FOLLOW THE LEADER I - IT'S NO GOOD
II – SANDELWOODEN SANCTUARY
After Leo had gotten into his room and closed the door he had to stop to catch his breath. It was always literally a breathtaking experience when arguing with Raph – even if there wasn't any physical battle involved in. The emotional bother was enough of burden.
What it actually is in Raph that gets under my shell that easily?
Leonardo leaned his shell against the shut door closing his eyes.
He's annoying. Arrogant. Rude. Aggressive. Thoughtless and impulsive... And thousand other things I just can't explain right now.
Of course Leo and Raph had always had arguments, just like all brothers through out the world, no matter were they humans or mutants. Leo had argued with everyone of his brothers. Mike for example was the true god of annoyance when he was in the right mood. Their most common arguments were about the different ways to view the world: as Leo relied on discipline and order, Mike had always prefered the 'go with the flow' -lifestyle.
Although they were kind of like bickering about the same matter as Leo and Raph, Leo never saw his and Mike's quarrels as fights. They were just some little wrangles brothers usually did have.
On the other hand meaningless little quarrels were something that Leo never had to face with Don. On the contrary, when he and Don fought, it was a real world war III. But to get Don lash out at anyone usually required to hurt Donatello. He never put up a fight just to amuse himself, unlike his other two brothers seemed to be doing every now and then.
Suddenly Leo shivered. He could still remember a specific fight couple years ago, when he had told Don he was spending too much time in front of the computer.
"It's not healthy, Don. Mutant turtles' anatomy weren't made for sitting in front of a screen",Leo had remarked,
"Sooner or later you'll loose your sense of sight."
Leo hadn't really said anything Don could have disagreed with Leo. Don did spend a lot of time surrounded by his devices, and he wasn't like Mike, who was a natural born athletic, or like Raph, who was obsessed by keeping his body in shape. And he certainly wasn't like Leo, eager to control every one of his movements from the beginning till the very end. But nonetheless, Don was better than good. They all were.
Still Leo had made the mistake to go too far with his lecture:
"We don't have the time to cover you on the field, Don. Get a grip of yourself."
Donatello had always had a humble attitude towards his ninjatraining, and he certainly was dedicated to the matter. The simple bo-staff turned into a lethal weapon in his hands, and his strikes seldomly missed their target.
Don had lashed out at Leo, ranting about all the times he had saved the day by offering a technic solution for the problems they had been forced to face.
"You see, Leo, it's not always the brawling that counts or saves our shells, you know. I don't even have the slightest idea how you guys would manage with out me", Don had yelled at him, pointing then out an impressive list of cases when Leo had made nearly fatal mistakes on the field. Don's memory was startlingly punctual.
"So, if my ninja skills aren't good enough because I'm studying to be a better 'tech ninja', I guess I should stay away from your way!"
"But Don --"
Don had gone to his room and stayed behind the closed door the whole day. It had taken master Splinter to lure him out of there.
Their argument had made Leonardo to understand, that as a leader he should be able to recognize the specialities of his brothers. One turtle couldn't be the ultimate master of everything anyway.
But what really bugs me, is that I can't understand Raph's point of view, no matter how hard I try.
He certainly missed the times when he and Raph had arguments over nothing. When their little quarrels were really about who drank the last of the milk carton.
Still, I am the leader. I AM the leader. And most important of all, we are brothers.
Leonardo opened his eyes to glance at his room. It reminded the most Splinter's chamber with its ascetic and Japanese touch. He even slept on a futon like his master.
Maybe Raph's right: perhaps I really am being self-important.
His glance rested at his wooden bedside table, like he was trying to see through the wood to be sure that everything was in order in its drawer. Then he slowly walked to the table and opened the drawer, slightly shaking his head.
No. That's just Raph gotten into your head, Leonardo.
He found his incensesticks and candles placed in it in tidy rows.
And that's something you should watch out for, little voice in his head continued.
Leo took one white candle and a sandelwood incence lighting them on his nightstand table. Then he paced to the middle of the room seating himself in the lotusposition. Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes and emptied his mind.
The way of ninjutsu isn't something you can choose to do every day from nine to five, and then go back home to do something else. Raph should understand that perfectly well.
Or at least he tried to empty his mind.
But when did Raph become unreliable in my eyes? He's loyal to his causes what ever they are, he's honest and he has always been right there for me when I've needed him. When I'm injuried, he's the first to rush to help me. His caring towards our family is so intensive...
A sudden rush of warm feelings washed over Leonardo, when he remembered what Raph had said to him once when he was badly injuried in a battle against The Shredder:
"Ya little piece of shit! If ya dare ta die I'll beat the crap out of ya! Ya here me, Leo?! Leonardo! Answer, dammit!"
As ironic as it was, it was Raph's desperately demanding voice that had brought Leo back to consciousness.
We are on the same side, aren't we? Why shouldn't I take heed from his words? Why would he be wrong when accusing me to be a self-important excuse of a leader?
Leonardo realized he wasn't doing any good with emptying his mind. He inhaled and exhaled deeply and closed his eyes again.
Because he's just being the annoying, arrogant and aggressive hothead he is, that's why he's wrong. He's unable to see the bigger picture, unlike me. And that is one reason, why I'm the leader, not him.
The answer satisfied Leonardo, and he finally succeeded to clear his mind, and in minutes he fell into a peaceful meditation.