A flash of lightening off in the distance roused the two agents from their silence.

"Aw no...I hope it's not going to rain. This is a new suit," Napoleon grumbled.

"And if this one is damaged...how many will that make for this year?" the Russian smiled.

"Save the wise cracks...and this coming from the man who still wears the same cheap suit he wore when he came here from England?"

"There is nothing wrong with that suit..."

"Nothing that a dumpster wouldn't solve?"

There was another flash of lightning, this time illuminating the entire sky...followed by a loud thunderclap, then heavy drops of rain thumped against the car as the sky began to open up.

Illya was suddenly reminded of something he had all but forgotten about. "Napoleon...did I tell you of the thing that I saw that night I... killed Eric in the New Jersey Pine Barrens?"

"Not that I can recall?"

"I was down on the ground...Eric was aiming his pistol at me when this bizarre creature leaped out of the woods between the two of us. It's presence startled Lehrner enough for me to get a jump on him before it darted away into the dark."

"So what was it?"

"I do not know...it was about four feet tall covered completely in fur and stood on it's hind legs. The head looked very much like a goat with short horns and the creature had a pair of small wings? What could it have been?"

"My God...Illya you saw the Jersey Devil?"

"And what the devil is a Jersey Devil?"

"It's a legendary creature that walks the Pine lands. The story is a...local legend about a woman who cursed her deformed child and it flew up the chimney becoming a demon."

"Oh please Napoleon...I did not see a demon!" Illya laughed," there is no such thing!"

"Hey you didn't believe in ghosts until the night we were snowed in that hotel in Milwaukee?"

"True...I suppose some things are possible; we have both seen some very strange things and people in our years working together...but a demon?"

"Illya if you're going to become an American citizen; you should eventually read up a little bit about the things that make this country what it is...and I don't just mean it's laws. I mean the nitty gritty, the real America. Take the Jersey Devil story...that's a real bit of Americana and it adds to the picture as a whole. You had stories...legends where you came from didn't you?"

"Yes...like tale of the witch Baba-Yaga. But they were stories to frighten children and teach them lessons and not real."

"Are you so sure?Maybe the Jersey Devil is real and maybe it's not...but what I'm saying is that it's part of the culture. You and Elliott are not American, but your son is... for his sake maybe you should embrace a bit of what it is to be an American. We're a complicated idealistic people with a lot of influences from other cultures. I know it's trite; but the United States is the true "melting pot,"...maybe it's time you got to know more about "us"...that's all I'm trying to say."

A beep from the tracker drew both of their attention instantly ending their conversation.

"They're on the move early,"Napoleon said.

"Let us hope that the Zakarovs have not changed their mind?"

"What makes you say that?"

"KGB has seen me...they surely suspect the brothers of being up to something at this point. Soviet agents are very good at frightening people and I am sure they have tried to do so with the Zakarovs."

"Hey they made the overture to defect...we can't sit here and second guess if they've changed their minds." Napoleon said."

And tell me again...why was it U.N.C.L.E. that was tasked with this instead of the CIA?"

"I don't know?" Napoleon said realizing the same thing," We seem to be getting quite a few of these thrown our way lately...wonder what that's all about. I think I may have to take this up with the old man when we get back?"

"It may have something to do with me perhaps...being Russian that is? Katiya...the Zakarovs? There is that connection."

The frequency of the signal increased; telling them that the car was nearing their location. Illya quickly assembled his carbine, then stepped out into the rain; positioning himself to the side of the clock tower. There was a street light that illuminated the perfect spot where the Russians would have to slow to take the turn. There he would shoot out the one of the tires.

Illya pulled his communicator; opening it then clipping it to his pocket to leave his hands free.

"O.K. tovarisch there almost here...get ready," his partner's voice came over the communicator.

He could see the headlights in the distance as lightning flashed and thunder exploded immediately after it...telling the Russian the storm was right on top of them. The car slowed and Kuryakin took aim, firing a single shot into the tire. The car swerved, skidding on the wet roas surface as the driver struggled to maintain control until it pulling it to a stop.

Napoleon drove the sedan out; stopping it in front of them, blocking them on the road with the high beam headlights glaring at them; blinding the vision of the KBG agents.

Shots were traded back and forth...the U.N.C.L.E. agents using sleep darts dispatched the Russian agents quickly until only the driver was left...and he surrendered to them when he realized his companions had been taken down.

The Zakarovs exited the car with their hands raised.

"That won't be necessary," Napoleon called to them as he hit the driver with a tranquilizer round.

Illya stepped away from the tower; walking to finally greet his fellow Russians."Dobro poshalovat' v Ameriku...Ya Kuryakin Illya Nickovich_welcome to America...I am Illya Nickovich Kuryakin," he said as he offered them his soaking wet hand.

"Save the pleasantries for later...let's get out of here please?' Napoleon urged as the rain began to fall harder.

They hurried the two men into the car with them; then shoved the sleeping bodies of the KGB agents unceremoniously into their own car. Illya paused for a moment...staring coldly at the sleeping face of Kiril Andropov; then shook his head as he walked away from the man.

They arrived at the safe house in Brooklyn...deposting the two scientists safetly into the hands of the CIA.

"Thank you Napoleon and you too... Comrade for your assistance,"said Bill Klein. "so what's this I hear about you defecting Kuryakin?"

"I am defecting that is correct."

"Well it better be legit you little puke or so help me...?"

Illya's only response was a loud sneeze.

"Jesus Bill can't you cut him some slack?" Napoleon barked, " I mean the man just helped facilitate this defection for you at risk to his own life."

Klein snorted his reply as he escorted the Zakarovs to a car that ready to drive them to Langley.

"Embrace Americana..." Illya mumbled to his partner.

"Hey that asshole does not represent the whole country alright?" Napoleon chided his partner.

Illya shrugged his reply as he headed to the bathroom to clean up before heading to headquarters to debrief.

It was nearly two in the morning when they arrived, not surprised to find their boss still in his office.

"Gentlemen," said Waverly as he welcomed them to sit," so the defection I take it went well?"

"Yes sir...all in all it did," Napoleon answered."May I ask Mr. Waverly...why is the CIA having us act as intermediaries for their deals?"

"It is all about culpability and information sharing Mr. Solo...they need to keep their image as invisble and as sqeaky clean as possible...helping to maintain the righteous persona of the U.S. government. They will reap the benefits; while they pretend to remain free of guilt and the pointing finger of the Soviet government. Although I see this as just pure childishness...as it is a known fact that CIA is ultimately involved in all defections to the States."

"Now Mr. Kuryakin...I think your report can wait until morning as I understand your son is in hospital?"

"Yes sir...just a precaution I am told."

A secretary walked discreetly into the office... "I'm so sorry to interrupt Mr. Waverly but there is a telephone call for Mr. Kuryakin...it's his wife. She says it's important."

"Not a problem Miss...Meadows is it? I would say we are done for now...Mr. Kuryakin you can take the call here."

Illya picked up the telephone receiver. "How is he?...he has what?...no I have not. Really? Alright...I will take care of it. Lyublyu tebya_love you," he whispered, then hung up the phone.

"I am sorry...there has been a devlopment and I need to go up to medical to see Dr. Schneider...Napoleon, you ugh...may need to accompany me?"

"Well be on your way then gentlemen...it's late and though you may believe otherwise I do require sleep. You can fill me in on this tomorrow Mr. Kuryakin...good night."

"Thank you sir." Illya walked quickly from the room with his partner trailing after him.

"You going to tell me what this is all about...is Demmy O.K.?"

"He will be fine Napoleon...but best we speak to Max."

Illya sat on the exam table in medical with his jacket and shirt removed...

"Alright," said Max," symptoms...headache?"

"Off and on."

"Tiredness?''

"Always."

"Sore throat ...chills?"

"No.."

"Loss of appetite? he finally asked, but not expecting the answer the Russian, known for his voracious appetite gave him.

"Yes."

"But when you were eating...it was healthy as you were ordered, correct?"

"correct"

"Any sneezing"

"Yes."

"Whoa...O.K." Max clicked his tongue.

"Max palpated the areas behind Illya's ears and along his jaw line."No swelling that I can feel..."

Napoleon had stood by in silence during the whole process then finally spoke up..."Is someone going to please tell me what this is all about?"

"Napoleon," said Max,"Illya's son has the mumps... though I understand they first thought he had cat-scratch fever; given I take it there is a new pet in the family? But blood tests indicated otherwise... now according to my medical records; neither of you has ever had the mumps."

"Max that's a childhood illness isn't it?" Napoleon asked.

"Adults can get it too if they are exposed to to the mumps virus and it can be highly contagious. Some people don't have symptoms which can be quite dangerous as the virus in adults can possibly result in meningitis, pancreatitis or even deafness.

"Illya is exhibiting some of the symptoms...but not the typical swelling of the parotid salivary gland that's located in the cheek as well as the glands along the jawline just below the ears. In about thirty percent of males there can be Orchitis, a rather painful swelling of the testes. Incubation can take as little as twelve days but can take as long a twenty-five days for symptoms to develop. Napoleon has Illya sneezed around you at all recently?"

"Yeah but it was his allergies...wasn't it your allergies Illya?"he asked nervously.

"At this point my friend...I doubt it," the Russian said meekly with a shrug.

"Napoleon...any symptoms at all?'

"Not a thing Doc."

"Well let me do an exam and I'm ordering some blood tests and a throat culture for both of you... there really isn't a treatment for the mumps by the way."

"Oh boy oh boy...that's just peachy?" Napoleon mumbled.

"Well if you two have it...then it's acetaminophen and bed rest and unfortunately quarantine as I don't think Alex will take kindly to you infecting anyone else in headquarters?"

The next morning Illya Kuryakin and Napoleon Solo lay in adjoining beds in medical; having developed full blown symptoms of the mumps...swelling in the glands and other places.

Nurse Walsh had just finished taking their temperatures and had wrapped warm, moist towels around their throats to help with that swelling and ice packs for their...dignity.

"Ah Jaysus! Don't the two of ye look totally forlorn!" Elliott laughed as she walked into their room.

"Demya?" Illya croaked as his throat was now sore as well."

"He's fine...Illuysha...they're keeping him at the hospital for another day. Then he will be recovering at home. Now ye two I hear are cut off for a while; quarantine is it?"

"So how is it you aren't sick?" Napoleon asked.

"Because darlin' I've had the mumps when I was a child..." she smiled...Napoleon, ye have a visitor here to see you; she's waiting in the hall."

"...don't tell me Dolores?"

"Not quite." Elliott disappeared through the door, ushering the woman in...she wore an UNCLE visitors badge.

"Ciao bello_ hello handsome!"

"Bella...this is a surprise?"

Illya and Elliott glanced at each other smiling as Napoleon's mystery woman had finally been revealed.

"I ran into...Mrs. Kuryakin at the hospital and found out about her son...and your possible exposure. I just thought I'd stop by and offer my services to help you recuperate..."

Napoleon mustered a grin at that news, then sighed."well I guess introductions are in order...Josephina Graziani, you already know Mrs. Kuryakin, but this sickly specimen here is her husband, my friend and partner...Illya Kuryakin."

Illya nodded then whispered the word "pleasure."

Elliott grabbed the bed curtain and pulled it closed around Napoleon's bed..." We'll give ye some privacy I think?" she smiled.

"I can hear the rumour mills beginning to grind to a start already my friend!" Illya attempted to call to his partner, "now it is your turn!" his voice cracked as he tried to laugh.

Two weeks later Illya and Napoleon were symptom free and certified to return to duty. They had been informed by Alexander Waverly that there apparently had been an outbreak of mumps at the Russian Consulate and at residence in Glen Cove." He told them all this with a rather impish smile."Oh and there were a few cases at the CIA as well...Bill Klein among them. I thought you would especially enjoy that bit of news Mr. Kuryakin."

Ten days later, Napoleon had the weekend off as part of his rotation and decided to take that trip he had talked about to see his family in East Hampton...along with a guest.

He drove up the circular drive in his silver convertible to the front of the house parking in there as a sandy haired older woman walked out to meet him.

"Hello mom...how are you?" he smiled as he gave her a hug.

"Better now that you're finally home son...it's been far too long? And this is the friend you said you'd be bringing...?"

Bella stepped out from behind Napoleon with a smile.

"This is Josephina Graziani."

"It is an honor to meet you Mrs. Solo and you can call me Gabby...short for my one of my middle names...Gabriella."

"Gabby doesn't suit you at all...Gabriella is so much more pretty and dear me, aren't you the pretty one at that and such unusual eyes...but then my son has always has good taste in women. Now come on inside...you can freshen up and Napoleon can show you to your room. Luncheon will be ready shortly."

"Napoleon...your sisters are out back,"

He gathered up their bags showing Bella upstairs to her room and to the powder room..."come on downstairs when you're ready." he said showing her the french doors leading out the the veranda."

Napoleon left her in her room heading out back where he was greeting by the squeals of his younger sisters Milicent and Theresa.

"Hey big brother long time no see! Milicent said as she dove into her brother's arms.

Napoleon grabbed her spinning her around in a hug."Hi Silly Millie!"

"I'm a little too old for that doncha think? she laughed.

"Hey what about me...don't I count?" said Theresa.

"Equal time of course!" he grabbed her and gave her the same sort of hug he had given Millie.

"So where's Stella and Amelia?"

"They're down at the dock with dad...as soon as Amelia heard you were coming; she wanted to get the boat ready!"

A small blond girl came running across the yard from the direction of the water with her arms outstretched...

"Uncle Napoleon!" she said as he knelt, opening his arms to her...she knocked him backwards to the ground with her momentum.

"Oh sorry!" she giggled as she helped him to his feet.

"That's O.K. honey...wow look at you? Amelia, I swear you've grown a foot since I last saw you!"

"Not a foot... half a foot maybe?"

"Millie what are you feeding this child?

"Uncle Napoleon I'm not a child...I'm going to be eleven in a week!"

"Excuse me then... young lady...I'm sorry but I can't be here for your birthday but I have your present with me this time?"

"My birthday present...what is it?"

"Not a chance...you won't get me to break!"

"Not even if I torture you...you evil doer!" Amelia laughed.

"Amelia stop that!" a woman called out from behind her."Napoleon...you really shouldn't encourage her...she is not a boy!"

"Hi Stella...how are you?" he asked showing an obvious change in his demeanor.

She walked to him; leaning her cheek towards Napoleon, allowing him to give a quick kiss in greeting.

'I'm doing wonderfully...if you can call being stuck here again for the summer. Really...the only thing I miss about my marriage was the traveling! But now a days it just wouldn't do for a woman to travel alone!"

"It never stopped Aunt Amy?" he mumbled.

"Napoleon that was a different time...when women were respected and showed self respect. This ridiculous women's lib thing is so ridiculous. Imagine a woman having to work for a living...not even letting a man open a door for her!" Stella clicked her tongue in annoyance.

Bella appeared through the French doors to the veranda and Napoleon walked up, escorting her to the lawn.

Stella, Theresa...Milicent, this is Josephina Isabella Maria Gabriella Graziani."

"Hi...you can just call me Gabby for short." she smiled

"Ewww she's a cutie!... you call me Millie for short," she giggled.

"Hi Gabby, nice to meet you," smiled Theresa as she offered her a hand."

"Stella?"

"Yes...hello." she said taking a sip of her white wine.

"What about me Uncle Napoleon?"

"And this little firecracker is my favorite niece, Amelia."

"I'm named after our my great-aunt Amy...she died last year. And Uncle Napoleon...I'm your only niece!"

Napoleon repeated Bella's full name to Amelia...

"Wow...Napoleon and Josephina that's too funny!

"Amelia don't be rude!" snapped Stella." It's not polite to make fun of a person's name, especially when they don't have a say in it."

"No it's alright," said Bella,"I thought it was pretty funny myself when your Uncle and I first met."

"My other Uncle has a weird name too...it's Hannibal."

"So I heard," Bella smiled.

Someone cleared a throat behind them...announcing his presence.

"Hello son"

"Hello dad,' he responded, shaking his father's hand," Sir, I'd like you to meet my... girlfriend, Miss Graziani."

"How do you do Miss Graziani...I'm Darius Solo father to this reject."

"Dad?"

"Just joking son...I understand you are aware of my son's current line of work; though I would have preferred he made a career in military intelligence..."

"Yes sir...I know what he does for a living."

"And you still want to be his girlfriend...lady you've got guts?" said Millie.

"Everyone...luncheon is ready on the veranda," called Mrs. Solo.

They sat down to a meal of crab cake over salad as an appetizer and then sea bass with tomatoes, olives and capers, served with a Chateaux Cheval-blanc bordeax vintage 1960.

"How is that cute partner of yours? Theresa asked.

"Married with a son." he answered," realizing how long it had actually been since he's seen Theresa."

"That's a bummer."

"Sorry Terry, he wasn't your type."

"Yeah...but I bet he's fun in bed...the serious ones usually are. So Gabby, you sleeping with my brother?"

"Theresa...can't you control that mouth of yours...honestly, mother you need to have a talk with her again."

"So is he still a dyed in the wool Communist."

"Dad...please don't start that again?"

"So tell me Gabby how did you and my son meet?" asked Mrs. Solo; trying to defuse the tension between father and son.

"I was his nurse...I work in Mount Sinai Hospital in the ICU."

Mrs. Solo suddenly looked distressed."Oh dear you were't hurt badly were you Napoleon?"

"Remember mom we agreed to not talk about that part of my life?" he cautioned her.

She nodded to him, acknowledging his reminder...

"Oh Gawd! Another liberated woman...a nurse?"

"Stella...there is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman who has a job. I taught for twenty five years as you recall?"

"Yeah sis...you should try getting a job...you might actually like it?"Napoleon jabbed at his older sister.

"I think a nurse is cool,'said Amelia,'do you get to see a lot of blood and guts?"

"Amelia, dear not at the table please?" her grandmother politely reprimanded her.

"Met a lot of good triage nurses in my day...Graziani?" said Darius," I recall a General Rudolpho Graziani in Italy during the war...any relation?"

"No I'm sorry sir...all my family are from Brooklyn."

"Brooklyn?" repeated Stella with disdain.

Bella took note of it; not liking her tone of voice...she put on her best Brooklyn accent in response."Yeah, Brooklyn... Ya gotta problem wit it?" she said throwing her napkin on the table.

Before his sister could respond Napoleon spoke up..."You know...I'm pretty full from that delicious lunch. I think Gabby and I are going to take a little walk...I'd like to show her the boat."

"But Napoleon, we haven't had coffee and dessert yet...and I have the most wonderful tarts prepared." said his mother.

"No thanks mom...gotta watch the old waistline," he tried smiling as he patted his stomach.""Come on Gabby?he said helping her up from the chair.

"Can I come?said Amelia.

"That's may I come honey? he said," and not right now, I need a little private time with Gabby."

"Awww!"

"Amelia...help me with the dessert please?"

"Yes grandmother..." she answered' obviously disappointed.

They said nothing until reaching the dock...

"Napoleon I'm so sorry...that was awfully rude of me!"

"No Bella, you had every right to be annoyed...I should have warned you. Stella can be a real...judgemental person. She has a lot of issues and likes to lash out at people who aren't like her. The rest of my family is pretty...I don't know? Different? I'm sorry Bella, I'm used to them...I didn't think how they'd be to a stranger."

"Napoleon...they're not all that bad, trust me? When you get to meet my family; you'll hardly be able to hear yourself talk...they're so noisy. And arguments at the table...forget about it! You know that saying is true...you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family."

"True, true," he smiled wrapping his arms around her waist; pulling her into a deep, passionate kiss." Mmmm, that's better." he whispered into her ear as he nibbled on it.

FINIS