*Shout out and big thanks to PrimaDoctor for giving me the idea for Steve and Jack getting drunk together*
It's a little after 3 AM.
Jack is sleeping in bed. It's been a week since he's seen Steve. He's awakened by the sound of his cell phone ringing. His hand scrambles to find his cell phone on the dresser beside him. He finally picks it up. He answers it a bit disoriented from just waking up.
*whispering* "Hello?"
A deep, commanding unfamiliar voice answers.
"Hello Jack. This is Nick Fury. You may have heard of me. Commander of S.H.I.E.L.D."
"Never heard of you or this S.H.I.E.L.D."
"That's because unlike your Torchwood team, we're actually a secret organization."
Jack looks confused and insulted at the same time.
"How did you even get this number?"
"Does it matter?"
"Um, yeah. When it's 3 AM in the morning and I'm getting a call from a stranger who-"
"I'm also the founder of The Avengers. I'm sure you've heard of them."
Jack wipes the cold from his eyes and the drool from his lips.
"Oh. Yeah. What do you want?"
"We have an issue concerning my team's Steve Rogers."
Jack is fully awake now. He gets up (not out of bed, but up against the wall).
"What? What's wrong with Steve?"
"I don't know what type of impact your existence has had on him, but he's been in a bit of a tailspin lately. He's been acting a little...off...since he found out you were alive and I'm afraid it's affecting his line of work. How he acts and thinks during missions. His head's not in the game like it should be and if you really have made him this way, I need you to fix it."
"Fix? What do you expect me to do? I can't just get up and hitch a ride to America-"
"You don't have to...he's in Cardiff."
Jack's eyes widen.
"...What?"
"You heard me. Don't ask me why he's there because I haven't the slightest clue. All I know is what my sources tell me and they tell me an American that matches Mr. Rogers' description is at a bar in Cardiff called Buffalo. I need you to sober him up, put him in check, and get his ass on a plane back to America. Now am I clear?"
"I-"
"Good."
Fury hangs up. Jack gets out of bed, revealing a slowly awaking man next to him...Ianto Jones.
"Who was that?"
Jack gets his pants off the floor and puts them on.
"I have no idea, but we need to get Steve out of Buffalo's Bar."
"Steve? Captain America Steve? What's he's doing in Cardiff...and did you say we?"
"Yep. I have no idea. I need you to drive me there."
He throws Ianto his pants and buttoned shirt.
"What? What's wrong with your car? And this is your shirt."
"Mine blew up at the last mission, remember? I would get someone else, but they're all sleeping and since you're awake, you win by default. And I'll take that."
He takes his shirt back.
"So I'm default now?"
"You know what I mean Ianto. I will pay you back big time alright?"
*reluctantly* "Fine. Okay."
Later, Jack and Ianto arrive at Buffalo's Bar in Ianto's SUV. Jack opens the car door and steps out, then looks at Ianto who's still in the car.
"You're not coming?"
"I'd rather wait here if you don't mind."
"Alright. Suit yourself."
"Don't be gone too long."
Jack walks into Buffalo's Bar, which is practically empty, making it easy for Jack to see Steve at the counter rambling to the elderly bartender and anyone who'd listen. The bartender looks annoyed. Steve looks drunk out of his mind.
"Unbelievable." Jack thinks as he walks towards Steve.
"And then I crashed to the bottom of the ocean *makes plane crashing noise* WOOOSSSHHH! Now I'm here!"
As Steve starts singing "Started From The Bottom Now I'm Here", Jack puts his hand on his shoulder.
"I think you've had enough kid."
"HEY! Well if it isn't the ghost of Christmas past! Well, my past anyway! HA HA HA!"
Bartender: "Is this your boyfriend?"
"Why does everyone think...no! I'm just a friend."
"I really don't care. Just get him outta here. He's been scaring away my customers all night."
Steve giggles.
"Ha! Don't mind him! He...he...he he's...he's just...a...um...bartender person. So what're doing around these parts man?"
"I live around here. I should be asking why you're not in America, Captain."
"HA HA HA! I see what you did there! Well, since you asked so politely...captain...he he he...I've had a lot on mind lately and I needed a break so why not come to my favorite war buddy's place. It was a bit late to visit so I came here for a drink...and another one...and another one...and another...he he ha ha..."
Bartender: "War buddy? You two were in the war?"
Jack: "Yeah, a long time ago-"
Steve: Ha! Try WW2 buddy."
Bartender: "I beg your pardon?"
Jack: "Don't mind him. As you can see, this kid's not in the best condition."
Steve: "And stop calling me kid okay?! I'm 90 years old! You don't see me calling you grandpa!"
Bartender looks confused.
Jack: "Um..."
Bartender: "Say no more. I'll leave you two to it. By the way, no matter how much of a prick this guy is drunk, I've got nothing but respect for men who've enlisted."
Jack: "Thank you."
Bartender goes to clean some drinking glasses.
"Ah, don't mind him. He's just...he's...just a..."
"Bartender person?"
"Yeah! You a mind reader too?"
Jack sits down next him.
"I have my moments. You ready to go or you need a minute?"
"Can we talk for a while?"
"Um...sure. Bartender, can I get a drink?"
Bartender: "Sure that's a good idea?"
Jack: "Oh it's for me. Just cut off this guy."
So Jack got his drink...and another one...and another...and for added leverage another one. Him and Steve BS'd for a while. A long while actually. Jack forget Ianto was even outside and why him and Steve were there in the first place. He was just enjoying the prescence of an old friend. They traded stories until Jack said *a little tipsy, but not nearly as drunk like Steve by the way*
"You know Steve, this has been great, but I've gotta know, is there any reason you're coming into bars at night? You're not in a tailspin or something right?"
"Well...know that you mention it...before I found out you were alive, I was just dealing with everyone in my life being...gone. My girl Peggy, my friend Bucky, all my friends were...are gone. I was functioning. Then you come in and all those dead memories came back and it just hurts knowing everyone I loved is gone. It makes me feel...alone."
"Dammit, that's not true and you know that. I'm your friend right?"
"Yeah."
"The Avengers. Those your friends right?"
"Yeah."
"You've met a lot of great people, I'm sure of it and they all care about you. They love you. Don't forget that. You're a great man, great friend, and great soldier. Don't forget that either."
"Thanks Jack. That really means a lot."
He looks into Jack's eyes and plants a strong and sloppy but passionate kiss on Jack.
Jack looks lost for words.
"...What was that about?"
"What? I thought you always wanted to..."
"No...well...yeah...and you're great guy and I wouldn't mind...you know..."
"But?"
"But...for one thing, you're drunk. I'm not sure if you'll have these same feelings if you were sober. Second, there's aready a cute boy in my life. We just started going out not too long ago and I think I'm starting to fall for him. Now I know how you used to feel about Peggy. Third, you're one of the only friends I've had that's lasted as long as this other than The Doctor. I'm not sure if I wanna complicate an already complex friendship."
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
"You ready to go now?"
"Yeah."
Steve passes out on the counter table. Jack picks him up over his shoulder and carries him out.
"It was nice meeting you bartender."
"You too soldier. When he comes to, tell your friend to hang in there."
Jack nods yes.
Jack gets to the car to find a sleeping Ianto. He knocks on the window. Ianto wakes up. Jack waves. Ianto opens the doors. Jack sets Steve in the back and then sits on the passenger side. Ianto looks annoyed as he looks at his watch.
"I told you one thing! Don't be gone too long. You two have been in there for a bloody hour!"
"I missed you too dear."
Ianto smells his breath.
"And you've been drinking! Must have been a regular spoon fest for you two!"
"What's your problem?"
"My problem is you're replacing me with G.I. Joe back there!"
"That's absurd."
"Of course you are! All this time you've spent together lately! All the history you two have! He's an American soldier like you...his looks...that chiseled body...it's like he's bloody photoshopped! I can't compete with that!"
A slight tear comes from Ianto's eye. Before he can wipe it, Jack gently grabs his face and wipes it with his thumb. With his hand still on Ianto's face, he says...
"That's what I love about you. For every difference we have from each other, the more I'm able to fall for you. Like gravity. You're smart, sophisticated, classy...I can go on. I'll be on this Earth forever...but it means nothing if I spend a second of it without you right now."
He gives Ianto a truly passionate kiss on the lips and then a peck on the cheek.
"Now, do you feel better?"
Ianto is blushing.
"Only because you always tell the truth when you're drunk."
A twinkle comes to Jack's eye and a smile across his face.
"I'm tipsy, but I get the point."
"I'm sure you do. That's not the only thing you'll get later."
Ianto winks at Jack. They both laugh.
"Just shut up and drive you big goof!"
Ianto does just that with the biggest grin on his face as he drives back to Torchwood HQ.