A/N: So I haven't actually finished chapter 9 to post on AO3 yet, but I have it started, which is something, and since you all have been so very lovely and encouraging with your reviews (I promise I will get around to replying to the ones for chapter 2) I decided you all deserved another chapter as a thank you. I'm quite fond of this one myself, so I hope you enjoy it too.
Bilbo found that he could not sleep that night. Not in this room, not with those memories so freshly dug up and aired. He half expected Will to come in crying about wolves and orcs, and to have to tell stories of springtime and flowers to calm him down. Goodness, he'd all but erased these memories the first go round - but wasn't that what the entirety of the Shire had done, in the aftermath of the Fell Winter? They had buried what dead they could and then went on as if everything could be normal again. And for so many now, it was. And before, the first time, it had been for Bilbo as well. He had just been alone, not haunted. He had buried the memory of his brother's existence because he could not bear his own shame. He rolled over and closed his eyes again, but all he saw was blood, and wolves and orcs - and then the elves and the dwarves and the men that fought them. Dear me, I am rather a mess, I should think, Bilbo mused wryly to himself. He tried once more to sleep but eventually abandoned the idea, shaking off his blankets and getting up.
He walked silently down the hallway, stopping at Thorin's door. He stared at it and frowned for a moment, wondering just what bothered him about it when he realised - oh. He'd given him Will's old room without even realising it. Still, thought Bilbo, there's nothing to be done about it now. So he positioned himself just to the side of the door and he sat down. If he wasn't going to sleep then he might as well do something that made him feel slightly less useless. Even if there was no danger, even though he knew he was safe, he stood guard outside of Thorin's door.
Thorin, for his part, slept rather well. He had not spent the night in such a comfortable bed for a very long time, and he took advantage of the opportunity, kicking off his boots and settling down for the night. He dreamt, but no terrors followed into his mind - only happy memories, of his brother and sister and himself before everything. Before the dragon. When he woke up his eyes watered with tears, but he did not mind all that much. And he was grateful now, more than ever, that he had had Frerin beside him as long as he had. To lose a sibling which was just a child - he could not begin to imagine the hobbit's pain. And yet he could see it etched in his face, clear as day. Coming with them would be good for Bilbo, he decided. It would get him out into the world and away from a place where he either wanted to forget, or to drown in the memories. Finally deciding to open his eyes, he stretched and sat up, his legs over the side of the bed. It was bright that morning, and when he looked out the window, he saw that the grass was dewy with the rain of the previous night. He once again marvelled at the generosity of hobbits - or this hobbit in particular. Perhaps he was an oddity. He probably was. Shaking his head, he pulled his boots on and straightened himself out, before opening his door. And finding Bilbo sat outside, leaning slightly to the left, eyes closed and dark circles under his eyes. At Thorin's movement he stirred, looking up blearily.
"Master Baggins, have you been there all night?" He asked softly, in amazement. Bilbo nodded, turning away and refusing to meet his eyes.
"I couldn't sleep and I... I didn't really want to be alone, but I didn't want to disturb you, so-"
"Peace, Bilbo, you need not explain yourself. I imagine after last night, you perhaps did not want to sleep." Bilbo nodded, making to stand up. Thorin gripped him by the elbow and pulled him the rest of the way until he was standing. He said no more about it, but was touched by the fact that he had been watched over in his sleep - perhaps that was why he had felt so easy, when he was usually so tense in unfamiliar places.
"Would you like to help me make some breakfast? I imagine you'll want to eat before you go and tell your people what you're planning. Or whatever it is you're going to do, other than send me to steal from a dragon." He added with a lopsided grin. The dwarf rolled his eyes.
"I would be only happy to help. If there's anything you would like me to pay for my stay here-"
"WHAT? No, no. You really don't know the first thing about hobbits, do you? I know that you're used to people expecting something of you but really. Insulting the hospitality of a hobbit by offering to pay them. That's simply... well, be glad that it's me here, and not any other hobbit, or you'd be out on your arse faster than you could blink." He shook his head, huffing in indignation. "If there is one thing hobbits pride themselves in, other than gardening, it is being a good host. Honestly. Asking to pay me. What is the world coming to?" He shook his head and went digging in the pantry - well, one of his pantries, for he was a hobbit, and as we all know, hobbits are fond of a good meal, or seven, each day. Thorin was looking ridiculously flustered, but Bilbo had not even given him time to apologize, but he could hear the hobbit's irate murmurs of "honestly, can it be he's always this rude, or do I just get special treatment?"
Thorin watched after him, mouth agape, his mind boggling at the idea someone could be offended for being offered payment for food and board. Just what manner of creatures were these halfli- hobbits, hobbits, he mentally corrected himself. Still, he seemed to be able to do nothing but insult him, however unintentionally. And yet somehow he had not been cast back out into the cold - in fact, Bilbo almost seemed to take his insults in stride, as if he were expecting them. Thorin frowned. Perhaps it was just that he had a thicker skin than most of his kin - his story had certainly proved that. A peaceful folk they may have been, but hobbits seemed - or at least, Bilbo seemed resiliant. They had, after all, come back from being nearly decimated by wolves and orcs. He shook his head, which was beginning to ache from pondering the contradictions of this strange and private race.
The hobbit returned, not saying anything, but handing some food to Thorin to cook, whilst he rummaged about in the cupboards for bits and pieces. They made breakfast in silence, and Thorin was convinced that Bilbo was deliberately ignoring him, until he heard him whisper two words in a voice so quiet he could hardly make it out:
"Thank you".
That surprised Thorin more than anything - why would he... Frowning again, Thorin heaped their breakfast onto the plates - there's so much food here, and given so freely - he thought in wonder. If they had found such a place as this earlier, perhaps they could have set up trade - though what use these Shirefolk might have of anything dwarves could offer was beyond him at the present moment. But he'd let his thoughts get away from him - if anything, he should be thanking Bilbo.
"What on Arda are you thanking me for?" He asked, incredulous, whilst the hobbit still faced away from him, "It seems all I've done since I've got here is stumble across painful memories and offer you insult - for which I apologize, as it was the farthest thing from my intention. I have imposed upon your hospitality. I should be the one thanking you." The hobbit did not respond for a long moment, and Thorin could almost swear he heard muffled sniffling, but then he turned around to face the dwarf, smiling kindly.
"I am glad of the company. Truly." His voice sounded small and far away, and he stared off as if there was something in the distance. "It has been... a long time since I've felt like I've been any use to anyone, to be honest with you." He went and set the plates down and then sat, gesturing for Thorin to do the same. They ate in relative silence, each too deeply entrenched in their own thoughts to say anything. Eventually, they finished, and Thorin watched his host clean away the plates and put them away with a thoughtful gaze.
"If you wish, I will write to you, when I return to my kin in the Blue Mountains. There will be much to prepare for, so I will not return here for some time - but might this be the place where the members of our quest will meet? Those I would trust are not many, and they will come from different directions."
"And yet you trust me." Bilbo pointed out, though he was smiling. Something Thorin was glad to see. Though the hobbit had touched upon something that the king himself had been wondering about. Why indeed did he trust this stranger? Before he could answer, Bilbo started speaking again. "Are you sure it would be prudent to write to me? I mean, there might be some, even amongst your kin who would deem the quest foolhardy and stop you from going. If you wrote to me of your plans... no. It would be better just to have Gandalf let me know."
"You trust the wizard?"
"I trust his intentions. Sometimes, though, the adventures he urges people on... well, they don't always end happily ever after, shall we say." Bilbo informed him, thinking of the events of the first time around. Thorin hummed noncommittally.
"Still, I agree with you about the letter, now that I think of it. You are wise, Master Baggins. I feel you will find my advisor Balin a steadfast friend when you meet him. I am sure he, at least, will come." Bilbo almost smirked. With a trusting Thorin, he and Balin could far more easily reason with the stubborn idiot. Tag-teaming him would be so much fun, he thought, suppressing a grin. As it was, he could not help a small smile.
"Then I cannot meet him, or your other fellows, soon enough." He paused. "Forgive me, this might be an impertinent question, but other than Frerin... do you have any family?" Thorin offered him a half-smile.
"Nay, Master Baggins, it is a question I believe you have a right to ask, after last night, when you shared so much of your own story with me" Ha, the surface has barely been scratched, on that front, my King, thought Bilbo. "The family I have that still live are my sister Dis, and her sons, Fili and Kili."
"Nephews? What's that like?" Oh no. He'd meant to ask what they were like. Not what it was like having nephews. Because for all that Frodo had called him Uncle, he was still really a cousin. And he hadn't raised the boy, not really. He had been dear to him, yes, but sometimes, for whatever reason, he could see Thorin in those bright eyes and that dark hair. As it was, the dwarf cast his eyes to the floor for a moment, and looked sad. "Oh no, it's alright. Really. I'm fine. Truly. I got all my tears out already. Tell me what Fili and Kili are like? How old are they? Do they cause all sorts of mischief?" Thorin answered his questions and talked of his friends and family, and those he hoped would join him. He even spoke of his doubts that they would come. If the quest was wise - whether it was folly to follow the wizard's advice, what if-
"Thorin." Bilbo found himself saying rather firmly. "You listen here. You go to your people, you ask for their help. And whoever will join you will join you. You can ask for no more than their loyalty, honour and willing hearts. And from the sounds of it, your sister sons will join you no matter if you allow them or no." He placed his small hand lightly over the dwarf's own, before standing up to rummage for some parchment and ink.
"What are you doing?" Asked Thorin. Bilbo rolled his eyes as he dipped the quill into his ink.
"I am drawing you a nice, clear map, from Bree to Hobbiton. I'm sure Gandalf might have given you one, but the Big Folk aren't as familiar with the ways and paths of Hobbits. We know the Shire like elves know their woods, or like dwarves know mountains. We know our hills and our valleys. Now you should be able to find my house again, no bother. Here. " He handed it to Thorin once he'd finished.
"But why are you-"
"Well," He replied with a grin, "The others will need to get here somehow, won't they? And it is quite easy, indeed, for strangers to get lost in the Shire, if they do not know what they are looking for. Come on, I'll help you pack some extra food for your journey."