Notes:
I see Sasori having the hardest time with this seeing as he's no longer a puppet. Kisame was so hard to write.
Currently listening to "Dirrty in Havana" by oneboredjeu on YouTube
Again Kakuzu and Itachi were discussing where they were and how to become human again. The conversation was going in circles as far as Sasori was considered. The situation was more or less the same as the Edo Tensei, they were simply puppets to some new, unknown, mastermind now.
There was only one up side to this revival in his opinion. He controlled his own body. The down side was, it was in fact, a body. With all the bodily needs that required. And the body of a cat on top of that.
Of all the human things he ever had to give up he never thought thumbs would be the part he miss the most.
After begrudgingly eating some food he set off to explore the new surroundings, ever curious.
The style of the house was clean and modern, full of light colors to make the space seem larger. He jumped on every surface he was sure he could reach and one he was questionable with but surprisingly made it onto with little trouble. He didn't have is ninja jumping ability but his hind legs were surprisingly springy. A huge television hung on the wall and he tried to turn it on by helplessly batting at the remote on the table to no avail. Again sadly he thought of his missing thumbs.
After all that, next was down the small hallway. One of the doors was close to him so he made his way to the other that was open.
This must have been the young woman's bedroom. It was simple like the rest of the house with just a dresser, bookcase, side table and bed but they all were in a beautiful matching light wood. Exquisitely decorated, carved relieves filled the corners. They looked sturdy and well made and Sasori eyed them with satisfaction.
'She has good taste' He thought to himself.
The thought of woodworking made him nostalgic for his puppets.
On farther inspection he could hear humming coming from a door set off in the corner so he made his way to it.
Suddenly thumbs weren't the part of his human anatomy that he missed the most.
There was the woman, Mary, with scares but a towel around her wet bare body rubbing something on her face. Then she turned to face him and Sasori felt his blood run hot and cold at the same time, his breath caught in his throat. Feeling all these things were throwing him for a loop, it had been years since he felt anything. And it seemed his senses were heightened as a cat.
"Not you too mars... are you little perverts gonna watch me the whole time?" She asked but it was with a light hearted laugh.
"If only I could do more then watch you, you fucking tease." Sasori heard come from next to him. He merrily swallowed hard, unsure if he should turn away or not.
"Lotion time." She giggled pulling a jar from the cabinet. Then before Sasori could think she dropped the towel.
Now Sasori wasn't unaccustomed to the female body but this one was far from what he was use to. While his puppets came in all shapes and sizes he never put much stock in marking them attractive. As long as they were functional for battle it was fine.
If he had to think of the perfect female figure, it would be her's. Hips set out from the toned stomach in a wide flare. Her breast were so large they sagged slightly. Arms and legs were toned to perfection. Everywhere was pure milky unblemished skin. He wanted to touch those limbs and display them for his own viewing.
Both he and Hidan were quite now. She walked over to the wall and put her leg up on it for easy access then slowly rub the lotion up into the appendage.
Hidan let out a "hot damn."
Sasori watched, in rapture as she lotioned her whole body as long forgotten sensation resurfaced in him. He wanted her more then just as a doll. The thought was a shock to him. 'Damn hormones.' he thought.
He wasn't ignorant to the touch of a woman but he had never before found himself yearning for it as he was now. He wanted to collect the water as it ran down her damp hair and onto her beautiful body. He shook his head as if it could get rid of such unwanted thoughts.
All to soon she walked over to the door and grabbed a red robe, and finally rapped it around her body hidding it from prying eyes. He hated himself for being disappointed
"Now that's weird… Did you guys just watch me the whole time." She asked with confusion.
Sasori got the impression cats didn't watch woman... do whatever it was she was doing, with such rapture. A more decent man would have not watch at all. But it wasn't like he could tear his eyes way. He felt so much in this living body he wish he hadn't.
She was making her way back to the bedroom and both he and Hidan followed her more like dogs then kittens. Now out of the heat of the bathroom Sasori felt the cool air against his flushed cheeks.
Completely undeterred she threw off the robe and was naked again. Hidans commentary was not helping Sasori's resolve. But she was quickly dressing in the clothes she had laid out on the bed. A simple oversized tee shirt and sweatpants. And he couldn't tell if he was grateful or not that it was all over.
"Today's a day off kitties." She told them throwing the shirt over her head. "I'm gonna catch up on some tv shows before I go to the store to get you some food k." Then she left down the hall with Hidan hot on her heals and Sasori was left to shake his head again to rid it of unwelcome thoughts.
Deciding he couldn't stay in her room alone, not after that, he followed her and Hidan out after trying to calm himself. How odd he would have such human emotions when he was not human. He would have to chalk it up to not feeling anything for so long.
"What were you three doing in there." Asked Kisame with a lecherous grind as he walked by. Sasori tried to hide his embarrassment.
"More then you fool." He hissed out "I've learned she plans on leaving later to go food shopping for us." Sasori scoffed making his way over to watch the tv which was now on.
"One of us should try to go with her to learn more about where we are." Itachi spoke up.
"Obviously" Sasori muttered under his breath.
"You wanna watch with me little guy?" Mary asked someone as they made their way up onto the couch with her, Sasori was more interested in the television and what he could gleam from it to pay too much attention.
It seemed to be a children's show but after some time a startling sight caught his eye.
She was younger by far but there she was. The pink haired kunoichi that had killed him.
"Mary! What is this!" Sasori exclaimed, staring shocked at the television, in his shock he forgot she couldn't understand them.
"How sweet, you remember the bitches name." Hidan said rather angrily from his spot next to her on the couch. Deidara was on the other side flicking his tail in an agitated way.
"Silence! This is important. I recognize the girl." He yelled at them both.
Itachi seemed to be in shock himself. "That young boy is Sasuke..."
"What is the meaning of this." Kakuzu added.
Mary looked strangely at them all. "What's wrong with you guys... now I know Naruto is kinda old now but I haven't seen all the episodes yet so don't hassle me." She ended on a laugh, their turmoil oblivious to her.
"I don't get it. What's the big deal?" Hidan asked ever oblivious himself.
Kakuzu looked all of his 91 years. "She is watching a television show about the nine-tails jinchūriki. For a means of entertainment it seems."
"Are... are you guys talking to each other..." Mary eyed them all with confusion and suspicion. "I've had weird but never such... social... maybe Siamese... they're talkers..." She was obvious talking to herself at this point trying to make sense of what was currently going on. But it was quite obvious she was growing suspicious of their behavior.
For their credited no one said a word after that. They all seemed content to watch the strange show about a boy they once tried to kill.
This definitely wasn't hell but it was definitely not heaven in Kisame's opinion. It was definitely surreal though.
They watched the brat's tv show for an hour. No one saying a word. That god damned Kakashi showed up. It was all some light heartedness in the boys childhood but it still was jarring to watch. What did it mean? He was sure Itachi would have some ideas bout it.
Kisame wonder if this was divine retribution. The story he heard from Itachi about the Edo Tensei seemed worse. He was glad there was nothing left of him to revive. He wasn't so sure this was any better. Though that did beg the question that this really was the afterlife and not jutsu.
And what did that show mean. He decided to go see Itachi as the woman turned off the tv and went into the kitchen.
"Better to eat at home then out. Gotta save money some how." She mumbled to herself, Kakuzu gave her a appreciative nod. The thought of food perked Kismame up and distracted him.
"Bitch I'm hungry, feed me now." Hidan insisted while circling round her feet almost tripping her.
"No Luna, kitties eat morning and night but if I gave you lunch you'd get fat." She child him reaching down to give him a quick pet. As she busied herself Kismame decided it was a lost cause and to join Kakuzu and Itahchi's conversation, again already in process, like he had planed.
"If we are in the future it could be a historic documentary." Itachi said.
"But the lack of chakra anywhere puts doubt on that theory." Kakuzu retorted.
"We haven seen anyone with a clan trait..." Kismame added walking over. "Wonder what color my skin is..." he added in a curious mumble.
"We have to assume these are our body's now." Itacha's words were disheartening to all. "Seeing as there is no chakra here, doing any form of jutsu would be impossible."
The three kittens looked at each other.
"Cats have a lifespan of fifth-teen years." Kakuzu said emotionlessly.
"What about going out with the woman when she leaves. Look for a ninja, any ninja." Kismame nearly growled. This was not funny anymore.
He couldn't tell if living as a cat in this non chakra'd hell hole was a good thing or not. Being alive was a good thing, right. He might have died on his own terms but he would rather had not died at all. But a world with out chakra was almost as bad as his current bodily predicament.
Once again he was quickly becoming dissolution to this life. What there was of it.
The growing conversation brought him back to reality.
"You are the most observant... It's decided Itachi shall be the one to go with the girl." Kakuzu's confirmation came. "Kisame go check on her and the others."
Feeling lingering anger Kismame wasn't in the mood to take orders. "Who made you leader." He sneared at the older man.
"You need to make a distraction while I hide in her purse." Itachi told him calmly and it alleviated some of his anger. If anyone could figure a way out of this, whatever it was, it would be Itachi.
He moseyed his way to the back room where he found the woman changing clothes as Hidan, Sasori, and Deidara watched.
"Really?" He asked them. His meowing brought the woman's attention to them.
"Gosh you guys got attached quickly." She said taking off her loose pants and grabbing a tighter pair.
"Itachi is hiding in her purse to go with her now." He told the others, they ignored him.
Hidan jumped up on the bed to be closer to her. "Ya, whatever. Shut up I'm enjoying this." She paused while shirtless to pet him, which he gladly excepted. Deidara huffed and jumped on the bed too.
"You can't have all the attention,hn!" Hissed Deidara as he began rubbing on her as well. Kisame didn't see much point in fighting over her but at least they were doing his job of being distracting. He did find their posturing funny though, it was unlike she would pick one of them for whatever they were thinking.
He had to admit she had a very nice body. Granted the only reference he had was what he had payed for.
As she sat down to slip some shoes on he resolved he should do his part and went to circle round her feet. "You more comfortable now too Neptune?" She asked giving his ears a scratch. It felt amazing, much like eating chakra. Though it made him miss Samehada a bit.
"Well I gotta get going guys." She told them as she stood up. Kisame leapt off ahead for her to check if Itachi had safely hidden away yet. A simple nod from Kakuzu confirmed it.
"Ok I'll be back soon so you kitties be good while I'm gone." She told them before grabbing the medium sized bag off the side table and she left. Kisame hoped Itachi would be ok.
EndNotes:
Go to my profile to vote on who Mary should end up with.
I'm watching Naruto from the beginning myself so I didn't see this as to far a stretch I all so see Kisame down playing violence.