Yay for updating!

Not beta-ed; all mistakes are mine.

Chapter Three: Kendall

My head was pounding from all the alcohol I had drank the night before. I wanted nothing more than to just stay in my hotel room the entire day. But I had to go on; more importantly, I had to visit James.

I walked into the small hospital room, the only light coming from the window. He stared outside at the outdoor garden intensely, deep in thought. I could only imagine what was going through his head that very moment. He was probably scared out of his mind, not knowing if he was going to live the next day.

"Hey James," I whispered, walking farther into the room. He turned his head slowly and grinned when our eyes met. He managed to awkwardly sit up, a smile still radiating off his lips.

"Kendall…I was sure you weren't going to come," his voice was melancholy with a fake bit of humor. It hurt knowing that he thought I wouldn't come. Him and I had been friends since we were five. We were the first of our 'group' to meet after all.

"Come on…you're one of my best friends…of course I'd come," I told, sitting on the edge of the bed. I fixed his pillow a little bit, but he pulled it back, irritated.

"Well here I am," his voice was weak and his breathing was shallow, "Waiting for the day."

"What happened?" I couldn't help but ask. He shook his head and looked up at the ceiling.

"When Big Time Rush ended…I didn't know how to go on. I got into some bad drugs and knowing my luck- if I didn't have bad luck I'd have none at all- I got sick. They think it was either critical asthma or emphysema…they weren't quite sure. I was living on the edge after that and ended up getting in a car accident. My lung collapsed and now I can't get enough air out of the other one. They put me on the transplant list…but I'm too far down. So now I'm just…dying."

I sat there, processing what he said. He had all gone on after Big Time Rush. I knew James was really dedicated to it, but I never thought it was that deep. I thought he would move on with ease, go solo or something. But I was wrong; he just went on killing himself.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there," I mumbled. He reached out and grabbed my hand, trying not to disturb any wires. He looked up at me, his brown-green eyes gleaming in the dim light. Tears filled them, resembling those of a young child.

"I'm scared Kendall," he whimpered, "I've never been scared of anything. Neither have you. But I'm scared of dying…I need your help."

I nodded and maneuvered myself closer to him so I was lying beside him. I put my arms around him and held him close, listening to his breathing. Every breath was quick and weak. But he finally fell asleep, silently.

I walked along the beach, my toes squishing in the sand. I held my phone tight, waiting for Logan to get there. I had called him at least 15 minutes before and he still wasn't there. I was starting to wonder if he was really coming.

But soon enough, a taxi dropped the brunette boy off. He jogged down the beach to where I was. He stopped in front of me, looking up at my tear-streaked face.

"Kendall? What's wrong?" he asked, his eyes shining with concern. I shook my head and looked up at the cloudy sky. The air was salty and cold, making my skin get goose bumps.

"He's really dying. And we can't do anything!" I yelled, running and kicking sand. I was going completely crazy, hoping and praying that James would be all right. I knew it wasn't realistic, but I stilled wished.

"Kendall!" he ran after me, stopping me. He grabbed my upper-arms and held me in place. "I know he is. But all we can do is be there for him, Make it the best for him."

I nodded, still crying. "I'm scared…" I murmured. He nodded and embraced me in a hug.

"Let's just…walk," he whispered.

We walked down the beach for at least an hour, throwing rocks and jumping the tide. It was the most fun I had had in along time. I remembered why I was with Logan in the first place. Why he was my best friend.

We sat in the sand while the sun was setting. I looked over at him, so serene and happy. "I love you," I whispered. He turned his head to look at me.

"Me too," he said, casually, "You're my soul mate."

I sighed, "Really? You think so?"

He exhaled and turned his entire body towards me. "Yeah…of course I do. But you and I…we weren't good together. Fate says that we were supposed to fall in love and be together forever…but I can't. You need to move on be you Kendall…you've always been that way. You're independent. All I do is weigh you down. So yeah…we're soul mates, but just friends."

I nodded, understanding. My heart was still breaking inside me, but I knew what he was saying. I needed to figure myself out before I could be with him.

We ended up staying the night at the beach, talking and laughing. It felt amazing, having my best friend back; my soul mate.