Sorry for the lack of updates :( I promise chapter 4 will be much longer than this chapter. -erika xoxo
chapter 3 | I never thought I would be the one who's so caught up
As I walked home, I kept calling Blake hoping he'd pick up only to be introduced to disappointment. Why did he just leave me like that? I don't understand what goes through his mind anymore. It seems as if time has only changed him and caused us to grow apart. By the time I entered the opening of my neighborhood, my clothes were heavy and soaked in rain water. The rain started to lighten up, but it didn't stop. It continued to lightly sprinkle during the entire walk.
I glanced at my phone to see if Blake had called or even texted, but still nothing. When I reached home, I sat on the curb in front of my house and just skimmed through my contacts. Cody 'Dorkface' Simpson. That was the name his number was under. All this time, I never had the heart to erase it. I figured-no...I hoped that one day he'd call and everything would be the same between us again. I missed my best friend and I would've done anything to have him back. Now, I don't know how I feel. I care about him, but the concept of reconciling with him has been something I've long given up on.
"Nollie?" I heard my mom say at the door, "Why are you all wet? Where's Blake? Come inside you'll get sick!"
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. Not to sound melodramatic or anything, but I really didn't feel like having humans around me at the moment. But since I also wasn't in the mood for a lecture from my mother, I decided to listen to her and come inside. I quickly ran upstairs and went into the bathroom. I stripped off my cold, damp clothes and hopped into the burning hot shower. It felt euphoric feeling the warm water envelope my shivering body. Any stress I had about Cody or Blake was quickly washed down the drain. If only this feeling could last even after I get out of the shower.
"What did you say?" my mother asked.
After my calming bath, I had gotten dressed and joined my mother in the kitchen, drinking a warm cup of hazelnut coffee. I told her everything that happened. About the radio, about Cody, about Ally, about Blake. She's known Blake and I have been, for a lack of a better word, 'unaffectionate' lately. What came as a shock to her were the Simpsons being back in town.
I shrugged, staring at the steam floating into the air from the coffee in my mug.
"I didn't say anything. He was busy." I answered nonchalantly.
"Well that's just stupid. He should've taken a quick second to say 'hello' at least."
"It's fine, mom. Besides, I doubt he would've said anything even if he did have a minute."
"Nollie Elizabeth Lawrence-"
My mother was cut off by the doorbell. I went to answer it before she could move a muscle. I was desperate to get away from the awkward tension in the kitchen. Besides, I knew it was probably Blake coming to check up on me. We may not be 'affectionate' anymore, but habits are hard to quit and he can't help but act upon the habits of being a boyfriend. I opened the door confidently only to have my expectations crushed. It wouldn't be the first time today, anyways.
"Cody?" I gasped, "W-What are you doing here?"
He didn't answer. He just stood there like a statue with his mouth slightly agape. I raised my eyebrows and stood there, anticipating his answer once he figured out how to speak again. It was my way of trying to hide the fact that I was shocked. Probably more shocked than he was right now. Although, I wasn't completely sure if he was shocked or just frightened.
"I-I just wanted to come by and say..." he trailed off, entering his trance again.
I tilted my head forward a bit. "To say what?"
"Uh...hi."
I scoffed. "Okay...hi...bye."
Before I could close the door all the way, he stopped it with his arm.
"No I also was hoping we could talk. Y'know...catch up and stuff."
I sighed. "Cody, if you really wanted to talk to me you would've called me back a year ago. You would've said 'goodbye'. You're just here because you feel like you're obligated to say you want to catch up after seeing me today. I know you, Cody. I know that if you didn't come here and say the right words, you won't be able to live down the guilt. It's okay. You don't have to feel bad. I'm used to being ignored by you already."
Before he could say anything else, I closed the door. Even with the stupid piece of wood between us, I could still feel his blue green eyes piercing right through me. To answer the year long question I've been asking myself the past year: I guess I didn't need my best friend anymore. I cared about him, but I didn't need his sympathy. Quite frankly, I didn't need him in general. Just as I was coming to the realization, I heard faint voices coming from the front porch on the other side of the door.
"C-Cody, right?" the male voice said in an awkward tone.
"Oh..." Cody answered, "Hi Blake."