THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN EDITED AND REVISED
First off, I am SO, SO, SO SOOOO SORRY for the late update! There was really no reason for it other than I'm lazy. lD Thank you all for the kind reviews! I really appreciate it! Now let me just tell you that this chapter has taken 50 YEARS to type. And it's not even that good! I focused more on the story than the gags, so it's not as funny and doesn't have many interruptions. There are also probably some mistakes because freaking FANFICTION was being GAY and mixing everything UP! GAH! Anyway, I tried my best, so here's chapter three, I made it long just for you~! Enjoy!
PS, in case you didn't know, the planned pairings and sub pairings for this story are Obviously DenNor, RussiAmerica, FrUk, LietPol (a bit, because I have... a problem with that pairing. Ugh...) Mild SuFin, Mild AusHungary and AusSwiss.
"Yo! Mathias!"
Said boy closed his locker and looked in the direction of the person who had called his name. "Hey Al, what's up?" They exchanged what could be called a secret handshake, made just for awesome bros such as them. Alfred shrugged.
"Eh, nothing much, ya know; the usual... What happened to your eye?"
The other boy brushed his fingers over the eye Alfred was mentioning. "Oh, you mean this? Haha, Berwald socked me one this morning for calling Tino a pussy yesterday! Th' guy can't take a joke..."
Alfred blinked and sighed. "Yeah, totally. But dude, your story yesterday was KILLER."
Mathias laughed. "Really? Ya think so?"
"Totally! Although..." The boy paused and narrowed his eyes. "What was up with making me Ivan's whore, man? Alfred F. Jones is owned by no one!" He said jabbing his thumb into his chest. Mathias smirked.
"Well, I didn't make you his whore, I said HOE, and also, it was America that was his hoe, not you~" As Mathias said that he didn't even notice Alfred's slight eye twitch. The blond looked at the other golden haired boy from behind his glasses threateningly.
"Yeah, sure, whatever. You so totally based all of those characters off of our class, and I know "America" is me, so don't even try to hide it!" He made air quotations with his hands. "And remember this; I am NOT Ivan Braginski's fucking WHORE!"
"Oh really now, Alfred?" The two boys turned around to look at the third party who had joined the conversation. Alfred's face flushed.
"Ivan. Just fucking great."
Ivan let out his signature childish laugh. "Oh Alfred, you are so strange~" He then snaked his arms over Alfred's shoulders and around his neck, resting his chin on the top of his head.
"Get. The fuck off. Of me. Commie." Denmark smiled as Ivan replied to Alfred with a simple 'no'. He leaned back against the locker and crossed his arms.
"What were you saying Alfred?"
The American promptly stuck up his middle finger at the Dane and mouthed the words 'fuck you' at him. "You both can go to hell-" He looked past Mathias and down the hall at an approaching figure. "Oooh~ speaking of hoes; here comes yours Mathias." The other two looked over and saw who Alfred was talking about. Oh. Erik.
As Erik walked up to the three, Alfred pulled himself out of Ivan's embrace (death grip) and started pulling at the taller boys scarf. "C'mon big guy, let's leave these two be."
"Aha, yes Alfred dear..." The blonde boy just grumbled and proceeded to drag Ivan down the hall.
Erik stood beside Mathias and watched the two other boys stride down the hallway, shaking his head and sighing. "Really, those two..." He turned to face the taller of the two and quirked an eyebrow. "...Your eye..." Mathias smiled sheepishly. "Berwald." Erik clicked his tongue. "Ah. That's what I thought."
"Aww! Well I'm glad you were worried about me, babe!" Erik rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Now... about your story..." Mathias' eyes lit up instantly.
"Did you like it? I but so much work into it, you have no idea!" The spiky-haired blond leaned over and strung his arms around Erik's petite shoulders and buried his head in the crook of the others neck. "But I got through it by thinking of you."
"Ugh. You're such a romantic. It's making me gag. But, really. Me, a princess?"
"aumf pwinse."
"What?"
Mathias lifted his head. "Not a princess, a prince. And I thought you'd like it! I mean, how awesome is it that I get to come to your rescue! Aren't I great at writing romance?" Erik put some distance between them by lightly pushing Mathias' chest, but the arms still remained around his neck. "If that's what you call romance, I really don't think this relationship will last."
Mathias laughed. "Aw, don't joke like that, Er! You know I love ya'..." He leaned in to steal a kiss but his lips met the cold surface of Erik's binder.
"I'm mad at you right now. Let's get to class, "The boy shrugged off the arms around his shoulders and turned on his heels and started walking down the hall.
"...OH COME ON ERIK! Babe, don't be that waaay~!" Mathias yelled as he started down the hallway after his boyfriend.
"Feliciano Vargas?"
"Ve~"
"Lovino Vargas?"
"Here..."
"And Vash Zwingli?"
"Here."
Katyusha checked off the last name on her attendance sheet. She set that aside and folded her hands in front of her on her desk. "Okay class. We were going to continue reading our essays like yesterday, but due to that fact that everyone would rather listen to Mathias'... eh, story, I'm going to ask you all to take out your essays and pass them forward so that I can collect them. Please do so now, all except for Mathias of course." The room sounded with zippers opening and binders clamping open and shut again as the students pulled out their essays and passed them up as told, all relived that they did not have to read them out loud.
Their teacher directed Elizabeta (Who sat in the front row. Phh, honors student...) to collect the papers from the rest of the rows. She did and brought them up to Katyusha's desk and sat back down at her own. Katyusha straitened the papers and set them in a metal basket to the side of the paper filled desk. "Phew! Okay! Now, Mathias, I take it you have your story ready to read?" She asked, leaning slightly in her chair. Mathias Nodded and held a few sheets of loose leaf paper above his head. "Great! Then please come up and continue!"
Mathias half-ran down to the front of the class rooms and put on a large grin. "HELLO EVERYBODY!" A few scattered hellos and enthusiastic cheers. "Ha, well, so. Yeah, I continued my story last night and all so... should I start reading now, teach?"
"Go ahead, dearie!"
"Okay. Oh yeah one more thing before I start." His blue eyes shifted over to look at Erik in the second row. Mathias then cupped his hands around his mouth to use as a sound amplifier of sorts. He took a deep breath. "ERIK, I LOVE YOU, BABE!" He yelled in an overly loud voice. The rest of the class erupted with laughter and Erik's face went flush as he face-palmed. Katyusha looked taken aback, but smiled and laughed.
"Ha-ha, okay then. Care to start now, Mathias?"
"Mm-hmm! Yeah sure! Okay..."
Denmark's team of awesome stopped in town to get some supplies and then headed out towards the forest of doom. Japan led them to the edge of the forest and then stopped. He turned around and looked at the group who were all like 'wtf man? Let's keep going'. "I would just like to warn you all before you go into the forest that it is extremely dangerous, and you should all take extra caution from now on." Denmark rolled his eyes. "Like, we didn't already assume that from the name." Japan didn't say anything for a moment. Probably because he was just owned. He turned his horse around and trotted around the group. "I shall take my leave now. Give Germany-san my regards." And with that, Japan started back towards town and they continued into the dark, dark, dark, dark, dark, dark forest.
The forest was all weird. It had all these weird twisty trees and stuff that like that had faces that were pretty ugly. Plus there were like, bats, EVERYWHERE. Like God was all like, "Lawl, I'll just dump all of the bats in the world into that one forest!" Anyway, the group continued in silence for a while. The rest of the group were all shaking in their boots with one hand on the handles of their swords. What wusses. Denmark wasn't scared at all. Because, well, he's Denmark!
Suddenly, they heard a rustle in the bushes and Iceland screamed like a girl. England clung to France's shirt- Goddammit, Arthur! Stop freaking hitting your head on the desk! Omigawd...The rustling continued and Denmark stepped in front of the group like a hero and held his sword in front of him. Then something started to emerge from the bush. It was- IT WAS-
"A BUNNY!" Denmark dropped his sword and ran over to the small creature and knelt. He started to pet the bunny. "Hehe, look how cute you are! But... why are you green?"
England gasped. "W-wait...a green...bunny?" Denmark turned around and glared at him. "Well, duh, that's what I just said, can't you see him anyway?" England then started to shake.
"D-Denmark. Back. Away. Slowly."
Denmark just continued to pet the bunny. "No, don't tell me what to do! And why should I? You're just jealous because the bunny likes me and not you..."
"N-No, you git! That thing is-!"
"OUCH!" Denmark held his right pointer finger with his left hand as the red liquid seeped out. "Fucking thing bit me..."
England went pale. "Oh god." Denmark scoffed. "Oh, come on. You're being a drama queen! It only bit me! What's the big deal?"
"Big deal? Mon ami, THAT is the big deal!" France said pointing behind Denmark. Denmark looked behind him and then he saw it. Yeah, that was no longer a cute little bunny. Ha-ha, no. That was a freaking beast of utter doom! There stood a large Green beast, its teeth and nails razor sharp, and glowing red demon eyes. It has spread wings and now was panting all like "HUFF, HUFF" and had enough saliva to sail freaking Noah's arc.
"...Shit."
"RUN LIKE BLOODY HELL!" And so they did. Since getting on their horses would be a pain, they all started to run from the green demon bunny. "W-what is that thing?" Denmark asked. England who was running beside him stuttered with is answer.
"A... a flying mint bunny! T-they are highly viscous!"
"WELL NO DUH!" The beast was hot on their trail, well, mostly Iceland's because as we all know, Iceland is a fag, and he can't run as fast as the others. Anyway, and of course, right then and there, England just so happened to trip on a root. A very small tree root.
"Angleterre!" France yelled! They were all certain he was doomed as he let out a bloodcurdling (girlish) scream and the monster bared its spit covered teeth-
BLAM!
"HOLY SHIT!" The class screamed in unison. The loud sound effect had caught them all off guard.
"Ha-ha, sorry to scare you guys! I got into it."
"Dude..." Alfred began.
"I know, I know, too loud! Whatever..." Pansies. The mint bunny then fell backwards as a hole was blasted strait through its chest, and it landed in a puddle of its own blood. The three (plus Iceland) looked around to see where the gun shot had come from.
"Really now. How come every time someone comes into this forest, I end up having to kill a mint bunny? It's costing me bullets..." Que Vash! I mean, Switzerland. "Ugh. I was hoping you'd keep me out of this..."
"Pff! Of course not!" The team all stared at the boy. France exhaled deeply and flipped his hair all girly like. "Mon Deiu! Thank you so much! Angleterre here would have been eaten up by that terrible beast had it not been for you!" He knelt down beside England and pressed the Brit's head to his non-existent boobs. "Oh! Are you alright ma belle fleur?"
England oh so rudely pushed away the hand that was stroking his head. *giggle* "I'm fine! Get your hands off of me, frog!" The green-eyed blond stood and brushed off his clothes as he approached the stranger. "Thank you very much. You saved my life. I am England. May I ask your name?" The boy with the gun crossed his arms.
"My name is VashERR-Switzerland." He looked beyond England to the handsome Dane behind him. "And you are?"
Denmark stepped forward. "I am Denmark! Remember that! Oh yeah, and that's France, and that brat over there is named Iceland, but you can call him Fag like I do." Iceland began to sob. Switzerland nodded his head.
"I take it you all want to get out of here right?" Denmark laughed. "Oh why of course we don't! We totally want to stay here and be eaten alive by Green flying demon bunnies! Ha-ha, yep! That sounds just peachy!" There he goes again with the funnies! He just couldn't control himself!
"Ugh, whatever. Anyway, it's not safe to say out here. Follow me and I will lead you all to my house. You may stay there for the night, and in the morning I shall lead you all out of the forest. Where exactly are you all heading anyway?"
England smacked Denmark again! The meanie! Then he acted like nothing happened at all and turned to Switzerland. "Thank you, that is much appreciated. We are all on our way to the mountain of doom to meet with Germany-"
"WE'RE ON OUR WAY TO SAVE PRINCE NORWAY FROM FAT-HEAD RUSSIA!" Denmark explained epically. Really, England should learn to get to the point of things. Switzerland sighed and walked pasted the group.
"Ah, well, I prefer to stay neutral about those kinds of things. Now hurry up, my sister is waiting."
Switzerland led the group through the forest which seemed like a god-dammed trip around the world, and finally they arrived at his house. A gingerbread house. Denmark stopped and stared.
"...What. The. Hell? Is this thing Hansel and Gretel or something?" Switzerland growled.
"Shut up! I like sweets..."
"Yeah whatever...fatty..." Denmark mumbled.
"What?"
"Nooothing~"
Switzerland walked up to the door and before he could turn the knob, the door flung open. In the doorway was a little girl who was like, I don't know, fourteen or something?" How old is your sister anyway, Vash? "Ugh... thirteen..." Thanks! So yeah, she was fourteen and stuff. She was like, a mini girl version of Switzerland! Except her hair wasn't beautiful and golden and flowed in the wind like Switzerland's, oh no, hers was like... a straw color blond. Yeah. Ha-ha, I love you Vaaash!
"Welcome home brother!"
Switzerland smiled the cutest smile ever to grace the Earth as he hugged his sister. "Hello Li- Li- chhhheeerrrrr..." Uh. Yeeahh, teach? I chose this country for the girl's name and I kind of don't know how to say it.
Katyusha motioned for Mathias to come to her desk. "Let me see." He brought the paper up to her and pointed at the word for her to read. "Mathias, sweetie, please move your finger. I cannot see it... Oh. Oh! Yes, that is pronounced 'Liechtenstein'."
Mathias nodded. "I see... well... We'll just call her Liech for now, Kay? ANYWHO! "Hello Liech." The girl released her grip on the boy and looked past him at the team. "Oh. Who are you four men?" She asked in her so sickeningly sweet high-pitched voice. Denmark, in all of his glory, stepped forward and bowed to the girl. Because he was waaay more of a gentleman than Arthur would ever be. "I believe you mean England." Arthur said scowling.
Mathias looked blankly at him. "I know what I said." So! "I am Sir Denmark of Scandinavialot, and here are my lackeys, England-"
England rolled his eyes. "Charmed..."
"And that's France. The groups pervert!"
France winked at the young girl. "Nice to meet you, jolie demoiselle."
The girl giggled. "And who are you?" She asked looking past the other three.
Iceland froze up for a moment and stuttered. He wasn't used to this much attention! "I-I'm I-Ice-l-land..." That made the girl giggle even more. She must've laughed because of how stupid he looked with that huge blush plastered over his face.
"Well, my name is Liechtenstein," She said doing a curtsy. "Pleased to meet you all."
Switzerland blew a strand of hair out of his face. "They were trying to find their way out towards Death Mountain and almost got killed by a mint bunny. So I brought them here for the night."
"Oh, well, that's nice of you brother! Come in, now. We don't want you all catching cold by standing outside all night!" She stepped aside and motioned a hand for them to come in. normally this is the part of a story where the author would describe the house but I'm too lazy too so yeah. "I'm glad you all came when you did. I just finished making a beef stew for dinner!" Elizabeta raised her hand above her head. "Excuse me, but may I ask something?"
"Uh, sure."
The brunette sat up in her chair and folded her arms. "Why is it that the young girl has to make the dinner, while Vash, uh sorry, I mean Switzerland goes out and shoots bunnies? Is it because it's a female job?"
"No, it's just I-"
"I find that very sexist."
Mathias stared hard at her. Bitch. "Hush yourself woman! I'm trying to read!" The class laughed and Elizabeta gasped. She opened her mouth to say something but Katyusha put up a hand to stop her. My gosh... women... The four men and Iceland sat down at the pretty dining table as Liech served them all bowls of the thick brown liquid. Eww... Switzerland took a large spoonful of the doo doo stew and put it to his mouth to blow on it. He took a bite. "Mmm, Liech, thank you, this is delicious." Denmark nodded his head. For a doo doo stew, it was pretty darn good! Vash. You need to get your sister to make that one thing she made at your house that one time a few months back! Omigawd, that was heavenly!
The girl took her own bowl and sat down on the opposite side of the table as Switzerland. "Thank you!"
They ate in relative silence for a lot of the time. When they all finished England sat back in his chair and exhaled. "That was very delicious Liech."
France smiled. "Yes, way better than anything Angleterre here could make!" And yet again, England hit an innocent man for no reason.
She thanked them all again and Vash cleared his throat. "So you say that you are headed to Germany's place right? And I assume you're going to Russia's castle to take him out?"
"That's right!" Denmark said. "We need to save my beloved prince Norway!" Erik gagged. "We just have to!" Liech clapped her hands together.
"Oh, how romantic! So you're going to Mr. Germany's house? Brother, doesn't he live just past Germany's place?" For a moment Switzerland's face had a pink tint to it. He turned his face away. "Yeah..." He mumbled under his breath. "Hehe, then don't you think it would be nice if they would be so kind as to drop off that letter to him for you on their way?"
Switzerland shot up from his seat. He slammed his hands on the table and yelled, "ABSOLUTELY NOT!"
Denmark laughed. "Ha-ha, your face is mad red right now! What is it, a love letter?"
"Ye-"
"NO! It is definitely not a love letter!" Liech 'tsk'ed and folded her hands in her lap. "Oh, brother. You have been waiting to give that letter to him for god knows how long! This could be your chance!" The blond sat down and hid his face in his hair.
"But... SHE'S there..." France got up and walked to the other side of the table. He rested a hand on the boy's shoulder.
"Mon Ami. Love is a powerful thing! If this letter is something that holds all of your feelings, you must not hold it back! You have to send them out! That is the only way they will reach votre amour~!"
"Wha-! It's not a love lette-"
France pressed his fingers to his lips. "Shhh. You need not say a thing! If it's in the name of love, we shall gladly deliver your letter to this mysterious "him"!" Switzerland was speechless for a moment. He then smacked France's hand away and started to walk out of the room.
"...Fine, do what you like! I'm going to bed." So in all of his prissiness, he walked into the side room and closed the door.
The room was silent for a moment. And the girl clapped her hands together again and -insert high-pitched giggle here-. "Then it's settled! Thank you very much! You have no idea how much this secretly means to brother!" England smiled.
"It's the least we can do after you have shown us such hospitality!" Denmark's eyes sparkled in all of their beautiful blueness.
"Yeah! You've been so nice to us! We'll totally deliver your letter for you!" The girl tilted her head to the side and smiled oh-so cutely! No, seriously, Vash. I love your sister. No joke. "Yeah, well, just don't go all pedophile on her or I'll shoot your face in." Okay! Fine...
"Thank you all!" She got up and took all of the bowls to the sink on the other side of the room. She turned around again. "Well, it's getting late. Brother will probably wake you all up early, so it's best you get some sleep. I shall set up some cots for you." AND SO SHE DID.
After she set up the last cot he turned to the team. "I hope you all get a good night's rest. And again thank you! This really means a lot. Now I am going to retire to bed myself, so have sweet dreams, and don't get the mint bunnies bite! Teehee!" So she blew out the candles and left for her own room.
"Oh my." The brunette looked at the bird that had just landed on his satchel laying on the ground. "Isn't that..."He scooted over and pulled the note out of the pouch on it's back and read it carefully."Hmm. America rarely asks for help. It must be really serious this time."
"Like, what is it?"
The Darker haired of the two looked at his companion. "A letter from America. Tell me, do you know where we can find someone named Denmark?"
THIS. SUCKED. SO. HARD. I HATE IT. I hope you guys didn't find it too bad. I like to imagine that their whole class is somewhat a huge group of friends. And Mathias is someone I think everyone couldn't help but love! That's why he's so friendly with Vash. And I'm also trying to make the "story characters" and the actual characters, different people. Like, Mathias and Denmark are different. That's what I'm going for. I hope you see that... -sweat- And I bet you can guess who Alfred sent the letter to! Also, I HATE writing Liechtenstein! DX GAH! This chapter was soo repetitive... Review if you support Vash's love for the infamous "He"! Katyusha really lets her students get away with murder, doesn't she?