Suzu: Yay! People like this story! And they like it when I torture the four angels!
Angels: (whimper)
Jet: (Sarcastic) Nifty.
Suzu: Isn't it? I have skill.
Jet: Whatever. I have power. (Shines flashlight on Kratos)
Kratos: (Glaring as his Judgement outfit disappears, and he is standing in boxers)
All: ...
Jet: Turn it back! Turn it back!
Suzu: (Presses rewind on Kratos, giving back his outfit)
Sheena: That was unexpected.
Zelos: (Quite silent, when he falls to the floor laughing, rolling around)
Kratos: Eruption.
Zelos: (Jumps to his feet) Oh...crap! (Falls unconscious)
Suzu: Settle down, guys, time for the trusty review responses!
Jet: Trusty?
Suzu: Yes, I like having reviewers, so what else is better than to respond to them?
Jet: Having a bowl of ice cream.
Suzu: (Sweatdrops)
Heidi021–Your very welcome! My reviewers deserve acknowledgment. I was curious to see who got the stupid healer joke, as I hate Regal I rarely use him in battle, he's pretty useless. Sorry Regal-fans. I hope you enjoy this chapter!
IbnBandgrl–Oh snap is an awesome saying, isn't it? Don't worry, those four will have a rough time throughout the story. Meheheheh. Holy Martel! I forgot about Mithos! He needs to be in it now!
Zelda's Fox38–Hey, someone else got the joke! Whoa, I'm surprised. Yeah, I should start using him more in battles...ferrets are reliable...right? Thank you for reviewing.
CelestialSanctity–Okay! I will. I'm thinking of a humor one that includes me and my brother. Interesting, no? Happy I made you laugh, cause that's the point!
Crystaltears–Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay!
Smashsis72–Domo arigato! Thank you! I try, I really do...
RoGuE-WhItE-DrAgOn–heheh, careful, don't laugh too hard...
Nameless–I like your name, seriously. They'll go to school reeeally sooon...
Jet: Aren't you famous.
Suzu: Yeah!
Zelos: (Somehow okay) ON WITH THE FIC!
Jet: (Shines flashlight, getting rid of Zelos' voice)
Zelos: ...!
Kratos: Heheh, now the chosen's mute.
Zelos: ...(sweatdrops)
"Why did you do that!" Zelos yelled, watching Yuan scarf down the cookies and started kicking his feet uncontrollably. "We already have Lloyd to look after! Now we have a hyper Yuan!"
"Oops."
"That's not helping..."
"Hey, Chosen!" Yuan yelled, hopping up and down like a little kid.
"Great..."
"Man, what a little kid," Commented Lloyd, like the idiot he is.
"Maybe he'll turn into one," said Zelos scoffed cynically.
Right before their eyes, though, Yuan was transforming into a little kid. The group just stared at the little chibi Yuan, dumbfounded for words. Zelos, as always, broke the silence.
"Holy crap."
"Good job, Zelos," Sheena said, voice filled with sarcasm. "Smooth."
"I didn't do it!"
Kratos walked forward and picked the little renegade leader up. Yuan blinked his big blue eyes and smiled happily at the older man. (Awww! Kawaii!) His clothes seemed to have shrunk with him, yet his cape was way to long but fit his neck. Obviously something is weird since his clothes still fit. Obviously. Are you suspicious, yet? No? Get suspicious, dammit!
"Kratos," Raine said seriously. "What did you do..."
"Nothing...I don't think."
"Obviously he changed Yuan into a kid," said Genis.
"Oh no!" Colette said. "How sad!"
Zelos snorted a laugh. "Yeah. Sad indeed."
"It must have been those cookies." Raine snatched the cookie from Zelos' hand that was given to him and looked at it closely. It looked like a regular cookie. "Yup, it was the cookies."
"How do you know?" Asked Lloyd.
"Because after he ate the cookies, he turned into a kid."
Genis frowned. "Duh, Lloyd."
"Ugh," Zelos groaned. "Thank Martel I didn't eat one. Dammit, Kratos! Trying to poison us!"
"That would be a given," Kratos said calmly. "But I am not allowed to kill off my comrades, even one as obnoxious as you."
"Well, you still gave us these...uh...chibi-changing cookies!"
"It doesn't matter why he was changed," Lloyd said. "But how do we get him back?"
"It may be a good idea to know why." Lloyd shot a nasty glance at Genis.
Yuan suddenly jumped out of Kratos' arms and ran away. Everyone stared at him running.
"..."
"WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING!" Sheena yelled. "GO GET HIM BEFORE HE KILLS HIMSELF OR SOMEONE ELSE!"
All the guys ran after Yuan quickly, with the girls behind them. Noishe whined and followed up behind.
"Ahahahah!" Laughed Yuan. "Tag!" He found another town (this one is different! Different!) and ran inside.
"Where'd he go?" Lloyd panted.
"There!" Yelled Kratos, pointing as he spotted the blue haired kid running through the streets.
"Where?"
"There!"
"Where?"
"There!"
"Where?"
"THERE!" Kratos forced his son's head in the right direction, yet Yuan was almost out of sight. "Aw, damn."
While Kratos and Lloyd were arguing or whatever you want to call it, Zelos had sprung forward with his yellow wings springing on his back to give him an extra force. Yuan watched as Zelos flew forward, ignoring the stares, and stepped out of the way when the chosen was only a few feet from him. Zelos muttered something along the lines of 'oh, crap' and a bunch of other things that would make the rating of this fic go up past PG13, and collided into the wall. A very solid wall. Yeah, and those kinds hurt. Bad. Not that I run into walls or anything...(awkward silence)
"AH! SONNAVA-!" Zelos yelled and held his bloody head. Bleeding, really. Not the other phrase of bloody like in England or something. I mean physically bleeding. Am I confusing you yet?
"Gotcha!" Kratos flung himself forward in hopes of catching Yuan but missed...by a lot. Yuan giggled.
"Wow Kratos, you almost got him," said Genis sarcastically.
"Shut up..."
Yuan ran right past Lloyd, who watched him pass with no sort of movement.
"Lloyd!"
"What, Genis?"
"You were supposed to catch him!"
"...I was?"
"Yes! Argh..."
Colette was trying to think of what to do as Yuan ran at her. "Um..um...Holy song!"
Dead silence.
Kratos growled. "And that was supposed to do...what again?"
"Um...I'll try again...Sorry everyone..."
"Just do it!"
"Angel Feathers!"
Feathers fly but don't effect Yuan at all. Silence again...
Oh, yeah, flying feathers don't really have effect on Earth.
"You tell us now!" Kratos snarled.
Zelos walks back, very dizzy. "Hahah, you people are stupid..."
SMACK!
"Oooww!"
Sheena dusted off her hands. "Speak for yourself."
"Hey," Lloyd said. "Have you noticed that Sheena only hits Zelos and no one else?"
"Yeah!" Genis agreed. "And Raine only hits you and me!"
Kratos snorted. "Well, if she hit Zelos too, the chosen would have a concussion right now."
"Or a big headache," Zelos sighed miserably.
"But the professor never hits anyone except me and Genis, not even Kratos."
"She better not." Kratos narrowed his eyes.
"Angel Feathers!"
Genis looked at Colette. "Colette, it's not working."
"I didn't say it! Yuan did."
"I didn't say it! Yuan did," mimicked Yuan.
"Now he's a parrot," said Raine.
"Now he's a parrot."
Lloyd blinked. "We should get him to stop, he's confusing me."
"We should get him to stop, he's confusing me."
"And it's annoying."
"And it's annoying," Yuan copied Kratos' words.
Zelos smirked. "Allow me."
Sheena looked at him. "You? What are you gonna do?"
Zelos ignored her. "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"
Yuan was silent.
"I rest my case."
"Nifty," Kratos muttered and snatched Yuan up by the cape. "Now we have to get this little runt back to his regular form."
"Do we have to?" Colette pleaded. "He's so cute!"
Everyone was silent, except for Zelos, who had indeed collapsed to the ground in uncontrollable laughter. Who can blame him? Seriously?
"Let me see," Raine said. She took out her staff as Kratos held Yuan in front of him. "Purify!" Nothing happened. "Resurrection!" Nope, nothing. "Um, Nurse!" Nada. "Revitalize!" Nothing, other than every party member getting healed for no reason, which Raine constantly does in battle even if I lose only a tiny bit of health.
"I dare say it's not working," Genis said, frowning sarcastically.
"I concur," agreed Kratos.
"Aw man!" Raine said. "My healing spells had no effect!"
Lloyd ran up with a gel in his hand. "Lemme try!" He stuffed the gel down the poor kid's, er, man's, er, dammit, Yuan's throat. Yuan coughed and choked, spitting out the gel.
"Nasty!" Yuan complained.
"I do not blame him," Kratos said in a rather calm matter. "I like healing much better when attacked by-"
"Monsters!" Zelos yelled.
"Yes, when attacked by mons-"
"No! MONSTERS!" Zelos pointed behind them. The group all turned around to see...more policemen.
Dead silence.
"Zelos, those are cops," Presea said monotone-like.
"Eepy!" Zelos hid behind Sheena. Bad mistake. Whack! "Ow!"
"Don't touch me!" The summoner scolded.
"What are you all doing?" The cop in front asked suspiciously. The 9 party members looked at each other, than at Yuan who was staring at his fingers in Kratos' arms. They all looked sheepishly at the cops, faking smiles.
"Nothing!" Genis lied quickly.
The cops looked at each other and shrugged. "Well, stay out of trouble." They walked away.
Few minutes pass in silence.
"I just got away with destroying a wall," Zelos said.
"And me destroying you," Sheena added. Zelos whimpered.
"Now what? We need to get Yuan back," Lloyd said, looking thoughtful for once.
Colette looked around and spotted a man sitting on the curb. She walked cheerfully over to him, still in a good distance diameter from him. "Hello!"
The man grunted, holding a beer bottle.
"Can you tell us where we can find some help? Our friend here was mysteriously changed into a child by eating a magical cookie!"
Everyone behind her smacked their heads, muttering words like moron or stupid or baka.
The man didn't answer.
"H-hello?" Colette asked, blinking.
The man grunted again and flipped her the finger. Yes, that finger. The one finger. Buwahahah!
Dead silence yet again as the man gets up and shuffles away.
"What did that mean?" Raine said, puzzled. She scratched her cheek questionably.
"Let's ask the author," said Genis, obviously thinking how smart and intelligent I am. "YO AUTHORESS!"
What do you want now?
"That guy just showed us his middle finger! What does that mean?"
...BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! (Cough cough) Hahahahahahahah! (Chokes on spit) Yuck! Hemhem, BUWAHAHAHAHAHAH!
"She's not helping," Kratos mumbled.
"Maybe it means hello or something," Zelos said, staring at his own finger. "These Earthers already have weird cultures."
"Whoa, Zelos!" Lloyd said. "You're actually being smart for once!"
Zelos shot him a nasty glare. "Isn't that ironic?"
"What's ironic?"
"That you are calling me smart and you're...never mind."
Colette suddenly got excited...for no apparent reason. She just did. "Okay! Then we should do it to everyone too!"
So like the curious little morons they are, they did, walking around flipping the bird to everyone they met. Kratos, however, didn't because he was holding Yuan. Yuan was mimicking everyone. I was to busy laughing to tell them to stop...cause it's funny.
"Is it just me," Kratos said. "Or do those people seem not to like it when we move up our middle finger?"
Good old Kratos. Smart guy.
"Stop being a party pooper," Zelos said, enjoying it as he walked along. "This is kinda fun."
"HEY!"
Everyone turned around to see five policemen running past the enraged crowd all five with a nightstick in the air. Everyone sweatdropped.
"Oh, snap," Kratos said.
"Seems like we have to run for our lives again," mumbled Regal, who I just noticed said nothing this entire chapter.
"GIVE THEM CHASE!" Lloyd yelled and bolted top speed away. He was close lined by a cop and fell to his back, moaning on the ground.
"You'll hurt yourself," the cop said.
Zelos pointed at the boy holding his throat and squirming in pain on the ground. "What do you call that?"
"A necessary casualty."
"We hear you've been flipping birds to everyone!" The second cop boomed.
"Flipping birds?" Colette said, confused. "We don't have any birds!"
The cops look at each and laugh uncontrollably. They then settle down and look serious again.
"You're going to jail."
"WHAT! AGAIN!" Zelos screamed.
"Yes."
"WHY!"
"Stop screaming."
"Yes sir!" Zelos saluted.
"Flipping the middle finger is a serious offense. Get in the car."
Everyone against their will except Colette and Lloyd got into the car. Thought having four people in the car was squished? Imagine 10.
"I can't breathe anymore," Zelos whined.
"If you can talk you can breathe," Kratos shot back, already annoyed to his extend.
"CAR RIDE! WHEE!" XD Lloyd yelled blissfully.
"YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!" Yuan also yelled, sitting on Kratos' lap, waving his arms.
"I hate you people," Genis muttered.
"There is not enough room," Raine pointed out. "Some of you get on the floor."
"Not it!" Kratos, Genis, Presea, Raine, and Sheena shouted quickly.
"That settles it. Zelos, Lloyd, Regal, and Colette will sit on the floor," Raine said.
"Ah...shit!" Zelos swore.
"Zelos! Little ears!" Sheena hissed.
"Oh. Shit. Sorry."
"Hey, what about Noishe?" Lloyd said, looking out the window at Noishe. Suddenly the protozoan disappeared. "Holy crap!"
Noishe is back at home. Maaaaybe...nah he's back at home.
"Where are we going?" Sheena asked, tapping the window that connects to the front of the car. The two cops looked back.
"To court," the first one sneered.
"Greeeat."
"We're gonna die!" Genis yelled out unexpectedly.
"Probably," Zelos answered as he began reading Jurassic Park book, which we don't own though would like to. "Chaos theory will over rule us!"
"What's that?" Lloyd asked.
"Well..." Zelos started to explain. If you are familiar with Ian Malcolm in the book, you know how long these can be.
"It's gonna be a long trip," Kratos muttered.
The car drove off...off a cliff! Muwahahahah! Sorry, rewind...the car drove off to court.
Suzu: Major writer's block sucks! Anyway, there you have it. They get their punishment next chapter. (Evil laugh)
All: (Whimper)
Lloyd: WE SHALL LIVE ON AND BREATH EQUALITY!
Silence.
Jet: That was particularly out of the random.
Lloyd: Indeed it was! (Busy fighting chickens and tomatoes...and the chickens and tomatoes are winning) Die evil things, die! Disappear into nothingness! Die!
Kratos: (sighs and drags Lloyd away) C'mon, Lloyd.
Suzu: Yuan won't be a little kid for long! Seriously, can you imagine a chibi Yuan? Kawaii!
Yuan: I hate you.
CRASH!
All: ...huh?
Suzu: What was that?
Zelos: ...!
Suzu: What's wrong?
Zelos: (Muffle muffle)
Jet: I'M GONNA DIE! (Runs past group and into audience)
All: ...
Raine: (runs out too) Where'd he go? He broke my inreplaceable vase from Ascard ruin!
Genis: Raine don't you mean unreplaceable?
Raine: No.
Suzu: Ascard? But that's just a big block.
Raine: No nit picking! Where's Jet!
Jet: (Thinking) She won't find me under this cloak in the audience!
Raine: I bet he's under a cloak hiding in the audience!
Jet: (Still thinking) Damn.
Raine: Jet! Oh, Jet! Come eat this lovely sandwich I made for you!
Jet: Food? (Walks closer) No! Not Raine food! Ew!
Raine: What? It's just a double cheese and bologna with pickles and anchovies and lettuce and mayo and mustard and ketchup and ice cream and pizza crust and potato chips and tomatoes between two very burnt I mean crisp bread. (I search randomly in my fridge while writing this, though I DO NOT have anchovies cause I hate anchovies.)
All: ...
Jet: Ewwwwwwwwwwww.
Raine: (Stuffs sandwich in his mouth. Alright, readers, now is the time to groan with disgust.)
Ziggy: (Appears) Ewwwww-(sees Raine's nasty look at her)-ooooooohhh...
Zelos: (Muffle muffle)
Suzu: Zelos is right, we need to finish this.
Jet: (Somehow recovered from his eating...problem) So finish it.
Suzu: Kay! Well, how did you like it? Did I make you laugh at all? Yay for me! Anyway, the party will see the evil school very very soon...meheh...oh, and thank you for the reviews! They make me feel happy and fuzzy. So...domo arigato! And...will Zelos ever get his voice back? Maaaaybe...
Jet: Look she knows like three words in Japanese.
Suzu: Ja ne! (Laughing evilly) Holy crap, 11 pages...