I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin
A/N: There are going to be two more chapters and then it'll be done~. Slight Yuri, hence the rating. Remember, set before Fall of Wall Maria. Sort of an AU but hey, fan fiction, eh?
Her name was Ymir.
She had been wandering the territory of Titans for decades. It was only twenty years ago that she had learned that humans, the source that satiated her hunger, had done their hunting in the great forest here. Over half a century of her life came as a blur, at times she could hardly remember where she came from but she had spent years learning to be able to retain her mind, controlling her form and having thoughts similar to a human.
She would question if she was human at all.
The only thing that kept her in check was her capability of speech, her knowledge of life before fleeing to the outside world, and her ability to hold emotions.
Sure, she had kept her distance from the people but Hanji was definitely not the first nor last that she had come into personal contact with. Like the Titans all around her, Ymir found herself craving for flesh, she was almost tempted to consume her and yet something prevented her from doing so. She felt drawn to keep her alive.
The woman was injured, it was something that didn't suit Ymir too well despite devouring many over years, injured or not. Maybe there was more than just a slight attraction but she pushed it away. No, she wanted to prove to herself that she could retain human emotions, she had to; after all, this was the first time she had unlocked the ability to discard her form as a Titan.
They walked side by side.
Hanji wanted to keep a conversation up so that she wouldn't drift away. Every once in a while, darkness would come into her eyes and obscure her vision but her savior kept her walking, not stopping for rest. Despite going under the assumption that her savior could slay Titans single-handed, she felt that her urgency to continue moving meant that there was more to her than Hanji could figure.
"What's your name?"
The woman gave a quick glance at her before looking around the forest to ensure that Titans were not following. As she scanned the area, she replied,"I have none."
"Really?"
"No, what about you?"
Hanji heaved out a breath and stopped, forcing her companion to pause as well. She breathed,"I won't...I won't as well since you want to play that game."
"Alright, fine by me."
She thought for a moment, then smiled,"I'll call you...hm, we never get female looking ones...what's a good name-? Oh!" She brought a bloody finger and pointed it at the woman. "Sadie! I'll call you Sadie!"
Ymir stared at her, eyes visibly blank. Her lips formed a frown as she said disapprovingly,"You suck at names."
"Hey, at least I give names," she shrugged, putting her hand down and pressing it against her ribs,"ah..."
"C'mon, let's get moving. Here, let me carry you, you're too slow."
Hanji was taken aback as she retorted,"You could have carried me earlier, why're you doing it now!?"
She felt herself being lifted up with Ymir's arms under her back and legs, carrying her bridal-style. Hanji's arms were forced to fold at her chest but she didn't mind, she was being carried and that was the thing she needed most right now. She felt oddly safe and secure in the woman's arms, she heard the beating of a pounding heart that was pumping in time to keep up with her.
"Y'know...this is my fifth time out here," she said sleepily. She tried to stay awake as best she could, she was scared of falling into a coma.
Ymir gave a bit of a shake, causing her to snap back into her waking world. "Fifth time? Hm, you're lucky I bothered to save you."
"Well then, why me?" Hanji stared up at her, with the close distance she could see her expressions. Her brow furrowed as though she were thinking of something to say but it was the most expression she could find; she seemed to be the stoic type, much like Levi. "Why bother this time?"
"I just felt like it."
Hanji huffed and rested her head into the right side of her chest, she let out a soft sigh,"The others that died, they were good people."
"I'm sorry for your loss," she said sincerely. Hanji was surprised that Ymir could show much more than just a monotone voice. "Tell me...did you really think you were going to die?"
"Well, getting lost in the woods for the first time without defense can make any soldier cry," Hanji admitted,"so yes, I thought I was going to-"
A deafening sound of a large object falling to the ground echoed throughout the woods. Hanji's ears picked up on it, telling her that it was three kilometers to the East. She surmised that it was a Titan that had been slain, perhaps the rescue party had decided to show itself. She pointed in that direction.
"Go that way...someone might be searching for us," she instructed, Ymir nodded and began to pick up the pace, kicking her feet into a light jog,"you're pretty strong."
"You're not that heavy," she replied, she then leaped over a log and went on. The swaying motion of Ymir's body rocked Hanji once again, making her eyes drift closed. "Ugh, what'll keep you awake?"
Hanji slowly became unresponsive though she spoke in a low murmur. She began to snuggle close, her body already demanding sleep.
Ymir knew that Titans stayed clear of her. While they would call her names in bestial groans of "Ymir-sama! Ymir-sama!", most often times they would keep their distance, especially at night. They would always be close by, however, but this time, she couldn't sense them; they were being distracted by the rescue team; they had only traveled half a kilometer.
She neared the base of a tree that had roots that curved in an almost circle-like fashion, towering over them by a couple meters. Ymir decided it was the best place to rest Hanji for the mean time.
The grass, slightly slick with dew, made a soft bed. Hanji's eyes flew open, she had regained consciousness and gasped,"Sex!"
Ymir winced at the quiet outburst as she leaned down. "Excuse me?"
"Sex...it'll keep me awake," she answered, nearly laughing.
The black haired woman's eyes narrowed and she replied,"You must have taken that hit pretty hard-"
"No, I'm being serious!" Hanji's hand reached out for Ymir's shoulder and tried to pull her down. The woman, face covered in mud and grime, stayed firmly in place. "...I don't want to fall asleep."
"You're kidding me, right? You do realize that after fucking, you pass out," Ymir told her.
"Well, I read it in a book once when I was studying. Pain lessens when you-"
Ymir rubbed her eyes and sighed. The woman was obviously a virgin. It intrigued her but at the same time, it felt strange to violate her. She had done this so often before, she couldn't pin down exactly why she can't do anything now.
The injury, it's the injuries she has.
"Hadn't you read anything from your books? Like, herbs, medicines that grow around here for pain relief? I'll gladly collect some of that, hell, weren't you concerned of getting back to your group?" Ymir pointed out to her.
Hanji gave a slow nod.
"Besides, I doubt you'd want to lose your first time out here in the woods with a head injury and a couple broken ribs, not something you'd want to remember."
"True...but if you remove the last part, just replace it with a knight that saved my life," she jokingly told her, though a slight blush smeared on her face. She tried to sit up, Ymir assisted her. Her hands went to remove her coat. She then took the sleeves and wrapped it around her torso. "Tighten it a bit behind me."
Ymir shifted around to be behind her and tied the knot to made sure it was in place. "What good does that do?"
"It'll keep my rib in place for the time being...it's really makeshift but it's all I got," she said, starting to lay back down but Ymir prevented her,"the pressure is making my ribs stay locked."
Ymir's hands were still on her back, the dirt of her fingers smeared on her yellow shirt.
"Is there something wrong?" Hanji asked as Ymir didn't move.
"Nothing, it's just that your neck..." Her words drifted away.
The brunette's hair was tied up and back, exposing the pale flesh to Ymir. It was tempting to her, like it was asking for a taste. The next thing Ymir knew, she leaned forward and gently scrapped her teeth, eliciting a gasp from the soldier.
"H-hey!" Hanji yelped out. A wave of excitement rushed over her at the sudden contact. Her cheeks flushed when she felt her tongue rove over her skin. "...Sadie..."
Rolling her eyes at the poorly picked name, Ymir suddenly pulled away, her tongue licking her lips. She shifted around and went to her front. She saw that Hanji was blushing furiously, even looking away. Ymir brought a hand under her chin and tipped her head up.
"You're lame at giving names," she murmured with a smug smirk.
She pressed her lips against hers, gently. Hanji didn't make any protest to go against her, in fact, one arm went up so that she could grasp at her shoulder. In response, Ymir began to slowly press against her, gently lowering her to the ground with one hand holding her and the other pressing firmly against the ground. Once on her back, Hanji opened her mouth to gasp but Ymir took the chance to nip on her bottom lip.
It was Hanji's first kiss, she never imagined it to be taken by someone she barely even knew and yet, after saving her, she felt she could trust her well enough to let her this close. Her thoughts went to Levi for a moment; they had known each other for a few years but, just like her, he kept to himself about intimate things, thus leaving no chance to form a relationship.
However, there were times when he showed his concern for her. They were close friends but in a way she wanted it to be more. Perhaps he held feelings for her and failed to address it, after all, men let certain things go unnoticed from time to time.
Her time in the labs and researching Titans never permitted her to explore this side of human nature. She had spent an equal amount of time with humans yet hardly formed a close bond; it was because she had seen too many die before her, that further pushed her away from thinking of growing too close. Levi would always be an option for her, she was confident he could never be struck down.
Yet here was this woman above her. She known her for only an hour and already she was on top of her.
Ymir's tongue nudged her way in to taste her, running at the teeth and then the roof of her mouth; the taste of honey and a bit of blood came to her, she may have licked her own wound or something by accident. This elicited a giggle from Hanji as it was tickling her. Her tongue prodded Hanji's and then beckoned her to join in her own mouth. The near-sighted woman obliged and explored Ymir's, tasting a bit of dirt and, oddly, mint; the putrid stench she caught earlier bewildered her.
The woman may have lived in the woods long enough to resort to natural remedies to care for herself but not to treat pain.
Despite the aching from her stomach and throbbing from her head, Hanji tried to enjoy this moment as she playfully nipped at Ymir's tongue. This prompted a growl and she pulled away, a thick trail of saliva connected their mouths. It snapped when Hanji licked her lips. She sighed,"Wow..."
Ymir lowered her lips to her ear and whispered,"Are you still awake?"
The voice sent a shiver down Hanji's spine. She nervously chuckled,"I could be dreaming..."
Her tongue flicked out and licked the lobe of her ear, then went lower to her neck. This sent Hanji's mind into a frenzy. She was starting to lose focus but her thoughts ran amok when she felt teeth at the crook of her neck. A short gasp came from her as Ymir began to bite softly, then gradually rougher. She went on until something shot to her mind, like getting a quick high off of a fume from her solutions.
Heat coursed through her but then ebbed away when Ymir pulled back to get a good look at her.
"Still convinced you're dreaming?"
Hanji's eyes were wide, her mouth slightly agape.
Before her reply, the thunderous footfalls of a Titan was heard not too far. Ymir quickly gathered Hanji in her arms and brought her close against the tree, her body covering hers, shielding it from anything that would come their way. Hanji peered over her shoulder to see a Titan, a 15-meter class, abnormal with two small arms, walk by them without care; it had emerged from the North and was heading due East, where they had heard a Titan fall earlier.
Ymir's hair may have aided in disguising them.
As it went on, Ymir murmured,"It shouldn't be wandering by here..."
"What?" Hanji asked, barely audible and still hazy. She winced at the sharp pain in her chest.
"I suppose whoever is recusing you might be bringing Titans all around them-"
Their bodies were pressed against one another rather closely, Hanji took the initiative and tipped her chin up to meet Ymir. It was a chaste kiss. "Come back with me to the Wall...I'm in your debt for saving me, I'd thank you much more properly but-" Her eyes darted at her ribs. "-you know..."
Ymir gave a slight frown. "I can't go with you at all."
"Why not?" Hanji's hand reached out to hers. The soldier had never gotten so close to anyone, not like this, not to even to Levi or Petra. Thoughts raced to her being back in the laboratory, alone despite having an assistant. This woman, her savior, had made her realize that there was more to life than Titans and the Recon Corps. There was a feeling that needed to be experienced at least once in a lifetime.
She wanted to feel loved and perhaps be in love as well.
Ymir didn't give her an answer, only a kiss. It was deep and slow, sensual and compassionate, an apology that didn't need words. Her free hand went to cradle Hanji's head, her fingers laced through the loose locks, it was long, something that she hoped Hanji would savor in her mind. Reluctantly, she withdrew.
"Sadie," she murmured somberly. She didn't want her to go. She felt the pad of her thumb rub over her skin, she leaned into the touch. "Just come home with me..."
"Look...perhaps one day we'll meet again," Ymir tried to reason,"but...I can't bring myself to go back, not yet."
Hanji was confused. "W-why not?"
Ymir gave that smirk once more. "Magic."
"You can't be-"
"I'm serious, now, just wait here, I'll draw help over and you'll be alright."
She began to pull away. Hanji's eyes widened, her hands reaching out desperately. "N-no, don't leave me here on my own! What if a Titan comes back and-" But Ymir didn't return, she ran off into the dark forest, instantly disappearing beyond the root; she was out of sight within seconds. A feeling of dread washed over Hanji, she was left defenseless and alone. "SADIE!"
Tears began to form. Her only companion, her only protection, had suddenly left without offering so much as a goodbye. She felt truly alone now.
Her eyes closed and she began to wail, unsure of what to do with herself. She was abandoned, beaten, and perhaps even heartbroken, so much for one day, so much for her to handle. Her mind couldn't process the sudden loss, she couldn't comprehend it. She didn't care anymore if a Titan were to come, she would embrace death now, a fitting end for her.
What if 'Sadie' never finds the rescue party? What she ended up as a meal for a Titan? She didn't know, she lost confidence in her the moment she left.
It didn't matter. She simply cried and screamed until her voice grew hoarse. "COME BACK! SADIE! I BEG OF YOU!"
Above her screams came the pounding against the tree above her. Fear shook her so bad that she convulsed, just like the bark she laid against. The Titan causing that was probably a Deviant, she whimpered, expecting it to suddenly appear before her but it went further away. Regardless, she still screamed for the woman.
-...-
Levi was drawn to the sudden ruckus to the West. He had just cleanly slain a 15-meter abnormal Titan when the thunder in the trees resounded ahead of him. He was back on the sorrel, feeling as though he was blindly leading the steed to nowhere.
It wasn't just the pounding that his attention anymore, but the shrieks that had resonated within it. He tasked himself for slaying the threat that flew above yet he was being drawn in my the sound of a human screaming for help.
"SADIE!" Was something he heard, along with pleads for this 'Sadie' to return.
Upon drawing nearer, his ears began to tell him it was Hanji Zoe. The voice was unmistakeable though it was hard to believe that she had managed to survive. Kicking his horse's barrel, he pressed on. The thunder had suddenly stopped as though he had gain whatever attention the Deviant-like Titan needed, but his mind began to focus on the woman.
Levi glared at the path ahead until he found the source of the keening voice. He whirled his horse around a tree and cued it to halt; he had spotted a dim shade of yellow between the roots when he had gone just a bit far. Upon further inspection, he confirmed that the person was still alive and...excessively screaming.
It was, indeed, Hanji, sitting at the base of the tree. Her front was covered down the front with bloody splotches and her jacket was taken off and tied around her torso, he reasoned that she may have broken a rib; she was the person who discarded her Gear and cloak earlier. Dismounting, he approached her; clearly she was in the throes of hysteria, tears streamed down her grimy, dirty face and blood (now crusted dry) smeared on her cheek, mouth was open and letting out that annoying sound.
She was convulsing violently, crying, he got down to one knee and then put a hand to her shoulder. Her head flew up and her eyes, bloodshot, were in disbelief; her screaming ceased at the sight of him.
"A-are you real?" She asked as though she had gone mad.
Levi examined her head, taking note of the nasty gash. "Fuck, you hit your head-"
"S-Sadie, did you see Sadie?" She stammered.
His eyes rolled. "You've gone bat-shit crazy too-"
Her hands clasped to his shoulders, demanding again,"Where's Sadie!? Did you see her? She's got black hair, covered in dirt, wears rags, but she's really, really..." She went on, describing her 'Sadie'.
Levi pried her dirtied hands and then aided her to her feet. She rambled endlessly as he lead her to her horse.
"You got to get Sadie too!" She muttered as they began to take off with her riding behind the saddle.
The threat he originally came to deal with had seemingly disappeared, just like the last of Hanji's sanity; he had to deal with one before the other. Rolling his eyes at Hanji's prattle, he made his way back to the makeshift camp. When Titans began to appear all around them, he set off the flare. He wasn't in the mood to dismount nor leave Hanji to herself.