Four Weddings and a Couple of Births 03

Joe and Stacie get married in the mountains. May 30-2015

She described the theme as "Bohemian Rustic Ambience." She planned, planted, produced, and prayed. She made most of her decorations, by hand, personally. She grew her flowers. She did most of the labor for all of the things that needed to be done. It wasn't because nobody was willing to help her. It was more like… Everything that they tried to do to help her - she just trusted herself to do more. She couldn't understand how other brides just hired people to do stuff. For one thing - wedding expenses were steeper than for the same work on other events - likely because they KNOW you're willing to pay to have everything perfect. Stacie decided to just pay with her time and energy.

She had run out of space in her garden, and borrowed Sam's yard, POM's garden area, Stevie's yard, and a few other spaces, as well.

Dwight had built her a few wooden things that she needed, had chopped some wood for her, as well, while Tanisha just observed with a glass of lemonade and made impressed noises that made Stacie uncomfortable.

Joe did most of the administrative planning portion. The organizing, procuring the permit, all the paperwork and so forth. He was simply better at that part than she was. So technically, Joe did the planning and she did the preparing...

Actually… Let's rewind to April 18, 2014...

Joe preached and finished what he had been describing as his last Good Friday Sermon at his grandfather's church and was brought back up to the pulpit for closing words, after the Invitation to Discipleship.

"As you all know, I am going to be leaving this church, which I actually love, but I am going to be helping my dear friend, Sam Evans establish his church and if our goals turn out right, by this time next year, we will at least have a tent in the lot where the church is being built. But, I didn't invite you here or come up here to plug my new church church. I actually just want to share some words about my wonderful…" he held his hand out towards Stacie and she smiled as people cheered and smiled and looked at her. "Stacie Evans. She's more than a friend, more than a girlfriend. She's been walking beside me now for more than a year, improving my life in the most beautiful and refreshing ways and thinking that it's me that's you know, making her better…" ("He does," she tells nearby guests.)

"If I have time, I want to just give Stacie her flowers, while she's here; because we all know that life is short and if anybody has seen evidence first hand, she has. She's lost a lot and seen a lot and of all of the people around me, she's remained the most positive and upbeat. She trusts God through everything and praises Him, in spite of all of the stuff she's had to live with. Now, she tells me that before we got together, she had a crush on me. Which, of course, I would need to be told this thing, because I have zero intuition about that sort of thing. I am clueless.

Before we dated, I had only ever asked out two other people. When I was very young and a few years later. And, let me just explain - I've always been a church boy. I've been here my entire my and I didn't do the whole teen dating, high school sweethearts or any of that, so as far as asking dates goes, I have this method. It is not real smooth, but I've executed it with confidence all three times.

I greet her politely, I express my interest, then I immediately clarify that I don't casual date and that this first date would be me in the process of assessing my date for a future marriage.

The first girl laughed immediately, to the point of tears, cleared her throat, fixed her hair and said, "I guess that we're meant to just be friends." The second lady said, "I don't even like you enough to GO on a date with you.," but she wished me good luck on that. It was years before I even put myself out that way again, and when I finally did, where most women I'm friends with already know that I didn't plan on ever dating unless it was looking forward to marriage, Stacie and I hadn't spoken about things like that. We were friends, but not like that. So, I of course had to give her my little confident lines, and truth be told, this was the time that I was the most nervous. I was like, "This woman's gonna tell you to take your dreads and leave this establishment…" Instead, she said, "Well duh, numbskull - that's what I'm doing too." (So, I'm paraphrasing)... Stacie awkwardly laughed in the audience.

I asked her out, because I realized how short life is. We were, as you all know present for a mass shooting. Some of you know that wasn't even the first shooting that I found myself in the crossfire of. The first time, it wasn't a consideration, but the second time, I knew her and I respected her and cared about her.

Life is short and I've found that out over the years, (shootings, battles) and when I spend time with Stacie, we're having the real conversations, talking about the things that most people don't even bring up until they've gotten engaged or married. And I fell more in love with her as a woman than I've been in love with her even as a friend! And there's no doubt in my mind that I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman," he pointed right at Stacie and she gasped and grabbed Cheri and Mercedes' hands.

"With that being said, we've got all this family here today - my family, her family, some extended family that hopefully enjoyed the sermon and put a little change in the collection plate. I called everyone to invite them here to see this sermon, but honestly, I mostly called them here because I'm not only on fire for the Lord, but I'm on fire for Stacie and since I have all of you here, I'd love for all of you to be a part of this.

"A part of what?" Stacie asked, unable to tear her widened eyes away from him.

"Stacie Joan Evans…" He walked from the pulpit to where she was on the front row, nervously bouncing and waiting, unable to take her eyes off of him while the rest of the room cheered over his voice. Whenever Joe got down on one knee, she burst into tears and kept crying, despite just nodding her head, not even able to hear his question, but knowing that her answer was yes.

Later, he told her, "I was honestly just praying that this huge public declaration wasn't going to blow up in my face and that you would simply say yes."

As a matter of fact, let's briefly go a little further back, to April 1, 2014…

Joe had called every single member of their families, himself and asked them if it would be possible for them to show up to preach his last Good Friday Sermon at his grandfather's church. It was extremely important to him that they come, but he would understand if they couldn't. Unfortunately, several of these conversations began with him having to convince them that this wasn't an April Fool's Day joke… "I'm not really sure how this joke would play out. I trick you into thinking that I have a sermon in a couple of weeks and then what? You show up at my church and I'm not there? Does it even count at that point, because that's not on April 1st… Or do I just say SIKE while we're on the phone and neither of us laugh, because that would be a rather anticlimactic prank, don't you agree?"

But, after he had finally contacted everyone, Stacie peeked in to his home office and wondered, "Were you pranking people today? I have like so many messages asking me if you're really preaching your last Good Friday at your grandfather's church this month…"

"Why do they think that's a joke?"

"I don't know. It'd be quite anticlimactic, right?"

"Precisely!"

Ok, now, back to the mountains…

Stevie and Cheri had come in the RV, while Dwight and Tanisha arrived early to bring in supplies and help set up, and Sam showed up with Mercy and Heaven in their minivan a while later. Stevie and Dwight had been working while Tanisha and Cheri watched the kids and Sam brought Mercedes to them before going to find the rest of his family.

He saw Dwight and Stevie setting up barrels and asked, "Can I help?"

"Stacie has been very particular about where she wants stuff, so check with her for any instructions."

Sam found Stacie and Joe, setting up some basin with water and he called out, "How are my faves?" Stacie gasped and rushed over to give him a hug. "Y'all are… working at your own wedding?"

"Have you met us?" Stacie asked.

"But, you don't have on your clothes, yet, is there a changing station, here? Is there a bathroom? What is this place?"

"There is a little lodge a ways up the road, but this is my dress," she said. He looked at her for a while and realized two things - it was white and it had some type of sort of formal chainmail something or another on the back.

"I suppose that this shouldn't surprise me, but I expected you to girly it up more."

"Don't be old-fashioned, Sammy. We've got our focus on God, each other and nature. This is like my Garden of Eden. So, be glad that I'm covered."

.

After everything was set up, the open roof cabin was open for guests to come in, while the reception site arranged outside, in the open. Of course, the Hart preachers handled the officiating, and Joe had Artie as his best man, with Shane, Sam, Mike, as groomsmen.

Stacie had Mercedes as her maid of honor, Cheri, Stevie and Jake as her bridesmaid and "bridesmen," as Stevie kept referring to himself. Joe's grandmother had knitted white ponchos for all of the guys and Stacie had told all of the ladies to just wear something white that they had and she was going to adorn with with flowers when they got there. Joe's mother had insisted that Stacie let her take care of the favors, and wound up making many jars of homemade jam. Tanisha had found heart shaped wooden sheets in the craft section while waiting for Dwight at the home improvement store and asked Stacie if she could get them for an advice box, which Stacie loved the idea of and welcomed it.

So, even though she thought that she needed to do everything herself, whenever she needed them, everyone in her life came to her assistance. She couldn't be happier to be adding to her family, and being added to another one! A growing family was proof that everyone was being nurtured and getting nutrition. As she and Joe, surrounded by God's beautiful nature and all of the friends and family that He had blessed her with made their vows, tied their knot, and exchanged their rings, they took what Joe called a "fellowship walk," while the rest of the guests moved outside to the reception area.

Joe and Stacie walked around and talked about how they felt about how the ceremony went and since they hadn't made time for it before, explained stuff like… "I don't want you to shove cake in my face," Stacie tole him. "That seems like a waste of cake and while we spoke about how to handle various not likely to happen situations with our future kids, I never told you not to shove cake in my face today."

"Deal breaker!" Joe said jokingly. She laughed and they headed back to where they had to cut the cake and all that jazz.

Dwight and many of the Evans and some of Mary's family were doing a lot of talking, and Tanisha found Stacie, finally by herself and approached, "Hey, when I arrived here, I said - there is no way that they're going to make a nice event out of a hippy commune, but you did! And you got him to cut his hair!"

She laughed and said, "No, he had decided that he would cut it when he got married, before I ever came around, but he let me cut it for him. I think I did okay."

"You make things beautiful. I know that you probably wish that you had your mom here today and I'm sorry that you don't. She would have been so happy and proud to see you do this all yourself and still do all of that subservient kind of stuff, too. The foot washing thing… I was not prepared for. I have never seen that before. But, it was lovely. Everything is lovely."

"Thank you, Mama T."

"What are you going to do with all of this stuff?"

"Probably repurpose it, or upcycle, you know… Make other stuff. Maybe use it in our garden or yard or at one of the shops or something."

"Do you think I could take some of the extra unused stuff?"

"Sure! Take whatever you need. That'll be helpful for us not to have to try to clear it out ourselves, after this."

"What are you going to do with it?"

"I thought I might just use some of it, you know."

"Right, but what could you possibly need any of this stuff for? You don't really decorate or anything. Are you starting a home business or something?"

"No. I thought that I could maybe, perhaps, in the spirit of today, think about, seeing how your dad feels about us… That if we were to maybe, sometime soon..." Tanisha laughed, and shook her head, "I didn't really want to bring this up today. It's your day. I'll have mine, soon enough, or eventually. I just… I was thinking that when it wasn't a whole big thing I might see if your dad wanted to…"

Stacie gasped so long that Tanisha thought she might pass out.

"Don't go nowhere!" Stacie practically screamed, kicked off her sandals and took off running, barefoot. Her hat fell off of her head and she was getting dirt all over the bottom of her dress. Tanisha uncomfortably smiled at people who were turning her way in confusion and fetched the hat and showed nodded to people.

Dwight, Sam, Stevie and some others were standing around when she ran up, shouted, "Daddy!" and they all jumped and stared at her try to catch her breath. She pointed out towards Tanisha, who was shrinking away, towards the escarpment when she noticed Stacie pointing, "Mama T...She wants to get married." She could hardly breathe, but Dwight heard her as clearly as day. "She didn't… say that… But… She…" Joe handed Stacie a cup of water and she gulped it down and said, "I'm not quite there with the you getting remarried kinda thing, but I know how ya are, and if that woman asks you to marry her, even if you want to, you're gonna feel weird about her asking, so… If you're trying to wife up Mama T, you'd better make your move first." Now, she exhaled big and Stevie turned to Jake, smiling excitedly. Jake actually looked horrified.

Dwight noticed and he laughed, nervously and beckoned him. Jake came to him as the others moved closer. After a short conversation, Dwight politely said to the rest of the group, "Y'all excuse me." But, apparently all of his offspring and Nisha's thought that he was just talking to everyone but them and followed him over to where Tanisha was.

She furrowed her eyebrows and smiled, confused, hoping that Stacie seriously had not. She handed her the hat and said through her teeth, "I was trying not to make a scene on your special day."

Stacie retorted, "I made the scene." She put her hat back on and said, "And now, I'm gonna enjoy it."

Stevie nodded and said, "Me too!" Jake just watched, dumbfounded.

Dwight looked at the kids and said, "I asked y'all to excuse me!" Sam took a step back and pulled each Stevie and Stacie by their arms. But, none of them went any further away. He turned to Tanisha and said, "My daughter is under the weirdest impression."

"She's lying, I know that much," Tanisha said, shivering.

Dwight laughed. "That sounds like her," he joked.

Tanisha moved closer to him and spoke quietly, "I was simply asking her about some of her decor, because I was thinking about maybe using some of it, sometime, maybe soon. Actually, I was thinking, that because we've planned this huge gathering for your birthday, but it's not exactly on the day of your birthday that maybe we could rush and squeeze in… Look… Don't look at me like you haven't thought about this, because I know that you've probably thought about this more than I've thought about this and I was only thinking this through because I knew you had thought about it. So, yes, this plan sounds thought through, because - I will admit, I thought this through."

"Hey, Nish… Did you happen to maybe… think this through?" He teased. She turned around and started to walk off, now embarrassed and frustrated that a scene had been made and she had not prepared to have this conversation with an audience… "Nish!" He called and took her hand. She turned around and… he had a ring. She gasped and looked at him, surprised. "I was gonna ask you at that birthday party, that's why so many people were invited. I was actually following my new son-in-law's tactic."

"And you decided to just keep it in your pocket, in case a better time came along?"

"Are you disappointed that I did?"

"I am not surprised." She fought a super smile trying to form on her face.

"Well, you shouldn't be surprised by this: I ain't getting on my knees in these pants, on this ground.I'm gonna look at you face to face, make eye contact and simply ask you, Are you ready to become my wife?" Jake felt Stevie's hand squeeze his arm, but he was frozen in the spot.

"I am," Tanisha said and the Evans kids all cheered and Sam quickly went around, rushing to tell people what had just happened. Stevie and Stacie hugged and then grabbed Jake for a hug too. He tried to get into the spirit of it. His mom looked really happy and that was all that he wanted for her… He also knew that she was terrible at choosing men.

He looked at Stevie's suspicious stare. "What?"

"What? Why are you so… salty?" Stevie asked.

Jake laughed, "I'm not. I'm just… I wasn't expecting this. Let's get away from this sex cabin."

Stevie laughed and said, "What?"

.

"Consummation Campsite?" Stevie repeated, helping Sam and Jake pack up the stuff that Dwight and Tanisha were taking.

Sam explained, "They're both virgins. They've been waiting for today because it's gonna be their first time. Stacie took advice and lessons. Joe specifically has been praying to be good at it and enjoyable for her, in addition to trying to get super healthy so his body is at it's best. The first thing that they did this morning was come up here, and set up that like shrine tent thing and put inside of it the stuff that they intended to… share with each other. And when we clear out of here, because they got this place still reserved with that permit…"

"No, thank you!" Stevie announced. "I don't want to know anymore."

Jake reminded him, "You and my mom talk sex like a couple of teenagers."

"That's different."

"Yeah - my mom is… about to be your stepmom…"

"Yeah, and she's hot and not my sister, so that kind of talk can work,' Stevie said.

Sam told Jake, "You know better than anyone else that his rationalizations don't make sense." Jake just nodded.

Stevie came back to the subject, "So, Joe and Stacie erected that tent specifically to lose their virginity it and they call it their Consummation Campsite… Did they go through a gauntlet of names? Which ones, I wonder didn't make the cut?" He thought for a moment, then said, "I got nothing."

.

Dwight and Tanisha were the first ones to come and the last ones to leave from the area. Dwight lowkey wanted to camp nearby, just in case something came out, but he knew that he had to trust this man with his baby girl, now.

Joe asked him, "Mr. Evans?"

"Joe, my name is Dwight. I mean, if it ain't gonna be Papa or something, at least my name."

"Papa Dwight," Joe said, uncomfortably. He was holding one of the little wooden hearts and the marker, "Did you have a chance to fill one of these out?"

Dwight threw back his head and then shook it, "Sorry, Son. It's not all the time that I get to see this much of our family and I suppose that I forgot. But, I don't think any of my advice could fit on that little thing."

Joe tilted his head and said, "Well, I have a pretty good memory, and I've never gotten any advice from you before. But, I think that yours is one of the most valuable pieces, seeing as how you raised Stacie…"

Dwight nodded his head and said, "I can't give you advice about Stacie that you don't already know. I watched you, very closely around my daughter. Even before you realized that she was all googly eyed over you. You treated her with respect, chivalry, and kindness. Whenever y'all finally got together, I watched you even closer. You cared about her well-being, you enjoyed her company, and you treated her like she matters. When you told me that you were going to ask her to marry you and I nodded my head and told you, "I knew you would;" I meant that I knew that a man like you was going to see my daughter for the great person that she is and know that he wanted her by his side. You're smart and nice. You actually give a damn about people and you're not afraid to show a woman that you love her and be both strong for her and vulnerable. Give you some advice? I should be getting one of these from you! As a matter of fact, you tell me what it is that has made you so good at this thing."

Joe smiled and watched Stacie hugging Mama T goodbye and he wrote on the little heart and gave it to his father-in-law. "Thank you for your contribution," Joe said and went to meet his wife as Tanisha went to Dwight.

"What's that?" She wondered. He looked down at it: Love her like Christ loved the Church.