A/N - So the response to this story, even though it hasn't been updated in a while, has been awesome, so thank you guys for the support. I've been working on this chapter for a while, and while its not as long as I would like, I still think that it gets the point across. I'm trying to write as often as I can but I have to keep up with school and work and right now its physically taking its toll. Please stick with me - and finally, chapter three.

Star Fleet Command didn't make their distrust of James Kirk a secret. Everyone, including the young Captain knew that they were watching him like a hawk. Spock was required to submit weekly reports on Jim's behavior and McCoy had to do the same regarding his health and mental well-being.

So far, Jim had been doing everything perfectly. He wasn't going into things with guns blazing; he took the time, if he had it, to consult his senior officers and take suggestions. Most of the time he would consider what they said, but in the end, they came out successfully and with no casualties. Seven months went before something went wrong.

It was a simple diplomatic mission to the planet Xury that went wrong; many people were surprised that something like this hadn't happened before. Jim and Spock had missed a scheduled check-in and almost two hours had passed since that time. Both McCoy and Scotty were on edge, waiting to hear from the command team.

The Admiralty had been waiting for this moment and even though Jim and the away team weren't back yet, the aging officers were demanding explanations from him and the Chief Engineer.

Scotty and McCoy told them that they had no information and that once they knew what was happening that they would let them know. The Doctor even got some comms from Scotty complaining about Star Fleet Command wanting Jim out of the chair so bad that this mistake was going to get him demoted. He listened to the Scotsman rant, but his mind was on Jim. When he finally got a call saying that they were beaming the away team up, he made his way to the transporter room as quickly as he could.

He arrived just in time to see three people materializing on the transporter pad. Spock was facing them, his uniform torn and shredded. His hands were swollen and bruised, and blood was leaking from hidden wounds and his head. The half-Vulcan met McCoy's gaze before looking at Jim.

The room was silent as those present took in the sight of their Captain. Jim's pants were torn and blood was staining the patches of skin that they could see; his torso was bare and marred with deep gashes and welts. Burns were blistering on his hands and his hair was matted with dirt and blood. His left shoulder was cut open, the muscle visible under the flesh. In his arms was a still body, an ensign that had worked hard to prove himself to Jim. Jim gripped the body to his own, his eyes focused on the boy's face.

The Doctor walked closer to him, his eyes taking in the wounds. "Jim? Where're the others?"

"They're gone Bones."

McCoy looked at Spock who gave a single, curt nod. He watched Spock take the lifeless body from Jim and for the first time, Jim looked up. It wasn't the gashed cheek or split lip that caught McCoy's attention. It was Jim's eyes. The eyes that were normally electric blue, but were now a dull grey. The grey that came with a storm that would destroy anything in its path.

Jim looked at him and fell forward, gripping his arms tightly. "Bones." his voice was cracking.

"Get me a stretcher," he called over his shoulder before looking back at Jim, "I gotcha Jim." he whispered pressing a kiss to his head. Orderlies helped McCoy get Jim onto the stretcher and to sickbay. By the time they made it there, Jim was passed out and Spock was being tended to by Nurse Chapel. He took him into surgery, putting everything but Jim's injuries far from his mind while he mended what he could.

McCoy kept his mind focused and once the gashes and burns were healed he gave Jim doses of a painkiller and sedative. He set him up in a private room before checking on Spock.

"Doctor."

"What the hell happened, Spock?"

The First Officer sat up and straightened his shirt. "We beamed down to the planet of Xury, ready to begin the talks. We were confronted almost immediately; they confined us and took our communicators. They took the Captain and proceeded to harm him." Even McCoy could see the blank look in Spock's eyes as he recounted the tale of what happened to them.

"He would not break, just took what they gave him…until they started taking us. Once they realized I could distance myself from the pain they started on the ensigns. They could not handle the pain. The Captain begged for them to take him back, but they would not. He carried Ensign Johansson once we freed ourselves. The young man died in his arms and then he just went blank. I have never seen the Captain look like this Doctor."

McCoy ran his fingers through his hair, remembering Jim and his tales of Tarsus and leading the kids. How he struggled to keep the kids alive and suffered himself. Not being able to help his men down there had to have taken a toll on Jim. "You're on light duty for two days Spock. I'll look after Jim. I'm taking him off duty for three days, then light duty for another three at least."

"Understood, Doctor." He got off the bed and looked at the Jim's room. "I will come and see him tomorrow."

The Doctor nodded and made his way to Jim's room, sitting down in the chair. He watched the slow and steady rise and fall of Jim's chest, the way his lips contracted when he was breathing. It wasn't often that McCoy got to watch Jim like this; most of the time, Jim fell asleep after and woke up before the Doctor did. McCoy held Jim's hand and just stared.

After a couple hours, McCoy made a decision that some would disagree with; he moved the sedated Captain to his quarters. Being both his friend and doctor, McCoy knew that Jim would be more comfortable and also more likely to talk once he woke up. His vitals leveled out and just a couple hours later, the Doctor heard a soft whimper from the sleeping area.

"Bones?"

"Right here, Jim." He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, gripping Jim's hand lightly.

"I…I couldn't -"

McCoy ran his fingers through Jim's hair. "I know Jim, its not your fault."

Jim bit his lip and forced himself into a sitting position. He just glared at McCoy when he went to protest and pulled on McCoy's arm till he got the hint. The Doctor moved and sat behind Jim, who settled himself between the older man's legs and against his chest.

"They were kids Bones…they weren't even twenty yet." Jim ran his fingers over McCoy's hand and closed his eyes. "I should have just given in, it would have saved them. My men were begging me to save them Bones and I didn't do anything about it. I watched them…watched them…" his voice cracked and McCoy pulled him closer.

"You did your job Jim, they wouldn't have blamed you for that. You took more than either of them trying to keep them safe. You did all you could. Some people, they're just sick Jim." He rested his chin on Jim's good shoulder. "You're a good guy Jim, everyone on this ship knows that you would die for them if you could and you know what?"

Jim looked up at him, his eyes watering but refusing to let them fall.

"All of them would die for you in an instant. This whole ship looks up to you, even Spock." He kissed Jim's cheek and rested his forehead against the Captain's. "We all love you, you idiot."

Jim held onto McCoy's arm and nuzzled into his neck, "Stay?"

"Yeah, I'm staying."

The Captain nodded and McCoy could feel Jim close his eyes, "My Bones." he whispered and McCoy pressed a hypo to Jim's neck gently.

"All your's." he chuckled lightly when Jim growled before he fell asleep. McCoy watched him for a few minutes before he let his head fall back against the wall. He'd regret this position in the morning, but right now he took comfort in watching the steady rise and fall of Jim's chest and the feel of his body against his own.

A/N - And there it is. Let me know what you think!