It had been genuinely .. brilliant the day before. Maybe Zero had snuck around the house a bit, but surely he hadn't met any of his family members, so it was fine. It had also just been those two on the third floor and they were both in fits of giggles at the end. Well, it was especially Zero who seemed to wet himself everytime it was mentioned. It was down to his own stupidity, but he was never going to not believe in the fact that they were demons in incognito. They were horrible, disturbing beast, and he had an extreme shiver each time he thought about them…

That was it. He was about to die. There was no way he could defend himself from the beast. Every attack he threw at it faltered and he couldn't call for help, it would move.

"Tsubaki? Tsubaki, where are you, I have to go- Tsubaki, why are you standing on the toilet?" Zero raised an eyebrow.

"Zero! Thank God! You have to help me!" Tsubaki cried from his perch on the toilet.

"Help you off the toilet or.." Zero started.

"No you idiot! Kill this spider. It's coming closer!" Tsubaki shrieked.

"You're really freaking out this badly over a spider?" Zero chuckled. "Should've told me about this fear sooner.."

Tsubaki stared at Zero. "This isn't a usual spider! This is some type of demon! Please eradicate it from my bathroom."

"Eradicate? Wow, you must be scared." Zero chided.

"I'm not scared! I am just watching out for our safety! You know that spiders can kill. All eight of their legs seethe with rage!" Tsubaki whined still on his perch of the toilet.

Zero tiptoed closer into the bathroom and found the 'spider'. "Tsubaki….this isn't a spider…" He laughed.

"What do you mean that isn't a spider?!" Tsubaki asked. "It's obviously a demon from Hell!"

Zero picked up the 'intruder'. "Spider, hellspawn bent on destruction whatever you want to call it, all in all it's a ball of fluff."

Tsubaki remained perched on his toilet seat. "Zero, why do you have to lie to me?"

Zero turned to Tsubaki with a murderous glint in his eye. "I'm lying huh? Then say hello to your little friend!"

In that moment many things happened. Zero picked up the 'spider', flung it at Tsubaki, turned off the bathroom light and closed the door.

"That'll take care of his arachnophobia." Zero mused as he heard Tsubaki shriek in pure terror.

…but now it was just July. The 22nd of July to be exact. His mother's birthday. Instead of greeting his mother (whom he hadn't spoken to in a month) in her luxurious bed with breakfast, he had been watching her on her death bed. The fear that flooded through him each time he blinked was already enough to kill a man. His relationship with his mother.. hurt him to think about it. He loathed him; her eldest child, a freak. He stared down at her closed eyelids. She wasn't dying, was she? The word haunted him. It crept up behind him and tormented him until he stopped trying. But she wasn't. Not yet. Faint life still lingered and that's all that mattered. His other siblings had come and gone quicker than Tsubaki thought they should have, but he'd stayed. He hadn't moved for hours. He knew why they had not stayed by their mother's side, and that reason was him. Thy despised him, so when he heard their footsteps up the stairs, he made a swift exit.

He had also completely forgotten that he'd told Zero to come round and visit him today. Zero had 'completely forgotten' that he wasn't meant to speak or even make eye contact with his family.

-

"And then?" Tsubaki's youngest sister prompted, leaning forward on her precariously balanced stool.

"He sneaks up to the door," Zero said in a low voice, "and peers into the keyhole." A pairs of wide eyes looked at him with rapt attention. He knew the ghost story would work well - she was anxious enough to be taken in like a child, but old enough not to let it haunt him. At the end, she'd laugh off the story's tension and a little more besides.

"But it's too dark to see anything. So he puts his ear to it instead. But it's deadly silent. So"—out of the corner of his eye, Zero caught a glimpse of Tsubaki slipping away into the woods—"with his palms sweating up a storm, he turns the knob, and creeeaaaks the door open..."

Where in the world was Tsubaki going alone?

"And I'll tell you how it ends when I get back," Zero said with a wink, waving off her cries of disappointment and heading in the direction of the top of the garden. When he was certain her eyes were no longer on him, he circled around to grab his satchel and chase after Tsubaki.

It wasn't long before Zero spotted him, wandering the forest within the 'patrol's' perimeter. It was the route he always used to take when running back to their base at the dead of night. So he probably wasn't intending to do anything stupid, Zero thought with relief. He had a tendency to be reckless when he was responsible for no one but himself. He wouldn't have put it past Tsubaki to spontaneously embark on a mission to teach himself to fly with only one wing..

But it seemed he just wanted some time alone to think. Zero turned around to head back to the house.

"Zero?"

Zero halted and look back at Tsubaki sheepishly. "Oh, hey,"

"You followed me?" Zero shrugged awkwardly and glanced between Tsubaki and his shoes. Tsubaki seemed more amused than anything. "It's fine." He waited until Zero came up to walk alongside him.

"Is something wrong, Mr Perfect?" Zero finally asked.

Tsubaki laughed and said, "Is it time? That's what everyone's asking me. They wonder whether they'll be completely under my 'rule' or not. Their worthless, failure of an older brother's rule."

"I .. it's about your mother?."

Tsubaki rubbed at the bridge of his nose with his hand and muttered, "Her life hangs at a thread, yes."

"Huh.. didn't you say that she was always stronger than your father? I'm sure she'll pull through ."

Of course that was what he said. Tsubaki was smart enough to hear their emptiness, if he wasn't in the mood for playing along. He wasn't, and in the tired voice of a teenage boy, he said, "This isn't an ambush, or a spear wound, or an injuring from flying. It's swamp fever. It claims one in four, and no one's odds are any better. Not even her's."

Faltering slightly at Tsubaki's shift in tone, Zero said with false optimism, "She's lucky. One in four isn't that bad for what we've seen."

Tsubaki shrugged vaguely. "Eh. She looks lucky, because she can always sense the best way to carry on tradition, or how to keep things alive."

Zero let his own smirk fade. "Yeah. I know."

"That's not something I can do."

"Most of us can't."

"I might have to."

Tsubaki rubbed his hand over his sleeve, right above the brand it concealed. All of his family had it, Zero had seen. What it properly symbolised, he hadn't figured out yet, but it was a mark for all of that noble family. He remembered a thousand little comments Tsubaki had made only months ago about how lucky he was to have two strong heirs before him, leaving him to be at liberty to be carefree. Afterward his father disappeared, then his mother fell ill, and now Zero suspected that Tsubaki was berating himself for all his unexpected shortcomings. He had been crying silent tears for a while now, Zero didn't think Tsubaki actually had realised, but now he did and he couldn't stop.

Tsubaki couldn't breathe now. The tears were choking him, blinding him completely. There was something like fire surrounding him, smothering the sky. Staring straight through his hands, Tsubaki watched his world fall down around him. It burnt and destroyed everything he lived for. But did he even live? He felt like he was fading away He could see it, feel it. It wasn't there, but he could touch it. He wanted to touch her. Her face, her hands, not fragile, not weak. Not fading away, not grey. He wanted to see her how she was fifteen years ago, and for her to see him as she saw him fifteen years ago. As much as she hated him now, she thought that he could be something great when he was younger. Before she gave up on him. She'd always been the only safe place he'd known until he met Zero and he wanted more than anything for her to love him again. To adore him like she used to. He was her pride and joy, the thing that made her smile. But that was gone. The future had him, taken him away from pure bliss and dragged him into unforgotten truths.
"I've got you and I'm not letting you go," that voice. That voice brought him sanity, it gave him back to reality when he needed to be. That voice was smiled weakly.
"I know," Tsubaki sniffed violently, and wiped his eyes with the tip of his sleeve. "I'm sorry,"

After a while, leant back, now only holding his hand. "You know," he said, "you don't have to follow in her footsteps." Tsubaki raised his eyebrows at him. "Your name's owner doesn't have to be the one who gives orders."

"But he should be. Passing along the burden is admitting I can't do it." He lifted his chin at Zero and said, "You don't think I should lead either, huh."

"What? I didn't say that."

"No, but after the last few months together you would never take me seriously. I know." Tsubaki leaned against a tree and let his head fall back against the bark. "All this talk of perfection, I've really ruined myself for leadership." Zero searched for the right words; in that silence Tsubaki added, "Mother would be disappointed."

"I'm not disappointed," Zero suddenly blurted out. Tsubaki looked at him like he was interested in what he had to say. "I mean—how long have we known each other? You've always been you for as long as I remember, and that's why I like you. But you've only been you around me and that's why no one takes you seriously."

Tsubaki put his hands against his forehead and gave a sigh as if to say spare me the inspirational speech.

"Geh.. just saying what comes to mind,"

"It's all right. Thanks for being honest."

"No, I mean—what I meant to say is, I know you don't want to, but I also know you have a good sense for what needs to be done. I can't speak for anyone else, but I know you're capable. I'd listen if you led."

Tsubaki had dropped his arms to listen, and now, at a loss for what to do with them, he crossed them behind his head. "It's good to know I'd at least have you," he said, looking down at his feet with enough insecurity to ruin his confident gesture. "If everyone abandons ship, at least I won't have to make it alone."

"I wouldn't let you go alone."

Zero stepped closer and laid a hand on his shoulder. Tsubaki looked him in the eye and the corners of his mouth briefly quirked into a smile. "No, you wouldn't. Thank you." Tsubaki clasped his hand over Zero's arm.

Something about the way Tsubaki was looking at him was just right. Wary of making a mistake, Zero leaned forward, just a little, watching to see if he'd flinch away.

He didn't. Just as tentatively, Tsubaki edged forward, his eyes glinting as if daring Zero to continue—because he would, and at this rate — if they kept going —

Against the tip of his nose, Zero felt Tsubaki's skin brush so lightly it tickled. They froze right there as if it had suddenly occurred to both of them what they were doing.

Then Zero decided that he'd quite like that, and made the final lunge to seal his mouth over the other's, catching his surprised breath in his own mouth. Tsubaki steadied himself against the tree, not caught off guard, but still at a loss for what to do. Tentatively, Zero touched his tongue against Tsubaki's teeth, when it suddenly struck Zero how many lines he had crossed in the last few seconds and he pulled back with embarrassment. Sure he was used to it, but Tsubaki obviously wasn't and especially after what they were just talking about .. he needed to be helped, not harassed.

"Sorry," Zero murmured. Tsubaki didn't reply immediately, staring at Zero's mouth and his rapidly reddening face. "That was weird, wasn't it?"

"A bit," Tsubaki said, partially concealing a contemplative look with a hand across his face.

"I don't know why I did that. I know it's norm- I meant everything I said," Zero spoke. "I wasn't trying being a flirt for once.."

"I know," Tsubaki said. "I can tell … usually,"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Tsubaki shrugged and smirked to himself. "Ah.. we should be heading back, they'll wonder where .. I am,"

Tsubaki crunched through the underbrush in the direction of camp. Following him, Zero wasn't certain if Tsubaki felt better or if he was looking for an exit.

Maybe his little impulse had just put more stress on Tsubaki. He never meant to make things worse. Somewhere in between their constant hyper vigilance and seeing each other's faces all day, they'd all made plenty of heated missteps in the ways they dealt with each other.

Though up until now, kissing his best friend hadn't been one of them. If he had just ruined one of his oldest relationships, he'd regret it forever.

"Huh," Zero mused. "I met your little sister by the way,"

"What?! They're not meant to know you're here!" There was hardly any frustration in his voice, only panic as Zero shrugged loosely.

"She'll forget me,"

"..but I won't," Tsubaki muttered under his breath.