Lay me to sleep

It was just as the sun had started shining again.

Allen smiled serenely and walked through the Black Order's halls like the floor was made out of clouds. He seemed to be an angel; an ethereal creature that descended from the skies to grace those lowly humans with its mere presence.

Lavi thought it suspicious. How could Allen be that happy after having spent the night with Kanda? Maybe the navy-haired male hadn't been there in the first place and Allen finally figured out what bothered his sleep that much? The redhead was determined to find just that out. And maybe he could also get Kanda to be his slave for a little time, since he obviously must have lost the bet. Even if Lavi knew that Allen held feelings for the older Exorcist, it didn't mean Kanda returned them. It'd be a big step forward, though, if the Japanese would just accept them. But that wasn't to be happening any time soon now, was it? Kanda was the most stoic man Lavi had ever come across and he had traveled the world since his childhood.

"Yo, Allen-kun", Lavi greeted his smaller friend, who ignored him completely and instead turned around the corner to enter the cafeteria.

Maybe the Moyashi was just too hungry to talk to his friend? It sounded logical since Allen didn't have a proper meal these last days.

So he decided to follow Allen, but stopped in track, when he saw Allen stepping outside the cafeteria with more than just his mount of food on a little wagon, but Lavi really saw a portion of soba noodles along with the usual Indian food Allen normally ate and the sweets he so cherished. The only one in the whole order who ate soba noodles was Kanda - and no one else. Allen never ate those, since he didn't even know how. (Even if it would be funny to see Allen try to eat those noodles just like Crowley had done and so miserably failed.)

The redhead didn't know what to think about that, so he followed his little friend around to his room and peeked around the corner. He had the right angle so he could see the broad back of Kanda, who had tied his hair into a loose ponytail and was about to get dressed. Had he missed something? Lavi didn't know why Kanda was half naked in Allen's room, while the white haired boy brought him food and smiled so innocently and sweetly at him. He almost lost his temper, though, when he saw Kanda smirking at Allen in a somewhat dirty manner and Allen's blush. Did that bloody stuck-up deflower his cute, little brother, who was more innocent than he believed possible?

However Lavi was mistaken.

The gesture wasn't dirty, it was sadistic. And Allen's blush was from holding back the tears starting to well up in his grey eyes.

When Kanda lay down beside him this night Allen had felt like he was entering paradise. Kanda even wrapped him in his arms and held him close enough that Allen could feel his heartbeat. The navy-haired didn't say anything after that harsh "Roll over", but Allen felt utterly loved by his fellow Exorcist.

Kanda's warmth and his scent made Allen's heart skip a beat and he welcomed the feeling of it although hating it all along.

Upon hearing his name being whispered in the morning, he even felt happier for it was Kanda who said his name. Not one of the many nicknames he was being called but his true name.

"Allen, wake up."

He did it in an almost gentle manner. Kanda didn't know why but he had the urge to wake his little bean sprout and look into those adoring gray eyes of his. And so he did. Allen woke up and saw Kanda as the first thing in the morning without his harsh expressions or words the man looked peaceful. Peaceful enough to make Allen feel at ease and content.

"Good Morning", the younger one whispered tiredly. He felt relaxed for the first time in days.

At first Kanda wanted to pull the boy in his arms and kiss his brains out.

But he didn't, suddenly remembering the bet and that Allen probably didn't even love him. And he wouldn't embarrass himself by admitting his feelings for Allen without even knowing if they were returned. And even if they were; he couldn't be together with anyone - especially not with a boy like the Moyashi. Yes, he craved for him. Yes, he desired him to an extent where it hurt. Yes, every fantasy, be it small or big, was about the Moyashi surrendering to his every wish.

He couldn't show the boy more affection than he already had done.

"Sleep well?" the boy asked sweetly getting slightly agitated by the silence of the older man.

"As good as sleeping next to a short stack can be" Kanda snapped and got up fast.

He seated himself on a chair next to the boy's bed and 'discretely' as well as 'uninterested' watched the boy dress. Allen looked rather appetizing naked. His smallish frame was illuminated by the early sun's light that gave his skin a certain glow. Getting a little problem 'down there' Kanda ordered Allen to bring them some food since it was already midday.

Sadly Allen obeyed hoping the samurai would become a little friendlier with him. Maybe Kanda got irritated when hungry?

So Allen walked down and brought the food as requested. But his hopes were destroyed cruelly. Just a second before Allen had been smiling and happy but now he felt devastated. Kanda sat before him smirking sadistically and saying words Allen didn't want to hear.

"You truly are an idiot. I've lost a bet to the stupid rabid and was forced to sleep by your side so don't jump to any false conclusions. I don't like you and I won't do this again. As far as I am concerned I would get rid of you the moment we talk."

After the older male had finished his meal, he stood up to leave the room. His soba noodles forgotten, which then hit his back and burnt him. Outraged he wanted to punch Allen in the face but he only met a wooden door. He growled and wanted to break it open just to tear the Moyashi to shreds but then he realized what he had done now. He had hurt the little one. He had hurt Allen without even thinking about what he actually said. And now he could hear cute, little Allen cry behind that door which pained him, too. His pride, however, prohibited him from breaking the door and apologizing to Allen. He couldn't go back from what he said. But maybe he could forget Allen now. Maybe Allen would free him from the spell the cursed boy cast on him. But all those 'maybes' wouldn't heal him.

So he left unaware of Lavi who had watched the whole scene without understanding what was said and misinterpreting the scene as a little fight lovers had once in a while, but determined to find out what it was about. So Kanda didn't know that he was about to suffer the hate of the one he loved to its' full extend and also the wrath of the Bookman's apprentice.

This night Allen couldn't find sleep just as he did all those previous night, except that one he had spent with Kanda. But for the other one it all just was a debt he owed Lavi. Lavi, his best friend had betrayed him. Allen couldn't believe it but he had to. And he had to go on. He promised Mana and himself.

"You know, Tim. Maybe I should go and look for someone else. Maybe I need a change? Maybe there is another person out there who can make my heart beat faster."

Allen wiped away his tears and smiled pathetically at his golden golem.

"Yeah. That sounds like a good idea. Do you think I should forgive Lavi? He couldn't have meant it in a bad way. I know that. He is a good friend, right?"

In spite of his words, Allen began to cry his heart clenching at the mere thought of his so-called-best-friend and his love interest taking bets on him.

When Allen got up the next day, he felt as if an Akuma had hit him right in the face. But he stayed strong, remembering the words General Cross had said to him somewhere in Spain.
"You're only as strong as you want yourself to be. Don't submit to depression that easily, boy. I know you can be an idiot sometimes, but I know you're not meant to give up that easily."

It was on his 'birthday'. The day he and Mana set as his birthday, since Allen never had a real one but Mana wanted to celebrate that Allen was born. The white haired exorcist didn't know why Mana was so happy that Allen was born into this world, when Allen himself hated the fact he had to wake up every day as the boy he was. Cursed with that deformed arm. But Mana always told him that this arm of his was a blessing God bestowed him with and so Allen came to think of his arm as acceptable.

Then Mana died. Two times. The first time he was hit by coach. The second time it was Allen's arm that ended his short second life.

"I'm only as strong as I want myself to be!" Allen said as he looked at himself in the mirror and smiled brightly. When Kanda treated him like he was trash, then he might as well do the same to the older male.

"So, Tim, let's show him not to mess around with Allen Walker!"

As Allen walked into the cafeteria the same day, everyone looked at him with fear. He was surrounded by the same aura as Kanda always was and headed straight for the man. Without saying any word, Allen spun around Kanda and punched him in his face.

"You listen, Kanda? I won't forgive for what you've done to me and I will make you regret this."

He punched Kanda again before he simply went to Jerry to get his food. But Kanda wouldn't let him, he, too, spun the younger one around and was about to punch him in the face, but he just grabbed Allen by his arm and dragged him out of the cafeteria, leaving everyone not only shocked but scared for Allen's life.

Sooow... I don't know. I made the chapter a little longer than planned since I didn't update for soo long

So. Lemme get this straight:

There are two ways to go.

Either way Kanda and Allen get entangled in a sweet romance now and we save the drama and tragedy for later.

Or we dive into drama now and have the romance at the end.

I'll let you decide, since I like both ways to go and I want to write both (but I can't now, can I?)

Also... the first one to review get's a Oneshot with Allen and Kanda as an exclusive gift from me for having to wait for so long.

Thank you soo much for reading,

Moyashi Core~