Chapter 3 : Apology

She knew the second he stepped into the room. The ambiance of the whole room changed like an electric charge had run through it. His footsteps were slow and hesitant, something was bothering him. She kept fingering the pages of the book like she hadn't noticed him coming in. She had yet to master the skill of reading Braille and she was hoping she wouldn't really have to. Only time would tell if her eyesight would come back, or so the doctor had told her.

His footsteps stopped at the end of the bookshelf a few metres away from where she was sitting on the floor. She could feel him watching her, deep in thought.

"Sonya?" he said, clearing his throat so as not to frighten her.

She instinctively turned her face towards his voice and was disappointed not being able to see him. His voice sounded very reassuring, it instantly made her feel safe. She was finding the fact that only his voice could have such an electrifying effect on her very disturbing. She didn't really know him, but somehow she felt completely safe with him. She gave her best effort to smile at him despite her still not being able to see.

"Yes, detective? Is something the matter?"

She could hear him shuffling his legs uncomfortably before he answered.

"Please, call me John. Everything is all right, I thought it was high time I explained some things to you."

Sonya put the book down and made to rise up, when she faltered and was caught with two strong hands. He gently helped her up and for a few moments they both just stood there, frozen in place. Sonya felt her whole body start to tingle and her cheeks getting warm. She kept her face down, not wanting him to see her blushing like a teenage girl. She felt his hands tighten reflexively, and slowly loosening as if it was taking an effort on him to control his fingers. The silence was getting really heavy and her breathing was becoming unsteady. How could him touching her have such an impact on her senses, it was like she was losing control of her nervous system.

Suddenly he jerked and let go, stepping a few paces back. He again cleared his throat which made her think he was nervous.

"I would appreciate that, det...John. Maybe we should sit down somewhere."

"There's a sofa around the corner. Here, let me help you." He said, putting his hand on her back and started leading her forward. Her walking was unsteady and slow, she was still getting used to relying on her other senses to guide her. She could feel the pressure of his hand on the small of her back and somehow it made it even harder to concentrate on walking. I'm such a git for letting him influence me like this, she thought while they were making their way through the library.

"Here's the sofa." He said, guiding her to sit down.

"Thanks."

Sonya exhaled slowly, making herself comfortable on the sofa. She could hear him moving nervously towards the nearby window. People like him were never nervous or at least didn't show it. He must have something bad to tell me.

"Is there something on your mind, John?" she asked, turning her face towards him.

She could hear him shifting restlessly before he answered. "I don't know where to start explaining all this. There's quite a lot to tell."

"It's something bad, isn't it? Have I gotten myself into some kind of hitlist or something?" She said, sighing deeply and shaking her head. She felt him move to sit beside her on the sofa and taking her hands in his. Her cheeks blushed yet again at the unexpected contact but she didn't try to take her hands away from his grip.

"First of all I'm not actually a detective. " She inhaled sharply and tried to free her hands from his but he kept them in a strong grip." If I was going to hurt you why would I have saved you? I promise I won't hurt you. I told the doctor I was a detective so as not to raise too many questions. We - my friend and I - we help people like you. People who are in trouble. Sometimes we have to resort to methods not exactly in accordance to the law so it's very important for us to stay under the radar. Some very bad people have their eye on you and I consider it my job to keep them from getting to you. If I had another choice I wouldn't have lied to you. "

Her hands had relaxed in his grip of their own accord, she was still apprehensive about what John was telling her. She exhaled slowly and nodded slightly. " Okay, but how can you know when people are in trouble? And why do you feel it's your job to help me? You don't even know me." She heard him sigh, like she had asked the one question he had hoped she wouldn't.

"I'm sorry I can't tell you how I come by my information. But it's my job because I'm the only one who's in a position to help these people. And I don't need to know you to know that you don't deserve to be a victim. "

" Fine, let's say I believe you. Who were those men that took me? And why would they want me? "She decided she wasn't in any immediate danger so she might as well listen what he had to say.

" I don't know who the men were yet but I have and idea why they wanted you. " He took a deep breath and told Sonya all that he had learned from Finch. She was silent but for some small sounds of surprise, disbelief and sorrow.

" This can't be true! I would remember something like that happening. And my parents wouldn't have kept this from me. " She knew she was starting to panic a little and was oddly comforted by his thumbs tracing circles on her knuckles. She could feel tears welling in her eyes and was a little bit shocked when she felt his thumbs swiping them from her cheeks." I'm sorry this hurts you. I wish I could spare you from all this. But I do promise you I will keep you safe. " He took her hands in his again and squeezed them gently.

How could this be happening to her? Nothing ever happened to her. Her life was simple and boring. " Thank you John. For saving me. I can never repay you. "

She felt him pull away slightly and this time it was her hands that kept his in their grip, not letting him draw away. " What's wrong? "

He cleared his throat, clearly a little uncomfortable. " I'm sorry. Sorry I let you get hurt. "

Let her get hurt? He blames himself for her blindness? She could hear the anguish in his voice and her heart went out to him. "I don't remember you making me jump in front of a flashgrenade. It was my choice."

"I was supposed to protect you, not the other way around. I made a mistake and you suffered for it."

She could hear it in his voice, he was angry with himself. She was alive wasn't she? That was a lot more than she'd be without his interference. She smiled tenderly and raised her hand to cup it on his cheek.

"No. You don't get to blame yourself for something I did. I couldn't bear to see you get hurt because you were helping me when I most needed it. You saved my life. I can never repay you for that. And I certainly couldn't live with myself if something had happened to you because I got myself into a mess I couldn't get out of." The second her palm touched his stubbled cheek she heard his sharp intake of breath and felt him stiffen all over. Her own face was reddening and her breathing was a little irrational but she kept her hand where it was because she felt he needed the contact to really hear what she was saying.

For a few moments they both stood there, deep in their own thoughts. Unconciously he lifted his hand to cover hers and it was like lightning had struck her. Her eyes went wide and her breath caught. The emotion filling her was completely new to her and she had no idea what to do with herself. Suddenly she could hear a buzzing sound and John let go of her hand.

"What is it, Finch?"

Sonya knew he had answered a call from his boss, mr Finch, so she kept silent and waited for him to finish.

"I'm on my way." John released her other hand and she instantly missed his touch. "I have to go. Finch found a lead on the people trying to hurt you. I'm going to go check it out."

"Okay. Please be careful."

"Always am."

And with that he was gone. Sonya was left with the silence and her own thoughts once again. How on earth had she gotten herself into a mess like this.

AN - Please leave a review if you have time. I would much appreciate to hear what you thought. Both positive and negative feedback is welcome.