(thump. thump. thump.)
"What's going on—"
(gasp. crash. scream.)
"It's Akatsuki! We're under attack!"
"Iruka, gather your chuunin and evacuate the villagers!"
"Sakura-chan, Sasuke, let's go!"
(thump. thump. thump.)
"Sasuke-kun?"
Are you going to fight with us?
Now that Itachi is gone, will you fight with us?
Fight for us?
"Teme, come on! We're going to die if you stand there thinking—"
"Naruto, there is no way I'm letting you out on the front lines—"
"Baa-chan, I'll be fine—"
Sasuke-kun. Sasuke-kun. Sasuke-kun.
Sasuke?
"Sasuke-kun, come on, please." Please. "We need you."
All we've ever done was try to save you.
Try to help you.
All I've ever done was love you.
If not for me, for them?
(crash. jerk—)
"Sasuke! Will you, or will you not fight for Konoha?"
"Oi, teme, c'mon! This isn't a time for your stupid revenge moments!"
"Sasuke-kun, please, you have to do this—"
Just this once. Please. Please.
Please.
(thump. thump. thump.)
(…quiet.)
During the day, when Sasuke was gone, she had limited things to do.
1. Check up on patients.
2. Eat.
3. Sleep.
4. Practice Resident Evil, and hope that she survived longer than Naruto (for once).
New patients always came with Sasuke. He took the defects personally from Akatsuki, before delivering them back here.
Today, Sakura decided to do some minimal exploring.
The kitchen was a place she often avoided, because the last time she tried to make something relatively easy (coffee, to be exact) back when she was with Akatsuki, the pot overflowed, and she got into some major trouble.
(at that time, itachi wasn't around, but she almost wished he was. because deidara was the one who punished her.)
But she felt safer here. In a place where only she and Sasuke were, it felt like mistakes were okay. Mistakes were fine. Mistakes were part of the learning process.
She found some packets in the cupboard that said hot chocolate.
(it sounded warm and sweet and homey. it didn't sound like sasuke.)
She turned one of the packets around and found instructions. She didn't know this, but her eyes shone a little brighter, because she could follow instructions very well, and went about to make this hot chocolate, and see if it really was warm and sweet and homey.
In an approximate time of ten minutes, she had a mug of steaming hot chocolate. And there was this swelling in her stomach—
(pride?)
—this indescribable feeling that just made her so…content with herself. Satisfied. She drank from the cup, burning her tongue in the process, but—
But it tasted like happiness.
She sat at the island in the middle of the kitchen, sipping at her hot chocolate happily. (It was her new favorite drink, she decided. Not that she ever had a favorite drink.)
Just as she finished, and was washing her cup in the sink, she heard the front door open. A feeling bubbled at the bottom of her stomach—she identified it to be excitement—and she hurried to finish washing it so she could tell Sasuke about her new discovery.
(because sasuke would listen. sasuke would raise his eyebrow amusedly, and put a hand on her head.)
But the person at the front door wasn't Sasuke. He was very similar to Sasuke, but not Sasuke.
This person made her stand up straight and cringe every time he made a major movement.
Itachi.
(the person who made her wipe her mind and forget all emotions.)
"Itachi-sama," she immediately greeted, almost on instinct. She bowed her head and stepped to the side so he could walk past her.
There was a long silence, and she peered up at him. His dark eyes were on her, calculating, inspecting, before he finally nodded. "Doctor," he greeted, before making his way further into the mansion.
She waited for a few moments before straightening up and releasing a sigh.
That was right. She didn't belong to him anymore—he couldn't control her anymore. Before she had a chance to bump into him again, she hurried to her room.
(it was so strange, because she had never felt fear towards itachi. only indifference—because until she met sasuke, she never knew what feelings were. until she met sasuke, she didn't realize that she was afraid of itachi.)
She stayed in her room for the rest of the day, becoming acquainted with the feeling known as fear.
FADING
A W A Y
There was a knock on her door a little before midnight. She mumbled a come in from her bed, but she was sure the person on the other side couldn't hear her.
He came in anyway.
(he always did.)
She lay there, unmoving, underneath the covers. Her eyes were half-lidded, mind devoid of thoughts—the way it was before she met Sasuke. It was warm and comfortable here—she didn't want to move. It'd be okay if she spent the rest of her life here.
"I have some new patients," he told her tonelessly, leaning against her doorframe. "Some are in pretty bad shape."
She inhaled deeply before pulling herself from the warm confines of her soft, soft bed. "Okay." She walked passed him without another word. Her feet felt strangely heavy—kind of like she was dragging them with her as she made her way down into the basement. She wasn't sure if she felt safe here anymore—she never knew what might be lurking around the corner. Itachi? Deidara? Some other Akatsuki member?
Another patient, ready to strangle her?
She didn't notice that Sasuke had followed her, and was watching her work until she turned around to throw some gauze out. A thought crossed her mind, and as she moved to the next patient, she spoke.
"I made hot chocolate today."
He sounded vaguely amused. "Did you."
"Yeah. It tasted…really good." She paused. "Sweet."
"Naruto probably stashed it there for later when I wasn't looking. I don't drink hot chocolate."
"I've never seen you eat sweets," she said. "But you really like tomatoes."
(those red things he ate the way naruto ate ramen. he made them look so delicious.)
"You observe a lot."
"It's the only thing I really know how to do." She placed her hands gingerly on the ankle of her patient. "I'm going to reset your bone, so it will hurt." Without warning, she set the bones straight, and the man grunted, his face scrunching up. She flinched with him. "Sorry."
"Fuckin' bitch," she heard him mutter under his breath.
(loathing her, hating her, like they always did, although she never knew what she did wrong.)
"You're in room eleven. Can you find your way, or would you like me to take you there?"
"I can get there myself, thanks." The sarcasm in his voice was painfully obvious. She backed away a little as he limped out of the room.
That was the last one. Suddenly remembering, she shuffled to the desk in the corner and retrieved a piece of paper. "Here's the new list." She handed it to him, and he quickly scanned through it, dark eyes running up and down, before he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
She waited for a moment before asking. "May I come with you the next time you send them away?" When he didn't answer, she persisted. "It'll be at night, and no one will see me! I'll even cover my hair and stuff." He still didn't answer. He was thinking about it, she thought. "Please?"
Finally, he sighed. "Fine. I'm going tonight, actually, so you might not want to sleep."
She smiled a little—
(because she was never sure how to smile completely)
—and continued to clean up her working area with antiseptic, quite cheerily.
"Sasuke-sama, do you remember when you asked me if I knew how to feel?"
There was a way that he looked at her that she couldn't quite place. "Yes."
"I think I can feel now." A small smile graced her lips.
His eyes never left her.
"You make me feel."
Trucks were fascinating. They were big and noisy, and you could place people into the back.
She stared through the windows at the outside world; the streetlights, the different types of cars on the roads, the signs, the people on the sidewalks—she had never seen these things before, and she found all of it captivating.
(and it was all possible because of him.)
They drove for well over an hour, until the city lights melted away into darkness. Soon, she became a little bored of staring out the window to see only darkness, and eventually dozed off. She only woke up when Sasuke shook her shoulder lightly.
The night air was chilly—something she had never experienced before—and when she looked up at the sky, she was surprised to find that the clouds were gone.
"What are those?" she asked Sasuke, pointing skywards.
He momentarily followed her gaze. "Stars."
"And that's the moon?"
"Yes."
She could see water. The sea, she concluded. The air was damp and salty, and she savored it.
Meanwhile, Sasuke went to a nearby warehouse, and exchanged a few words with a man. After signing some papers, both of them came back and opened the back of the truck, allowing her patients to come out.
There was a small boat roped to the dock. One by one, they stepped onto it. Sakura watched silently as the last one boarded, and they were taken away by the man.
"Where do they go?" she asked Sasuke.
He was silent for a moment. "To a better place," he finally answered.
"Will I go there one day?"
(hope.)
He turned so he looked at her, but she couldn't quite make out his expression in the dark. "Do you want to go?"
She considered this for a moment. "Will you come with me?"
"No."
Her lips curved downward a little (a frown, she told herself—she was frowning). "I don't know, then." She didn't know what it was like in that "better place", but life with Sasuke right now was a nice one, in comparison to life with Akatsuki. Life with Itachi.
He looked at her for a long moment, as if contemplating something, but only gestured her to get back into the truck.
Neither said a word the entire way back.
(thump. thump. thump.)
"It's…gone."
(silence.)
"Sakura."
(inhale. exhale. inhale. exhale.)
"Konoha—Konoha's gone."
Everything I had ever worked for.
Everything I had ever strived to protect—
Gone, in the blink of an eye.
"Sakura."
"Sasuke-kun—" Listen to me. "Do you hear me? Konoha's gone. Naruto—Naruto's missing."
"Breathe, Sakura."
(thump, thump, thump—)
"There's no time to breathe—how can I breathe when everything is gone—"
My best friend's missing.
My mentor is in a coma.
My friends are injured. Some are dead.
And I did nothing to help them.
"Sakura, look at me."
Exhale. "Sasuke-kun."
(thump, thump, thumpthumpthump—)
Give me something to believe.
Give me a reason to keep walking.
(inhale…)
"I'm still here."
(…exhale.)
"Can you keep a secret?" She nodded. She could do anything Sasuke told her to.
They were standing in the middle of the kitchen, just after breakfast. He gestured for her to stand back, and she did so.
"For some odd reason, I can do this." He set his hands into numerous different odd patterns, before placing one right around his mouth. She waited, anxious to see what he was doing.
And then he made a small ball of fire.
He blew fire. Sasuke could blow fire.
"That's not possible," she said, even though it happened right before her eyes. "I've read nearly all of the medical books in your library—I've never read anything about breathing fire."
(sasuke was always different.)
"That's because it's not supposed to be possible," he said simply. "But it is."
"How…?"
"I've been having dreams for a long time, now. Years, actually." He sat down at the kitchen table, and she took the seat beside him. "They started when I was a teenager, but they've become more prominent. Almost like…a story. Each dream happens chronologically from the last one."
She wanted to say something, but didn't know what. Should she tell him that she had dreams too? But she didn't remember any of them. She never did.
"But for some reason, in my dreams…you've always been in there."
She looked at him in surprise. "Me?"
(he dreamt of her.)
"Sakura." He face was so expressionless. "I want to know you better. I don't believe in spirits, and I'm not religious or superstitious—but this is right in front of me, and I want to find out more."
"Is that why you kept me?" She swallowed. "Because you dreamt of me?"
"Yes."
He never kept her because of her medical skills. He never kept her because he wanted to care for her.
He kept her because he wanted to find out more about himself.
She pressed her lips tightly together, feeling emotions well up in her stomach. They didn't feel like nice emotions, so she wiped her mind clean, her face just as blank as his.
Without a word, she left the room.
"Sasuke-sama…?"
"You fell asleep on the couch again."
She sighed, and rested her head against his shoulder as he carried her bridal style back to her room. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine. Did you have a bad dream?"
"I…don't remember." She never remembered.
"I see."
"Why?"
"You were crying."
Sasuke looked up from his desk, glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. "Are you still angry with me?"
And it felt like she was. Every time she saw him, she felt this irritating burn, like she wanted to break something—preferably his face. But she'd never do that—her life depended on him. But that didn't stop her from feeling.
(didn't stop her from being human.)
She tried to keep her dignity. Chin held high, she fought to keep back tears.
"I dream, too."
notes: i think it's safe to say that not everything in this fic can be considered "real". i suppose it borders fantasy? or whatever. it's "magical surrealism", ooh! (sorry, that's linked to a lot of stuff in my english class lately.)
i wasn't planning to update this for a while, but it's sakura's birthday today! (plus, it's finally spring break for me. MAYBE I CAN SLEEP NOW. and write more.)