Title: ATM Have a Cool Christmas Caper in the Caribbean
Author: Kaykyaka
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.
Ratings: K+
Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton.
Summary: Three different girls from three different places end up celebrating Christmas early in the Caribbean with their favorite WWE Superstars and three very special women. ATM is on the case again!
Three - Helicopters, Fire trucks and Limousines Part III
Later that day Carlito's house was filled with scantily clad women dancing with WWE Superstars to the beat of 'Man-eater', 'Me and You' and other various hot tracks while Edge and Nitro looked out for Shawn and Lita on the roof. It all started when Trish and Melina distracted Vince from finding Hunter by jumping into his limo wearing their bathing suits and convincing Vince to go for a ride. Hunter paid the limo driver to let him drive and they went to various strip clubs and picked up dancers to bring back to Carlito's house. Soon the word got out that there was a huge party at Carlito's and everyone was invited. When Vince was convinced that they were all there just to have a good time he left never knowing that Hunter was there and forgetting all about his helicopter. The mogul was soon back in his limo and leaving for the airport while Hunter switched with the driver and went back into the house proud that he had out-smarted the old man once again. Unfortunately Hunter had forgotten that Trish and Melina were still in the limo, the Divas were now vulnerable to any idea Vince McMahon could think of for them all to have "fun" together.
"Here they come!" Nitro said as Vince's helicopter approached Carlito's house with Shawn and Lita inside, "they just missed Vince,"
Edge breathed a sigh of relief, he could imagine what would happen to Lita if Vince caught her hanging out with DX again.
Shawn escorted Lita out of the helicopter but he and the red-head weren't so sure they had landed in the right place. Hunter came out back and saw the horrified faces of Shawn and Lita staring back at him.
"Shawnie!" Hunter shouted opening his arms wide for his friend to jump into. Shawn looked over at Lita.
"This is what happens when I'm not around," he said and Lita nodded looking around at the drunken dancing and fornicating among Hunter's wild and brash party guests.
"Come on Shawnie I've got you covered," Lita said putting her hands over Shawn's eyes as they walked through the sexy people into Carlito's house. Seconds later the music stopped and everyone started to complain including Hunter.
"Don't worry everybody, I'll take care of this," he said and marched into the house only to be blind-sided by Shawn who threw him into the bathroom and locked the door. Lita came back out and addressed the guests.
"Hey everybody my name is Amy and I just wanted to thank you all for coming," she said then Shelton and Carlito ran up to her and hugged her.
"We're so sorry for not sticking up for you," Carlito said.
"Don't be mad at us please!" Shelton said, "We respect you honestly we do!"
"Well could you show a little self-respect and stop making a scene!" Shawn said pulling the guys off of Lita, "She knows your sorry but I have to say I was a little disappointed in you guys, why didn't you step up?"
Shelton and Carlito lowered their heads in shame, "I guess I could have attacked Orton with the butter knife," Shelton said.
"And I could have blinded him with that salsa," Carlito added.
"No, no, no guys," Lita said, "You don't have to do any of that stuff it would only create more ugliness. If you're sorry I forgive you, if you think Randy had a point I really don't care, all I care about is how God feels about me and He thinks I've got more important things to do so if you'll excuse me," Lita turned to face the rowdy guests again when two sets of hands encircled her waist again, "Shawn, little help?" Lita said helplessly.
"Alright guys that's enough," Shawn said pulling Shelton and Carlito off her.
"If you guys really want to help me go get my girls," Lita said and Shelton and Carlito rubbed the back of their necks sheepishly, "are you guys okay?" Lita asked them.
"Sure, Shawn can we talk to you for a minute?" Shelton asked to the Showstoppa who cocked his eye suspiciously at them.
"Okay, I'll be inside if you need me Lita," he said leaving her alone with the inebriated guests.
"Sorry about that it's a long story," she said her eyes scanning the many faces staring at her, "I used to be like you guys partying and drinking my life away not really contributing anything to society except putting all my time and money into wasting time and money,."
"He did what?" Shawn cried suddenly diverting everyone's attention once again, "Hunter how could you do that? Don't even think about coming outta there! Don't you think Trish and Melina have better things to do than driving around Florida half-naked?"
Lita shook her head not even wanting to know what Hunter had persuaded her compatriots to do so she pressed on with her speech,
"Anyway guys I've had a really bad day and normally I would be tempted to join you guys but I won't because that would be wrong. It took a Christian man and his family to remind me that I'm special and I want to pray with you guys right now, that you have someone in your life to make you feel special, somebody that you can give God thanks for, is there anybody here that would like to join me in a moment of thanksgiving to the Lord for everything they have?" Lita said with a warm smile. Everybody went quiet and looked at each other uncertain of what to say, then one woman put her hand up nervously.
"Yes?" Lita said.
"I would like to give thanks for the new job I got starting tomorrow," she said, "I've been stripping for a long time and I found someone who wants to use my animal paintings for an ad campaign against animal abuse,"
The guests were impressed by the young woman's testimony and a few started clapping.
"Come on don't be shy give it up for the young woman," Lita said encouraging everyone to clap with a clap of her own "Is there anyone else?" Lita asked.
"Yeah, my mother's cancer went into remission," a young man said happily his face showing much emotion," the doctors can't find a trace of cancer in her body she's gonna live to be a hundred," he said and the girl who confessed about her new job gave him a hug while everyone applauded.
"Everyone give it up for the young man and his mother's good health!" Lita cried clapping along with them, "Anybody else?" Lita asked.
"I don't wanna give God thanks for a damn thing!" said an angry young man from the side and everyone stopped clapping and turned to look at him, "My sister's in a wheelchair because she fell off the high bar during a gymnastics tournament, should I thank God for making it so that my baby sister will never walk again?"
Everybody went silent and looked down at the ground not sure of what to say only able to feel real bad for the man. Lita walked down from the door of Carlito's kitchen over to the young man and took his hands in her own.
"No that's nothing to give God thanks for," she answered softly, "you wanna give God thanks for sparing your life so that you'll be there when she starts walking again,"
The man looked at Lita like she was crazy yet there was something in her eyes that made it impossible for him to call her that. Lita closed her eyes and squeezed the man's hands, "The Devil wishes to sift you like wheat like he did Simon Peter, I pray that you will come out more refined and with a testimony to the glory of God. Pray for your little sister and don't stop believing that she is in very capable hands, the hands of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen,"
Lita opened her eyes and looked at the man who was shaken by what she had said but at the same-time he wasn't ready to agree with her.
"Let go of me!" he said and snatched his hands away from Lita, "I see nothing but a sad Christmas for my family this year and every year after that!"
"Okay everybody party's over," said Edge coming down from the roof to talk to Lita. The guests all filed out of the house looking at Lita as they past thinking how radiant she looked.
"Did you see her necklace?" one of the women said to her girlfriend as they left.
"Yeah it's totally gorgeous I wonder where I can get one like that," her friend said.
"I can tell you where she got it," Hunter said walking with the women to the door.
"Really where?" one of the women asked.
"Un soporte de la noche," Hunter replied suggestively and the two women looked at each other in disgust.
"One night stand?" they said together.
"No I'm married ladies but thanks for offering," he replied with a wink and the women stomped off in a huff.
"Get back in that bathroom!" Shawn yelled grabbing Hunter from behind and kicking him into the bathroom again and ran after the two women to apologize.
"Sorry about my friend guys he's still going through puberty," he said and the two women smiled at him.
"That's okay Shawn," one of them said.
"Goodnight," Shawn said and waved goodbye to them both.
The two women exchanged amorous glances and said, "¡Ahora hay un hombre que quisiera tener un soporte de una noche con!"
Shelton overheard and smiled under the impression that the women were talking about him and ran to tell Shawn.
"Hey Shawn!" he called to the Showstoppa who turned to face him, "Carlito's been teaching me a little Spanish and you'll never guess what those two women just said about me," he said beaming from ear-to-ear. Shawn looked at the two women he was talking about and decided to humor Shelton.
"What?" he said with a playful smile.
"¡Ahora hay un hombre que quisiera tener un soporte de una noche con!" Shelton repeated raising his eyebrows suggestively.
"Now there's one man I'd like to have a one night stand with?" Shawn said translating and blushing at the same-time and Shelton nodded.
"Yep, I'm that irresistible," Shelton said confidently and Shawn patted him on the back trying not to laugh.
"Good for you kid, good for you," he said pitying Shelton on the inside.
Edge looked over at Lita not sure what to say. "You look beautiful," he said finally admiring the Chimallis necklace around her neck.
"Thank you Shawn and his family bought it for me," she said not looking at Edge but instead inspecting the many cups and plates littering Carlito and Trish's back garden, "Trish is gonna love this," she said imagining the look on her friend's face when she got back from wherever she was.
"Lita I was serious when I said I wanted to marry you," he said putting his hand on her shoulder "You still want to marry me don't you?" he asked earnestly but before she could reply Melina and Trish turned up suddenly in their bikinis and covered in mud. The corner of Lita's mouth turned upwards at the sight of the unhappy Divas even though she wasn't sure what happened to them was anything to smile at.
"Where is he, where is he?" Trish growled like a tiger.
"Let it go Trish let it go!" Carlito said holding his girlfriend back.
"Let me at him!" Trish cried trying to get free of her boyfriend.
"I assume she's talking about Hunter?" Nitro asked Melina who nodded with a head totally covered in mud. Trish tore away from Carlito and ran towards The Game who had broken out of the bathroom for the second time much to Shawn's chagrin. The sight of Trish running towards him electrified him and he pushed Shawn viciously to one side and ran towards her and the two collided, Trish pinning Hunter with a Lou Thesz press much to the joy of the people who were leaving who stopped to cheer Trish on.
"Trish get off him!" Carlito said pulling his girlfriend back but the mud made her slip out of his grasp and she pounced on Hunter again, "I mean it!" Carlito said grabbing her more firmly this time then Trips grabbed her ankle and wouldn't let go.
"No Carlito just a few more minutes please!" he begged and Trish kicked his hand away.
"I had to sit in a limo with Vince McMahon half-naked because of you! Then you drove up to that sleezy strip club where the girls wrestle in the mud and - G'AH! Vince threw us in!" she said angrily and she looked around at the mess and her eyes opened wide, "What happened here? What is all this mess?"
"I'll help you clean up," Lita said taking Trish's hand.
"That's right this whole thing was you're idea in the first place Lita!" Hunter said.
"My idea?" Lita asked him incredulously.
"Yeah making all that conversation about leather and jean bikinis, how could you say something like that to me and not expect something like this to happen?" Hunter said trying to justify himself and Trish took a styrofoam cup up off the ground and crushed it in her hand.
"This is what you're going to be if you don't clean up this mess NOW!" Trish warned Hunter.
"That's what you think!" Hunter said running to Vince's helicopter which suddenly exploded sending Hunter back and everyone covering their mouths in shock, everyone except Trish that is who was pleased at the sight of the burning black metal and went up to Trips to brag.
"I don't think I know, now get to it!" she said and Hunter pouted and started to clear up, "Watch out for the debris!" Trish called out.
"Ouch!" Hunter cried picking up something sharp, "Stupid hot metal!" he cursed.
"Whoa," said Carlito looking at the plumes of smoke that could be seen from afar, "what are the chances of Vince McMahon seeing that?" he asked.
"My copter!" they all heard from a distance the voice instantly recognizable.
"Pretty good," Nitro replied.
"Uh-oh," Lita said and everybody looked at Hunter who was looking back holding a garbage bag.
"Why's everyone looking at me?" he asked furrowing his brow.
"Vince is gonna kill you!" Shelton said.
"He doesn't even know I'm here!" Hunter said.
"He's gonna know it was you who else would be dumb enough to steal his private secret aircraft?" Edge said.
"I don't know but I'm sure you guys will come up with something!" Hunter said dropping the bag and running towards the door.
"Hunter!" Shawn said disapprovingly but Hunter grabbed him and ran to the door. The doorbell rang.
"Who is it?" he said.
"YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!" roared Vince.
"To the roof!" Hunter cried dragging Shawn up the stairs. Lita opened the door and let the mogul in.
"Hi Vince," she said in her nicest voice.
"That's Mr. McMahon!" Vince replied bolting into the house, "Where are they?"
"Upstairs!" Trish answered and Lita bit her lip in pity for DX.
"That's it DX are gonna pay for this one," Vince said marching to the back garden to see if the burning wreckage was in fact his helicopter, unfortunately the WWE logo was a dead give-away. Vince went crimson and the WWE Superstars found themselves trembling in anticipation of what he was going to say. Vince slowly raised his finger and directed it at everyone standing around, "You know that trip I was planning for RAW to the Caribbean pre-Christmas party? DX are not invited and anyone seen with them will be banned from attending as well!" He turned to face the roof as the firemen came to put out the fire and usher everyone out of the house, "Enjoy it up there boys because this is the last time you'll be getting your groove on with your buddies at my expense!" he yelled then turned back to Lita and touched her necklace, "That's beautiful where did you get it?" he asked.
"Oh erm, Shawn bought it for me," Lita said touching the necklace gently. Vince raised his eyebrow disapprovingly at this new information.
"If I see you wearing it again you won't be coming to the Caribbean pre-Christmas party either," Vince said maliciously, "starting now!"
Lita clenched her jaw holding onto her necklace and Edge looked at her worried.
"Lita just take it off," he said reaching for the necklace but she pulled away from him, "Lita I want you to come to the party," Edge said motioning for the necklace again but Lita evaded him.
"No I just won't go," she said and Edge got really upset.
"Fine, you're not invited, make sure I don't see you there," Vince said darkly and walked away from her angrily.
"I can't believe you!" Edge said incredulously, "We're engaged how could you be so stupid?"
"If it wasn't for this necklace I probably wouldn't have even come back here," Lita retaliated, "Shawn and his family gave this to me as a reminder of why I am worth knowing, because I'm special and I'm sorry you don't see it that way,"
"Lita I do see it that way but Vince is gonna be gunning for you now," Edge said back.
"Well he's gonna need a much bigger arsenal," Lita replied and Edge shook his head in disbelief.
"Listen to yourself you sound like-" Edge started.
"DX," Carlito finished.
"Well," Lita said thoughtfully," I always wanted to be part of the Kliq,"
"Come on guys go round front," a firefighter instructed them, "Hey guys get off the roof!" he said to Shawn and Hunter who promptly told him to SUCK IT!
"Hey it's DX!" said another firefighter, "I love those guys!"
"Yeah look what they did to Vince McMahon's helicopter!" said another firefighter.
"Man those guys are the coolest!" said another one.
"You think so huh?" Vince said getting an earful of what he said, "Give me that hose!" he said and snatched the hose away from the firefighter.
"Hey you need training to handle that!" the firefighter warned Vince but the Chairman of the Board wouldn't listen and as he went to aim the hose at Shawn and Hunter he was propelled over to the next house by the sheer force of the water. The firemen laughed along with everyone else it was like a typical DX skit.
"I know who I'll be hanging with when you guys are chilling in the Caribbean," Lita said looking up at Shawn and Hunter who waved down at her.
"You mean where we'll be," Trish said putting her arm around Lita and pulling her into a hug, "I wouldn't dream of having a party without my sister in Christ," she said sincerely and Lita patted her on the back gratefully not caring about the mud now all over her arm.
"Thank you Trish," she said smiling and she looked up and saw Melina looking on her bottom lip quivering.
"Can I be your sister in Christ too?" she said her eyes welling up.
"You always were," Lita answered opening her arms up to Melina,
"you're my little baby sister in Christ, come here mi hermana del bebé,"
Melina flew into her arms and hugged her tightly, "¡Estoy apesadumbrado que le juzgué¡Rogué para usted toda la hora que le fueron/I'm sorry I judged you! I prayed for you the whole time you were gone!"
"I know I know¡No pare siempre el rogar para mí/ Don't ever stop praying for me," Lita replied holding her head lovingly. Melina looked up at her hopefully.
"So you forgive me?" she asked.
"I forgive you," Lita said then looked Melina seriously in the eye, "but don't ever desert me again," she said and Melina cupped her face and smiled.
"Nunca le dejaré/ I will never leave you," she said and they smiled at each other and hugged again.
"Oh I love you guys!" Trish said throwing her arms around them as the guys looked on thoughtfully.
"Well it looks like the team is back together, mud and all," Shelton said.
"Yeah thank God I was worried for a minute there," Carlito said.
"So I guess we're not going to the pre-Christmas party either," Nitro said.
"I guess not, we can't leave these guys alone," Shelton said.
"Guys are you nuts!" Edge said pulling his hair out, "If ATM and DX aren't going we have to cover for them,"
Shelton, Nitro and Carlito nodded thoughtfully.
"You're right," Carlito says, "that's why you're the Rated R Superstar, you're Really smart,"
Edge bowed, "Thank you, we have to think of a way to cover for them while their gone,"
As the guys thought of a plan Shawn looked over at the firemen rescuing Vince out of the neighbor's yard while Hunter stared at Lita, Trish and Melina hugging.
"Wow, all I need now is for Lita to strip down to her underwear and this would be the greatest night of my life," Hunter said mesmerized by the three muddy women.
Shawn rolled his eyes and decided to play along, "I saw Rebecca kissing Lita you know," he said and Hunter turned to look at him in slow motion taking the information in slowly like a Pentium Celeron processor.
"On the cheek?" he said almost short of breath.
"On the lips," Shawn replied and Hunter passed out onto the roses not even conscious of the many thorns pricking him in the face or the amount of garbage he had left to clean up.