Author's note:

Awww, thank you guys so much for the reviews and story alerts! That means a lot to me (:

Here's the second chapter now! It's a bit shorter than the last one because I didn't had much time, so please indulge a bit. And I still haven't had a chance to bring other characters into the story. Sorry for that! Hope you like it anyways!

And once again: I don't own Victorious! The idea of my story is based on the series produced by Dan Schneider.

CHAPTER TWO

THIS IS HOW IT GOES DOWN

BECK'S POV

I sighed as I finally closed the door. I somehow felt relieved but guilty at the same time. With a slight smile on my face I looked out of the small window of my RV and watched Tori walk away. Her hair was flipping around around her waist when she suddenly turned around and waved at me for a last time. I grinned and lifted my hand to say goodybe and then she disappeared behind the corner. I couldn't help but smile. Everything about this girl was beautiful... she was beautiful from the inside and outside, I would even say she was flawless... but... god damn it, why was I even thinking about this? I had Jade. And... shouldn't I be happy about that? I was, at least I tried to be. But thinking about how I was using Jade to get over the girl I really loved... made me feel sick. I slowly turned into someone I'd never wanted to be and I couldn't even help it. How could I be so selfish? Jade didn't deserve this and I was totally aware of the fact that I'd hurt her sooner or later... Cause even if I hoped that dating her would help me to get over Tori I already knew that my feelings for her wouldn't go away, no matter how hard I'd try. God damn it, what had I let myself in for?

TORI'S POV

It's been a month now since Beck had told me that he and Jade were dating and I still felt kinda... uncomfortable? with that. Remember how I said I would like to get to know Jade better? And how glad I was that she was the one who made him happy and that I'll accept their relationship? That. Was. A. Lie! Don't get me wrong, I definitely was happy for him. After all he was still my best friend and what kind of friend would I be if I wasn't happy for him? But... Somehow I couldn't help thinking that he could do so much better than Jade. She didn't deserve him! It's not that I haven't tried becoming friends with her... I actually didn't know how many times I've tried to get along with her – definitely more than one time – but no matter what I had done – nothing had worked.

Everytime I spent time with her and Beck she made it more than clear that I was undesired. Wanna hear some examples? Fine, here you go: One time Beck and I were standing at my locker and we really did nothing more than talking about the play we are currently doing in acting class. We were laughing together and when he was playfully nudging my arm Jade suddenly appeared out of nowhere, pulled him close and started making out with him. Another time I joined our friends at lunch and as soon as I sat down next to Beck Jade put her arm around him and they started making out again. They actually did nothing else than making out... I mean... Seriously? Their relationship was nothing more than a make-out session? I didn't get why Jade always had to clarify that Beck belonged to her. I mean... I know he's her boyfriend, right? No need to prove me everytime I was around. I tried so hard to accept their relationship and I did quite I good job so far, I think. But I missed my best friend. I missed everything about him. After a few weeks of dating I already knew I was right thinking that Jade would take him away from me... Why did it always have to be me? Of all girls he could get he picked Jade? Argh... It was even worse than I thought it would be. Everytime I saw them together I forced myself not to leave... and everytime I saw them kissing I felt like I had to vomit. Was I jealous? No. Um... Yes. Argh, I just didn't know! I couldn't be jealous, I wasn't allowed to be jealous... But I was. There was no way denying that.

Yah, and here I was, sitting on my bed with my diary on my legs. Actually I should have started getting ready for the party at Cat's tonight, but somehow I couldn't concentrate on nonessential stuff like that... Lost in thought I ran over the pages. There were a lot of new entries since Beck had told me he and Jade were together and they all dealed with only one subject: Them.

Sep 08, 2011

Dear diary,

I need to talk to someone and as Beck is definitely no option I guess I have to talk to myself. Fine, why not? If it helps... Well, whatever, back to my problems. Beck is no option cause... it wouldn't be helpful to get steamed about the fact that he has a girlfriend when he's around, right? I mean... Sure, I could talk to him about that but... no. No way! He would think I'm jealous. And I am NOT jealous! Me? Never! Well, at least I never was until he told me he and Jade West are dating. JADE WEST! The girl I hate, the girl I've always hated! I don't want her to be his girlfriend. She's mean and sneaky and I'm sure she will take him away from me, even though Beck promised me that nothing would ever come between us. But I just know she will... I don't want to loose him. He's my best friend... And now there's this stupid bitch and... AHHH! Did I already say that I'm not jealous? I'm just mad. Mad and disappointed... disappointed that Beck likes her and... fine, I'm jealous! But there's no way I'm going to admit that! No, I'm going to act like everything's okay. I already told him everything's fine, sooo... I won't stop acting like all was well... And he's going to believe me! Argh, I hate my life!

Sep 15, 2011

Why did I tell him I wanted to give her a try? I knew I hate her and I knew that this feeling about her wouldn't change just because Beck and her are together now. Jade West and Tori Vega = friends? NO WAY! I swear I'm going to kill her. Someday I'm going to kill her! And Beck will be thankful... and he will realize what I really mean to him! Argh, wait, why am I even thinking about this again? He's my best friend! Shit. Tori Vega, don't you dare to think about stuff like that! He's nothing but your best friend. And he'll always be...

Sep 23, 2011

They drive me insane. Everytime I am around they start making out. I mean... They are in love, I know... And that's great. - No, it isn't, but I just thought I should try a new methode to convince myself that it is great... Okay, it doesn't work. - Back to my problem: They don't have to show that to everybody at Hollywood Arts, right? Especially not to me... Everytime I see them kissing I feel like I need to punch her in the lips. What the hell is going on with me? I've never been this aggressive. That's actually Jade's part, right? Argh! Somebody help me, I think I'm losing grip!

Wow. Did I really sound this desperate? Damn it, I just don't know what's wrong with me lately... I really felt like I needed to talk to someone... Someone real and not to a stupid diary. Gosh, now was the time I normally would have called Beck but this subject was definitely nothing I wanted to talk about with him. Guess there was time for girlstalk... Poor little Cat...