Back at the Urahara Shop...
"No, No! You're doing it all wrong, Tessai!" Exclaimed Isshin as he snatched the swtichboard and microphone from the burly shopkeeper. "Rukia-chan must kiss Ichigo, not Sado-san!"
"What?" Screeched Jinta, grabbing the switchbaord from Isshin. "There's no way I'm letting her kiss that orange haired creep!"
"Hah! You forgot to take the mic!" Isshin rejoiced, dangling the wire in front of the boy teasingly.
"Hey! Give me that!" Demanded Jinta, leaping up to grab it.
"Too late." Retorted Isshin, sticking out his tongue. He flicked on the mic. "Ichigo, Now what were we doing again? Oh yeah. Kiss me."
"Gah! You may have her voice, but I still have her body!" Jinta replied, frantically toggling switches. "Run away! Get away from him, Kuchiki-san!"
"I will not allow you to ruin this moment, boy! Hand me that switchboard!" Isshin replied, bounding onto Jinta's small frame, sucessfully managing to grab hold of the black box.
"Not a chance, old man! Give me the mic!" Jinta clambered on top of Isshin's stomach, attempting to wrench the microphone from Ishsin's tight grip, while clinging firmly to the switchbaord.
"Give up already!"
"No, you give up!'
"Jinta...Kurosaki-san...Maybe you should stop now..." Pleaded Ururu, with a tone of urgency. "You don't want to..."
CRACK!
The switchboard and Microphone both snapped in half, and the two drew apart, wide eyed.
"...Break it..." She finished, her wide blue eyes trembling nervously, her gaze now focused upon Urahara.
Urahara frowned. "Well, this isn't good." He remarked finally, still regarding the screen. A small figure dressed in black laughed manically, while chasing four other figures around a room. "Looks like Kuchiki-san has gone out of control."
He turned to face the employees and Isshin, smiling crookedly. He cocked his white and green hat. "We should probably get this all sorted out...We wouldn't want things to get too out of hand, now would we?"
CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!
Ichigo had decided at this moment that it seemed like Rukia had finally cracked (excusing the pun) under the pressure and gone insane. Or at any rate, that was his interpretion of the situation. For a moment, it had looked like Rukia seemed to be interested in Chad. But then she told him to kiss her, and if that wasn't confusing enough, she was running away from him at the same time. And now...
"Bow, you ungrateful wretches! Bow to your master! Queen Rukia-sama the fourth! MUAHAHA!"
Rukia pounced after Ichigo, Ishida, Orihime, and Chad, the only remaining members at the party. There was a steely glint in her wide indigo eyes as she brought out the whip again, lashing at them furiously.
"Meats and herbs! Lettuce and beets! Scrawny little men with two yellow feet! You never bring me anything useful! You are horrible subjects! And now, you shall be punished for killing Halloween!"
She landed on top of Chad, digging her spiked heels into his back.
"MUAHAHA! And you thought you could get away from me! Guess again, oh vile ones!"
Orihime whimpered as she saw her fallen comrade. The hem of her dress had frayed at this point, turning into jagged sections.
"Sado-kun!"
Ishida grabbed her hand. "Don't look back, she'll only take you too! Move! Sado-san will be alright!" He turned to Ichigo. "Switch into Shinigami form already and take care of it!"
"What?"
"Just do it already! I would do it, but my arrows would kill her."
"But Rukia...could get hurt!"
"If you haven't noticed by now, if you don't do something, we'll get hurt! We just need to knock her unconcious! Can you do that?"
"But..."
"MUAHAH! Your plotting is fruitless against my almighty power! Bow before me and allow yourselves to be rightously punished!"
Ichigo sighed, pressing the substitute shinigami badge to his chest. I don't have much of a choice now...But maybe I can just go easy on her.
"Rukia!" He yelled, addressing the leather sporting girl with a firm stance. He unsheathed Zangetsu from his back. "Forget about them, and punish me!"
Her lips curved into a rare smile. "It would be my pleasure, Ichigo." She replied breathily, unfurling her whip. "Now bow to me Ichigo! Bow!"
--
Ichigo had meant to simply parry her attacks, and maybe hit her once or twice over the head with the flat side of Zangetsu. It should have only taken five minutes, tops.
So how was it that the two of them had already been battling for about thirty minutes straight?
"When I'm through with you, there'll be nothing left to recognise!" Rukia shrieked, diving towards him, whip flailing about.
Ichigo blocked the attack, realising that even as she was chasing about him with an intent to kill...he still managed to find her completely attractive. He shook his head. No. That wasn't possible. He never liked Rukia. He never would.
Then why did he blush when he had been so sure he was about to be kissed? Why did he lean in then?
That was just a spur of the moment thing. It means absolutely nothing.
Right.
And why did he even bother to go to thie stupid Halloween party if he wasn't jealous of the possibilty of seeing Rukia with another guy?
Because...I'm a concerned friend!
And the only reason he found her attractive now...was because of her costume.
"Why are you getting so distracted? Are you giving up?"
The only reason he found himself drawn to her milky white skin, and her glittering blue eyes...was because of the costume.
The only reason he found himself admiring her taut, lean body...was because of her costume.
The only reason he found himself lured by her firey spirit and determination...was because of her costume.
I don't think of her in that way, do I?
I...don't. At least I think I don't.
"Caught you." Rukia murmured, her black whip wound tightly around his arms. "You were too distracted. Now, get ready for punishment!"
And oddly enough, as her body pressed closer to his...he found himself welcoming it.
"We're here to save the day!" Said Urahara, holding a long wooden cane in his arms. Flanked behind him was Isshin, Ururu, Jinta and Tessai, all with similar sheepish looks platered on their faces. "We're here to protect you from the Alpha Suit!"
"Alpha suit?" Asked Ichigo, more than a little distracted by Rukia's close presence.
"Oh!" Twittered Urahara, walking over to the pair. "Did I say Alpha Suit? I take that back. Now if you would please step aside, Ichigo-san?"
"I don't think that's really an option." Ichigo mumbled, referring to the whip binding him to Rukia.
"Gotten a little attached, I see." Commented Urahara. He turned to Rukia."Alpha V.4.10, could you please release Ichigo-san for me?"
Rukia's hand went into a mock salute, recoiling her whip. "Yes, Urahara-sama!"
"Alpha V.4.10?" Interrogated Ichigo. "And wait a minute, why is my dad here?"
"Urahara-sama?" Asked Ishida.
"Heh..heh...heh... Just forget everything you just heard and/or saw." Responded Urahara, using his cane to force Rukia's shinigami form out of her body. "I'll be taking this...er...Gigai. it seems to be slightly malfunctional. Anyway, none of that really matters. Here's the real Rukia!"
He gestured to the figure on the floor, who was rubbing the back of her head. "Wait a minute, this was your fault?" Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "You knew about this? You were the one controlling my body?"
Urahara laughed nervously. "My...my, a woman of so many questions...which I will answer sometime in the near future...once I get this gigai fixed and all...you know...and good job, Ichigo-san, managing to score one on Rukia-chan even when the controls were demolished...BYE!"
The shopkeeper, his employees, and Isshin suddenly vanished, leaving nothing but a cloud of residual dust.
Rukia groaned, propping herself up with her zampakutou. "I have such a horrible headache...I think I must have blacked out at one point, since I don't recall everyone leaving." She brushed her bangs out of her face and straightened. "Where's Keigo?"
"He got scared and left his own party." Ichigo replied, now back in his body. "Something about seeing you going around screaming 'I am Queen Rukia-Sama the fourth!' got him going."
"You really didn't need to stay behind like that either. Who knows what I could have done to you?" Rukia replied, noticing their torn outfits and battered bodies. Then something clicked. "Wait a moment...What did Urahara mean about 'scoring' one on me? Were we playing a game?"
Ichigo laughed nervously, scratching his tufts of orange hair as he backed away slowly. "Um...well you see...Rukia...Scoring can also generally have another...meaning."
"Such as what?" Replied Rukia, watching him with interest, as she gripped her zampkutou in her hands.
"Well...You know...some people use it to loosely refer to um...kissing...funny story really..."
He broke into a full fledged sprint.
"BAKA!" Thundered Rukia, storming after him.
A/N: Weak ending, I know. I could have done a better one, but I'm generally a lazy person. Oh well. If I ever get around it it,I will change it.