Lucas lay in his bed staring at the ceiling, his hands tucked behind his head. The whole event of the day kept replaying in his head. He still felt a little dumbstruck by all the revelations of today. He still felt amazed by Brooke. He wondered how had Brooke kept such a huge part of her life hidden for such a long time. How was it possible that Peyton never knew about it. They seemed to be spending all their time with each other before all the fiasco. How did Peyton miss it??... Didn't she make efforts to know her best friend??... And more importantly was Lucas solely to blame for the ruin of their decade long friendship

Lucas had been blaming himself for ruining their friendship. But now he was doubting it. Were there already problems that he didn't know about?? Luke thought about it and wish not, because if their friendship broke because of a boy, because of him, he was sure sooner or later they would make up. They had done that before. But if there were other problems that no one ever noticed, will reconciliation be possible?

His focus shifted from their friendship to his relationship with Brooke. She was Peyton's friend alright, but she was my girlfriend!!! How did I miss out on such a big part of her life?? Where the hell have was i when she was dealing with it?? Have I really been an ass to her?? Did I really neglect her?? Was Brooke right to blame me for ruining our relationship??? ... Thinking about if he did justice to their relationship or not pained him. He always thought he gave his hundred percent to the relationship. Now he wasn't sure anymore.

I love you Brooke... I don't know how else to say it."

" How about how you show it? I am not pushing you away, Lucas, I am holding on for dear life. But I need you to need me back, okay?"...

Didn't I try hard enough?? Could I have tried harder???..

As he thought about it, Peyton entered his room and stood near the foot of his bed. "What the hell Luke!!!! Who the hell leaves a note on his girlfriend's bedside table and disappears for a whole day??" Peyton's face displayed an expression which was something a mixture of pain, disgust and anger. "Ummm...Last night when I dropped you home, you were really drunk Peyt, I went to your house to check on you this morning but you were still asleep so I didn't want to wake you up with a headache or something . So I left you a note." Lucas explained. "Agreed. But what about the whole day??? I have been calling and calling you the whole freaking day but you have been ignoring my calls... I have been worried sick about you Lucas.. You couldn't answer your phone once to let me know you

were OK.????" Lucas hated funerals, and Keith's and Jimmy's death hadn't helped with his already grave feelings about it. He had already been a little shaky today, he just masked it for Brooke. And then whatever strength and energy he had left was drained out by the whole day's event and with everything else going on in his mind. All the doubts and questions occupying all his thoughts, he didn't have any patience for anymore of Peyton drama right now. "Peyton I was at a funeral!!!.. of course wouldn't have answered my phone... And of course I would have turned off the ringer volume. And why the hell were you be worried?? I wrote everything in the note... I told you I was going with Brooke to Nancy's funeral. It's not like I went AWOL!!!. Why are you overreacting??? " his voice raised a little with every sentence he said and with that increased his frustration. "huh!!... I don't believe you Luke!!!... You spent a whole day with your ex-girlfriend, leaving me one stupid note... And now I am Overreacting ??" her laughter reeked of disgust. Lucas couldn't believe Peyton was making such a big deal of it. "Yes Brooke is my ex-girlfriend but first she is a friend. She needed me today and I had to be there. It wasn't a date or something Peyton. I just wanted to help her through Nancy's funeral.i owe this much to her." he said in a steady and calm voice. "Oh god!!! It might as well been a date!!! And Who the hell is this Nancy??? One phone call you overhear and now you are all about gaga about Nancy and her funeral. Tell me truthfully Lucas, was it really the funeral or it was just that you wanted to spend some time with her" Peyton shouted. Jealousy evident in her voice. By now Lucas had lost whatever little patience he had left and he bursted out "How dare you Peyton!!!! I agree Brooke was my girlfriend, I still care about her and always will, but how dare you question my motives??? When I was in a relationship with Brooke, I always came to you whenever you called me for help because I cared about you. Brooke not once questioned me that time... She never asked me not to help you... Never!!. In fact she has been there for you more than I have. And now when Brooke needed a friend I can't believe you would question me for being there for her, she didn't even ask for it... You know she never does. In fact you are her best friend right??? Shouldn't you have been there?? ... Why weren't you there Peyton??... And you ask who is Nancy???... You tell me...You were the best friend, shouldn't you have known who was Nancy to Brooke ??? " A tear rolled down Peyton's cheek. Never had she ever seen Lucas lose his temper like this before. Lucas realized he had said too much, but he wasn't in any mood for apologizing, at least not now. He ran his fingers through his blonde hair,drew a deep breath and said "Peyton please leave!!...I am really frustrated right now and you are angry too...Please leave before we say anything to each other that we'll regret later." Peyton couldn't believe this was happening to her. Last night was perfect. When she went to sleep life never seemed better. She couldn't understand what happened in a night that now everything was falling apart. Why does this always happen to her. She felt victimized again. She was angry and hurt. She bit her lips to hold her sob and ran out of the house, the door closed behind her with a thud.

Brooke sat on her couch, television set to some random channel. Brooke raised the volume high enough to drown all her inner voices behind it. A moment later Rachel came and pulled the plug. "Bitch!! You know the rules... No loud sounds the day after night outs" said Rachel massaging her temples with fingers. Brooke knew for sure she had a terrible hangover. "By the way, where the hell have you been? First you left the party shamefully early, went missing all night and now you are coming back. Please tell me at least you were doing someone and have been with him ever since or else I'll lose my mind." Rachel mocked a pained expression. This made Brooke laugh, " oh shut up! I just had a terrible headache last night so I decided to end the night a little early. I also had a meeting today about that next fashion show, so I have been busy the whole day." Rachel gave her a dirty look "now I seriously wanna puke, and it's definitely not because of the hangover... Uuugh.. Brooke Davis you are loosing your touch... You are going to spoil my reputation too. I don't know if I can hangout with you anymore." Brooke laughed and threw a cushion at her friend as she the red head left the room and went back to her bedroom to catch up with some more sleep.

Brooke found herself in a better mood first time in a long while, inspite the recent events. She felt a tinge of guilt for she loved spending time with Lucas again. She felt another tinge of guilt for opening up to him like she did in the car. Truth be told, she had always found herself open upto Lucas with ease. Lucas was the person who had seen the most real side of her. The events of the car started replaying and she was soon regretting all the things she had reveiled in her surge of emotions. She reminded herself that they weren't together anymore. She reminded herself of her broken heart. She reminded herself that she was not supposed to trust him. She was disgusted by helself for the fact that even after everything Lucas put her through, her heart trusted him with such ease. She felt vulnerable, she felt naked, she felt endangered. She pulled her knees close to her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around them, as if shielding her heart. She knew what happened today couldn't happen again... She wouldn't let that happen again...

It had been over a week and Brooke had successfully managed to avoid Lucas. She would come for the class a few minutes late and would leave as soon as the bell rung. She would go to her locker when she was sure she wouldn't find Lucas there. She would spend her lunch breaks doing some student council work. Lately, she had even been hanging

out alot at the Cafe with Karen and Haley. They would talk about insignificant stuffs, laugh about random things. Brooke would usually help around the café and sometimes she would just sit on the counter and sketch. It felt like a second home to her. Being Lucas' ex-girlfriend and knowing his schedule so well made it easier to sneak around the café while avoiding him. At times she laughed to herself thinking about how crazy it was. A few months back she would sneak in and out of Lucas' bedroom to avoid Karen and now she was sneaking in and out of the café to avoid Lucas. But she thought it was worth its while. Once Haley joked about how strange with was to see Brooke Davis volunteering in the cafe. "Oh honey I have hidden motives behind everything I do" said Brooke with a devilish grin on her face. "You see... now that everyone around me seems to be getting Knocked up, Clothes over bros is thinking about launching a maternity line - 'Yummy Mummy'" Brooke made brackets with her fingers to highlight the name. "So here goes my master plan...Karen's best friend Deb went all crazy junky on her, and as Karen here is all pregos and her hormones are all haywired, she definitely needs a new best friend, here is where my role comes to play. I sweet talk her into becoming my best friend and then make her model, along with you tutorwife, for all my maternity creations." Brooke pressed her lips together to hold her laughter. Haley punched her on her arm and Karen spitted out the water she was trying to drink and they all started laughing hysterically.

A few weeks had passed since the funeral and Lucas hadn't been able to have a word with brooke yet. It seemed like she was intentionally avoiding him. But why would she?? after all they were friends and brooke didn't have any feeling anymore. Lucas reasoned with himself. He wanted to know how she was holding up. Though She looked fine but he knew very well that Brooke masked her feeling well. Sometimes a little too well for his liking. Brooke hadn't been hanging out with the group lately, neither was she anywhere to be seen during the lunch breaks. Nor had he seen her hanging out with Haley,neither did Haley ever talk about her. So he wasn't sure asking Haley about her would do any good and anyways he couldn't just bring her topic randomly. It wasn't like they were together anymore or anything. Lucas also felt it would be better not to bring up the topic in front of Peyton. After their fight had gotten so ugly he kicked himself for hurting someone yet again. After their anger cooled down a bit, they had apologized to each other. And ever since things have been fine between them. He thought Peyton had already seen too much pain in her life and he didn't want to cause her anymore of it. But if he was honest with himself he would say that he had been missing Brooke a bit more than he would like admit. He knew everything was over between them, he was sure Brooke didn't love him anymore, and he was also sure that after waiting for Brooke to come back to him for a while, he eventually realized that he had fallen out of love too. So he was convinced that he was missing Brooke just as he would miss any other friend....But was that true????...

It was Nathan and Haley's night off so they decided to watch a movie and order some Chinese takeout. It had almost become a ritual that Brooke would walked with Haley to her's and Nathan's apartment, the three of them would hang out a bit, have dinner together, sometimes watch a movie or two. At times she would crash on the couch but mostly she would walk back to Rachel's house. Brooke had recently discovered her fondness for these quiet little strolls during the night, and she tried not to miss them. Nathan and Haley loved having her there too. They had missed Brooke in the past few months, after all she was the most cheerful and entertaining part of their group. Lunch breaks did feel a little dull without her. But ever since Brooke started hanging out at the Cafe, she had been a regular at their appartement, not that Nathan knew anything about the secret Cafe trio that his wife, Brooke and Karen had formed. Having Brooke around was easy for Haley too, as she had been a little tired due to her pregnancy, and brooke would help her around as much as possible.

They got the popcorn and soda and settled in the living room. Brooke took the couch and tucked her legs behind her. Nathan and Haley snuggled on the recliner. Picking up a movie had always been the trickiest part for them. Nathan would want to watch something action filled and the girls would want to watch some corny romcom. Today his heart was set on Tom cruise's Days Of Thunder. Haley glared "noways!! It reminds me of your stupid race car accident." Haley knitted her brows in pain thinking about it. Nathan mouthed an apology. He pulled her close and kissed the side of her head as he lazily moved his hands up and down her arms. Brooke smiled at them. As always the girls won the argument and decided to watch Notting Hill. The movie had just started when there was a knock. "Must be the food. I'll go get it." Nathan got up and opened the door. "Supp little brother?? Peyton's dad is in town, she is spending time with him so I thought I'll grace you two kids with my presence." Lucas walked in and joked. Nathan stammered unintelligently. The girls turned around and Lucas' eyes fell on Brooke and he felt a flutter in his stomach., "Oh... Brooke... Hi.." he looked at Nathan and then at Haley and then back at Brooke. A look went around Brooke and the married couple. Haley bit her lips at the awkwardness of the situation. A quick look passed between the girls before Haley waved her hand at Lucas while staring at the TV screen "Oh come on in Luke...Sodas in the fridge, popcorn in the microwave. Help yourself." she said quickly and returned to the movie. "thanks Hales" Lucas tucked his hands deep in his pockets and shrugged at Nathan. As he walked toward the kitchen he saw Brooke's glass was empty so offered "u want a refill?" Brooke looked up from the screen and saw how embarrassed Lucas look to raid on their movie night like that, where he was definitely not invited. She felt a little bad for him so she handed him her glass with a quick smile and thanked him. As Lucas went to the kitchen, "wow!! That was awkward", Nathan said as he sat wrapping his arms around Haley. Brooke shot him a dirty look and Haley slaped his arm as his laughed.

Lucas sat on the couch,everyone felt a little discomfort in the ambience. Somewhere in between the movie they all eased up. Laughing and chatting like old times... Throwing popcorn at each other... Things felt normal again. The thing was, comfort always came naturally to Lucas and Brooke... In fact Staying away and acting distant was the hard part. As the closing credits of Notting Hill rolled on the screen, Nathan found some male support in Lucas and put in some action flick. Haley was bored. She rested her head on Nathan's chest and fell asleep snuggling into his arms.The distance between Brooke and Lucas had shortened. Lucas' arm was resting on the backrest of the couch and Brooke's neck rested on it. Brooke started dozing off and ended up resting her head in the crook of his neck. Lucas put his arm around her to support her sleeping frame. He looked at her face, she looked so peaceful while sleeping. She had instinctively held onto his shirt, as she had done so many times in the past. Lucas smiled at the sleeping brunette and tucked a lose tendril of hair behind her ear. His touch woke up Brooke. She fluttered her eyes open and found herself in his arms. "oh.. I'm sorry" she whispered sleepily as she sat up straight. Lucas gave her an understanding smile. Brooke checked the time "it's late... I should leave now" she whispered to Nathan as she stood up to leave not wanting to disturb Haley, who was in a deep slumber by now. "Yeah me too...I'll walk you home" Lucas patted Nathan's shoulder lightly and both nodded each other goodbye.

They walked silently to Rachel's house. He didn't speak a word, but Lucas felt a strange sense of calm in a very long time. Once they reached her door Lucas said gently "it was fun today...I like that we can hang out again Brooke. We should do this more often." Brooke gave him a weak smile "yes it was... And yes it is... But I don't think we should make it a regular or something. We have a past Lucas, we can't deny it. But it's better if we keep it in the past... Good night Lucas." she said sadly and walked into the house.

Lucas stood there, watching her go and felt the calm being replace by an emptiness.