The following week, I'm sitting in social studies class, listening to some 60 something year old man drone on about something that happened to a country I've only been in for half a month. Isn't he just reading out the book? Man, I'll just read these pages later. Resting my head in the palm of my right hand, I tilt my head past the rows of other students to see if I could get a peek at Kawashima. I can just barely see her head facing the window, she's likely not listening to whatever this guy is saying either. An aura of uneasiness manifests around me, like a dark cloud formed over my head. Why am I so worried about talking to her? Given the last two times we spoken you would think it be as simple as walking right up to her. But I haven't been able to even feasibly come up with a simple idea of talking to her without feeling awkward. She hasn't talked to me since I...ran from her. I have no clue if she knew she was made, or she's already lost interest in me. Both outcomes seem likely, both outcomes would be terrible if they're the truth. And it doesn't help that I burned my free token with the group by asking they forget about trying to match us up together. After what happened when we first met, something on the inside just told me whatever they tried would just backfire on them and me. No, I need to figure this out on my own.
The lunch bell rings, and my stomach erupts in a ferocious anger at its master. Hey don't get mad at me I didn't bring food. How about you teach me how to cook some of our groceries into an edible shape? Scanning the room and seeing everyone move their desks into position to begin gorging themselves on delectable, tummy filling, food fries my synapses for a moment. It's been so long since I've had food that wasn't ramen or junk food...
"Goodness, you look worse than I thought." I hear Takasu mutter as he approaches me. He's holding what I assume is multiple boxed lunches. I lazily stare at him and scoff,
"What, did y'all come here to do a show and tell off your food in front of me or something?"
"Actually, I made a lunch for you." My eyes brighten instantly.
"Yeah I noticed you never really ate anything during lunch. I thought you'd get something from the vending machines after a few days but I guess… you'd rather not risk that again. I felt bad about you sitting over here starving so I decided I'd help you out."
A pang of warmth burns slightly in me. "Wow Ryuuji, uh, thank you, a bunch, I appreciate it." I tell him. He unwraps a single boxed lunch and sets it on my desk. I open it up and my senses are immediately bombarded. The aroma of different types of spiced beef and fish smother my nose, and the sight of white, fluffy, not gross looking rice is tantalizing. Before I begin to possibly make a fool of myself scarfing the food down, Takasu mentions,
"Hey, why don't you come eat with us? You haven't spent a single lunch break with us." Holy crap he's right. I usually just sit in this corner and sleep.
"Oh, sorry, I'd be glad to join you!" I place the lid back on the bento and Takasu and I head back to where the rest of the group already had their desks in formation facing one another in 4x4 fashion. I grab a nearby desk and slap it together near theirs. Everyone gives me a welcoming smile, even Aisaka, which is more than surprising. Sitting down, I smile back and apologize.
"Sorry for not sitting with you guys until now. I'm not really much of a group person, and I didn't want you guys to get sick of me too quick."
"Don't be silly dude, we'd never get sick of a newcomer!" Minori exclaims in her usual cheery self.
"We're friends man, you should never have to worry about something like that." Kitamura reassures. I grin at him and look across from him to Aisaka, who's giving him the most longing look I've ever seen a person give. She must've noticed I noticed her since her face just squished into a pout when her eyes darted to mine. I open my bento again and retrieve the chopsticks packed with it. Pulling them apart, I remember almost instantly. Oh wait, I don't know how to use these. The group starts having idle conversation, and not wanting to interfere with the flow to ask what I'm supposed to do with them, I begin my methodical process of stabbing each individual piece of meat and discreetly insert it into my mouth.
"Hey Ryuuji, how come yours and Taiga's lunches look so similar?" I hear Kitamura inquire. Stab. Lift. Munch.
"Uh, no reason…" Takasu mumbles in response.
"Yeah! They're like, almost the same!" Minori points out. Stab. Lift. Munch.
After carefully avoiding the gazes of my friends, I find myself sated and energetic. It's as if I forgot about an issue I was fixated on… oh right. Kawashima. I haven't told anyone what happened two weeks ago, and how I potentially messed up everything. I've been pretty good at avoiding her for so long, though it certainly hasn't helped me get closer to her. Honestly, I have a hard time believing she even had any sort of interest in me. I can count on half of my fingers on one hand how many girls have ever had a crush on me, and it's less than one and no more than zero. I look at Ryuuji and then to Minori. I had picked up not too long after my talk with Minori that he's the one she's in love with, and Ryuuji's mannerisms around her seem to confirm my suspicions. But even he's able to somewhat talk to the girl he likes on a regular occasion. I've been double taking and ducking behind people for days now because the sight of Ami just sends my heart into palpitations. The thought of my insecurity forces an audible growl from me. Man, I need to stop acting like this. I can't expect her or anyone else to push me into this, I need to be confident in myself that I can go up to her and hold a conversation. Pushing myself from my desk, the group stops conversing about whatever they were talking about to flip their head in my direction.
"What's up, you goin' somewhere?" Kitamura asks.
"You could say that. You guys see where Kawashima went when the bell rang?"
"She probably went to her doghouse again." Aisaka jests. Right, let's do this now. I'm gonna go right up to Kawashima. I'm sick of hiding from her. I nod at Aisaka and everyone else and prepare to find my hopeless crush. Fate decided on something else in that split second. As I exit the classroom and rush to find Ami, my excitement causes me to trip over my own feet like I'm in a bad horror movie, just as someone else is coming through the door in a quickened pace. In what seems to be a trend, I find myself free falling to ground once more with no time to really comprehend what is happening, except that there's another human being falling backwards below me. The best I can do before colliding with the person is to lean myself ever so slightly to the left and hope for the best.
F-K. My landing was harder than I thought, tile flooring doesn't do the bones any favors. I raise myself to a sitting position. God, I think my knee hit something in really wrong way too. Ugh, at least I didn't fall on the- oh god it's Ami. Kawashima is already massaging the point of impact with the floor, grimacing. Her eyes turn to me, and I receive the most unholy death stare I've ever seen. Before I can say anything, a group of students has already poked their heads out of the room to see what the crash was. Even out of sight, I can hear Aisaka howling in laughter from the room, like someone just told her the best joke in the world.
"What the hell, don't you watch where you're going?" Ami grunts at me with a hostile tone. Standing up, my urge to profusely apologize to her rises as I see her vulnerable on the hallway floor. However, instead of begging for forgiveness, my first concern is making sure she's alright, and getting her off this dirty floor. I extend my right hand to her and smile at her. Ami is not amused, which only makes it more amusing to me. She just continues to fume at me passively aggressively.
"Are you gonna get up from down there, or you fine with getting covered in dirt?" I joke. Face still fixated on mine, Ami reaches up and grasps my hand. I pull her to her feet and I can hear the "bitch" attempt to escape her voice again.
"Geez, what's your pr-" She starts, but is also just now noticing all the other students who decided to see what the commotion was. Like a lightswitch, her death glare transforms into a goofy looking smile. She clasps both of her hands together on mine and laughs.
"I am so, so sorry for bumping into you like that. I wasn't thinking about where I was going and I got in your way, that was totally my fault!"
"Don't worry about it." I assure. "I wasn't looking either so I'm partly to blame too. You're not hurt right?"
"No no I'm-" Ami waves her hands in dismissal but then she pauses. A slight frown forms on her lips. "You know, I think I may have hurt something on the way down." Her eyes flutter and she tugs at my hand. "Would you walk with me to the nurse's office? Just to be sure?" I dart my eyes left and right to see other students whispering to one another while staring at us. No doubt if I were to refuse Kawashima right in front of all these kids, it'd be social suicide. My eyes squint for a moment. She gives a smirk in recognition but otherwise keeps her deceitful facade up.
"...sure. I'd be glad too." Ami leans on my arm and giggles as she leads me down the hall. I give my best fake laugh in return and plaster the best smile I can muster for Kawashima. The hushed whispers of students begin to fade away as we move away from the site of the incident. I have a girl on my arm right now and it is not how I envisioned it to be. We round a corner at the far end of the hallway to what seems like a deserted area. The moment I realize we're alone, I stop moving, I breathe a sigh and tell her,
"Alright, you don't need to keep it up if you don't want to."
"Whaddya mean...Dommy?"
"Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure you're messing with me." I jeer, blowing a raspberry at her.
"..." At this point, Ami releases her grip on my arm and places her arms behind her back before giving me a bored look.
"I was hoping to get a little more out of you for a while longer. Pretty dumb of me honestly." She's obviously not amused.
"I really don't get why you need to act like that in front of everyone." I tell her flat out. Kawashima twirls the end of some her hair before saying,
"Well consider yourself halfway intelligent if you were able to see through it. Though I get the feeling someone... 'else' had to tell you and you fell for every second of it when we first met." She flashes a devious smirk.
I frown at the thought of that day. Not the best look for the person you're crushing on I guess. "So what's your deal, why were you storming through doors like someone stole something from you?"
"It's...I, just wanted to…" I mutter out. Kawashima snickers to herself when I say this, and hint of blush hits my cheeks.
"Having a bit of trouble there?", she teases.
"Geez, if you really wanna know, I was...looking for you. That's why I was rushing." I elaborated. This makes Kawashima look back at me with a curious look.
"Why'd you wanna find me?"
"Well, uh, I just wanted to talk is all. Nothing in particular." She doesn't look convinced, as is evident from her dull expression. God, does nothing get past this girl?
"Nope. Try again." Ami sticks out her tongue. Guess not.
"Ok look, I've been avoiding you for the past few weeks… mainly because…."
"You've got a little crush don't you?" Kawashima remembered. I can feel my heart attempt to jump out of rhythm.
"...well, if that wasn't immediately obvious from the get go then I'd be surprised." A smile grips my lips as I speak. "But uh, a little birdy told me some of that, mayhaps you might have a crush too?" The idea of me saying something like that to someone is crazy but from the look on her face as it crunches into a scowl, I feel like I stuck a nerve. That did it.
"I don't know what you're talking about. Surely you aren't implying that I'd be interested in you?" My heart beat starts to rise exponentially.
"Kushieda may have told me..." I slowly say. "That a couple weeks ago you may have… been seriously flirting with me?" She doesn't say anything in reaction to that, causing me to tense up even more.
"Well, I gotta ask. What's up with the whole… ya know, fake act thing?" Ami's scowl disappears and changes to a defeated frown. "Regardless of whether or not what she said was true, I'd be more willing to know a person who didn't try hide themselves in plain sight like you." I finish.
"Then you're an even bigger idiot than I first thought." Kawashima growls at me. "I doubt anyone would want to bother with me if they knew that this is how I normally was. It's much easier to just keep the mask on and play the role." I grasp for a rebuttal, but for some reason, I can't find a good dispute to fight it. She picks up on my lack of words.
"You know what that feels like don't you? To have to hide yourself from others?"
"..." I give a slight nod. She's 100% on the mark. I think back to the way I was, the way I AM. But I'm trying to change myself, and make sure that unsavory part of me doesn't become the dominant part of me.
"Then why is it wrong when I do it?" She continues. "People see me, they recognize me and assume I'm Little Miss Sunshine so I just play to their fantasy. Better than everyone seeing you for what you really are…" This time I'm the silent one, as I have no understanding of what Kawashima must deal with on a daily basis in order to force her to act that way. I close my hands into fist, feeling especially stupid for how this how went down.
"We're not so different are we, Dommy?" Kawashima jeers at me.
"You seem to think you know a lot about a person you've spoken to like, what, three times?"
Ami shrugs. "Maybe you should try being less easy to read."
"Touche."I sigh in failure, considering my whole plan has backfired, but then I start laughing at the hilarity of the situation I'm in right now, being mentally stripped down like she's known me for all her life. "Just so you know, even if you do keep throwing on the mask and pretend to be someone you're not, you don't need to worry about me hating you for it." I face her as she leans on the window overlooking the courtyard. "I only wish you felt comfortable enough to show your real self around others."
"...well. Now I feel comfortable around you. Hardly anyone around here is interesting enough to bother with. Not like you. "
My eyes widen for a moment and I have to hold back a smile, "Oh, was that a flirt I just heard?"
"Of course not, just an observation." Ami corrects, even though the quickness of her response and body language betray her words. "Though... I wouldn't mind seeing more of you around."
I jump in place, my excitement unbridled and visible as I can't help but beam at her. She sticks her tongue out at me and gives a soft smile. This smile though, isn't cloaked in a lie or filled with deceit. I can feel genuine warmth coming from Ami right now.
"Just one thing though." I tell her as slow my excitement for a moment.
" And what's that? " She chimes back at me.
"N-no more of that Dommy stuff. Especially in front of other people."
"Heh, 'aww why not Dommy?'" Ami mocks. "I actually think it's cute."
"Ah. Well. Then...Dommy it is." I stammer out of my mouth.
"Fufufufu." Ami slowly struts towards me and backs me to the wall. Whoa, whoa personal space! When I'm literally up against the wall, Ami puts her hands on both my shoulders and presses her face within inches of mine. "You're mine now, Dommy…" I almost find myself literally enchanted by her deep violet eyes, like she's actually casting a spell on me. My body has already stopped responding to any sort commands, and while I want to fight it and break free from her… why would I? As I stand paralyzed in front of one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen, she begins giggling to herself, releasing her grip on my shoulders and steps away from me with a light smirk. Damn c'mon... I take a deep breath and recompose myself before forcing a response out.
"Ok uh. It was… really nice chatting with you again Kawashima." I say. She looks at me with a satisfied grin.
"Ami. Ami-chan if you want. I don't mind." She bluntly corrects as she gives me a suggestive wink. First names already? Yessss. "And, before you go… I'm sorry, about tricking you when we first met. If I knew what I know now, I wouldn't do that to you again." She stops speaking, distant frown on her face and brushes past me, silently.
Taking note of...that, I saunter my way in the direction of homeroom, round the corner and head back to the classroom, a feeling of lightheadedness overtaking me for the remainder of the day.
Not too much homework this weekend is a plus I guess. Switching my shoes out in preparation to head home, the feeling of happiness that consumed me earlier is replaced with subtle anxiety. The best I can do to ignore it is keeping my mind focused on other things. Even though the thought of Ami makes me blush like a little schoolgirl. No, cut it out. You can't think like that. Don't let her dominate your thoughts. That's just what she wants. But it's what you want too right? Damn it inside thoughts! I can't even confide in you for advice. Whatever, let's just get home. Exiting the school's front entrance, I make note of how perfect of a position the school is to catch the sun setting, giving me something just a little spectacular to look at on my way out the door some days. Definitely don't get these views that often at home in the states. Beautiful. Definitely as beautiful as...Damn it man! Shaking that thought out, I retrieve my phone and open my contacts. It took awhile but I finally worked up the courage to get everyone's email address during lunch. Ugh…I'll never get used to calling that. Everyone's email sans Ami's. I didn't avoid her today after our conversation, but at the same time I didn't really find the best opportunity to ask her for it. My best chance would've probably been when we were talking but I was sort of in a euphoric state of joy at the thought of her wanting to be friends with me in the first place. The chance will probably present itself again soon. I try to ignore the chilling breeze that wafts around my exposed face, since I'm too lazy to find my scarf in my pack right now. Eyeing the small pockets of students roaming around the courtyard, I don't even notice Kitamura approach from my blindside.
"Hey Dominic!" He greets. I turn to say hi but notice what looks like a red armband on his upper arm. And even though I know it's not what someone would immediately think it is, I still feel the urge to ask him what it is.
"Oh, it's pretty much our badge for members of the student council."
"I completely forgot you were part of the student council to be honest."
"Yep, vice-president to be exact." He says matter-of-factly.
"I've been...uh…'missing' the past few student assemblies so no wonder that fact escaped my mind." Kitamura's eyes widen and he gets noticeably worried.
"I wouldn't try doing that anymore, people still see you as the 'transfer' so you stand out in that respect. No doubt, Kano has caught on to the fact you haven't shown up to any of the assemblies."
"...who?"
"Eeeh, she's our student council president. She's a wonderful person, but there is a bad side for you to get on."
"I'm not too bothered by it." I reassure him. "I haven't been randomly attacked by anyone since I first got here, and the sliding scale of Murphy's Law has been working in my favor so far."
"I dunno, she's been asking about you during the meetings, wondering why she hasn't met the new transfer student. Kano's a tenacious one too, so I wouldn't put it past her to track you down if she wanted to." My bravado can't hide my discomfort at the thought of being hunted like a woolless sheep.
"Anyway, you didn't tell me what happened after you and Ami crashed into each other during lunch today. Come to think of it, you sorta just acted like it didn't happen when you came back. We were all sorta confused when you came back and just sat down without a word."
"I dunno man. The emotional high I was on was too great for me to share it with anyone else at the time." I grin. "Though if it wasn't obvious, it went stupidly well." Kitamura smiles at my statement.
"I think I'm gonna start making my way home." I yawn. "Gonna probably job search for a bit then catch up on lost sleep." Yasaku waves his hand and apologizes,
"Oh don't let me keep you man. I'll catch you next week sometime." I give him a nod and rotate to leave through the main gate. Before I even make four steps away from Kitamura, a cacophonic voice booms at me from across the courtyard.
"AND JUST WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING NEW BLOOD?" You gotta be kidding me. "YOU CAN HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" My legs lock up and I go rigid throughout. My eyes are fixed on the gate out of here. Maybe I can make it? It wouldn't help me out in the long run but at least I'd get away for a while. Maybe my face isn't well known and I haven't been made yet?
"TURN AROUND NEW BLOOD." The voice bellows at me. Nope, no escape. No return crystal, no lifeline. Slowly, I pivot myself around towards the source of the yelling. I lay my eyes upon what appears to be...a girl? Any student that was still out in the courtyard at the time is now dispersing as fast as they can, ending conversations abruptly to escape her. She swaggers her way up to me, megaphone in hand. It doesn't take long for me to put two and two together. Oh, so this is Kano. Scanning her up and down as she approaches, I note her long, dark blue hair and eyes, almost uniform in color. She doesn't have the friendliest face as she approaches me, her brow furrowed and eyes hardened. Kitamura stands at attention when she reaches us, but I just stand dumbfounded. Kano smiles at him and orders, "At ease", before focusing her attention back on me with harsh eyes. Holy crap, I am actually fearing for my well being right now like she's just going to...break my arms in a burst of speed. Kano studies me up and down intently for a short time before finally saying something.
"Huh, you're shorter than I expected you to be." Given the fact that me and her seem to be equal height, did expect me to a giant or what? I think the most noticeable thing about her is that gruff, almost adult sounding voice she has. It's like being accosted by an older woman. "I haven't been seeing you at our assemblies new blood." Uh oh. Kano smirks when she detects my hidden distress. "I want to start seeing you at every single one from this point on." I nod in response.
"Good," she goes on. "You look at little rough around the edges, doesn't help you're not from here...where are you from again?"
"Uh. The U.S." Her eyes light up for a moment at the mention of that.
"Interesting...at any rate, I don't want to hear about you skipping another one of my assemblies, got it?" She pierces my brain with her gaze, almost making me forget to respond.
"Yes. Ma'am." I apologize. Kano laughs and pats me on the shoulder before facing Kitamura.
"Thanks for tracking him down for me." After that, she retreats back to...wherever the heck she appeared from. Kitamura turns to me and shrugs right when I give a "Dude what the f***?" look to him. Without any words, I throw my hands up in exasperation and make my way out of the school courtyard. Oh yeah, I can hear home calling me a mile away.