YESHA! CHAPTER THREE YO! AND NO! IT'S NOT A MARY SUE! If it was, I would put MYSELF in the damn story!

Laura: She ain't lyin.

Courtney: Yep!

Kate: Totally true. I'm nothin like her.

PLUS I WOULD USE MY NAME!

Kate/Laura/Courtney: Also true.

Now that's been cleared up, ON WITH THE STORY! (Fyi: It took my a LONG time to copy the words FROM the movie! Don't hate me!)

We came up on a room that had words on the door that said Nut Sorting Room.

"Ah! This is a room I know all about. For you see, Mr. Wonka, I, myself, am in the nut business." Mr. Salt said, handing Willy a card, who just threw it over his shoulder without second thought or glance.

"Are you using the Havermax 4000 to do you sorting?" Mr. Salt asked.

"Mm-No," Willy said, "Haha, you're really weird."

I giggled as he opened the door. We all stepped in to see-

"Squirrels." Veruca said.

"Yeah. Squirrels. These squirrels are specially trained to get the nuts out of shells." Willy explained.

I reached into Willy's jacket, NINJA STYLE I might add, and took one of his index cards. I pulled out a sharpie that I had in my pocket and wrote the number 10 on it.

"Why use squirrels? Why not use Oompa-Loompas?" Mr. Salt asked.

"Because only squirrels can get the whole walnut out almost every single time. See how they tap them with their knuckles to make sure it's not bad? Oh, look. Look," Will said, pointing, "I think that one's got a bad nut."

"Daddy, I want a squirrel." Veruca said, "Get me one of those squirrels. I want one."

"Veruca, dear, you have many marvelous pets."

"All I've got a home is one pony and two dogs and four cats and six bunny rabbits and two parkeets and three cananries and a green parrot and a turtle and a silly old hamster. I want a squirrel!" Veruca demanded.

Man...demand much? Little freakin brat.

"All right, pet. Daddy will get you a squirrel as soon as he possibly can." Mr. Salt said.

Third person much too? Sheesh! What is up with these richies?

"But I don't want any old squirrel. I want a trained squirrel." she said.

"Very well. Mr. Wonka, how much do you want for one of these squirrels?" Mr. Salt asked, "Name you price."

I leaned over to Charlie and whispered, "Push over."

He chuckled quietly. Veruca smiled up at Willy.

"Oh, they're not for sale. She can't have one."

She frowned, anger shining in her eyes. She turned at looked at her father and said, "Daddy."

Before he could respond, Willy said, copying Mr. Salt's voice perfectly, "I'm sorry, darling. Mr. Wonka's being unreasonable."

"If you won't get me a squirrel, I'll get one myself."

She ducked under the door bar and descended down the stairs that were there.

"Veruca." her father called, but she ignored him.

"Little girl?" Willy called out to her also, who she also ignored. She looked around, looking for the 'perfect' squirrel.

"Veruca, come back here at once." her father said weakly, but was still ignored by his daughter. I leaned over to him and said, " Maybe you shouldn't have spoiled her so much."

He glared at me and I ducked behind Willy, smirking to myself.

"Little girl?" Willy said, "Don't touch that squirrel's nuts. It'll make him crazy."

She ignored him and went for the one she wanted. As she reached her arms out, she said, "I'll have you."

The squirrels suddenly jumped, causing her to jump away from them. Willy let got of my hand, as if he knew what was going to happen. Which...duh! Of course he knew!

"Veruca!" Mr. Salt said frightfully then looked at Willy, who pulled out a key ring to reveal about 20 or so more keys. All the squirrels jumped at her, making her fall backwards.

"Let's find the key." Willy said to himself, trying the key, "Nope. Not that one."

"Daddy!" Veruca whined slightly.

"Veruca!"

"No. It's not that one." Willy said, still looking for the...ahem...'right' key.

The squirrels started to pin her down.

"There is is. There it isn't." Willy said, trying another key. I rolled my eyes.

"Daddy, I want them to stop." Veruca said.

"What are they doing?" Charlie asked.

Willy looked up from the keys and said, "They're testing to see if she's a bad nut."

The squirrel tapped her head and listened for a minute or so before it made a strange noise. Willy's face fell slightly, but still held a small grin.

"Oh, my goodness. She is a bad nut after all."

The squirrels started to drag her to the chute.

"Where are they taking her?" Mr. Salt asked.

"Where all the other bad nuts go. To the garbage chute." Willy said.

"Where does the chute go?" Mr. Salt asked.

"To the incinerator," Willy said, "But don't worry. We only light it on Tuesdays."

I rolled my eyes once more. Today is Tuesday.

"Today is Tuesday." Mike said, as if he read my thoughts.

Willy looked at him with annoyance.

"Well, there's always the chance they decided not to light it today." Willy said, getting a fearful look from Mr. Salt. As Veruca went down the chute, she screamed.

"Now, she may be stuck in the chute just below the top. If that's the case, all you have to do is just reach in and pull her out," Willy said, "Okay?"

I looked at the small gate. The 'right' key was in the keyhole. So he had it in there the whole time she was being judged? Sneaky little chocolatier. He unlocked the small gate and Mr. Salt slowly descended down the stairs. I heard some music starting up. DUDE! This is bonusville for me right now! I swayed with Willy with the music.

"Veruca Salt, the little brute, has just gone down the garbage chute
And she will meet as she descends, a rather different set of friends

...a rather different set of friends...a rather different set of friends

A fish head for example cut, this morning from a halibut
An oyster from an oyster stew, a steak that no one else would chew
And lots of other things as well, each with its rather horrid smell (horrid smell)

These are Veruca's newfound friends, that she will meet as she descends
These are Veruca's newfound friends...

Who went and spoiled her, who indeed? Who pandered to her every need?
Who turned her into such a brat? who are the culprits, who did that?

The guilty ones, now this is sad, are dear old mum and loving dad."

When the 'loving dad' part came up, a squirrel, the same squirrel that Veruca wanted, run up and pushed him in, making him fall down the chute yelling. Willy almost laughed, but held it in and put a hand over his lips, smiling, but I didn't. I laughed hard and held up his index card, flashing my 10 at the squirrel.

"Nice job!" I called out to the squirrel. An Oompa-Loompa came out and tugged on Willy's coat. He looked down and then squatted, the little man whispering in his ear.

"Oh, really? Oh, good," He said, standing up, "I've just been informed that the incinerator's broken. So there should be about three weeks of rotten garbage to break their fall."

He was smiling, but I was not. I clutched my stomach, thinking of the horrid smell.

"Well, that's good news." Mr. Teavee said, a little unsure.

"Yeah," Willy said, "Well, let's keep on trucking."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me along gently. He pushed a button, a small 'ding' was heard.

"I don't know why I didn't think of this earlier. The elevator's by far the most efficient way to get around the factory." Willy explained, pulling me in and close to him. I almost snorted. Almost. I know he didn't forget. There was just too many people for everyone to fit in.

"There can't be this many floors." Mike said.

"How do you know, Mr. Smarty-Pants? This isn't just an ordinary up-and-down elevator, by the way. This elevator can go sideways, longways, slantways and any other ways you can think of. You just press any button and, whoosh, you're off." Willy said.

I nearly fell over if Willy wasn't holding me. Can't say the same for everyone else though. They all crashed into the glass wall.

"Oh, look. Look," Willy said, pointing like a child, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Fudge Mountain."

"Wow." I breathed.

We came across two Oompa-Loompas who were shaving very fluffy pink sheep. I raised an eyebrow at this.

"Oh!" Willy started then stopped, looking very embarrassed, "I'd rather not talk about this one."

I'm so gunna get him to tell me about this one later. I swear to my love of anime. We passed over a medical center.

"This is the Puppet Hospital and Burn Center, "Willy said, all of us watching the tiny men cart around burned dolls, "It's relatively new."

We all came to a mid-stop, forcing everyone, but me and Willy, to fall forward.

"Ah, the administration offices," Willy said, then waved, "Hello, Doris."

She looked up and waved back slightly. We took off towards a danger zone. We paused for a few seconds before going downwards. There were so many colors, like the fourth of July. I looked around in awe and amazement.

"Why is everything here completely pointless?" Mike asked, snapping me out of my dream like state. I glared daggers into the small child. How dare he say that AND for ruining my dream like state. Boy...I just realized, I've been glaring at people almost all day.

"Candy doesn't have to have a point. That's why it's candy." Charlie said, getting a small smile from Willy. He just earned more kudo points from me.

"It's stupid. Candy is a waste of time." Mike said.

I felt Willy's grip on waist tightened slightly. I reached over, which wasn't that far, and smacked Mike across the back of his head, getting an 'ow!' from him while I just smirked evilly. He glared at me the looked at Willy.

"I want to pick a room." Mike stated.

Willy snapped out of his faze and smiled.

"Go ahead."

He moved out of the way and Mike picked the TV room. Go figure. As we entered the place and the doors opened, Willy raced out of the elevator slightly.

"Here," Willy said, grabbing a pair of bug-eyed glasses, "Put these on quick, and don't take them off whatever you do. This light could burn your eyeballs right out of you skulls. And we certainly don't want that, now, do we?"

"Yum...Fried eyeballs." I joked, getting a smile from him. I felt like I have huge eyes. As we followed Willy, began to explain the room.

"This is the testing room for my very latest and greatest invention: Television Chocolate."

My eyes went huge. HOLY CRAP-OLA! Why can't someone invent this from my world? I know why...BECAUSE THEY'RE DUMB! HAHAHAHA!

"One day it occurred to me: "Hey, if television can break up a photograph into millions and millions of tiny pieces and send it whizzing through the air then reassemble it on the other end, why can't I do the same with chocolate? Why can't I send a real bar of chocolate through the television, ready to be eaten?" " He said.

"Genius!" I said excitedly, clapping my hand together at a rapid speed. He smiled at me slightly.

"Sounds impossible." Mr. Teavee said.

"It is impossible." Mike said.

I frowned. Stupid buzz kills. Willy also frowned and clutched his cane, then started walking towards where the big red button is at.

"You don't understand anything about science. First off, there's a difference between waves and particles. Duh! Second, the amount of power it would take to convert energy in matter would like nine atomic bombs."

Willy had enough and turned around, saying with some anger in his voice, "Mumbler!"

I winced at the loudness of his voice and from Mike's explanation of science.

"Ow...brain huts...too much science intake." I said, twitching slightly.

"Seriously, I cannot understand a single word you're saying."

Mike gave him a blank stare. Willy straightened up, looping his right arm that was holding his cane around me, rubbing my shoulder slightly.

"Okey-dokey. I shall now send a bar of chocolate from one end of the room to the other by television. Bring in the chocolate." Willy said, calling to his workers. I stared at the hug chocolate bar.

"Oh...my...Wonka bar..." I muttered out, "It's like heaven on freakin earth."

I heard Willy chuckle. They brought it over to a round disc like thing.

"It's gotta be read big because you know how on TV you can film a regular-size man and he comes out looking this tall? Same basic principle." Willy said as he pushed the big red button.

"TELAPORT!" I yelled, pointing at it before it disappeared.

"It's gone!" Charlie said after it disappeared.

"Told ya. That bar of chocolate is now rushing through the air above our heads in a million tiny little pieces. Come over here. Come on. Come on. Come on!" Willy said, rushing over to the TV. I got there first, bending over slightly and staring at the screen.

"Watch the screen." Willy said, drawing near. He was right next to me, pressing his side against mine. He wrapped his arm around me, to keep from falling over as he stared at the TV screen with excitement.

"Here it comes," He said, "Oh, look."

He reached over and tapped Mike.

"Take it."

"It's just a picture on a screen." Mike said.

"Tch. Scaredy-cat," Will said, frowning at Mike. He looked at Charlie and said, "You take it. Go on. Just reach out and grab it."

Charlie looked at the screen and reached his hand in, grabbing the chocolate and pulling it out.

"Holy buckets." Grandpa Joe said.

"Eat it. Go on. It'll be delicious. It's the same bar. It's just gotten a little smaller on the journey, that's all."

Charlie looked at Willy, who was making a biting motion. Charlie took a bite, chewed then swallowed, and said, "It's great."

"It's a miracle." Grandpa Joe said.

Willy let go of me and went towards where the Oompa-Loompa was sitting at.

"So imagine, you're sitting at home watching television and suddenly a commercial will flash onto the screen, and a voice will say: "Wonka's chocolates are the best in the world. If you don't believe us, try one for yourself." And you simply reach out and take it. How about that?" Willy said, reaching accidentally grabbing my glasses. I snapped my eyes shut and yelled, "Willy! Kate needs glasses before her eyes burn!"

I felt them being put back on. I opened eyes and sighed in relief.

"Many thanks." I breathed as Willy smiled nervously ay me.

"So can you send other things?" Mr. Teavee asked, "Say, like, breakfast cereal?"

"Do you have any idea what breakfast cereal's made of? It's those little curly wooden shaving you find in pencil sharpness"

"YOU MEAN I COULD HAVE LEAD POISONING?!" I yelled, sarcastically of course. Willy chuckled slightly.

"But could you send it by television if you wanted to?" Charlie asked.

"Of course I could."

"What about people?" Mike asked. Oooooooooooooooooh! I know where THIS is going.

"Well, why would I wanna send a person? They don't taste very good at all."

"Hey! I do taste good!" I defended sarcastically, but apparently...it made Willy blush slightly.

"Don't you realize what you've invented? It's a teleporter. It's the most important invention in the history of the world. All all you think about is chocolate." Mike said.

Willy had looked at his Oompa-Loompa who looked right back at him. Willy looked forward at Mike once more.

"Calm down Mike. I think Mr. Wonka knows what he's talking about." Mr. Teavee said.

"No, he doesn't. He has no idea. You think he's a genius, but he's an idiot. But I'm not."

I went to hit Mike for that idiot comment towards Willy, but he ran forwad, leaping over the small man in the chair. I almost fell over from my swing. He ran towards the machine, but smacked two Oompa-Loompas away.

"Hey, little boy. Don't push my button." Willy warned. I went over to the two fallen workers.

"Are you two okay?" I asked, concern and worry laced in my voice. They looked up at me and nodded, smiling at me. I smiled back and said, "Oh good."

I went over back to Willy and stood next to him.

"He's gone." Mr. Teavee said.

I blinked and looked up where Mike was suppose to be at. Whoa...I missed him disappearing!

"Let's go check the television, see what we get. I sure hope no part of him gets left behind."

"What do you mean?" Mr. Teavee asked.

"Well, sometime only half of the little pieces find their way through. If you had to choose only one half of you son, which one would it be?"

"What kind of a question is that?" Mr. Teavee snapped.

"No need to snap. Just a question," Willy said then turned around to his worker, "Try every channel. I'm starting to feel a little anxious."

I heard rock music starting up. SWAEEEET!

"There he is." Charlie said.

"Mike." Mr. Teavee said.

"The most important thing that we've ever learned
The most important thing we've learned as far as children are concerned
Is never, never let them near a television set, or better still just don't install the idiotic thing at all.
(Never, never let them...never, never let them.)

It rots the senses in the head
It kills imagination dead
It clogs and clutters up the mind
It makes a child so dull and blind
(So dull and blind...so dull and blind.)

He can no longer understand a fairytale, in fairyland (a fairyland...a fairyland)
His brain becomes as soft as cheese
His thinking powers rust and freeze
He cannot think, he only SEES! (He only sees...he only sees)

Regarding little Mike Teavee, we very much regret that we (regret that we)
Shall simply have to wait and see...we very much regret that we
Shall simply have to wait and see if we can get him back to size
But if we can't...It serves him right!"

At the 'so dull' part, everyone looked from the TV back to the Oompa-Loompas rocking out then back to the TV. I had to rock out. It was freakin AWESOME! When Mike got squashed, Willy jerked back slightly.

"Ew. Someboy grab him." Willy said.

"Help me. Help me." Mike cried out, his voice squeaky. I had to stiffle a laugh. The voice reminds me of Alpha from the movie Up.

"Oh, thank heavens. He's completely unharmed." Willy said.

"Unharmed? What are you talking about?" Mr. Teavee asked angrly.

"Just put me back in the other way." Mike squeaked.

I snorted and crossed my arms. It does serve him right.

"There is no other way. It's television, not telephone. There's qiute a difference."

"And what exactly do you propose to do about it?" Mr. Teavee asked, furious.

"I don't know. But young men are extremely springy. They stretch like mad." Willy said then stopped, getting an idea, "Let's go put him in the taffy puller.

"Taffy puller?!" Mr. Teavee exclaimed.

Wily frowned and said, "Hey, that was my idea. Boy, is he gonna be skinny. Yeah. Taffy puller."

He turned to the Oompa-Loompa and said, "I want you to take Mr. Teavee and his...little boy up to the taffy puller, okay? Stretch him out."

The little worker bowed and took Mr. Teavee away.

"On with the tour." Willy said, walking away with me trailing behind him like a little puppy. Charlie and his grandfather followed after me. All the Oompa-Loompas powered down the room and left.

"There's still so much left to see. Now, how many children are left?" Willy asked, taking off the glasses and turned around. Everyone looked at me. I blinked and shrugged my shoulder slightly, saying, "I was here for the entertainment and the awesome tour."

They looked away from me, somewhat disturbed by my words on the 'entertainment'. Grandpa Joe took of his glasses, followed by Charlie, and said, "Mr. Wonka, Charlie's the only one left now."

Willy looked at him in disbelief and shock, but I believe that he was happy none-the-less.

"You mean, you're the only one?"

BWA! I'm cliffhanging it there. T^T There's still so much stuff to right after that.

Neko: You should've brokin it up into sections.

BUT THEN SOME OF THE CHAPTERS WOULD BE SHORTER THEN THE REST!

Kate: So?

*is defeated* T^T YOU PEOPLE SUCK! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Willy Wonka: Uhm...Is she okay?

Kate: She's fine.

Neko: She's just going through with soda and milk duds withdraws.

Willy Wonka: Oh...Okay...

Neko/Kate: Review people!