Sick As A Cat

by Bloodlustful

After five wonderful years of an all but perfect life, Amelia has the misfortune to contract a severe, albeit not fatal, case of the flu, and one that will last for a week, at that. And, while she'll be cared for as much as possible by everyone who's willing to, and she has plenty of friends, so many are, it'll still be the week from hell for her.

3. Chapter 3

The next day of Amelia's least favorite week to be has arrived!

Last chapter, she was having an ordeal that was sky high, and indeed she was feeling positively dreadful even for someone with the flu.

A mechanical arm that her husband and four children had put together to make sure that her wants and needs would be brought her way, and it could literally make anything materialize, with a special tray that would hold what was created on it so that it would easily serve its purpose, and it was able to go from intangible to solid to the former again to the latter again and so on and so forth, easily able to extend into the wall of the bedroom Amelia was currently suffering in and bring her what she needed and/or desired and fitted with both a bleeping device and a screen that would show what needed to be created, as well.

Each one of the five would take turns in giving her what had to be given to her at what time it was required she received it.

Surely things would go uphill from here.

'Fraid not.

Though she was given one of the best kind of breakfasts one can ever imagine being made and said breakfast was laden with remedies for the flu, with the sort of tea and cake she loved most being part of said remedy laden breakfast, this was only able to make her feel better briefly, even though it should have pointed her in the right direction more than that(sadly and ironically, she felt even worse afterwards, even though what she was given was plenty nourishing and hydrating)and the fact that she'd previously been given a flu shot should have also combated the virus enough to make her get better, but did no such thing, even worsens such facts for the poor felid.

Now, it's the next day, and since her seemingly sadistic Sunday is now past, it's obviously Monday, and, while Mondays are usually days that everyone hates, let's face it…any day that comes after the day prior to this one would, at least so far, be better than that also ironic Sunday(you know, since Sundays are generally the nicest, calmest and most desirable kinds of days for more than a few individuals, human or otherwise, and whether they are fictional or real)as far as Amelia's family and(well, DUH!)Amelia herself are fucking concerned.

Let's see if, regardless of how terrible she still feels, it is at least not as awful as her horrendous Sunday was, and let's not forget that Jim and Sarah are going to be visiting her in this chapter, which might at least take her mind off of how miserable she feels and give her something else to focus on, which I know quite a few of you must be anticipating on all counts.

THINGS TO NOTE:

For those of you who are wondering whether or not I'm going to be a little nicer to Amelia in this chapter despite still portraying her as plenty unhappy(big surprise)from how hellacious her current case of the flu is making her feel, my answer is as follows.

Maybe I will…maybe I won't…

You'll find out soon enough, though.

I own none of the characters. They all belong to "Treasure Planet", and I don't own any of the songs that I'll be using part of in any of the chapters, this one or otherwise, as they all belong to their respective artists.

Chapter 3-Monday

Awakening once more, Amelia noticed that it was later in the morning that it had been on Sunday morning or even Saturday morning after her mind's tangled knots were all untangled and she realized wasn't she sleeping anymore by how her bodily torture made itself known yet again.

Putting two and two together led to her finding out that it was Monday now and, judging by how her body wasn't quite in quite as much pain as it had been prior to her passing out on Sunday(though it was still plenty agonized, mind you), she had the following thoughts.

"OOOOOOGH…couldn't I still be sleeping? It's Monday morning, no doubt, the way I'm seeing more daylight than I did yesterday morning, which means it must be later today than it was yesterday, and although I'm glad that my remedies must have finally done their thing, given that I'm feeling a little less awful than I did yesterday morning, I still hate the shape I'm in, since I can barely move enough to do that rolling over thing that I did in bed that helped me sleep when I did it and am still so covered in illness, covers and robe combination produced sweat that one would think I had just gotten out of a swimming pool while wearing what nightgown I'm currently in."

But there were voices she heard that didn't belong to any member of her family, but did belong to two very close friends of hers, specifically Jim Hawkins and his mother, Sarah, who had obviously been called to come visit her, although accordingly like her family and everyone else who might visit her would, since she was ultra contagious, and here's what they said.

"Amelia? It's me, Jim, and Mom's here, too. Delbert and the kids called us when they decided it might be nice to have two good friends visiting along with their being here to tend to your needs and desires while you're so, so ill. Damn, why the hell would anyone want you to be this way? Why did it have to happen? But look on the bright side…you at least have those closest to you, family or otherwise, here to keep you as much company and give you as much care as possible."

"JIB!" exclaimed Amelia as her eyes flew wide open with joy and happiness and she suddenly didn't feel what excruciating pain she was in quite as much as she had upon waking up yet again. "AB SAWAH'S EAR, TOOB! YOR BOF SUJ A FOUND POR FOR EARB!"

"That, and wait'll you find out what Jib's going to be serving you for breakfast this morning!" Sarah told her.

"Ah, yeth, Chib." Amelia replied. "Err turd eddybay, an id bee ob gate puddishbet eeder bay, da wave jee poke toobe yepperbay boardig."

"Huh? What do you mean, Amelia?" asked Sarah, and Jim then added in: "What did she say, Amelia?"

After Amelia told them both what Jib said to her the morning before, their eyes opened widely and Jim said: "Oh, my God! When did her little heart become so black?"

Sarah then added: "Now, now, Jim, let's not go THAT far. It was certainly unkind and rather selfish of her, to be sure, but she wasn't saying any of that 'HA! I'm feeling fine and you're not!' or 'Better you than me.' or 'Damn, I sure hope you die!' kind of crap."

"Okay, true, but still, I'm taken aback by how she could speak that way to her own mother when she's got this horrible condition and that same mother was previously sweet to her and/or her siblings when they had some kind of illness disabling them, much like their father was. She could have been, oh, I don't know, sweet to Amelia herself?" Jim replied.

"I see what you mean, but moving on to something more pleasant, that breakfast that Jib's got planned for you today? It consists of blueberry pancakes and various liquids in tall glasses, including a blend of earl-grey tea and liquid lozenges, and, of course, plenty of water, as you'll find out in what ones you drink containing them, some of which also have liquid TUMS mixed in there. That, and the pancakes and water are not only chock full of Vitamin B12 and Vitamin B6, as well, not to mention just as laced with cough medicine, which is also in your earl-grey tea, but decongestant is spread all around every last inch of everything, as is a very special substance which will make sure that you do not gain weight, and if you have gained any, it will be eliminated, plus do not get a stomachache, as what you're given will digest fast, along with it being so filling, warm and drowsiness inducing that you'll undoubtedly fall asleep in one minute, at most, if not half that amount of time." Sarah stated.

"BELB…" Amelia said, opening her eyes as widely as her debilitating, disabling sickness would allow. "Zhee muss realby bee sorreigh abow gow pe acped yepperday add ith oothing thith ath a gessure ob dat."

"This and the way that she was going to go along with Matey's suggestion that everything be bursting with the best kind of flavor to the point where what you were given yesterday would seem bland and it would seem like you were in heaven squared, anyway, yes." Sarah let Amelia know. "Just like the others were, and the fact that the amount of remedy matter in it all would make what amount was in your breakfast yesterday morning look like a bunch of few and spread far away specks was also agreed on, quite understandably, compounds all of what I just said nicely."

"Ooobo," Amelia said to Sarah and Jim, "wippa waydatt thigs were yepperay ann dabay deyar ripe dow, onmb cud, ant moph liggli wud, cobsiber bith deironee uvva yeer. Apper all, ips yoosle Sunnays zath ebreud wuvs add Mobays bat ebreybuddy hathes. Bubbow, ipsee uvver ay abound."

"True, kind of like it's the other way around in terms of who's got the illness and who takes care of who for it." Sarah nodded. "Granted, this has happened before, including once with my Jimmy boy here, but you know what I mean, especially given what I just pointed out about that one time."

She looked at Jim with a teasing smile for emphasis, while her son just rolled his eyes and said: "Yeah, yeah, I know, but don't force me to remind you that you were just as helpless, agonized and miserable back then than Amelia currently is, if not more of all three of those things, when it happened. Every bit as contagious, as well, again, if not more so. Oh, wait, I just did. HA!"

"That was an awfully low blow you just struck there, Jim." frowned Sarah, and Amelia then asked: "Wape, yoober?" and Sarah told her: "I'm afraid so, though Jim did a damn good job tending to me, but yes, I was, which I'm now dismayed to tell you because, ironically, of that same Jim. Really, did you have to embarrass me like that while we were talking to the captain?"

"Seeing as how you started the whole damn thing by telling her about it, I'd have to say…yeah." Jim replied. "But anyway, we'll stay where we are, or, alternatively, one or both of us will be behind some other wall that's on the other side of this room, for as long as you like. You more than deserve it, given what the hell you're going through, and it's pretty fitting I would be the one to tell you this, the way that you're the reason I became what I am today."

"Guy…guy fanks…" Amelia told them, and as if on cue, she then heard the words: "Mommy, breakfast time. You're going to see this as a dream come true, much like it'll quickly put you in dreamland."

"Beah, Sabbah add Jibbere juth tolbe so ubbon maggin deir pesence gown." Amelia said after hearing the words in a voice which was clearly the one that belonged to Jib.

"Ah, how wonderful!" said Jib. "Thanks for saving me the trouble of telling her how sorry I am for how I acted yesterday and what we've put in all of this, you two!"

"Sure thing." Jim said, and Sarah added: "No problem."

"By the way," Jim added in, "it's worth pointing out that, while we found out about that gesture of apology thing during the time you were putting together that breakfast following how we were called and got here, both for brightening your mom's day some, if possible, and giving her others to talk to along with you and your family, whether they lessened anything bad about how you are feeling or not, we were ready to hear about how nice all four of her kids were being to her along with her husband, and that they were being just as kind and warm, as well."

"We didn't think that there would be any exceptions, so you shocked us, which will stop being so after you've made up for what you said like you're about to." Sarah put across.

"Until then, don't come anywhere near either of us." Jim warned, and Jib said: "All right, all right. Besides, from the sound of things, I'm not going to be anywhere near either of you until I do what I now will and leave where I am to do it. But enough chitchat here. Get ready for the, and this is NOT a pun, mother of all gourmet breakfasts, Mommy!"

"Oh, Ipe mell meyond rebbey." Amelia said. "Leth habbit."

And so it was that Jib now made up for her mistake of being a tad malicious towards her poor, sick mother by making sure that not a drop or crumb of what she was given was left, and it was only too easy for Amelia to open her mouth widely enough to consume it all.

Yup, when the special mechanical arm presented to her exactly what had been described on that tray and did its thing like before, Amelia wasted not a second in consuming every last molecule of what she was being presented, and much to her elation, it was just the way Sarah had described it in terms of how good it was.

In fact, just after the arm went back out through the wall and turned solid again, instead of how it was the other way around when it was put in, she was still heard chewing and drinking.

She didn't remember the last time she'd eaten and/or drunk something this fabulous, and by the time that she was finished, she told Jib: "Tankyu, Jib. Beporehad, parda yo apowogee wuz assepded. Dow allub itis, dough Ibe bager I'll be falleg abweep guide sood, so pleabe mage toor doo ann ebreywud elf here keepth deir eythe ab eerbs obben shuddib be deeded thatibe gibben bore aid, thoughu cannall inneract asoowill whilbysbeep slong asoo do if gietly."

"Of course, Mommy. And man, you must have really needed that!" Jib told her. "You really were more voracious than I've ever known you to be in my life, even if it has only been a short one at the moment."

"Wund yoob agg lige Iid justh dow ip yooere inmi basishun?" asked Amelia, and Jib sighed: "You know, you're right. Who am I to judge someone in that state, especially my own mother, when this is no different than I'd be if I had the flu…well, except I'd have an even bigger craving, and that's saying something, so yeah, I see what you mean."

"Gudda knobe." Amelia told her, but then she fell asleep as though she'd been hit over the head with a frying pan and knocked out as a result, though thankfully this happened in a way so that she hit the pillow with the back of her head so that it was in the center and every last one of the covers were totally, well, covering her except for the aforementioned head, so it was no problem that she'd be this dead asleep in this particular position.

"Okay, I think it's safe to say that we should now pay attention to the other ones here and leave her be, along with remember what she said about said interaction." Jim said at a low volume, and while he, Sarah, Jib and the others got into this and that while making sure that nothing woke Amelia up, the latter was sleeping as though she'd had insomnia for days galore and she was not feeling as godawful as she had been, even if it was due in no small part to how fast she lost consciousness.

Unhappily, it wasn't all that long until nothing but comforting blackness suddenly turned to nightmarishness for her, as she saw herself wearing her signature/trademark captain's outfit, but also in a hellhole of sorts which one could consider the Christian version of hell blended with a boiler room, a dungeon and a coal mine.

"What…what in the name of God is this?" Amelia exclaimed. "Where in the world am I? How did I get here?"

Seeing that she was wearing the uniform that came to mind when someone mentioned her name more often than not and indeed that she wore almost exclusively as far as attire went, during her voyages or otherwise, she wanted to be glad about that, but it was too much of an overwhelming and confusing sight to see what kind of a ghastly, macabre place she was suddenly in for no apparent reason for that kind of thinking.

"Where in the world are you, puss? That's easy." said a bass deep voice that would terrify even Eli Roth and/or Stephen King.

Amelia, scared for the first time in years, went pale and subsequently saw a giant hellhound, a hellhound which would make even other hellhounds cry in fright, and there were three hellcats that were quite big, too(though only half the size of the hellhound)and every bit as scary, when she heard a loud hiss they all made together and turned around to see them behind her.

Becoming increasingly terrified, our wondrous captain of a fabulous feline fan favorite was told by the part of the latter trio who was clearly the lead hellcat, whose voice sounded a great deal like that of Ghostface from the "Scream" franchise, and who was sporting an evil, cruel grin just like the other two hellcats and of course the hellhound was: "You're in Horrorland, Amelice!"

Then the hellcat to the right of their leader, whose voice sounded like the Candyman from, you guessed it, the "Candyman" franchise, told her: "And you're late, you're late, for a very important date…WITH DEATH, BITCH!"

The one to the left of her, whose voice sounded just like the one that belonged to Scar from "The Lion King" subsequently said: "You might think that said death will be at the paws of the hellhound and our own."

They fused into one giant hellcat and it said, with a voice that was thundering and deep, kind of like the way Quan Chi from "Mortal Kombat" sounded, but three times as much on both counts, the words: "And you are partly correct, but there are a few other guests who will be joining your ass in this killer terror party of ours. Like the vast rabbit demon and the Bad Hatter, who you will be seeing to the left and right of you, respectively."

Amelia looked to first the left of her and then the right to find out whether or not she was being lied to in order to make it so that she couldn't fight back due to further fear, but she saw that this was not so…as she saw the left of where she was, and sure enough, a giant rabbit demon(think the white rabbit from that "7 Floors Of Hell" attraction in Cleveland, but with black fur)a second before seeing that Bad Hatter(he looked like a cross between the original Mad Hatter and Freddy Krueger)upon looking to the left of her.

She was now paler than the moon and absolutely paralyzed with fear, and the Bad Hatter said: "Come, come now. We'll kill her, sure enough, but I'm told this cat lady loves tea, cakes, the whole shebang. Can't she at least enjoy those things one last time via a special tea party of my own creation? It would be so much fun, so fitting and so ironic a way to spend one's final moments, especially with it being an integral part of this sort of thing."

"Fine, then." the hellhound said after considering the Bad Hatter's words along with the hellcat combo and the rabbit demon, who nodded in unison.

"Just be sure to make it so that she doesn't find any way to escape after we're done." said the rabbit demon, who had a voice identical to that of Judge Claude Frollo from Disney's "The Hunchback Of Notre Dame".

It then looked up to Amelia, who was now more amazed than frightened, and struck by the irony of all of this, given what she was obviously in a macabre parody of and that she was English with a name that began with "A", just like the Alice she was obviously filling the slot of was.

Looking down at it after it said: "By the way…" Amelia would then hear: "…while not as often as mice or birds, cats have eaten rabbits. Although whether or not you have yourself is unknown, it is also irrelevant, as I must ask you…wouldn't it be such a hoot for it to be the other way around? I propose that, after the tea party's done, we put on a performance of that."

"NO!" Amelia said firmly. "I will allow no such thing, and…"

While about to continue her refusal and declining of the rabbit demon's fiendish suggestion of an evil idea, during which time she had been pointing her right index finger down at him for emphasis, the Bad Hatter, who, I forgot to mention(sorry)had even more of a British accent than Amelia did(he sounded like a male version of her, as a matter of fact!), called: "Tea's ready!"

So they all sat down at the table, each one being served up their plates and teacups, and the triple combo hellcat sat on Amelia's lap, saying: "Let's make sure she can't get away in the way that's guaranteed to keep her trapped, giving the tripling of weight here, and to be the irony of the century."

"HA, HA! Now that IS quite the irony and sure means to keep her from getting away, indeed!" put across the rabbit demon. "Just be sure not to warm her up too much, be it from your body heat or her sweat. After all, I like my meat raw, as you and everyone else here except, until now, for the soon to be feline flavored food here, very well know."

Amelia commented: "You know, last time I checked, rabbits were vegetarians."

"Most of us are…" the rabbit demon nodded, "…but there are exceptions. Hell, we're experiencing a big time one here…you're very hard to scare, CAPTAIN. Oh, yes, indeed, MA'AM, it's very difficult to frighten you. Not impossible, though, and that is being proven by all that we are doing to you here. Why are we, you might wonder? Because we're evil, nasty, fiendish, demonic, sadistic, heartless, devilish, satanic assholes, that's why."

He and the others burst out laughing(except Amelia, of course, now full of disbelief and quite jarred, all while trying to ignore how understandably and justifiably frightened she was, even though it was so unlike her to feel even a drop of fear and so rare that you'd think that what moments she did feel any of it were as hard to find and tiny as specks), just before the Bad Hatter said: "Wait a second…there's a problem here."

Everyone looked at him and the hellhound asked: "What's that, Bad Hatter?"

"We've got all the dishes and utensils and cups and napkins and such here, sure enough, but I can't find any of the tea, cakes or anything else I was meaning to give everyone here anywhere. Where did it all go? I could have sworn we had plenty of all of those things right at this table before anyone sat down. Didn't I put it all here myself? Hold it…now I know why something's wrong."

"And why is that?" asked the hellhound, as he and everyone who had captured Amelia and brought her to this table along with them looked at him, wondering why themselves.

The Bad Hatter then began laughing evilly and saying: "THE TEA WAS GOING TO BE MADE FROM HER BLOOD!" while pointing at Amelia. "AND THE FOOD WAS GOING TO BE MADE FROM HER FLESH, ORGANS AND BONES! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Amelia could only blink as everyone went right for her and the seat she was sitting in burst into flames along with how toxic black fumes and shackles with barbed chains went into her and cuffed her down, respectively, and as the shackles made spikes go into her wrists and ankles while she gasped for breath and felt herself being literally eaten alive, she could only scream: "E-RAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Her screaming continued when she was shot awake and also, much to her alarm and further agony(her body was continuing to be a world of pain for her whenever she was awake, remember?), she suddenly had to piss and shit.

Fortunately, she saw that the mechanical arm was right there with a toilet and all she'd need for relieving herself to go with it, clearly having given its signal just before she flew awake, and she also noticed there were things that were just as clearly meant to calm fright and dull pain, so she pulled off everything she was wearing(read: tore it off with her claws)and did all she could to ignore how much worse(which is saying something)her entire damn body felt as she put everything she had into the flip which was just enough to get her ass and pussy onto the toilet seat in time for her pissing and shitting to occur without any kind of problem.

Suddenly, she heard the toilet flush itself and eliminate any and all traces of both of her kinds of essentials, both from itself, her asshole and her pussy lips, with a special concoction meant for specifically that purpose, plus she also felt the unmistakable feeling of painkillers being used on her, not to mention that the aforementioned concoction cleaned every other last bit of her as well, making it so she was no longer sweating, either, she noticed, along with how it, while wet at first, was fast drying, so she was now like(at least externally)a healthy version of herself in the nude.

"Mommy? What happened?" asked what was clearly Matey's voice from behind the wall after they heard Amelia do another flip, this time back into bed, and pull the covers back on fast due to how cold she now was.

Matey continued: "Me and the others agreed with Daddy that it would be my turn the next time this mechanical arm was used." as they made it intangible and pulled it out of the wall before it turned solid again. "So I took my turn and thought up everything that you'd need from the sound of things, and from what the screen altered us about, to be put onto that tray as quick as I could, and we got to what wall we extend this arm through just as all other times before, this time courtesy of that third daughter of yours."

She thumped herself on the chest proudly and went on: "But although everything else we did makes it so that you won't start sweating or have watering eyes or sneezing or coughing unless it starts up again like it would naturally at whatever time it would with anyone if it did, with the same going for all else that happens when one has the flu and any kind of need to relieve oneself at any time, regardless of condition, I am sorry to say that the effects of the pain killers are only temporary."

While Amelia's eyes flew wide open at hearing the last one, thinking to herself: "No…just when I thought I was rid of the pain at last…" she did say to Matey: "Kank…Kank yoove plor allob whaddoo dib mor me…Maddie."

"It was no problem at all." Matey told her. "But to go back to what I asked…what happened, Mommy? You were screaming loud even for someone who was in as much pain as you and, briefly, had to relieve themselves as badly as you did. You were sleeping previously. Did you have a nightmare or what?"

"Nidebare ithnta word." Amelia replied. "Ibzo guld jusnow, doo. Byd…byd zith haboo haben…I wath tho warb ad snug ann cothy at fahsth asweeb…"

Further wrapping around herself of her covers and burying her head into the pillows as so to try and warm herself again, shivering and squeezing herself tightly, she heard her husband say from outside: "Dear, might I suggest blocking out whatever it was that frightened you so, as well as entertaining the thought of your favorite things, as so to hopefully fall asleep again in order to spare yourself further physical pain for as long as possible and, of course, not feel scared anymore?"

"Gud…gud ibea…ganks…alloboo…" Amelia responded, adding: "…I reewwy amb dankful…ips bost likewy beenalogdime sinf I wuddis grafful to hab whonwadi doog."

"Our pleasure, mommy." Sunny said. "Please do get well soon." Delbert told her as they all left, and Amelia followed her husband's advice, refusing to remember what dream from hell she'd just gone through for even a second and basking in the delightful glow of envisioning her favorite things, and although it took a bit, especially since she was so cold and she could feel the abysmal shape her body was in reminding her it was still there via the pain coming back, she was able to fall back asleep once more, though she still felt cold until she was no longer awake.

During these moments in which she tried out what her husband suggested, which she was so glad eventually worked, she didn't hear the following words being sung in the background and neither did anyone else, but they were being sung and here's what they were.

Whenever she is raging, she takes a life away!

Haven't you seen?

Haven't you seen…

…the ruins of our world?

Back down Amelia's family went to where Jim and Sarah had been, and while the two humans would have at once helped with Amelia's nightmare and self-relief problems if they had not been needed to keep eyes and ears open for things that might or might not happen where they were while Amelia's husband and children went to come to her aid, they were glad when they got the news they did from Delbert, Matey, Tillie, Sunny and Jib.

They were also commended for making sure things stayed as they needed to be when it was, well, needed of them and knew that Jim and Sarah alike would have taken part in what had to be done for Amelia's well being without hesitation if it weren't for said requirement of that which was the making sure of things in question.

"Lucky thing is," said Jim, "that Amelia was able to feel good and fall asleep after Jib gave her that out of this world level great breakfast and is now able to sleep once more after the pain's been eliminated, even if briefly, along with being fixed up as far as cleanness goes, so I think it's safe to say that she's lucky enough she won't have another nightmare."

"Agreed." everyone else said in unison, and Sarah then added: "And even if she does, we'll always be there for her to help with that and any and all other problems she might have the misfortune to come across." which elicited nods from everybody else present.

CHAPTER 3 HAS ENDED

Well, that's it for the third chapter, though you'll be getting something that will be, instead of a mixture of laughter about and pity towards what's happening with Amelia, it'll be straight up laughter, instead, though I won't spoil the surprise as to how so.

And hey, my choice of song for what portion I'd use for this chapter being "Ice Queen" by Within Temptation?

Well, given how Amelia dreamed about having her life taken away while that and what pain she was put through after waking up from it really was ruining her world, plus the pre-pain killer pain was raging, just like she was when ripping off her nightgown and leaving it ruined, don't you think that makes the most sense in terms of what song I'd select?

My point exactly.

Wait a minute…I think see someone…BEN?

"Yeah, it's me, Bloodlustful! I thought you were going to treat the captain better in this chapter! You told me that you were going to take it easier on the poor captain! You promised!"

Newsflash, BEN…I had my fingers crossed.

"You're an asshole!"

Of course I am, Benny Boy.

LMAO.

I just cannot stop injecting dark humor into this story, you know?

Ratings and reviews, please!