Faltering Trust

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC.

AN: This chapter was a bit rough to write, constantly changing the wording. I hope you guys like how it's turned out. Again let me know what you guys think! So far I've only received three reviews. C'mon you guys! I know there's something you want to say! Please please review! THANKS A BUNCH!

CHAPTER 3

Rafael was breathing heavily as he was mentally kicking himself for running away like that. When he heard Olivia approaching he made a mad dash for the stairway. Even though he was out of sight from her he could still see Olivia poke her head out scanning the hallway for the source of the knock. With a confused look on her face she had closed the door. Why did he run away like that? As soon as the question formed in his head, he knew the answer to it. He was terrified of showing his true feelings. He was El Tiburón in the courtroom, not a pathetic excuse of a man that couldn't control his own emotions. "Una niña" like his father would always gladly call him. He slumped down against the stairs trying with all his strength to not let his tears fall. He was generally a pretty confident person but when he got down to criticizing himself he knew how to do himself in. I guess he was so used to being put down by his mother and father growing up that he took it upon himself to do it before anyone else had the chance to. He was the only one who could beat himself up to the point where he wouldn't want to get back up. That's when his mind flashed back to Olivia's beautifully confused face. He remembered when he had first mentioned his dilemma with his Abuelita in passing one day while he went to get an update about a case at the precinct. Even then, she reassured him, "you're doing your best by her. She may not know it yet, but eventually she will be grateful." She had no idea how much those words had soothed him that day.

Then the other night after having yet another argument with Abuelita, her living arrangements seemed to be the only thing he could really concentrate on while he was over at Olivia's. That night had been different. As if Noah could sense his sadness, he stuck to him like glue. Every few minutes, Noah would look over at him to make sure he was still smiling. Olivia had excused herself to the bathroom leaving me alone with Noah. She trusted me more than I trusted myself, something that I was still in awe about. I was staring at the papers in my hand, clearly not looking at them, and hadn't noticed Noah had looked over his shoulder to check up on me. It wasn't until he had placed his tiny hand on my cheek that I realized what he was doing. Tears started forming in my eyes. I hadn't thought in a million years that children this young could be so perceptive. Noah gently ran his hand softly against my cheek while whispering my name in a calming manner "Rauf" not being able to pronounce my name in full. That's when I broke out with the biggest grin on my face. "¿Que pasa amigo? No te preocupes por mí, estoy bien mi amiguito." -What's wrong my friend? Don't worry about me, I'm fine my little friend.- My answer must have been satisfactory enough because with that Noah giggled and crawled back to his spot playing with his shark and blocks.

"He really has taken a liking to you Rafael." I looked up from Noah to meet Olivia's chocolate brown eyes. Her grin was just as big as mine was. She must've seen the interaction between Noah and me.

"I would have to agree with you on that one, but who would have known that babies like me… of all people? Well at least this baby does." Her chuckle was such a rich sound. When they had finished with dinner, putting Noah to bed, and the case files were scrutinized over, Olivia had brought him a tumbler of his favorite drink. He took the glass obligingly as she sat on the other side of the sofa facing him. A quiet calm had fallen upon them, it wasn't awkward at all as one might think it would be. It was more relaxing than anything. He found himself gazing into the amber liquid of his drink, thinking back to the horrible argument he had earlier with his Abuelita. He didn't know how long they sat in the quiet of each other's company or how long Olivia had been staring at him, but he finally raised his head up to meet her searching quizzical eyes. "She doesn't want to move" he stated flatly, or so he thought. Glad that the realization of whom he was speaking about had dawned on her. She herself was also very perceptive, I guess that's what makes her such a damn good detective and sergeant. As he dropped his gaze back down to his drink, he was expecting her to question him. Of what he wasn't sure, but was surprised that she kept quiet giving him the time for him to continue if he wanted to without any pressure. It became apparent to him that this was truly the first time that he was allowing him see the real him. The hurt scared niño from el barrio was out for her to see. The quiet had extended out a little longer than he liked and so he changed the subject of him leaving. He knew he had surprised her with his sudden change but before he walked out the door, he made sure to thank her. Something about that night had shifted their relationship, for the better he thought.

He took a deep sigh and muttered to himself, "She deserves better than this." Once again he found himself standing in front of Olivia's door. This time though he knew why he was there. He knocked on the door confidently to make sure that she would be able to hear. Hoping that he hadn't taken too long to finally have the guts to be himself, wishing that she were awake.

She had just gotten comfortable on her couch with her glass of wine and a rerun of The Bachelor when she heard knocking on her door. She knew she wasn't going crazy, she clearly heard multiple knocks this time. "It better be Rafael" she grumbled as she was unlocking the tightly locked locks from her door. As she swung the door open cautiously, she got a glimpsed his trademark Louis Vuitton shoes. Relief washing over her as she finished opening the door with a smile plastered to her face. Before she knew it she had her arms wrapped around him. She felt his body instantly tense, "Rafael, I'm…" she was cut off before she could fully pull away from him, he relaxed in her arms wrapping his own arms around her tightly as if he was holding on for dear life.

"No Liv, don't be sorry. This feels good, especially after today." He was surprised by her reaction. Clearly underestimating just how worried she had been over him.

"I'm so glad you're ok. How about we get out of the doorway and into the apartment?" She said this as she dropped her hands to his arms while running them up and down his arm a bit.

"That sounds like a great idea." As they made their way into her apartment, Rafael saw how Olivia was already taking out a tumbler and filling it with ice as he was removing his coat and suit jacket to set them on the arm of the couch. "Look, I have to apologize" he stuttered nervously. He was never nervous. Why were his palms sweating?

With the sound of his uncertain voice she looked up at him, "apologize for what Rafael?"

"Earlier when you answered the door… that was me." He sheepishly grinned her way. Hoping that it would diffuse any aggravation he may have caused earlier.

She looked at his sheepish grin, not being able to help a small smile forming across her face. Sighing, "Honestly, I'm glad that you came to me Rafael. You have no idea how worried I've been about you. When I called and your phone went straight to voicemail…" She couldn't meet his gaze this time letting herself trail off to leave him to guess the horrific thoughts that had coursed through her head all day.

His eyes widened in shock. "Liv, I'm so sorry. I forgot my phone in the car all day. I guessed it died." He searched his pockets to only come up empty. "It still must be in the car," he mused. He stepped closer to her picking up the now full tumbler of scotch from the counter with his right hand. The left instinctively caressed her cheek, not surprised at how soft it was. She leaned into his caress, "I'm sorry Olivia."

She knew that his apology had a lot more meaning to it than just apologizing for not being able to reach him all day. She lifted her right hand to cover his; stilling his thumb in the process of making circles on her cheek. "Rafael, you don't have to be sorry any longer. I don't blame you for what happened to me. What Lewis did is on him, he doesn't have the right to ruin our friendship and I won't allow him to do so."

He casted his eyes down for a second before he was able to raise them back up to meet her steady gaze. When he did, he knew he couldn't hide the guilt that he'd been feeling so long from his eyes. A single tear ran down his cheek which she used her right hand to wipe away. His hand felt bare without her touch on his hand. His cheek on the other hand felt the heat from her hand like the sun caressing his face on a warm sunny day.

Both stood in the kitchen like that for what seemed like an eternity. Staring into each other's eyes so many words were understood without them ever being said. Rafael was the first to break the spell that had fallen upon them with a sigh. "You're too good to me Liv. I can't fathom why or how you've forgiven me for what he did to you."

"Do you trust me?" The question threw Rafael for a loop. His face was now that of curiosity and confusion. "Do you trust me?"

"I…" he looked at her with deep consideration, "Yes Liv, I trust you."

A smirk crept up on her face, "Good. You should." More seriously she stated, "You were there for me during one of the most difficult times of my life Rafael. The only one who didn't treat me like I was broken. I knew I could trust you because you would fight for me, always being in my corner. I need you to trust me that I will always fight for you. You never left me and I intend to never leave you."

For the first time in his life, he was at a loss for words. The witty, quick-tongued Rafael Barba had nothing to say. In what seemed like ages, he acted on his impulse. He leaned towards Olivia brushing a soft kiss on her lips, "Ok Liv."