I say lightly, rocking on my heels. He laughs, throws an arm around my shoulders, and leads me over to the train tracks. I start to get a bad feeling about this. "Wait. Jake, are you going to make me jump on that thing?"
He pauses. "It's not hard. And I figured it would be good for you to know." Jake looks at his watch. "It'll be here any minute now."
Sure enough, the train comes gliding down the polished rails towards us, the lights flashing. "Just do what I do, okay? Ross, your do great."
Easy for him to say. He's been doing this all his life.
My throat tightens as I run after Jake, the train finally next to us. Why did I wear a dress? He suddenly throws himself sideways and grabs a handle on the side of the car, pulling himself in. I lurch awkwardly towards the train, grabbing the handle. I am holding on just with my hands, my feet airborne. Then he grabs my arm and pulls me in.
My heart is pounding, but I am grinning widely. I love the adrenaline rush of a good sprint and the danger and every aspect of this sample of Dauntless life . . . so how can I stay in Candor when I do not belong there? I can't.
We sit against the wall. "Jake," I say, summoning up all the courage I have. "I'm going to join Dauntless."
He stares at me. Then he laughs. "Really? Ross, this is perfect! I knew you were Dauntless the minute I saw you!" He throws his arm around me and I laugh into it.
My mom will be okay without me. She hasn't cared what I do since Paylor left, anyway. I will join Dauntless with Jake, and we will grow together, closer and closer. We will.
I laugh again. "I thought I was going to stay in Candor. But I just know that it wouldn't be right." He deserves to know about me, I decide.
Jake nods. "Well, you made the right decision. I just know it." He grins widely. "Come on, I'll show you how to jump off."
He launches himself out of the train car and I follow, holding my skirt down. I land hard on my feet, but still; on my feet. Jake smiles.
"See, Ross? You're a natural!" he says. I smile back at him. If this is what it's like to be Dauntless; smiles, laughter, loud noise, and danger; I will be happy. I will fit in.
We walk down Michigan Avenue, holding hands and pointing out old factionless dwellings. I've never had a boyfriend before, but I guess this is what it's like. Hand holding, train jumping, and laughing.
It was the best time I'd had in a while. And for me, there was no going back to Candor now.