Song for how Alice is feeling in this chapter is All These Things I hate (Revolve Around Me) By Bullet For My Valentine

Another song I like for this chapter is Falling Slowly By Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová


I was starting to feel like the little engine that could, but instead of saying 'I think I can, I think I can' It was more like 'I can do this, I can do this'.

Well, that was what was coming out of my mouth but my brain was questioning what I wanted to believe.

I told Esme I was prepared for what was to come, but in truth I wasn't. I just wasn't ready to see Alice. I wasn't ready for the words I knew she was going to say. I knew she was going to question whether I loved her of not.

I talked with her before about what the family and I were going to do today. Well sort of.

When I talked to Esme this morning before I left Seattle she told me that Alice was going to be beyond angry with us and that I just couldn't take what she says to heart. I was just praying that she would understand that we had no other choice.

I couldn't even make myself get out of the car when I pulled up to the house. I was just glad that everyone was already here. I wasn't sure if Alice even knew I was coming home today or that Lucy was with Bella. I didn't know if Alice would be happy about me leaving her with Bella or not but I knew she would get the hint when I told her I left her in Seattle.

The only person we knew in Seattle was Bella.

I slowly got out of the car trying to put of as long as possible what I knew would probably be the end of me and Alice. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.

As soon as I walked in the front door I could here my family in the other room talking in quiet whispers. When I got to the kitchen where they were all gathered around the dining room table I instantly could feel the tension in the air. "Hi"

Esme came right over and embraced my in a warm hug. "She's upstairs." I nodded my head at everyone before heading towards Alice and Is bedroom.

I wasn't sure if I should knock first or just walk in. I opted for the first option considering that was probably the best choice at the time, I didn't want to scare her.

"Come in." I heard her musical voice ring out and I was happy to here she didn't sound like she was in to much of a bad mood.

"Alice." I said peeking in first. She was laying on her back in the middle of the floor with her eyes closed and her hands behind her head. "Ali" I said again.

"Where's my daughter?" She said harshly after realizing I was alone.

I looked down shamelessly and figured I might as well get this over with. "She didn't come."

Alice closed her eyes and turned her head towards the ceiling again. "Where is she?" It didn't come out as harsh as before.

"She stayed in Seattle." I kept my eyes on her to see if it registered who I left Lucy with. She never opened her eyes but I could tell it dawned on her when her face went from anger, to sad, and than hurt. "I'm sorry Alice, but there is some stuff we need to seriously talk about before you see Lucy."

"I can't believe you Jasper. How could you keep my daughter from me and not to mention you left Lucy with her. Why would you even waste your time coming back here?"

"Because Alice, I wanted to see you, I wanted to see if you were okay."

"Are you stupid." She was yelling so loud I'm sure her family could here us. "How could I be okay, My boyfriend up and left me and took my daughter with him. And than he has the nerve to show up, without her I might add, no, he had to go and leave her with my ex best friend so he could drive three in a half fucking hours just to see if 'I'm okay'. So, Jasper, do you want the answer to that. Well here it is for you. Why don't you FUCK OFF."

I just sat there stunned. Not that I didn't expect any of what just happened, mostly because I almost expected her to punch me and she didn't, she just stormed out of the room slamming the door behind her. So far so good.

"Alice." I yelled trying to catch up to her. "Alice, come on, can we just talk about this, please." As soon as I got down the stairs I automatically stopped in my tracks. I wasn't expecting them so early.

"What the fuck is this." Alice sneered from besides me. I looked around to the faces of my family and could see all the sympathy they held for me.

"Alice."

I tried to reach out for her but she pulled away. "Don't touch me!" She wasn't yelling anymore but I could still feel the venom that was behind her words.

She started to walk towards the front door but was stopped by Emmett. "Not this time."

Alice just stood there, she knew there was no way of getting around Emmett no matter her how small she was.

"Alice, you know police Chief Swan." Esme stated but I wasn't sure if Alice was acknowledging her or not. "And this is Dr. Carson, there here to help us talk to you, and than……."

I guess Alice was listening because she was more than eager to interrupt. "I know what the fuck there here for." She turned to face me. "You promised." I could see the sadness in her eyes. I'm not sure if it was because she knew she had no choice or because she felt betrayed. I didn't want her to think I was turning my back on her.

"I have to take my promise back and I'm sorry for that but I also promised I would help you and this is the only way I know how. It's the only way left."

"I can't do this, I got to get out of her." She started to sprint towards the back door but I was faster, I pulled her arm to stop her. "Can't you just leave me alone. Its not like you care anyways." She spat out.

I ran my hands through my hair, I knew she was going to question whether or not I cared. "Alice, I do care or I wouldn't be doing this, we all care. And I know for a fact there is a very special little girl that more than cares." I was getting a little upset, I wanted to yell all the things that were on my mind. "God Alice, I wish you would talk to me. It kills me to see you do this to yourself. I don't think I have seen you shop in over a month. What happened to my Alice, the one that thought my opinion was everything, the one that use to tell me all her secrets……….I miss her Ali, I want her back, we all want her back."

She turned around to face me with tears in her eyes. "I don't know who she is anymore."

My heart broke with her words. I knew she knew it was time for her to get better. She knew this was the only way.

I pulled her into my arms and just held her while she cried. "I know who she is, I never forgot who she was."

She was crying so hard her knees started to give out and we both slid to the floor. I turned to look at Carlisle without taking my hands of Alice. 'Is she okay' I mouthed. He nodded, I was thankful he wasn't going to have to sedate her. "It's going to be okay, your going to be okay." I whispered into her ear.

I sat there with Alice on the floor with our family all around us until she fell asleep. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to let her fall asleep but I was enjoying what little closeness I had left with her for awhile.

"Why don't you go lay her down upstairs Jasper, we still have a lot to discuss before they take her to Lakeview." I nodded and easily picked her up in my arms.

"Jasper, you did really good with her, and didn't loose your temper…..to much." My sister pulled me into a hug when I got back down stairs.

"I just dont want to loose her Rose, not to this, not to anything."

"You won't"

I talked with Dr. Carson about rehab and what it's going to be like for her. I knew she wasn't going to like it, definitely not at first but I really felt she was going to meet people there that could help her, people that were going through some of the same stuff.

Dr. Carson reassured us that there has been worse cases than Alice and that just by watching she can already see some of the things Alice might need help with. I was amazed that just by watching for an hour she could understand anything. She also wanted to make a time she could talk to me and me alone.

I was a little scared when she said that, I think she could tell because she immediately said it was just for caution and to find out a little about Alice and her family from someone's point of view besides Alice's.

When I was finished I went up stairs to check on her. She was still laying in the same position I left her. Curled up in a ball in the middle of the bed.

I laid down next to her and pulled her into my arms. I stayed there and stared at her thinking about everything we have gone through together. I still couldn't stop thinking this was my fault. Somehow the drinking had to be my fault, maybe she didn't think I loved her enough, maybe she thought I ruined her life by asking her to keep our child. Whatever it was, I was going to find out soon.

As many times as I tried to let go of her, I always seem to be right back here. Remembering why I loved her in the first place. Remembering the hyper, pixie of a girl I fell in love with.

"Hey there." I said to Alice when she opened her eyes.

"Hi." She whispered.

"I hope you know how much I love you, Alice, I will never stop loving you."

She gazed into my eyes and I could see her questioning whether or not I was lying. It hurt to think she didn't believe me. "What's gonna happen to me?" The tears started to fall again.

"Well, you'll go to detox at first, and than you'll see a few doctors, and get on medication to help you and than you'll be fine." I tried to comfort her and let her know things would go back to normal.

"What if I'm not fine, what if I can't get better."

I put my hand under chin and pulled her head up so she could see into my eyes. "You will. Alice, you are the most determined person I know, you can do this."

"I'm scared Jasper, I don't want to loose you or Lucy."

"I know baby, your not going to loose us. Not now, not ever. I love you." I leaned down to give her a chaste kiss on the lips. I wanted more but was afraid to deepen it for fear it would lead to other things.

This is how it always was with us. We were madly in love and no matter how much we hurt each other we went right back to were we started. Nothing could break us apart.

I knew the second she was better our life's were going to change for the better. I was going to make sure of that.

After staring into each others eyes for what felt like minutes but was actually an hour, I decided it was time to stop putting of what had to be done. I squeezed her hand as we walked down the stairs. I wanted her to know how much we cared about her. And that she wasn't walking into the end but the beginning. I wanted her to know she wasn't alone and that I would be with her every step of the way.

When we got down the stairs the whole family was there waiting. I pulled away from Alice so that they could all say there goodbye's and encouragements. It hurt to watch everyone of my family in tears. Even the big Olaf that was Emmett had tears in his eyes.

The thing that got me the most though, was the way Carlisle embraced his daughter. I can't even begin to imagine going through this with my daughter. It was hard enough having to watch Alice go through all the pain she was going through. Granted, I wasn't sure what that was, but I could see in her eyes there was a reason for her drinking.

"Alice, you are and always will be my little princess. Don't forget that. There is nothing you can do to make me stop loving you. I want you to go get better for me okay." Alice nodded at her father and I now couldn't stop the tears that were spilling over my face.

She said goodbye to the rest of her family saving me for very last.

By all means I was not ready to tell that girl goodbye.

"I don't want to say goodbye." The very words I was thinking fell from her mouth.

"I wish I knew the right words to say to you." I held her face in my hands. "I want you to know how thankful I am for you, and that I thank god every day I have you even the days when I feel like I could kill you." I was happy to here a laugh through all that crying. "Alice, I went away because I couldn't handle Forks, because I couldn't handle watching you drink yourself to death, because I couldn't handle the way you would look at me when you were drunk, the look of pure hatred. Ali, I didn't leave because I didn't love you, I want you to know that." I kissed her on the forehead. "Go get better Mary Alice."

I knew this wasn't goodbye forever but it sure as hell felt like it. I didn't want to let her go and I knew she felt the same. God, I was terrified to let her go, I was terrified of what was to come, most of all I was terrified for her. "Call me as soon as you can okay." She nodded, the tears in her eyes still prominent. "I love you."

"I love you to." I smiled, she didn't say it very often but when she did it came from the bottom of her heart. "Wait for me."

"I will wait for you forever."

A/N: The big AJ confrontation, well one of them anyways. Hope it met expectations. Thanks to those of you who take the time to review.