Ayumi Kudou- That's my thing, too! I'm really not a romantic person. Thus why every lovey-dovey scene I write is… awkward. But anyway. I have a rant against yaoi, if you'd like to read it. I'm all for the het pairings too, don't worry.

Oh, summer. I love you. However, this is going to be a busy week, so the next chapter might not be up as quickly as these have been. Sorry about that.

Chapter 3-

A thousand colorful streamers popped out in front of the camcorder, momentarily blocking the rest of the scene from view. When the streamers succumbed to gravity, a grumpy Arthur came into view, flanked on both sides by a grinning Francis and Brandon. Gilbert pranced back into position, giving the camcorder-holder a thumbs up. "And, all together now…. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LIMEY! Er, I mean, ARTHUR!"

"I am going to kill you," Arthur calmly promised him, merely crossing his arms. "This is why Samantha kidnapped me? A stupid birthday party?"

Gilbert irritably flicked his forehead. "Are all British people this annoying? Seriously. If Samantha wasn't awesome, I'd have to wonder about her, too."

Samantha's indignant cry was heard in the background.

Brandon rolled his eyes. The camcorder was swung backwards to catch Elizabeta and Roderich carrying in a rather large box. "If that's something explosive, I swear-"

"Relax, mon cher," Francis's voice interrupted him. "I baked you a cake filled with love out of the goodness of my heart."

"It's probably full of crack, knowing you blundering wankers."

"Again with the hurtful words!" Brandon exclaimed as the camcorder finally turned back to them. He shook his head shamefully. "And to say such a thing of one of your band members…."

Arthur's face turned an interesting red shade. Francis slightly panicked, not sure to take it as embarrassment or anger. As a precaution, the Frenchman inched back. He was well to do so. Arthur jumped up in a rage. "How can you bloody say that when you sent me alone to a concert? I was the only one to show up! And why? Because you both were out lolly-gagging with Elizabeta and Roderich, conveniently forgetting about the date we had planned for months!"

Gilbert made a face of disgust. "First of all, don't call it a date, okay? And second, we told you it was a stupid, unawesome idea. No one even showed up, right?"

"EVERYONE BLOODY SHOWED UP!"

The camcorder turned to face Elizabeta. "Amiga, do all American birthday parties begin with a argument?"

"An argument," Elizabeta quietly corrected Antonio, taping the whole spectacle. She took the camcorder from his possession and broke up the boys' fight. "Hey, Samantha finished cutting the cake, so shut up and eat it before I decide to take it home myself."

Arthur muttered something under his breath, but complied to her orders. Snickering behind his back, Gilbert and Brandon followed. Francis remained. The blonde chuckled into the camcorder. "I told you this would be a wonderful idea, Elizabeta. One day, when we're old and still sexy because we're always going to be sexy, we're going to sit down and watch these silly little videos. Our kids can watch them! I can just see little Francis Jr. running around, and my beautiful French wife will be there…."

"That's a wonderful plan," Elizabeta said blandly. "It'll be lovely, unless we kill each other first."

"Oh, whatever. But have I ever told you how I'm going to meet my future French wife?"

She sighed, keeping the camcorder trained on everyone fighting over who got which piece of cake. "How, Francis?"

He dreamily sighed. "Well. It will be lightly drizzling. The lights in Paris will be dimmed as the twilight begins to fall over the city. Across the street, I will see a beautiful girl running for cover from the rain. Later, under the Eiffel Tower, we meet again, kiss passionately, and voila! Mrs. Bonnefoy."

Elizabeta warily turned the camcorder back to him, momentarily leaving the mongrels to fight amongst themselves. "Uh, that's… delightful, Francis."

He nodded and joined the fight, calling for a corner piece covered in icing.

"'Tonio and Francis! I saved you guys a piece with a lot of icing," Gilbert called out, holding the plates high. "Don't let Roderich get his grubby hands on my plate, Big Awesome."

Brandon solemnly nodded. "Wouldn't dream of it, Mini-Awesome."

Once everyone had been served, and Happy Birthday was sung at least seven times (three times in Spanish, courtesy of Antonio), Samantha pulled out the first present. Muttering under his breath, Arthur reverently unfolded the Union Jack flag some idiot had wrapped the box with. Inside the aforementioned box was the largest pair of headphones he had ever laid eyes on.

"That's from me," Brandon smugly announced. "Does that count as an apology for ditching you?"

"For now, I suppose," Arthur absently nodded, turning the headphones over in his hands. Awe was written all over his face. Seeing this, Samantha jerked them away with a maniacal laugh and placed the next box in his hands.

Arthur ripped the paper away, glad no one had dared desecrate his flag this time. "Cookies?"

Francis batted his eyelashes. "Baked with the love left over from the cake."

"You have no idea just how much I hate you, Frog," Arthur swore, eagerly sending the foul (yet delicious looking) things to Samantha.

Every other present went in a similar fashion. Arthur would marvel, but keep that soured expression on his face. It was amusing, to say the least. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't make himself truly hate them the way he proclaimed to.

After giving a stubborn thank you to everyone, Gilbert dragged out the tape player. "Okay, to kick off the real awesome party, shall we begin with Poison, ACDC, ABBA, or Meatloaf?"

"You listen to girly ABBA?" Samantha crowed. Gilbert shot her a glare, and the argument began.

With a sigh, Elizabeta turned the camcorder off.

((((()))))

Before Feliks had come back to America, unfortunately for good this time, Toris had spent his days in peaceful silence. He, Eduard, and Raivis would play cards or watch TV together, eat dinner, do dreaded homework, and go to sleep. Life was stress free and happy, despite being slightly mediocre. But that didn't matter to Toris. Mediocre was fine and dandy with them.

Feliks, however, was not fine and dandy with mediocre.

The first year with Feliks was spent mostly cleaning up after his messes and dealing with the disastrous aftermaths of his "fun ideas". Eduard had found his first gray hair that year. Raivis, poor child, had gotten his mind internally ripped apart when Feliks decided to wear women's clothing over to their house. Eduard had nearly yanked all his hair out, and Toris simply wanted to bang his head against a wall for a few hours.

The second year was better as they all began to grow used to Feliks's strange and eccentric ways. Eduard learned it was better to let Feliks have his way with the interior decorating, because his mother actually liked the changes made. In just a short while, they were sure they had the most stylish house on the block. Tino and Berwald had also settled in, so they had someone to share the madness with. Tino's wonderful Christmas presents were a bonus.

And now, at the present, it was hard for them to imagine one of their old days spent in silence and routine. If Feliks didn't show up at noon on the dot, something was terribly wrong. Toris actually freaked out the first time Feliks drove in late, having slept in because he stayed up to watch a horror movie marathon with Tavian. Apparently it had screwed up his mental sanity more than it already was.

Toris was very appreciative of Tavian from that day forward.

However, after all these years, there was still one thing Toris was without. There was still one teensy, tiny detail that bothered him.

And finally, with his confidence shooting out the roof due to the graduation soon approaching, Toris mustered up his courage and decided to face Feliks.

"U-um," he timidly began, mentally smacking himself repeatedly. "Pol?"

The blonde didn't take his eyes of his mirror, but nodded towards him. "Yeah, Liet?"

"You know how… everyone says you did something terrible at Aria's wedding?"

He nodded again, combing his fingers through his hair to make sure it was still looking as good as it had three seconds ago. Toris rubbed his temples and asked, "What… exactly… did you do?"

Feliks blinked, finally breaking the stare-down between him and his reflection. "You don't know?" he asked. A Cheshire grin spread out on his face. Toris had a feeling asking him was going to end up on his list of Biggest Regrets. Feliks spun around in his swivel chair (he had bought himself one for Christmas so he could have fun spinning around in it) and faced Toris with his most mischievous look.

Toris gulped.

"Well, since Gilbert had told me to be creative, I, like, couldn't let him and the others down! So, I made Tavian drive to the nearest Walmart and pick up two cans of bright pink paint and several waterguns."

He was beginning to get that urge to bash his head against a brick wall again.

Feliks's eyes lit up. "When he brought the supplies, I poured paint and some glitter I had on hand into the water guns and passed them around. Then we took aim and, like, FIRED! Neon pink was everywhere, Liet! Like, it was one of the most beautiful things ever. Hey! We should totally do that to your room this summer! Why do like all the boring colors, anyway? You're so, like, depressing and stuff. I need to find you a girlfriend," Feliks decided, tapping his chin.

Ignoring Toris's stuttered complaints and admonitions, Feliks hopped out of his beloved swivel chair and began pacing through his living room. "Hmm. Pretty girls… let's see. You know Veronica in Calculus, right?

Know Veronica? KNOW VERONICA? Veronica was a girl who changed hair color faster than most people changed pants. It wasn't normal colors, either. Yesterday, for example, had been bright aqua blue. The day before that had been lemon yellow. It had glowed in the dark.

Toris grabbed Feliks's shoulders, stopping his marching. Literally, his marching. He had gotten bored of walking and began marching. "No!" he frantically yelled. "You are not setting me up on a date with Veronica or any of the other weirdoes at school! Or out of school! Yes, that includes people you know back in Poland!"

Feliks pouted. "Aw, you're no fun, Liet. Everyone in this freaking town is a weirdo! And how are you ever going to find love if you don't get out and look for it?"

"How about you?" Toris asked, striking brilliance.

"As if I have time for dating in my busy schedule."

"But you're always here, bothering us."

"Bothering? No, honey, that's too harsh a word. I'm here to… liven things up. Like, remember when I took Raivis school shopping?"

Toris was already headed to the wall, dead set on smacking his head against it a dozen times or so. Feliks gaped, following him with waved arms. "But Liet! He looked so cute! I found him a little sailor outfit and a cape-"

He couldn't stand it anymore. "YOU TOOK HIM TO A HALLOWEEN COSTUME OUTLET."

Feliks blinked. Then, he nodded and drawled, "Oooooooh, I bet that's why they had everything on sale! No one would ever think of coming to a costume store to find such adorable clothes! That reminds me. If we're going to find you Miss Perfect, we have got to change your hideous wardrobe, Liet. You look like you went to Britain and asked them puke Doctor Who all over you. Like, you got the TARDIS in your bedroom?"

Toris reached up a hand to rub his growing migraine away, but Feliks grabbed it first, pulling him out the door. "Like, bye, Mr. and Mrs. Toris's parents! When I'm finished with your son, he'll totes be a supermodel! Liet, remind me to call Tao Wang. I need to see if he'll recreate that beauty he calls his hair on your head."

"What?"

"The mop on your head. Looks like a dead Yorkie? Duh. Keep up, Liet!" Feliks groaned, practically throwing him in his car. Alright. So his rusty old piece of junk didn't deserve to have been given a title as prestigious as "car". However, it was the best he could do since Tavian had legally filed him a restraining order on his Mustang. If Feliks got within a ten foot radius of it, Tavian had permission to brutally stab him with a wooden spoon and call him Edward Cullen.

Since Feliks felt like puking blood every time Tavian mentioned anything Twilight after that rant he'd gone off on, he would rather keep his distance Tavian's Mustang.

Toris stared as Feliks paused to violently shudder. Then, he was completely back to normal.

It was on days like these that he kind of missed being stalked by Ivan Braginski.

((((()))))

They had been driving around aimlessly for about an hour before Toris finally sighed, "You forgot why we left the house, didn't you."

"Pfft, did not. I just got a better idea. Tavian told me there was a haunted house somewhere in town, and I wanna find it. So, we're driving to Arthur Kirkland's house to, like, ask him for directions," Feliks explained.

Great. Toris loved it when he randomly changed plans without bothering to mention it. "Wouldn't it be easier to call Alfred and have him ask instead of us driving around having no idea where they live?"

"Of course I know where they live," Feliks drawled, using his "duh, Liet" voice again. "I asked Samantha the other day, because I was curious. She breaks into his house all the time to kidnap Alfred. She also likes to walk her dogs in his yard, because she knows Arthur hates that."

Somehow, that completely explained why Alfred was such a strange young man.

Rolling his eyes, Toris cranked down the window and settled in for the long ride. It would probably be another three hours before they reached Arthur's house. With their luck, he would conveniently be gone when they arrived.

((((()))))

Toris almost didn't notice they had been circling the mall parking lot. "I look hot with my hair blowing out the window?" Toris blandly guessed.

"Like you're on fire. I've already seen a couple girls staring at you, interested, but they're not cute enough for you. I'm thinking a pretty red head would be nice."

"Pol. Haunted house. Sometime tonight, please?"

"Fine, Mr. Loser Pants. We'll go to the haunted house. You know, we'd have already been there if you had just called Alfred like I told you to. Geez, Liet."

"…I'll get right on it, Pol."

((((()))))

Two hours later, they finally arrived at the address they'd gotten from Alfred. Surprisingly enough, the so-called haunted house was just down the street from Toris's house.

Of course.

The exterior of the house was impressive, shooting up three stories into the sky. The dark wood was cracked and faded, few splotches of its original white color still intact. No glass remained in the windows, but the ornate designs above each window and door were still visible, beautiful even after so many long years.

Feliks, of course, was struck into an awed silence- his equivalent of complete and total adoration. It was going to take serious will-power to drag Feliks out of this place later. Toris checked his watch. "It's nine o'clock. How long are we planning on staying here? I've got an exam tomorrow-"

"Well, it's obviously not an important exam if you're not studying for it," Feliks figured, pushing the door open.

Their hands instantly flew to their noses. "Ugh, gross!" Feliks shrieked. "It smells like twenty-year-old beer and cheetos in here!"

"And popcorn?" Toris asked, stunned to see the trash littering the area. Still holding his nose to fight off the horrible smell, he curiously picked up the popcorn bag, greatly faded in color. "Hey, Pol? I think we crashed someone's party."

"Totally," he agreed, moving into the kitchen. "Hey, there are, like, antique twizzler wrappers in here!"

Toris shook his head in awe. Who had come to this abandoned, decrepit place and partied? For as long as anyone could remember, the house had been empty. He vaguely remembered his parents telling him it was, several years ago.

A pang struck inside his chest. In his mind, two tall figures with hair the same color as his turned around, faces blank. His mother had always curled her hair, letting it fall to her shoulders in loose ringlets. She had been beautiful, Toris was sure. He could perfectly see his parents' wide, pearly smiles, but nothing else. He could still remember their voices telling him goodbye.

We'll just be gone for a little while. Be good for Mrs. Von Brock, alright, Toris? Mes tave myliu.

Toris felt himself slide down to the floor, unaware he had backed up to the wall. A little while. Because, of course, it was just a simple helicopter flight with one of their old friends. The propellers wouldn't get stuck. They wouldn't drop out of the sky and crash into the mountain. It wouldn't burst into flames in the middle of the night, when Toris was fast asleep, unaware his parents were-

"Liet?" Feliks softly called.

Toris blinked the heavy feeling away. Before Feliks could ask if he was okay, he jumped up to his feet. "It's starting to get dark, and I don't think the upper floors are going to be sturdy enough for us. Let's finish looking around here and leave."

Rolling his eyes, Feliks skipped off, dragging Toris to the kitchen. He was honestly in love with the antique furniture and appliances. They spent a good twenty minutes in the darkening kitchen, marveling over the pale blue wall tile under the light of Feliks's cell phone. After a while, Feliks finally sighed, sitting on the counter. He kicked his legs and offered Toris a seat beside him. "This is a totes crappy haunted house," Feliks eloquently observed. "But don't you think it'd, like, make a good new hangout?"

"What do you mean?" Toris asked, absently peeking into the long-empty cabinets.

Feliks shrugged. "Tavian's always going off about how we come in and bother him at work. I thought we could, like, start meeting up here. Just think of how we could freak out Alfred and Feliciano! It'd be awesome!"

"Well, whoever came here before us must have had the same idea. So, yeah. That'd be nice," Toris decided with a smile.

Immediately, Feliks pulled out his phone. "Okay, I'll start on Alfred and Matthew. You can call Ludwig and Natalya. Don't let her tell Ivan. The last thing we need is that freak bludgeoning us to death with a pipe or something."

((((()))))

"You listen to girly ABBA?"

Ludwig snapped awake at the outburst. Seeing the video still playing, he worriedly looked around for any sight of Gilbert. Still nowhere to be found. Tonight he was out with Francis. Ludwig sighed and rewound it to the beginning. The last part he remembered watching was Francis's plans for finding Mrs. Bonnefoy. It was crazy, seeing how carefree everyone was. No one was worried about growing up and divorcing, watching their loved ones die, having to save their sons from a monster. It was astounding, to see how the times had changed them all.

Before he could start it again, his phone rang, almost making him flinch. "Hello? Toris?" he answered, pressing play. The volume was already turned down low, in case Gilbert came home early for some reason.

"Hi. Um, Feliks found a haunted house- okay, well, it's not really haunted. It's just old and abandoned. But anyway, he was wondering if we could start meeting here instead of the coffee shop. I can give you directions tomorrow in lunch."

"And bring some paint!" Feliks butted in. "Preferably something happy-colored. Also, find a gas mask. Some idiots came here and decided to leave their beer and cheetos out, and it smells rancid."

Ludwig froze. "What? Beer and cheetos? Popcorn?"

"Have you been here?" Toris asked in confusion. Ludwig was the last person he had expected to see breaking into abandoned buildings.

The blonde shook his head, momentarily forgetting Toris couldn't see him. "No, but I know who was there. The house doesn't have power, does it?"

"It's not been used in, like, eighty years," Feliks deadpanned. "I think Scarlett O'Hara was the last person to use it."

"Gone With the Wind was in Georgia."

"Georgia, Virginia, close enough. Just bring the paint, okay? I'll get the extension cords later. We can plug them up at Tino and Berwald's place. They're about two or three houses down from here anyway. Ooh! Idea! Like, think we can get cable?"

"No, Pol…."

"Killjoy."

"I'll be over in a moment. I believe I know where it is." Ludwig hung up before he could be dragged into Feliks's one-sided argument on cable television. Besides, he had more important matters to deal with at the moment. If they had found the house from the first video, perhaps he could find a clue about Brandon there. It was highly unlikely, but, if Brandon was anything like Gilbert, he wouldn't have left without leaving some mark that he had been there. Ludwig only hoped leaving the place trashy wasn't that mark.

He quickly put the tape and box back in Gilbert's closet, setting everything back exactly the way they had been. While he wrote a note, some bogus story about having to go to Wal-Mart to pick up some dog food, he called Feliciano.

The boy answered with a yawn. That was good. Feli was usually the last person up. If he had been asleep, everyone else was also asleep. "I know where the house from the first video is," he explained after an apology for waking him. "Would you like me to pick you up?"

"Lovi will kill you if he wakes up," Feli groggily said. "But he's dead-asleep, so you should be okay. Um, did you know Alice is going to college in Brussels, and she has a mom, and she's hanging around some guy named Sebastiaan van Houten?"

Ludwig paused a moment. "What?"

Another yawn. "I'll tell you when you get here." Ludwig frowned at that. Feliciano must have been very sleepy if he didn't want to talk. "Mmm. I'll be standing outside. Want some coffee?"

"Antonio and Aria let you drink coffee?"

"Nope. But I think I need some if we're going to scope out a haunted house. WAIT A MINUTE, IT'S A HAUNTED HOUSE! I CAN'T GO TO A HAUNTED HOUSE! WHAT IF A GHOST EATS ME?"

Ludwig jerked the phone away from his ear. Gingerly, he pulled it back. "Quiet down!" the blonde hissed. He came to a stop at his van, known as "The Luddy-Mobile" to Gilbert. Ludwig gave the pitiful thing a scan, checking to see if anything had randomly fallen off since its last use. Finding everything was clear, he arrived at the hard part: seeing if it would actually start.

Feliciano now spoke in a whisper, though still freaking out over the "haunted" part. After a good ten minutes of explaining that it was not haunted, the van finally spluttered to life.

Ludwig paused a moment to sigh in relief. "Okay. Good. My stupid van decided to work. I'll be by in a minute."

((((()))))

Honestly, Ludwig couldn't say he was surprised to see Lovino standing beside a guilty Feliciano on their porch. "In the back," Lovi ordered his brother in a clipped voice. He himself, who looked absolutely stunning in a large tee shirt and pajama pants, got in the passenger seat. With a glare Ludwig was sure could actually cause him harm, Lovino growled, "Drive. And if you take us to an abandoned building or something, I'm ripping your head off."

"But Feliks and Toris are there too!" Feliciano pleaded, sounding like they had already had this argument several times. Judging by how quickly Lovino employed his arsenal of curses, Ludwig figured it had been quite a few times. Feliciano floundered for a moment, trying to think of some way to keep Lovino from cursing loud enough to wake up Aria and Antonio. Suddenly, he spewed, "What if we kidnap Lili and bring her?"

Lovino cut himself off. Slowly, he turned to Ludwig, gaping. "In front of the school. Vash is watching the eleven o'clock news, Zira is probably at work."

Ludwig groaned, rubbing his forehead. Vash was going to kill them. Literally. He was going to pull out his shotgun or pistol and shoot them repeatedly in the head for this. Then Gilbert was going to drag him home and…. Ludwig blinked in surprise. Actually, he really had no idea what Gilbert would do to him. He would probably be proud his goody-two-shoes son would dare kidnap the police chief's daughter.

"I swear I will tell Gilbert about those stupid videos," Lovino snarled at his hesitancy.

"You told him?" Ludwig burst, turning on Feliciano.

The Italian was on the verge of tears. He smacked his forehead against the headrest. "I had to!" he whined. "I couldn't think of a good way to ask Papà about Brandon, so I went to Lovi for advice-"

"The last time you asked your brother for advice, he told you to walk around town with a flower pot on your head," he deadpanned.

Lovino shrugged at the dirty looks he received. "I was talking to Lili. He bothered me."

Another groan escaped Ludwig's lips. "If- no, when we get caught, I'm ditching you two. Sorry."

Feliciano really was about to cry now. Lovino merely rolled his eyes. With no complaint voiced regarding his intentions, Ludwig started the van, thanking God that it turned on again. For the first few minutes, all was silent. Lovino, still suspicious Ludwig was going to tie up Feliciano and throw him in a lake to drown, spent the journey glaring holes into his head. Feliciano sniffled. Then, he quietly said, "I think I have an idea."

Good Lord.

"What is it?" Ludwig asked uneasily.

Feliciano leaned up between the two front seats, an evil smile- yes, Ludwig had to check twice- unfurling on his face. "Gilbert and the others ran to the house after they egged Arthur, right? What if we do the same with the van? We can head straight to the house that way."

He blinked in surprise. That was… actually somewhat of a decent idea. "We use the van as a get-away car?" Lovino asked, interest piqued. He furrowed his eyebrows. "But how do we get Lili? Her bedroom is on the second floor."

"I have a feeling we'll wake up in jail tomorrow," Ludwig couldn't help but voice.

The brothers completely ignored him. Feliciano tapped on his chin, entering one of his solemn deep-thought modes. "Maybe if we had a ladder…."

"Don't have time to find one. We only have ten minutes until the news goes off," Lovino noted. He looked Ludwig over. "Think you can hold me on your shoulders, Macho Potato?"

"Did you seriously just call me that?"

"Shut up. Can you?"

Ludwig looked him over. Out of all the people he knew, he was pretty sure only Lili and Feliciano were skinner than Lovino Vargas Carriedo. Or Carriedo Vargas. Ludwig didn't particularly care. "I'm pretty sure," he decided.

Lovino rolled his eyes. "Oh, wow. The German used sarcasm." After a thoughtful moment, he added, "I hate you. Thought you'd like to know."

"I'm sure everyone knows, Lovino."

((((()))))

"Geeeeeeeeez," Feliks moaned, languidly kicking his legs up in the air. He was currently laying on top of the kitchen table, bored out of his pretty head. "I told you this idea was, like, stupid, Liet. Why on earth did you tell me to take you to a stupid house and wait on stupid Ludwig?"

Toris, staring up at the dark ceiling, absently hummed. "Interesting way of thinking, Pol. When something doesn't go according to your plans, it's immediately my fault, right?"

"Hey!" he grumbled. "You told me you'd rather come here than let me find you that pretty blonde."

"It was a red-head."

"Whatever. And red clashes with your dark brown. Don't know what the heck I was on when I said that."

While he droned on, now occupied with mentally creating Toris's perfect girl, Toris himself angled his phone towards the ceiling once more. Having to wait on Ludwig had only served to increase his curiosity. He knew the boards were probably too weak for any upstairs investigation, but he couldn't help but wonder. Maybe the second and third floors were the parts that were haunted? Tavian had to have some basis to his claim. Toris knew him well enough that he simply wouldn't make up rumors.

He also knew Tavian would have poked around himself to see if the rumor was true or not.

A slight chill wracked through him. It wasn't midnight yet.

Feliks noticed his worried look and sighed. "You know Tavian makes up all that ghost crap, right? He actually thinks Vlad the Impaler was a vampire hunter. That's why he killed everyone. He thought they were all vampires."

Well, it did make sense.

Toris forced a nod. "Y-you're right. But maybe we should…?"

"Way ahead of you!" Feliks gleefully shouted, hopping off the table. He grabbed Toris's arm and dragged him over to the stairs. Naturally, he pushed Toris forward to test the staircase's strength. Surprisingly enough, it held.

The two timidly made their way up to the second floor, wincing at every creak the floorboards made. After two steps that nearly made his heart stop, Toris decided coming upstairs had been a terrible idea. They were going to break the floor and crash down, breaking their necks. Ludwig would come in and find them dead. "You're freaking out," Feliks sang. He was worry-free, skipping forward to check out the antique loveseat.

Toris took a deep breath. He was freaking out. He didn't need to be freaking out. Houses were made sturdier eighty years ago, after all. Who was to say it still couldn't hold them up?

The air was thick and musky, but thankfully did not have the same stench as the living room. Dust thickly coated every surface. Feliks and Toris quickly got rid of it with their sneezing. The silence, too, was almost numbing. Even with the windows barren of glass, almost no sound could be heard from the quiet streets below- no cicadas rattling, no cars or ostentatious white vans driving past.

"I think I found the master bedroom," Feliks announced, coughing away the dust that flew up when he opened the door. Toris warily peeked over his shoulder. This was the last room on the second floor. Since they hadn't found any other stairs, they assumed the third floor was merely an attic, and thus not important enough for them to try and climb up in it. Feliks stopped in the doorway. "You know, I kinda lied. Tavian doesn't make his stupid ghost stories up."

"I know," Toris shakily nodded.

"So," Feliks continued with a gulp, "if something nasty, like, pops up at us and tries to, like, eat our souls, I want you to know that you've totes been the best friend I ever had."

"More than Tavian?"

"More than Tavian."

"Thanks, Pol. You're my best friend too."

He should have seen it coming. In one fluid moment, Feliks spun out of the doorway and behind Toris. With a muttered apology, he shoved with all his might. Toris fell face-first onto the cold floor. Behind him, Feliks slammed the door shut. "Holler if some undead creature of the dark, like, tries to zombify you! I'll stay out here and look for Ludwig! Remember, you're, like, my best friend!"

The second he found a way to open the door, which had been jammed shut when Feliks slammed it, Toris was going to turn Feliks over to Ivan. For an entire day.

((((()))))

It was the most harrowing two minutes and twenty-eight seconds of their lives. Who knew breaking into the room of the most-protective-dad-ever's daughter could have been so easy? It turns out Lovino had been wrong- Vash must have made Lili switch rooms with him and Zira, on the first floor, when he found out Lovino knew where she slept. Things had been even easier when Lili saw them approach.

The scary part was when Feliciano knocked over the curtains on his way inside.

"Lili, what was that? Are you okay?"

Every heart in the room stopped beating. Lili somehow managed to restart hers and called back, "Yeah, Vati, I'm fine! I accidentally knocked down the curtains. I'm… I'm rearranging my room. I thought my desk could have a better view?"

Heavy, uncomfortable silence prevailed as they waited for Vash to break into the room, wielding every gun in the house on his person. Instead, he uncertainly replied, "Are you sure you should be doing that by yourself? Do you need help?"

"No, no! That's okay. I'll… wait until after school tomorrow."

"…Alright."

"Um, good night, Vati! Love you!"

Still having slight difficulty in breathing, Lili flicked the lights off. Lovino helpfully pulled out his phone. The girl simply stared at them a moment, uncertain as to whether this was a dream or not. She had never had a dream this crazy, so that unfortunately meant the three standing before her really had just come for her in the middle of the night, knowing that Vash would literally blow their brains out if he knew this was happening just down the hall.

She had to say she was impressed.

And awfully worried for their mental health.

Lovino nervously shrugged. "Want to go hang out in a haunted house that's apparently not haunted?"

"And it apparently smells very badly," Feliciano chimed.

Not wanting to be left out, Ludwig added, "I heard it's a very romantic place."

He didn't react in the slightest to Lovino's bony elbow jabbing into his side. Instead, Lovino was the once to nearly cry out in pain, cradling his sore arm. "Do you wear a bullet-proof vest under your clothes?" he furiously whispered.

Considering the location and situation, that actually would have been a pretty good idea.

However, Lili merely shook her head exasperatedly. "You guys wait out in the car. Let me change and I'll be right out. And Feliciano? Please be careful."

They were going to die.

Translations

French-

Mon cher- my dear

Lithuanian-

Mes tave myliu.- We love you.