Chapter 3: Don Patch Tries to Cook for His Crew

Beauty sat on the floor, looking tired after having mopped the deck of Don Patch's pirate ship for over a hour. She looked over to Bobobo and Don Patch, who were near her trying to make a fire.

"Hey Bobobo, how are we going to make that fireplace?" Don Patch asked stupidly.

"Well you see Don Patch, anyone can make a fire using logs. But what most people don't know is that you can rub a Don Patch against a ship deck and create a inferno!" Bobobo explained as if he was a expert on the whole subject.

"What's a Don Patch?" Don Patch stupidly asked again. Bobobo suddenly grabbed Don Patch and attempted to rub him at the ship deck, which didn't cause anything to happen thanks to Beauty previously cleaning the deck. Except make Don Patch angry.

"BEAUTY, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU INSISTED ON SCRUBBING THE DECKS BEFORE DINNER SINCE YOU KNEW THAT'S WHEN I NEED THE FLOORS CLEAN TO START A FIRE!" Don Patch scolded Beauty.

"Hmph, well excuse me for scrubbing the deck for you. You just have to randomly blame me for everything because I'm a girl, isn't that right?" Beauty asked defiantly.

"Captain, dinner has been prepared." a voice called out, which inpterrupted the argument. Upon hearing this, Don Patch's mood instantly changed to a joyful one as he ran towards a well-made fireplace that was surrounded by a group of Kopatches and a man whom had blonde hair and was wearing a white coat and hat. Oddly enough, they all were holding sticks with a single burnt fish attached to the end.

"YOU MEAN THIS IS THE BEST YOU CAN MAKE FOR DINNER?" Beauty yelled.

"None of us know how to cook, so this is what we eat when there's no takeaway food outlets around." the blonde man told Beauty.

"You know, I kind of feel sorry that you all have to eat like this. Back home I was taught how to cook, so I could help you out if you have any other ingredients." Beauty offered.

"Hold on sister, who do you think you are trying to outdo me? Im the best chef on board!" Don Patch yelled, knocking Beauty down while cross-dressing in a chef's outfit.

"If you can cook, then why have you reduced your crew to eating fish on a stick?" Beauty asked.

"Shut up Beauty." Don Patch said coldly.

"Oh, why do I even bother?" Beauty said annoyed. That said, Don Patch raced in and out of a cabin to bring out and assemble what looked like a outdoor kitchen, then started to race around his kitchen to what looked to be professional as everyone else just stared at him. After a short moment, Don Patch had a large table set out with places for everyone.

"Here, try my clam chowder." Don Patch offered, placing bowls out on the table. Everyone sat down except for Beauty, who didn't trust Don Patch. Apart from Don Patch and Beauty, everyone took a sip of Don Patch's chowder... only to spit it out right back at Don Patch in disgist.

"ARRRRGH! This isn't chowder! It's 2 minute ramen, and it taste like absolute crap!" Bobobo yelled, which made Don Patch carve at himself with a knife.

"Actually, it tastes pretty good." the blonde-haired man lied, as his turned a pale blue as if he was sick. Don Patch threw his knife into the ocean upon hearing this, which strangely caused something to scream.

"As if." Beauty said sarcastically. "Hey, why don't you actually let me do the cooking instead?" she offered.

"Fine." Don Patch gave in. Beauty walked over to the kitchen, mimicing Don Patch's cooking except at a slower rate. While she was cooking, everyone else was leaning over into the sea vomiting, while Don Patch was patting Bobobo's back and only his for some reason. After everyone was feeling better, they turned around to see Beauty had SOMEHOW prepared bowls of clam chowder for everyone. With the exception of Don Patch, everyone gathered around to try Beauty's cooking.

"Come on Don Patch, don't you want to try Beauty's cooking?" Bobobo turned to ask Don Patch.

"After you." Don Patch said evily.

"Well, if you don't eat yours, I will." Bobobo offered.

"Fine." Don Patch agreed.

With that, everyone took a sip as Beauty watched as a nervous wreck. Everyone hesitated for a moment after a single sip, and suddenly devoured the entire chowder with joy.

"That was GREAT! I want some more!" Bobobo yelled out.

"Me too!" a random Kopatch called out.

"You really liked it?" Beauty said in delight as she pointed to herself. Suddenly, Don Patch clinged to Beauty and looked at her with puppy eyes. "I WANT SOME PLEASE, I WANT SOME PLEAE, I WANT SOME PLEASE!!!" Don Patch pleaded.

"Hmmm, as much as you've tortured me today, I can't say no to you." Beauty said with remorse as went over to the kitchen to make Don Patch a bowl of clam chowder, whom was still clinging to Beauty's leg by the way. After a moment of preparation, Beauty handed Don Patch a bowl of clam chowder. But when he ate it whole, he did not feel the same about it as the others.

"!!! IT'S SO, SPICY!!!" Don Patch screamed as he ran around in circles comically breathing fire. Beauty chuckled at his suffering, as she finally had a chance to get even with Don Patch.

While all this was happening, out at sea a boy was spying on Don Patch and his crew while sitting on a large crate floating in the middle of the ocean. From his view, he seemed to eye Beauty with interest.

"Heh, that girl sure knows how to get back at a man, and right through his stomach in that!" the boy said to himself. He had tall spiky hair, small gold eyes, a neck collar, a black shirt with a long sleeved gray shirt underneath it, blue jeans and brown shoes. Suddenly he heard a eerie noise which was coming from above. It was a UFO! The UFO was flying surprisingly to the ground, which was fortunate for the boy as he seemed to be aiming a harpoon gun at the UFO.

"Ok, brace yourself. 1..2..3!" At that moment, the boy fired the harpoon gun, which dug into the UFO. From there on, the boy climbed up to the top of the UFO and managed to sneak into a vent. This UFO was strangely heading towards Don Patch's ship, but it was still far away.

Back at Don Patch's ship, Beauty was staring into the night sky from a window in a small cabin, which Don Patch had given her to sleep in.

"Sigh, it's been a rough day. It all started with a simple argument at breakfast with Chester. From that point on, I just wanted to get out of the village. And then I ended up meeting Bobobo, who's allowing me to travel with him to search for my big brother. Are you still alive, I wonder?" Beauty thought to herself as she sat on the end of her bed. Her thoughts were interrupted by Bobobo barging into her room holding some bottles of beer.

"Beauty, why don't you come and party with Don Patch and the others?" Bobobo offered.

"I'll pass." Beauty replied.

"Look, if it's about me laughing at you while sitting with Don Patch, Im sorry."

"Bobobo, you don't know how much it hurt me. You're one of the only people I've come to respect in my life. I've looked up to you in this one day we've been together. But when you sided with Don Patch, it broke my heart. I wanted to cry."

"In case you didn't know, the clam chowder you made today was delicious. Where did you learn to make chowder that good?"

"I learnt it from my older brother. When I was a little girl, he was the only thing I had. We had to do whatever we could to survive out on the streets."

"Your brother sounds like a very caring person. We'll search for him as soon as we get off this ship."

"Thanks."

"Bobobo! Beauty! Come out and party with us!" Don Patch called out.

"Come on Beauty, have a little fun with us!" Bobobo offered.

"Im worried about Don Patch. I can't really trust him." Beauty admitted.

"Don't worry about him. If he tries anything funny on you, I'll punch him in the face!"

"Alright."

"Then let's go!" Bobobo and Beauty got up and headed outside, where the rest of the crew gathered. Fireworks had been set-up, as well as tables filled with beer. Not to mention utter chaos.

"Hey Beauty." Don Patch staggered over to Beauty, drunk. "I just wanted to ask you what that glowing thingy is in the sky. It's so pretty. Hey, can you go get it for me?" Indeed there was a glowing thingy, and it was heading towards the ship.

"That's a UFO!" Beauty pointed out. It floated right above the ship, and to Beauty and Bobobo's horror, a green alien fell out of the UFO and crashed in front of Bobobo. He immediately got up and pointed a raygun at the heroes.

"Beauty, you're coming with us. Don't resist and I'll give you some rice bean soup to eat during our trip." the alien commanded.

"Wait, who are you and how do you know my name?" Beauty asked fearfully.

"I am a Ochazuke Alien, the last of my species. I like rice bean soup. My boss knows about you and has given me orders to bring you to him. I must not fail, for the sake of all rice bean soup!" Ochazuke Alien explained.

"I will not let anyone harm Beauty. If you want her, you'll have to get through me!" Bobobo told the alien.

"So you think. While you and I were having this plesant coversation, plesant for all the wrong reasons in my case, I didn't have to get past you to get Beauty. Kabeo already did that for me! Mwhahahahahaha! Look up there!" Ochazuke Alien pointed to the UFO, where Kabeo was holding Beauty, who was struggling to get away.

"Bobobo!" Beauty called out.

"Grrr, you won't get away with this!" Bobobo threatened.

"Oh, I think we will. And don't bother trying to catch us, otherwise dire consequences await you and your numbskull friends." Ochazuke Alien boasted while holding onto a rope that pulled him up to the UFO, which began to take off.

"That's it! Hanage Shinken!" Bobobo's nosehairs extended to try and reach the UFO, but it was too far above for Bobobo to reach. Bobobo slamed his fist into the ground in anger that he failed to save Beauty, while Don Patch was too drunk and uncaring to do a thing.

Oh no! Beauty has been kidnapped by the two evil minions Kabeo and Ochazuke Alien! Who do they work for, what do they want with her and more importantly, where are they taking her? And what's Don Patch's thoughts on the kidnapping? Find out in the next chapter!