damn it, I had this written out at least 4 paragraphs, it went funny while I wasn't looking and there's nothing.
Part of this is going to be pasted from a document from 2011 I had for this story. Yes, this story was waiting that long for me to finally do something about it.
Our letters didn't quite reach the other fast enough. So I spent time in Wei, visiting and taking care of my cousins. Mu, Fang and Ling had been hurt in the battle against Shu.
Mu was now the patriarch of the Jia branch of our family. He was always the serious one, intellectual, but also a good warrior with good intentions. He took care of his men, but he rarely was unprofessional around them, and they figured it out...and learned to appreciate his way of looking out for them.
Fang was still happy as ever, and already in the role of second fiddle to Mu, a position Mu used to play to my uncle and their father-Jia Xu. He was quite wounded, sustaining about twenty injuries, but that didn't douse his optimism. I heard others saying that he had already adjusted to the role after being 'handed' it. The serious side not many people knew about had been given a bigger role and reason to show.
Ling had stayed behind in one of the bases to hold down the fort, so she didn't have too many wounds, if any. You wouldn't be able to tell sometimes-she already had so many, I think as many as Zhou Tai sometimes. She's still really pretty though. She's also one of the only ones that know I'm married to a Jin officer.
If Mu found out, he'd freak out. Really, really badly. He was protective of me now, and he was protective of me when we were kids. So it'd become a running joke that he'd marry me if no one else did. He simply laughed at it, most of the time. Right now, he's married to Cai Wenji.
The people were in disarray. They were still counting losses, and gains, and deciding on their next move. In the confusion, I was surprised I got a letter at all.
[[This is the pasted part. When I went back to the document, I realized how odd Hui was there, so this is a little different.]]
Kai looked up as I entered the room. She held up a folded paper as she stretched. "Letter for you from guess who~"
"..." I walked over and took it, checking to see that she didn't read it beforehand. It was sealed and safe from her prying eyes. I left the room and went out into the gardens to read it.
We had been exchanging letters for a while now, all thanks to Ling. I sat under a tree and unfolded the letter. The name Suika greeted me. He liked to call me that, because no one else did and it immediately showed that I was his. It was kind of cute, and he was serious about that much.
In the letters he wrote, he didn't talk too much about politics or anything...we'd have enough already on our hands separately. Well, that's a lie, we DID talk about politics. And the state of things at the time.
It's gotten sort of tiresome here-it's boring me. So I might be in town the next time you close your eyes and think of me.
I giggled a little at that. He didn't like to admit out loud that he missed me or anything. I leaned back against the tree and closed my eyes. Yes, it would've been nice to see him, actually.
Either Ling or Kai walked towards me. "..." And then she sat down beside me for a few seconds. I felt her hands wrap around to cover my eyes. I pulled at them and turned to look at her.
Only, her was her, it was a him.
"Miss me?" he asked, smirking at me.
I don't know what I 'said' but it came out more like a laugh and a squeal and something else mixed into it. I think I almost knocked him to the ground. "Are you kidding me? YESS!" it took him a moment to balance himself, but he loosely wrapped his arms around me. "Oh, and that was pretty genius by the way, timing."
"It just so happened that my visit date and the day the letter would arrive collided so I got creative." he tossed his head, giving a look that was almighty.
[paste end]
My smile faded. There was something else. "My cousin is going to kill you if he finds you here."
"Why? Doesn't she k-" "It's Mu. I...didn't tell him we got married." "Oh. That's going to be a problem. Why didn't you tell him?"
He let go of me first and sighed. "I guess I'll tell him then. I'm only here for a day. How bad can it be?"
I didn't want to be the one to tell him-I didn't want to scare him off. He wasn't. But what happened next scared me.
He squeezed my shoulder in reassurance, and gave me half a smile.
Mu turned around and smiled at me, starting to speak, but his face fell when his eyes laid on Shiji. "Su...who is this?"
"This," I sighed, gesturing. "Is my husband. Zhong Hui."
Shiji nodded as a greeting. "Hello."
Mu tried to smile, like this was some big joke. "But Su, you're not..." he closed his mouth. "Zhong Hui, you said?" his tone came out calmer, and his face was still, except for the faint smile. This wasn't a good sign. He'd heard about Shiji, and of what his outer persona had done.
Not what his inner persona had told me, or how he had acted.
And as far as I knew, he didn't have any love for Zhong Hui. Shiji? Maybe not so much either.
Fang walked in at the same time, and he had a big grin. "Oh, hey, you have a doppelgänger-!" he shut himself up when Mu glanced at him rather menacingly. He focused on his cup, swirling around the tea leaves. "If you need tea," he nodded. He went towards the kitchen, and I kind of wish he hadn't.
Shiji's fingers dug into my shoulder, falling down to my waist and pulling my closer to him. "Yes. I take it you've heard of me?" his tone became cool, and light, and disturbingly pleasant.
Mu narrowed his eyes. "Yes-I've heard." he said promptly. "Nothing good." he crossed his arms. He looked at me. "Su, may I speak to you? Privately?" his eyebrows cocked up for a second, and his eyes flared the same.
We were in the corner of the kitchen, and Fang had left a pot of tea boiling on the stove, so that covered our voices. We were still half-whispering, though. He raised his eyebrow at me, bemused. "Really."
"Really," I nodded slowly. "We married more than a few months ago."
He twitched. "And you didn't tell me," his foot tapped slowly, and rhythmically, probably trying to keep his fury from spilling out all at once.
"You would've reacted the same." I pointed out. He wouldn't find reasons to like people, but he wouldn't outright display his dislike for them.
"..."We stared at each other.
"..." He could be intimidating if he wanted to be, but I could be stern, to make a point, too.
"..." he exhaled, uncrossing his arms. "I'll give you that one. But seriously. Why him? He's no good."
"You don't know him," I crossed my arms.
"Like Hell I don't know him," his voice raised a little. "I don't need to. I know enough," he said pointedly. "His ambitions will surely be the end of him. He's arrogant. I've heard of him, his mannerisms. His way of speaking. He is a narcissist. He thinks the world should look up to him. That he is the Chosen One. Well? Can he really do anything? What is it that he wishes to do? Does he want to make tomorrow better? Because I'm not seeing any change. Just a lot of talk."
I frowned. I could counter that. He just wouldn't listen-if he did, he'd still be very doubtful until he saw it himself. "He only seems that way. You don't know him behind doors," I looked down. "You're not the person he talks to about things other than the current state of things. You're not my father-I'm old enough to make my own decisions."
"Yes, but it is the right decision? You're spending the rest of your life by his side. And if he really is a good man," he narrowed his eyes. "How can he possibly provide support to you when he's busy fending off his own enemies? You know they can just as easily turn onto you."
I nodded. "I understand that, Mu. Very well, in fact." Everybody dies. People died in their 20s or even younger, fighting out in the wars. Some died without fighting, some were only really beginning to gain consciousness about their lives-hold the reins of their destiny.
And then-gone. Just like that. I promised Shiji to put my life in his hands, and his mine. I promised to take him for better or worse, in ill health or good. And we swore to uphold that promise. Because it was the only thing we could truly hold onto in an era where everything changes so quickly. And bonds are broken and mended or made so quickly.
"..." His face fell when he studied mine. The fire in his eye died out. He wasn't going to win this one. "Fine. But please, be extremely careful. I don't want to explain any complications that come up. And I most certainly don't need this. I suppose this is your first step as a matriarch, huh?" he shook his head. "You do understand what things this might turn into, yes?"
"I do." You would be a fool not to. "I do."
Mu left him alone for the rest of his stay, and they scarcely exchanged words. Shiji gave him a smile once or twice, but Mu always passed by too fast to interact. It was probably better that way.
We were walking into one of the guest rooms they had allotted me-and by extension him-and he started to whisper. "He doesn't like me. I don't blame him."
I giggled. They were both alike-it was just understood that neither of them wanted to admit it. They were both intellectuals, and good enough to be strategists. And their hair was similar, although Mu left his like that because he wore helmets very often. Hui never really bothered, just doing enough to keep his hair from loping over his face, or looking too awkward. He did that once.
He woke up still half-asleep but rather wide-eyed being so. His hair pressed over the upper portion of his face, looking wet, so he couldn't see so well, and he was so confused from the looks of it. He stuffed a pillow in my face when he finally looked at me and saw that I had been staring at him.
I laughed at the memory, and he gave me a funny look. He pushed my face away, and almost into a pole, before pulling me back.
WOO. THINGS GOT KINDA SERIOUS. I was feeling it too while I wrote it actually. ;-;