A/N: To my beloved beta, thank you so much for putting up with me. Without your help I won't be able to post this fic... I love you and cheer up okay? :-)

A/N 2: Thank you so much for the cookies! I really enjoy it and it kept me going! :-) *nom * nom *nom

A/N 3: Enjoy and please take time to read and review :-) I really love reading what my readers think ;-)

Chapter 2

I looked at the mirror as I rummaged through the medicine cabinet on my bathroom. Andrea was out in my bedroom waiting for me to get out with my medicine kit to get her hand cleaned up. I looked at reflection and took in my messy face. I then proceeded to clean myself up and strip myself off with my uncomfortable couture. Not being bothered to redress, I just donned in my robe and headed out the door. "I would never be good enough for you…' 'Let me go before you get burned' her words strung up on me. If anything, I would be lucky to have her in my life. I am aware that I could be a handful. I am after all 52 years old and have two teenaged twins and two sets of divorce papers. But If Andrea would have me; I will never sabotage our chance to be happy.

I went out to my bedroom and saw Andrea seated on my bed. I sat down beside her and sat up the first aid kit. I took her soft hand and started cleaning her wounds. Silence was upon us but it was no where awkward. Once I finished cleaning her wound, I wrapped it up with a bandage. That's when she lifted her other hand to my face. She placed her hand on my chin and lifted my face up.

"I'm sorry" she said with a sad smile.

"It's okay" I said and I took her other hand and planted a kiss on it. We sat there in silence as we looked at each other.

I knew she was drained both physically and emotionally. Not just by that emotional outburst in the dining room but also from the dark path she had led herself astray. So I gently lay on the bed with her. She had her back in front of me and I was hugging her from behind. We had the lamps off and the only source of light inside the room was the streaks of moonlight that passed through the slightly open window. She pulled my arm around her and placed my hand on her chest.

That's when she started to speak.

"I always wondered how your arms would feel around me and I was right into thinking that you would make me feel secured and safe" she said. It felt like she was digging up all her courage to talk and I didn't want to disrupt that so I didn't say anything and just rubbed my hand on her forearm as an answer. "You would like to know how I ended up this way, wouldn't you?" she asked and then without waiting for an answer, she spoke again "I came to New York to be a journalist. I had no idea how big a world there was until I was on my own. I wanted to be a medium of change and against my parent's will, I pursue writing. And I was good at it. But I came to understand that doing what you love isn't always enough to get you though the days. And so I made my way to you. You who I didn't know until I talked to Emily Charlton; You who made my life a living hell on a whim;You who I didn't know seemed to have turned my world upside down. I have changed myself only to win your approval. I became efficient in a job that I never liked but came to love. I was living with someone and yet my heart and mind was with you. I have fallen for you. And then Paris came, and you were getting a divorce and in between that Irv was trying to run you over. I knew that the only way I could help you was to be efficient and be there when you needed me… and I was. You just didn't notice." She said in a shaking voice.

I never understood the point of view of my assistants but I never for once ignored them, especially her. I know that I didn't admit my attraction towards her but god knows I could never ignore her and it pained me to think that she would think that. That's why I had to interrupt "But darling I did notice you…" I said but she stopped me before I could fully formulate my words.

"Will you please let me talk? It's taken me this long to open up and I don't want to let it out in a way that would leave a sour taste in your mouth" She said, still with that trembling voice.

That's when I understood that she just needed me to listen "Yes, Darling do go on…" I said as I rubbed my hand on her forearm in the hope that it would calm her trembling voice.

"What I was feeling for you only grew each day and I knew that I had to get out-of-the-way before you would notice, or before I get myself too drowned in you to pull myself up." She swallowed "And then the James Holt thing happened and you screwed Nigel over. I knew deep in my heart you didn't have a choice and I understood that but it didn't keep me from thinking that one day, I will be of no use to you. And when that day comes, I will be too far down on you to be able to pick my broken self up the ground. This realization came when I was in that car with you. And once I got out of it, I knew I had to make a decision. So I did. On the spring of a moment I made the decision to leave you, Leave RUNWAY behind, and leave the glamorous world you have shown me that I came to love. I packed my things, and flew back to New York." By this time I could feel tears making their way down my cheeks. I was still holding her and she still had her back on me, but I knew that she was also crying. Judging by the trembling voice and the sniffles I hear every once in a while, I knew that she was trying to keep her emotions at bay.

"I didn't make that much money under your employ but I made enough to get me through the first month. If only my ex-boyfriend didn't break the lease on the apartment. My things were already packed on a box outside our apartment and he had already gone to Boston when I got back from Paris. Our friends didn't want to speak to me because I have changed and they didn't like it. Nigel was away in Paris and Emily would have beaten me up with her Blahniks if I ever asked for her help" she said with a mirthless chuckle. But hearing that sound only made it more obvious that she has been through a lot "So there I was in New York, without a home and with not enough money in my pocket. On that first night I just walked around central park thinking of how I ended up in this predicament. I just sat there and before I knew it, I was sleeping on a bench in central park dreaming of being in your arms. The next day, I pulled myself up and tried to set everything straight. I didn't want to go back home and have my parents tell me they saw it coming. So I looked for a cheap hotel, got myself an interview and got hired at the mirror. Finally! I was going to do something that I came to New York to do. I got to write, be a medium of change. But I wasn't myself anymore, and I knew that I never will be. You have taken a part of me with you and I'll never be able to get it back. I didn't have a social life and my pay was barely keeping me alive, the only thing I had with me was a shitty apartment and a Job which I was very passionate about. So to compensate this missing part of me, I just buried myself up to work. But the more I tried to work harder the more I strayed from the path. It's not like I was doing a lousy job at the mirror because God knows I was doing great. I was just not the best, so Greg had to lay me off when the crisis hit." It hurts. It hurts hearing these words spill out of her mouth but I had to endure it. God knows she did. I just hang in there with her waiting for more revelation.

"So there I was again; Out on the streets with barely a dollar on my pocket. I was out on the streets for nearly a week before accepting defeat and purchasing myself a one-way ticket home. The last penny I had, I spent on drinks at Sweet talk. I didn't even know it was a strip club. I got drunk on my last penny and ended up in the bathroom. I was trying to sober myself up by washing my face and changing my clothes… that's when Rafael walked in on me." That's when her voice started to crack her breathing was becoming uneven and I had to reassure her that I was with her. This revelation seemed have revealed an even darker side. It was something that I never wanted to accept that she endured. But she did. And it was breaking my heart. I wanted her to stop talking to just hold her and just leave the world she had built behind. But I had to get through this. For her. I turned her towards me and I had my arms around her. We were so close and yet her eyes were dark and hollow. As if she was not there at all. She had tears falling from her eyes and there was an unfathomable pain inside her that I just wanted to take away. My elbows were leaning on each of her side and I was halfway on top of her but she didn't seem to mind. It looked as if my close proximity was keeping her tethered towards the earth and not completely away from this world.

"I was changing my clothes and he was very drunk and…. To say the least he was not thinking straight… he… he cornered me and kissed me. It's been a while since anybody showed me affection, much less made me feel like I was worth anything. He kissed me but all I could think of was you. What would it feel to kiss you, what would it feel to have you? And then I had to stop. I turned away and he got a little aggressive. I politely rejected him and he got mad. He continued to kiss me against my will and he… he tore my shirt off my body out of range. He…. He forced himself to me… He… he pushed me to the floor and…. My god it was Horrible… I kept yelling at him, begging him to stop but he wouldn't listen. He was very strong and aggressive. I didn't stand any chance on him. After he… after he took advantage of me… he pulled himself out of the haze and I slapped him. I slapped him so hard. I slapped him for the slime ball that he was and slapped him for taking advantage of me. And I just started crying and wailing. He stood up and took a couple of dollars from his wallet and threw it down on me. It could have been hours that I laid there on that cold hard floor. I continued crying and wondering what happened to me. I felt used. Like I was nowhere near clean, as if I deserved what happened to me. I was shaking up badly and the tears would not stop falling. I felt like I was dying, a week without food and only liquor holding my empty stomach up had taken its toll on me. If I had indeed died on that floor my last thought would have been of you. Of how if ever there was a next life, I would make sure that I would end up with you. But I did live." Then all things just came crashing on me. I was crying so hard and so was she. All of the strength that was keeping me up left my body and I just let myself fall on top of her. I embraced her and rolled us over so she was on top of me. I held her with my dear life. It wasn't just she and I anymore. It was us. Two heart sharing one beat.

"The moment I woke up I was in a strange bed. That's when I met Jackie. She was working on the club as a stripper… And she worked for other services too. I told her what had happened and she just let me cry. Later when she got me fed and settled up, she told me that the bathroom I went to was not a public bathroom. It was the bathroom used by the strippers in the club and in his drunken haze; Rafael cornered me thinking I was one of his paid whores. But it didn't make me change how I feel. In fact, it made me even madder that in my drunken haze I had brought this on myself. Jackie kept me for the whole week in her apartment, not for once complaining on what kind of burden I was. And then I became better and I had to work. I had been open to her and she told me that if I would not oppose to it, I can be recruited in the bar. I thought about it all night and came up to one conclusion: I was already used, what dignity had I got to lose. I was already tainted I would never be clean and from then on I would never be good enough for you. And so I started at the club. I hated Rafael so much for taking away a part of me. When he met me I saw that he felt terrible for himself and he knew that I would not be able to forgive him so he just apologized and despite of the sleaze ball he is, he gave me the job. A job that would put food in my stomach, clothes on my back and roof above my head. I was already desperate and it's not like I had anything to lose. God knows I already lost you. At first it was just striping and even though how very degrading it was, I endured it for about a month. And then I just faded. Everything in me just became too dark. The whole place consumed me and I was getting so lost… so lost…. I was so lost to the point that I had sex, drugs, and money on the table. I am used… tarnished… that's why I will never be good for you. And that's why you have to let me go…" she started crying hysterically again. But this time it wasn't just her. It was us. There was the two of us. We were crying. She was crying because the painful recollection made it even more real that she had endured such pain. I was crying because I was conscious that I brought this to her. That somehow I have had a hand on her pain and it killed me inside.

"My darling I am so sorry" I whispered in her ear. "I am so sorry for all the pain I have brought to you" I cried.

She looked up to me "Be sorry for a lot of things" she said. And her words twisted the pain just a little too far. We both know I was at fault somehow. "But don't you dare feel sorry for me that I have loved you. You didn't bring any of this to me. Fate just fed me a little more than I could chew. All the things that happened to me were never your fault. " she said.

We laid there in bed with our arms wrapped around one another. The pain was no longer just hers. It was ours. I looked at her and regarded her with the same love and adoration that I have felt right at the beginning. "I don't care who you are, who you have become or who you will be. I will love you no matter what and who you choose to be. Just let me be here to love you. I know you have been through a lot and I can't say that I can make everything better for you. All I know is that I will always be here to pick you up when you feel like falling. I will be here for you if only you would let me. " I said as I kissed her. "I don't care about your past, all I need is to be in your future" I said as I kissed her passionately.

When I received the piece of paper that contained all of Andrea's necessary information, I never anticipated the events that transpired next. It was as if it was that moment that led me to a life changing event in my life that I would never ever forget. As her lips touched mine, I suddenly became aware of our position. She was already on top of me with her knees on each side of my hips; she was straddling me. She pulled away from the kiss and I took her in. She was there, kneeling on top of me on the bed. We held each other's gazes and I looked at her dull hollow eyes. At that moment I longed to just bring back the life and color in those eyes. I slipped my hand behind her neck and pulled her in for another kiss and our lips met once again. My hands were roaming on her back. As if by doing so, it would keep her relaxed. She slipped her hands behind my neck and caressed my nape which made me moan, this gave her tongue access towards my mouth. That slick and wet muscle invited mine for a duel of domination. Everything about this kiss was just promising and downright erotic. It wasn't just the physicality of it but also the trust that one puts in a simple action. She pulled away once more but I protested and pulled myself up on a sitting position so that her lips would not leave mine. Suddenly, it was more than just sex. Here I was 52 years old, twice divorced and was clasping in my arms at last the goddess of my dreams. From this position I could feel the contours of her body fit mine, as if we were made to fit this way. She pulled away from me as she took hold of the hem of her dress "Don't worry" she said "I've always been safe at work" It took me a moment to understand what she was saying. I know that it was irresponsible of me, but being safe was the furthest thought from my mind. With that, I looked at her with the hunger inside me ready to be sated. She pulled her dress away from her body and I just held her close. She pulled her black lace underwear down and I kissed her once again. She moaned as I trailed my lips down her neck and towards her breasts. The black lace bra was getting in the way and so my hands travelled the expanse of her back in the quest of her closure. With a slip of my expert and dexterous fingers, the closure was unclasped. And just like her defenses, this lacy undergarment slipped down her arm. I wasted no time into latching my lips on her full bosom much like an infant that was deprived of her mother's milk for so long. She arched her back and moaned which urged me to suck on her pebbling nipple. She buried her hands on the mane of my silvery white hair. After sucking on her left breast, I moved my attention to the other. She was moaning non-stop as I gave her pleasure. When I stopped for a while to look at her eyes, she met my gaze. This time even though the dullness was certainly there, her eyes were no longer hollow. This made me believe that there was still hope for her. I pulled her in for another kiss, as if by doing so I would be able to breathe life into her again, bring color and happiness back into those empty and hollow eyes. She blindly trailed her hands onto my front and searched for the knot that was holding my robe together. She pulled away and undid the knot as she gazed directly at me. Once the robe was open, she latched her lips onto my neck which made me moan and arch my back, effectively making me weak and fall back unto the bed. She started lavishing my body with kisses starting from my neck towards my breasts, until she was right between my legs. My breathing was erratic as if I have been running a 3 kilometer race. She took hold of both my legs and spread them apart. I knew for sure that I was wet and soaking through my White laced La Perla. She moved closer to the apex of my legs and I was sure she was able to smell my arousal. She placed tender kisses on my clothed crotch before dragging her wet, hot, tongue through my slit, bisecting the wet scrap of clothing between my legs on the process; making my nether lips visible from its wetness. I started moaning loudly.

"Dear God Andrea!... please…. Please…. Don't tease me… " I begged.

My plead might have affected her because the minute she heard them, she slipped her thumbs on either side of the waistband of my La Perla and dragged it down my legs. She once again spread my legs and placed them on either side of her shoulders. She slipped her thumb and index finger between my nether lips to fully open me up to her. She blew on my clit which made me even more swollen. I knew I was ready for her, I could feel myself dripping with desire as she continued teasing me.

"Please Andrea, Touch me…. I'm ready darling…. Don't tease me…make me yours" I begged. She finally took mercy on me and started kissing my nether lips from one side to the other. And then she licked on my desire with fervor as I felt her tongue on my entrance. "Dear God! Yes! Yesssss!" I said as she slipped her tongue inside of me. I was already consumed. I was right where I wanted to be and I was soaring down the lighted path of pleasure and ecstasy. She then made me scream in pleasure by latching her luscious lips on my clit and started sucking.

"Yes! Yes…. Harder darling…. Suck me harder!" I screamed. She was bringing me closer and closer to the abysses of pleasure. Just when I was almost there, she slipped her tongue back inside me and started sweeping that hot wet muscle inside of me. I slipped my hands on her blonde tresses and yelled in pleasure "Dear God Andrea! Please… Make me cum… make me yours…. Let me cum!" with a long suck on my clit, pleasure and ecstasy coursed through my body, the muscles on my stomach clenched as I came. I was shivering with pleasure and Andrea continued licking me, making sure not a single drop of my cum was wasted, until the aftershocks of my orgasm finally subsided. She came up to me and we kissed passionately on the mouth as we shared my sweet nectar. I would have thought that by the way she greedily licked my juices off of me, that she would not want to share. But had I been proven wrong when she pushed her tongue inside my mouth and slipped a good amount of my nectar inside. I swallowed my own juices as we once again shared a passionate kiss. When she pulled away I gazed into her eyes and for once I was not mistaken, the colors in those eyes have indeed returned. She kissed me softly one more time and traced her fingers down the contours of my lips. Feeling a little naughty, I pulled her fingers inside my mouth and sucked on it. She closed her eyes as I depict pleasure on her features. I played my tongue around her digits and sucked.

"Oh Miranda!" She moaned. I sucked on her harder and pulled her fingers further down my throat. She continued moaning and I continued sucking on her. My mouth was already down to her knuckles when she pulled her fingers away and kissed me instead. I happily returned her kiss but was overthrown by the feeling of those dexterous fingers gently wedging their way down my cleft. She slipped her fingers deeper and was grazing on my clit.

"Dear God! NO! oh god nnnnn… yes! Yes!" I howled in pleasure as I am not accustomed to being a center of ecstasy in a short period of time. My ears were still buzzing from the powerful orgasm she just gave me. But as her fingers wiggled down my entrance, I found myself getting wet and aroused once more. She slowly caressed my entrance and gently pushed inside me. She started picking up her pace and my moans got louder and louder. "Faster darling! Faster…. Deeper!" I yelled in pleasure. She picked up her pace once more and inserted another finger inside me! "YES! YES! More!" I yelled once again. She was down on four fingers and was pistoning in and out of me. With a quick flick of her thumb on my clit, I there again for the second time in the span of 3 minutes; shivering in delight. Before I could even recover, she spread my legs and placed my right thigh on her shoulders. I didn't know what she was doing. Seconds later, I felt her lowering her own core right on top if mine. I never knew that this was possible. She was grinding herself between my legs as I felt our clits meet. I never thought that I would be able to feel every move her hot wet core made as it grinded with mine. Sweat was dripping on both of our bodies as we ground on each other's hips. She then kissed me passionately as she brought us to the abysses of ecstasy. "Yes! Oh God! Faster And…..rea! Faster oh God I'm cumming again!… I'm…." with one long and deep thrust of her hips, we were there "Andrea!"…. "Miranda!"

She collapsed on top of me and I held her in my arms. We laid there on the bed. I felt her heartbeat next to mine and all I could think of was that in this moment I knew we were both happy. She was safe in my arms and I never was to leave her side again. Tears silently made their way out of my eyes. "You have given me the strength to go on… you made me feel your love and suddenly there's a light towards that dark tunnel I had that held secret about myself. I have found myself with you Andrea… and for that I am truly grateful " I felt wet drops on my shoulder. That's when I realized I wasn't the only one crying. I held her so close. "Thank you" she whispered. "Thank you for loving me… and thank you for making me feel alive again" she closed her eyes… and with that I whispered in her ears "I love you"…. and then, I knew no more.

The wide rays of sunrise made its way in from the slightly open window and it grazed my still dazed eyes. I tried blocking away the offending light by burying myself under my pillow. But the scent of sex and sweat on my sheets made me conscious of the things that happened last night… Andrea, The strip club, Dinner, making love…. I pulled myself out of the haze and propped myself with my elbows. I took in my surroundings but Andrea seemed nowhere to be found. I slowly lay back down again and wiped the sleep in my eyes. I turned and ran my hand on the space that Andrea took on my bed last night. It was cold empty. She must have left before the sun was up. I willed to smell her scent from the pillow she had used, and so I lifted my hand in it… That's when I felt a piece of folded paper and something else under it.

Raising the pillow up, I saw the folded paper and a ring under it. I reached for both items and slowly read the content of the paper. Tears started to fall from my eyes again and the world seems to have stopped. She left. Just like that. My heart-felt heavy, as if it was carrying the weight of the world. I felt bare, and hollow. Did Andrea feel this way when she left me on Paris. The pain was too unbearable. I lay back down again and curled myself up into a ball. She's gone. She will never be back. She doesn't want me in her life. That's it. I trembled as I read the letter once more. It hurt so badly. My body shook and my heart trembled. Why did I have to fall for her?! Why did I have to find her?! Why did we have to face the future knowing that we will never be together?! WHY!

With those thoughts in mind, I pulled myself out of the bed and left the folded piece of paper and took hold of the ring. 'Whenever you felt like you didn't have the courage she said. Well here I am now asking for that courage of what I am about to do… forgive me…' and with that, I left the ring on top of the envelope where it rested on the bed that Andrea and I made love in.

Making my way towards the bathroom, I took the bottle of pills I had in the back of the cabinet. I poured all of its content on my palm and looked at it pointedly. "Thank you so much for the memories indeed" I whispered to know one but myself…

What in the world was written on that piece of paper anyway? *hint *hint ;-)

TBC… Please leave me some cookies ;-)