A/N:

Review review please and thank you!!!

Tell me what you think.

Chapter 3: Stitches

'I've got him, Edward it's ok, it'll be ok.' Emmett's thoughts were steady. Strong, he had it under control.

I didn't move, not trusting anyone around me.

"Emmett, Rose, get Jasper outside," Carlisle ordered.

Emmett nodded as he pulled Jasper backwards. "Come on, Jasper," he said with the last of his air. I realized then he was holding his breath to keep his control. I watched as he dragging our brother toward the door. Jasper continued to fight, turning his attacks on his captor. His thoughts were completely incoherent, just a jumble of violent, feral reactions.

Trying to escape, and get his pray. Get Bella. My Bella. I wouldn't let that happen.

I growled, louder this time, as I looked around, preparing to defend Bella against the rest of my ravenous family while also fighting my own urge to take her. Wisely, no one moved. No one else came closer,

'Do you see now?' Edward she doesn't belong with us. Period, she never does and never will.' Rosalie's thoughts were harsh and stern as she dragged Jasper from the room. I glowered at her and clenched my teeth, trying not to react to her. I was already beating myself up enough as it is.

I could tell Esme was getting weaker and more panicked her thoughts were of panic, for not herself, or Jasper, but for Bella, she wasn't strong enough. "I'm so sorry, Bella." she cried covering her face with her hands as she swiftly left the room.

Only Alice and Carlisle were left now. I heard Bella sight from behind me.

Carlisle stepped forward. Toward Bella. He held his hands up palms up. "Let me by, Edward." it wasn't an order. He wanted to make sure she was ok. His thoughts were purely on her injuries. Medical attention was needed. He said to me.

Alice still stood there frozen.

She looked up at me and showed me the future. That it was going to be ok. Bella would need stitches, but that was there was no immediate danger. Except me. My monster was roaring, raging inside me. A battle, no more like a war. To feed the thirst, or protect my love. There was no more danger. The only danger now was me. With out the urge to protect her, my thirst became more dominant than the need to protect her. I clenched my teeth and tried not the breath.

She was my love. I had to focus on that, and not the urge to end her life.

'Vitals are strong. She's not in shock, no broken bones. She seems alert.' Carlisle checked off all the things in his head for me as he examined Bella. I stood back and watched. She was horror struck, I could tell. It was unmistakable. She tried to calm herself for appearance sake. It didn't work. She should be scared. Terrified. The danger to her life was not out of the room. Oh no, it stood right there in front of her, watching. I was the danger now. The monster.

"Here, Carlisle." Alice said handing him a towel. She was helping. Why was I just standing there. I was scared, scared to move scared to breath.

He shook his head. "Too much glass in the wound." he said to her. 'she'll require stiches though. She'll be fine.' I heard him in his head. 'are you going to be ok?'

I didn't say anything. Still holding my breath.

Sure I was ok. I was perfect. Bella had been hurt yet again, because of my stupidity. And the only thing I could do was sit by and watch, holding my breath as he fixed her. Why did I put her in danger like this. With me in the picture she would always be in danger. Her life would always be at risk. I couldn't have that. But I couldn't leave her either. Could I?

Bella looked nauseated. The scent of blood I reminded myself. It made her ill.

"Bella, do you want me to drive you to the hospital, or would you like me to take care of it here?" Carlisle said compassionately to Bella. I knew the answer to that one, I didn't even need to read her mind for it. Even without seeing what Alice had.

"Here please." she said softly. Almost in pain.

"I'll get your bag." Alice said. She was strong, she loved Bella. But I also knew she need the escape for fresh air. Clear her head.

He nodded to her. "Lets take her to the kitchen table." He looked up at me.

'Go I have her Edward, it's ok.'

"I ignored his thoughts and walked toward Bella and gently picked her up. She was brave. If she could be, so could I. I wasn't going to faultier. I wasn't going to show weakness. I was in control. I had to be.

"How are you doing, Bella?" Carlisle asked as we walked.

"I'm fine," she said automatically. I could hear fear in her voice, and edge of panic still.

She was so close. Easy pray for the taking. The quick pulse, underneath her skin was just begging me to take it. Release it from its veins.

I heard a yell from outside, as Jasper fought against them. He was less thirsty now, but now he was filled with guilt and remorse. He was ashamed of himself. Alice stared sadly out the window.

Bella tried not to grimace as we adjusted her arm on the table, always the brave one.

Alice thoughts hit me quickly. 'don't even think it.' she said as my mind wondered outside to Jasper, Bella was sitting her broken again, and it was his fault I wanted him to pay. I looked at her apologetically. 'it's ok, he's just.' She sighed. 'I'm so sorry Bella' her thoughts went blank she didn't know what to say. Neither did I.

My throat burned, the venom was pooling in my mouth. My throat was as if there was a flame burning in my mouth. And ever swallow got hotter and hotter. I shook the monster down a little. Bella was the one in pain, she needed me to stay.

"Just go, Edward," Bella said, putting her needs below mine… again.

"I can handle it," I said, using up most of my remaining air.

"You don't need to be a hero. Carlisle can fix me up without your help. Get some fresh air." Carlisle injected her with a local anesthetic, and Bella inhaled through her teeth in pain. She was afraid of the needle, instead of the monster standing in front of her.

"I'll stay," I said with my last gasp of air. I would suffer in silence with her. She was strong enough to go through this, so I was too.

"Why are you so masochistic?" she mumbled. I didn't respond, I couldn't respond. I had no air left.

"Edward, you may as well go find Jasper before he gets too far. I'm sure he's upset with himself, and I doubt he'll listen to anyone but you right now." Carlisle agreed with Bella.

He wouldn't want me, he would want Alice I thought.

"Yes, go find Jasper," Bella added, finding her strength again as if to push me away.

"You might as well do something useful," Alice added, making it three against one. 'I'll be there soon, tell jazz please' she urged with her thoughts

Id run out of air, I couldn't refuse, I couldn't argue.

I wanted to take a breath,

. I nodded to my love before leaving. In moments I was across the lawn and in the trees.

The first sense I had of Jasper was his shame. 'I could have killed Bella. She was so scared. God what have I done?' then his thoughts went back to the ravenous monster inside him. It made me angry.

Esme was worrying . Always the mother. The mother bear protecting its young. She was worried for Jasper, for Bella and for me.

Rose was upset, and venting to Emmett. His attention wasn't fully there. His thoughts fluttered back to the house, back to Bella.

They all felt sympathetic toward Bella. All but Rose.

I shouldn't be here, I should be back at the house with Bella. But instead the monster that I am got the best of me.

"We should have just let him kill her. Save us all this trouble. For a stupid human!" Rosalie said. "Edwards going to be mad enough as it is. Why not give him something to be really upset about."

"Stop it, Rosalie, you will not think that way. She Is apart of this family now. What if something were to happen to Emmett?" Esme scolded.

There were no concerns in Rosalie's mind; vindication was the only thought in her head.

She was enjoying this all to much.

She stopped paying attention, her thoughts else where. To the what ifs of life. What if Jasper had succeeded what if James had. She let go of Jasper.

"Rose, he loves her, don't spoil this for him." Emmett said as he took his attention off of Jasper also. Jasper knew this was his chance. I saw it all in his head, his plan of escape. Rose had let go, and Emmett was trying to make her see reason. He took his chance. Yanked his arm free and was gone in the next second.

"Jasper!" Esme shouted with fear.

He ran, not for the thirst, but for the shame, he wanted to hide. Get away from the shame of it all.

I took off after him. He wasn't going to get away that easy. I had to keep telling myself what if I lost Bella. I had to think of Alice keep my anger under control.

I saw him within in seconds. I was on him in the next. I tackled him the forest floor.

He rolled me off, and I was up in a crouch, ready to attack within less than a second.

Jasper sprang to his feet. Ready. "Edward, please!" he begged. "I am so sorry, you will never know how sorry. I tried to stop, I really did. I couldn't. it was to much. Please."

I growled loudly at him, he sent a wave of calm at me trying to get my anger under control. It was beyond that now.

I shoved him against a tree. It snapped in to and fell to the forest floor behind him.

"You tried? You tried, that's it, it's ok because you tried. Bellas in shambles and fearing for her life. Bleeding. But its ok cause you tried!" I snapped.

"Please, you know I wouldn't hurt her on purpose! She's a sister to me! Edward." He sighed. 'is she ok?' his thoughts were coherent again. "is she.." I cut him off.

"You nearly killed her. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?" I yelled, shaking him violently. "Is she ok? What do you think! She nearly lost her life! What do you think?" I shouted at him again.

My heart felt what Jasper felt I saw it all in his head. The agony he felt. Just added to what I already felt. The fear the torture I felt every time I saw Bella laying hurt or broken. The van at school. Laying in a pool of her own blood in the ballet studio, and mere minutes ago from Jaspers attack. I was so frustrated. Frustrated with an impossible situation. I loved her, but I couldn't protect her. I couldn't protect the one thing I loved most in the entire universe. The only reason for my existence, and I cant even protect her.

Desiring to love her for a lifetime, but dying to kill her. And fighting ever day against the urge that I so longed for but refused with a passion. The future Bella and Alice both wanted, and both saw. I would not damn her. But I couldn't protect her.

The force of my emotion stunned Jasper, almost crippling. I threw him across the forest.

"This isn't fair! God is punishing me for a sin I didn't want!" I shouted. I dropped to the floor beneath me.

"Edward, I'm sorry."

"It's not fair." I didn't even look up at him as he put his arm on my shoulder and knelt beside me. "Why, why would he make me immortal. I always thought I was destined to meet Bella. If that's true, then why would it be this way. To meet her and love her. But not be able to keep her."

"You could.." He said softly.

I shrugged his arm off in anger. "I wont damn her to a life of eternal hell. I wont take her soul!" I snapped.

"Edward, but you cant live with out her either." He stated bluntly. It was true. I couldn't live with out her. But I couldn't keep putting her in danger. I was at a crossroads. Either way, would lead to heart break.

"Edward." I heard Esme call from behind me. Her arms were wrapped around me with in seconds.

"You don't understand. None of you do!" I shouted as I stood up. Letting Esme's mothering arms fall from me. "It's not safe from her, I cant protect her from the danger. She's always in danger if she's with me. Hell I can't even protect her from my own family. You don't know what it feels like!" I said as shoved Jasper out of my way knocking another tree down in the process.

Jaspers thoughts became angry.

"I may not know what it feels like to have to protect someone all the time. But that's your own choice! There are other options, your just to damn stubborn to listen! You want to know what I feel?" He shouted back at me, anger was in his head, just a jumbled mess of fury.

I just stared at him.

"You can hear others thoughts. Your curse as you so call it. That has to be annoying a buzz of thoughts that aren't your own. Imagine if that was other's emotions Edward! I can barely control it all. Hell I can barely manage it on some days! You can hear there thoughts, there thirst, there pain and suffering. There desires. But me, I've got the real curse. I experience it!" he shouted at me. "My throat is on fire, a blaze of flames. I feel the thirst you do when your with her. I understand your suffering. I feel it! But its even worse, that thirst you feel. Is just added the thirst already feel myself!" He his voice got sadder. "Now add five other vampires to the mix Edward. I couldn't control it. It was to much to bare. And I am sorry, you will never know how sorry I am. But understand one thing. I would never hurt her intentionally."

"Jasper." he waved his hand at me.

"Don't. I just wanted you to understand. You cant even imagine how it felt being in that room. I tried to, I really did. But your thirst alone is almost to much to bare. Let alone the rest of the families."

"She shouldn't of been in danger. I should have." he cut me off.

"you know your options Edward. You know what we all want. You know what she wants. Will you deny her of that. Deny yourself the chance to be with her forever? She would no longer be in danger. that's what you want most."

I growled at him viciously. I was not going to argue this with him to. I wanted to hurl him from my sight.

"don't!" I heard Alice come from behind us.

I didn't move.

"Edward."

"Esme, please. I wont argue this." I replied before she could even finish.

"Carlisle will be done soon." Alice said, answering my unspoken question.

Without another word I walked toward the house.

"Hm who got the worst of it. Did you beat Jasper up more, or yourself." Rosalie said smugly.

I growled.

"Rose." Emmett warned as I walked past her.

"You're the one at fault here, not Jasper!" She continued none the less ignoring her husband "You brought her here, you forced her on all of us. To play your stupid little game of house. So human! Now you know at least it will NEVER work. You cant think it will after tonight." She smiled at me.

I think I wanted to rip her head of even more than Jaspers.

I spun around fast and Emmett was suddenly in front of me, between Rose and my vicious snarl.

"Just go, you know Rose." Emmett said trying to shrug off her comment.

"Yes, go to your pet." Rose added. I was around Emmett before he realized it and Rosalie was thrown out the door.

He may have been stronger but I was faster.

"You bitch, how dare you!" I growled. I rarely used foul language, but Rose was asking for it.

Esme walked up to the house before I could react more.

"Come Edward." she grabbed me and pulled me back inside.

Emmett looked at me apologetically as he went to tend to Rose.

I glared back at her before shutting the door.

Her words were more than irritating, they stung with truth. My anger turned inward, where it belonged.

"I need to clean up the mess." she smiled at me. Trying to make me feel better, but it wasn't working.

I thought about all the things that have happen. All the pain I had caused Bella. She wasn't safe here, in a house full of vampires. I couldn't protect her. She would always be at risk. Always be in danger if I was with her. I had to do something. But I couldn't damn my angel.

Somehow I would have to find the strength to do what was right… the strength to free Bella of this world I'd brought down around her like the plague. It just kept coming.

I had made it come, with my own desire to keep her. I trapped her here, making her fall for me, love me. Only I could remove it. Only I could take it away from her forever.

I walked toward where Bella was.

I had to regain control before I could see her. But what then? Drive her to the brink of death again? I cleared my head. Locking the monster tight back in its cage where it belonged.

The false logic I'd been selling myself, that I was some kind of twisted guardian angel, could no longer fool me. I wasn't strong enough to protect her from harm with my presence, that was clear. But did I have the strength to take the danger, take myself away from the equation? Without me she would be safe. She was clumsy sure, but she wouldn't have the mythological creatures that go bump in the night to attack her. She would no longer be in danger, I would no longer put her life at risk. I had to make sure she was safe. That was my number one priority.

My attention turned to Carlisle's thoughts and to the sound of Bella's voice as I struggled with myself.

"The rest of them don't feel the same?" The sound of her words calmed me instantly. She truly was alright.

"Edward's with me up to a point. God and heaven exist … and so does hell. But he doesn't believe there is an afterlife for our kind." How many times have I tried to convince him otherwise? "You see, he thinks we've lost our souls."

Of course we have. But this was a very old argument. What had drawn Bella into it?

"I look at my …son. His strength, his goodness, the brightness that shines out of him—and it only fuels that hope, that faith, more than ever." How distorted his vision was… he struggled so hard to find some semblance of goodness in me where there was none. "How could there not be more for one such as Edward?"

Bella's head bobbed emphatically, and I pinched the bridge of my nose. He was glamorizing me, feeding her fantastic image of us, of me.

"But if I believed as he does…" His eyes moved to hers. "If you believed as he did. Could you take away his soul?"

What unexpected answer would she come up for this question?

I saw Bella's mouth open, then close, as she tried to respond. Carlisle had told her everything I tried to get her to realize in her crusade to become immortal.

She didn't say anything.

"You see the problem," Carlisle said.

"It's my choice."

"It's his, too, whether he is responsible for doing that to you." Carlisle's mind drifted to each of his children, lingering on me for a moment before fixing on Rosalie. There weren't words to describe his regret for bringing her into this life.

"He's not the only one able to do it." She looked expectantly at my father.

"Oh, no! You're going to have to work this out with him." he paused a moment. "That's the one part I can never be sure of. I think, in most other ways, that I've done the best I could with what I had to work with. But was it right to doom the others to this life? I can't decide. It was Edward's mother who made up my mind."

I listened as Carlisle recount the story of my change.

Bella was hypnotized by the tale, her face reacting with shock, concern, and compassion as he spoke.

"After all those years of indecision, I simply acted on a whim," Carlisle said wryly, verifying my assertion that I was always destined for this… life. But not her, not Bella. I wouldn't repeat the errors in judgment… her fate could not, would not, be mine. There was only one way to prevent it, I knew that now.

"I wasn't sorry, though. I've never been sorry that I saved Edward," Carlisle said, "I suppose I should take you home now."

"I'll do that," I said evenly. Bella didn't need to hear more fairytales on the way home. This world wasn't for her, and somehow I had to separate her from it… separate her from me. It was the right thing to do.

She looked up at me, trying to see how I felt. Read my face. I cleared my face. It was empty. No sign of emotion. I couldn't let her see my battle. My struggle between what I wanted and what was right. The right choice, the only choice.

I couldn't let her see that love could only win by losing… by losing her.

This would be the last time she could be here, surrounded by so much peril. Taking her from here would be the easy part. Removing myself from her life would be the impossible task. But I had no choice, now.

"Carlisle can take me," Bella said, staring into my eyes, and then down at herself.

"I'm fine," I replied. Seeing the worry in her face. "You'll need to change anyway. You'd give Charlie a heart attack the way you look. I'll have Alice get you something."

I left before she could start another argument. Not trusting myself to talk to her, or look at her for long. If I did, I would never be able to go through with it. Never be able to save her from this.

"What are you trying to decide?" she asked, coming to a stop next to me. Again the future swirled in her mind, but it was a dark fog.

'Edward, you are meant to be with her, don't doubt that. Just except it. For all our sake, not just yours' I knew she had guessed.

I walked away from her and stopped listening to her. I blocked her thoughts. I couldn't listen to hope. That hope would be the nail in Bella's coffin.

Bella's voice was what I heard next. "Esme, let me do that."

"I'm already done. How do you feel?"

"I'm fine" Bella said automatically. I knew that phrase all to well. She wasn't fine, she was just being brave. Always the brave one.. "Carlisle sews faster than any other doctor I've had." They both laughed lightly.

We stepped in, and Alice took over. "C'mon, I'll get you something less macabre to wear," she said, leading Bella upstairs.

"Are you all right, Edward?" he asked. Both he and Esme were trying to read my face, and for once being made of living stone was a good thing.

"No," I answered truthfully.

Esme thought about hugging me, but when I turned my frozen gaze on her she changed her mind.

"How's Jasper?" Carlisle asked.

"How's Jasper?" Bella echoed upstairs.

Typical, putting herself last, again. "He's fine," I said,

"This wasn't your fault." Carlisle tried to assure me.

"Don't. words are not enough right. The situation is unbearable." something had to be done, and I was the only one who could do it.

Carlisles thoughts were agony. For me. He was sorry for me. He kept saying it wasn't my fault as did Esme. But neither one of them would ever understand. How could they.

Could they give up the one they love, if it meant saving them. Protecting them? I thought about that for as second as Bella emerged, and I stood by the front door, wanting her to hurry, yet wanting time to stop.

I couldn't keep her in danger. I couldn't let her life be at risk any longer. But I couldn't imagine my life with out her.

"Take your things!" Alice cried as Bella turned to leave. "You can thank me later, when you've opened them."

Esme and Carlisle said goodnight. Everyone was watching me as I waved Bella to the door, but I refused to acknowledge them.

'What are you trying to decide, Edward?' Alice thought as I turned away.

Her inability to see my future only added to my worries. It only could mean one thing. I wasn't strong enough to follow through. How many more times would Bella pay for my weakness. How many times would her life be put in danger.

I opened her door silently. I didn't say anything, not trusting my own voice. She climbed into her truck.

We pulled away from my house. I put all my energy at the task at hand. All my thoughts on what needed to be done. I had to take her home. I had to keep her safe.

I had to let her live a normal human life. I had to save my love. Save her from the monster that was me.

I had to take her home. I had to leave. .

REVIEW!!! COME ON I KNOW YOU ALL CAN DO IT!! PLEASE AND THANK YOU!

THE MORE YOU REVIEW THE FASTER I COME OUT WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER.

SO.. YA LIKE!?!? LOL