Chapter Three I Want to be Like Myka
Helena did not sleep well. She was torn between wanting to go back into Myka and staying put, leaving well enough alone. She felt as if she had fallen down the rabbit hole – every time she attempted to talk to her dear friend to explain things, things seemed to get worse. What, she wondered was going on with Myka? If the issue was Myka feeling subordinate because of these damn IQ scores, HG would have to do something. She woke up early, dressed and snuck into Claudia's room. The younger woman woke with a start but that was because HG had her hand over her mouth, gently shaking her.
"Do not scream, Claudia. I need your help, get dressed," she directed more than asked. Claudia's pleas of 'Dude, it's still dark out,' went unheeded and HG tossed her clothes to her.
"What do you want, HG?" Claudia said sleep still thick in her eyes.
"I'll explain it to you on the way to the Warehouse," HG said with urgency.
"HG, it's so early," Claudia complained but it fell on deaf ears. "What about Artie?"
"We will go to the Warehouse while he is on his way here. Come," she said pulling the young charge from her bed. "We can take Leena's car."
Claudia got up and dressed at HG's insistence and was out the door and in the car before she knew it.
"OK, what do you need me for besides driving you at this hour?" Claudia asked yawning and trying to remain focused on the road.
"I need you to get back into those files. We need to find something that I do not excel at or that Myka did better," HG explained calmly.
"What? HG, no. Do you know how hard that is going to be?"
"Of course I do! Finding something I do not excel at will be daunting I imagine but we will have to try. You have to find something," HG said flatly. Claudia was amazed at how she didn't sound arrogant just really self-assured. It made it less offensive.
"Yeah, like maybe something on the humility scale, HG," Claudia trumped her but she drew the glare of those dark eyes.
"HG, I can't hack into those files again. As it is, Artie is going to kill me," Claudia said pulling up to the Warehouse. The two women stepped out of the car and the wind whipped at them as they walked to the entrance. "HG, why don't you close that coat, man, it's freezing," Claudia said but HG uncharacteristically mumbled her response. "You what?" her young friend asked?
"I cannot work these apparatuses," HG said frustrated.
"You invented a freaking time machine but you can't work zippers?" Claudia said laughing and coughed when she met the stare of her subject. "I think Myka can do zippers. Maybe we could use that?" she asked.
The two entered the office and Claudia powered up the computers still protesting that she should not gain entrance into the files again.
"Even if I could access the documents again, what is it that you want me to do?" the teckie asked.
"If you can't find something I didn't do better in than Myka, then I want you to change my number," HG said about her well thought out plan.
"What? Now you want me to alter a file I'm not even supposed to see. No way, HG. Not doing it. I'm pretty sure that comes with some hefty jail time and that might be the better choice when Artie finds out. HG, please, if Artie knows I did this once he's going to have my head. If he finds out I did it twice, who knows what he will do," she pleaded.
Helena reflected on the young woman's concern. She was right. Artie would be hard pressed to appreciate the reason she would be doing this.
"OK, Claudia. I see your point. Then help me find an artifact that will help," HG said as if she was suggesting shopping for groceries.
"Dude, you want me to help you find an artifact? You mean as in the thing we're not supposed to touch?" Claudia tried to point out the obvious.
HG ignored her questions. She was pacing the floor, deep in thought. If she couldn't change the numbers, she would have to do something else. She went to the computer and searched the database for intelligence reducing artifacts. The screen flashed: dunce cap. Aisle 768 Section Y School Artifacts Note Bene: Believed to have been used in England in the 1850's school system to publically humiliate the slower students, this cap is imbued with cognitive reducing properties. Handle with extreme caution.
Claudia watched as Helena copied down the information on the location of the artifact.
"HG, what are you doing? You can't use that. Look! Handle with extreme caution. You are not thinking of putting that on your head, are you?" she asked incredulously. "You're smarter than that!"
"Not for long, my dear. If I can't change the number in my file, than I will change the number in my head," HG said as if it made perfect sense which is the part that scared Claudia the most.
"No! I can't let you do it," Claudia jumped up and stood in front of the doorway to the Warehouse. Helena slowly cast her gaze on the young woman. Her eyes narrowed, her jaw clenched and her voice resonated with a chill that made the temperature outside feel tepid.
"Claudia," came her name in a voice filled with warning, "I appreciate that you think this might be dangerous but I have made up my mind. Now please let me pass or there could be unfortunate consequences the likes of which you 've not come across in your young life," the Brit said.
The teckie felt as if she was being held in that stare. Her mind raced with her options. HG could use that martial arts stuff and knock her out. She could let her through and then zap her with neutralizer if she could find her in the Warehouse. She could wait until she really was the village idiot and then say 'I told you so' or she could do something far more effective.
"OK, HG but don't say I didn't warn you," Claudia said as she stepped out of the older woman's way.
Helena took the piece of paper she had written down the location and walked through the door. Claudia rushed to the computer and calculated how long it would take HG to reach her mark. Thirty minutes unless she tried to use one of the vehicles. Claudia immediately went to the power supply screen and manually cut power to all the carts on the Warehouse floor. Then she jammed the zip line so it wouldn't work. She watched HG moving through the aisles and dialed Myka's cell phone.
"Myka? You better get to the Warehouse right away. You partner is about to do something really stupid. Yes, I mean more stupid than usual," she said.
Myka clicked off her phone. "Uh, Artie, that was Claudia. She said we should get to the Warehouse right away. There might be a problem," she said trying to keep the panic out of her voice.
"Is HG with her?" Artie asked because he wondered why neither had shown up at his meeting.
"Yes, she is," Myka said and with that was rushing out the door. She stopped only momentarily to pick up HG's gloves which she dropped on the front steps.
"I'm telling you man, get her those mittens with the string," Pete said.
Claudia watched with some relief as Myka, Pete and Artie made their way down the umbilicus to the office. Now that she had gotten them there, what was she going to tell them? There was no way out of it now. She couldn't give up HG without giving up herself. "It's time to act like an adult, Claudia," she told herself but when Artie came into the room she instinctively hid behind Myka for protection.
"Oh, hi guys. Yeah, thanks for coming. Myka, I need you to talk a little sense into HG for me," she started in a high sing song voice that gave her away immediately.
"What is going on here?" Artie asked and rushed to the computer to see if the Warehouse was under attack.
"Yeah, Myka I think you should really get to HG now because she's in the Warehouse trying to fix the problem with the score issue and I don't think she's thinking clearly about it?" Claudia said cryptically and Myka was trying to figure out what she was trying to say.
"Claud, how will I help her?" Myka said trying to get the information out without causing any more alarm.
"You know, Myka if you could get down there quickly to this location, I think you could talk some sense into her head," Claudia attempted to give Myka clues but they were terrible ones at best. Even placing her hands on her head in a triangular formation didn't help.
Myka tried like anything to make sense of what she was being told but shook her head at Claudia.
"HG is going to put a dunce cap on her head to lower her IQ so you won't be mad at her anymore," she spilled out.
"What?" Myka, Artie and Pete managed to say at the same time. Now Claudia didn't know who to answer first.
If discretion is the better part of valor, Claudia lost both within seconds. "She's going to put a dunce cap on her head to reduce her IQ so she won't be smarter than the two of you. And probably you, Artie but I wouldn't know that for sure."
"She's going to use an artifact?" Artie yelled.
"How will she know when to take it off? I mean, suppose she leaves it on until she's too stupid to know better to take it off. What is the lowest possible number she could go to?" Pete asked everything that popped into his head. Each question only served to scare Myka more.
"How do I get to her?" Myka asked and Claudia went to the screen and reactivated the zip line. "Your best shot is to use the zip and beat her there. Here's the location. I'll program it in," Claudia said as Myka grabbed Pete to help her get into the contraption.
"Do you want me to go with you, Mykes?" he asked. "You don't know what you'll find out there. It could be like an toddler HG Wells or something." And that is why Myka didn't want Pete coming with her.
She strapped in and waited for Claudia to give her the thumbs up sign through the window. The destination was programmed in and Myka took off. Ninety seconds later, she was closing in on her target. She lowered the cord and swept in and grabbed HG with her legs just as she was about to remove the dunce cap from the shelf. HG didn't know what hit her but she was grasped between Myka's legs, holding on for dear life before she was whisked away until they stopped several hundred feet away from the artifact. Myka stopped the contraption and they dangled about three feet above ground. She was trying to move the handles to position them in closer but HG was wiggling making that difficult.
"Myka put me down!" HG demanded now that she understood what Myka had done.
"Are you crazy? What were you going to do with that artifact, HG?" Myka asked desperately trying to maneuver the handles. "Helena, stop moving. I can't hold onto you!"
"Myka Bering! Put me down this instant," her hanging captive demanded.
"If you insist," Myka said as she opened her legs and dropped her. It was only a few feet but the Brit landed right on her ass. Myka lowered herself and undid the harness and stepped out. She stood over her partner who was still sitting on the floor.
"Myka, did you drop me like that on purpose?" HG asked rubbing her wounded area.
"No, I dropped you like that on your ass because you're acting like one. Now would you care to tell me what you were doing down here?" Myka said and HG was a little surprised she had not offered to help her up yet. She finally put her hand up and it still took Myka a second to decide if she was going to help her or make her tell her what she was doing. Myka gave in and took HG's hand and pulled her to her feet.
"Helena?" Myka said and stood there waiting for her answer.
"I was looking for something," HG said hoping to avoid the inquisition.
"Yes, I know. A dunce cap. Why?" Myka asked.
HG hesitated with the truth but finally came out with it. "I wanted Claudia to find something in the files that I did not excel at; something that you did better at - but she thought that would be hard to do, as did I - so I decided to use an artifact instead - hoping it would reduce my IQ and therefore, you wouldn't be mad at me," HG said as if it were a fool proof plan.
Myka stared at her unsure of where to begin. As usual, mixed feelings rushed at Myka. How was it that she could listen to the self-confident bordering on arrogant, self-assured bordering on self-absorbed, brilliant woman describe an insane but loving gesture and find her infuriating and endearing all at the same time?
"Helena, how long were you going to put the hat on for?" Myka asked with great curiosity.
"Oh, well I was going to do it for a few seconds and then see what the effect was," HG said of her plan.
"And how would you haven known if it were working exactly? What would your measurement have been?" Myka asked as they walked back toward the office.
"Well, I guess I assumed …..," and Myka interrupted with, …."Guess and assume are not words to describe a well thought out plan, Helena." Myka said.
"I expected I would feel differently, more like ….," and then HG stopped because she had a feeling she should be very careful about her choice of words.
"….you would feel more like me?" Myka asked. "And how would feeling like me feel, Helena?" Myka asked waiting for the Brit to do herself in.
"Oh, well it would feel more…it would feel less…. I thought I would feel …..," HG stammered as her explanation crash landed.
"Less smart, Helena? You wouldn't be able to add? You'd lose your accent?" Myka offered possibilities.
"Oh bloody hell, I would not have gone that far," HG said thinking it was a real measurement of just how far her IQ could have diminished. HG could tell from Myka's expression that she was not yet appreciating the extent to which she was willing to go to correct this.
"Myka, do you not understand that I was willing to sacrifice my brain, my mind so that you would not feel threatened?" HG said and as soon as it was out of her mouth, she knew that was not the best way to put it.
"So you were willing to do the ultimate dumbing down for me and you want me to thank you, is that the gist, Helena?" Myka said. She was really trying to sort out the kind gesture from the insult and the lines were getting very blurred.
"I do not know what has gotten into Myka Bering but I simply cannot figure it out," HG huffed.
"Well, thank God I stopped you before you became more like me then or you'd be so incapable of any cognitive thought process, you might not be able to zip your own jacket," Myka said her voice registering her frustration. Helena really didn't care for everyone pointing out the issue she had with the coat.
Helena was totally exasperated now. Here she thought she had the perfect plan and Myka thwarted it. And now she was twisting her words to make them sound offensive. Myka stamped her feet up the stairs into the office, leaving HG to follow. Oh how Helena would have loved to have given Myka a piece of her mind; to tell her that she found her behavior childish and inconsiderate and selfish. And she was about to unload her inner most thoughts on the subject when the sight of Artie gave her pause.
"Agent Wells, would you care to tell me what the hell you thought you were doing with that dunce cap because I am having trouble coming up with a good enough reason to explain that. And I am also having trouble coming up with a reason why I shouldn't report these infractions to the Regents," her boss yelled at her.
Helena looked at him. If Myka, whom she considered to be very bright, did not understand her reasoning, what hope did she have of getting Artie to understand?
Any feedback, comments are always appreciated especially from you guys who know these characters so well!