"I am the Overlord, and I have chosen to be evil because it's so much freakin fun and my mother didn't love me enough as a child."
Wally snorted.
This has to be the weirdest monologue I've ever heard, as weird as anchovies on pizza, which is totally not right. Pizza...
Pizza is delicious, like cheesy slices of greasy heaven. I wonder if the lipids in pizza grease are easily combustible?
"I have Daddy issues, too." The man whined, trying to explain away his actions and inadvertently drawing Wally's attention back to the matter at hand.
Oh, yeah...
I'd almost forgotten the psychopath who strapped me to a table. Silly me. This is why I hate psych class, give a guy a textbook, and he justifies himself becoming a supervillain., Wally thought, rolling his eyes liberally.
"Daddy wouldn't play with me and he never gave me what I wanted for Christmas, or Hannukah."
Wally could hear the man sniffling, as if he'd been told both his parents were dead and his cat had been eaten by his dog who was hit by a semi that ran over his grandmother who was carrying his grandfather's heart medicine who died of a heart attack without it.
"Let me guess, you got the Hawaiian Luau Barbie when what you really wanted was California surfing Barbie?"
Sarcasm... Yep, when I get kidnapped sarcasm is really going to help convince my captor to release me, Wally berated himself.
"No," the Overlord whimpered, "I wanted Fairie Princess Barbie and Daddy bought me Ken. What sort of father purchases their child a tiny plastic homosexual for Christmas?"
Wally sighed internally.
If you want to add glitter to that glue you're sniffing, that's fine, but don't dump your whack-a-doo all over me. I'd rather not step in it.
He contemplated saying it out loud until a flash of metal in the edge of his vision made Wally stiffen. The man was not only a maniac, he was a scalpel wielding maniac.
Add another point to the man's score. That leaves me with...
Overlord 4, Wally 0.
Wally took a second to recalculate that. Hair like his had to be worth something.
"As an evil entity, I plan on taking over the world and killing off people I don't like, people with accents, women with big hair, men with beards, men with goatees, women with goatees, etc..." Overlord sniffed loudly, seeming pleased with his plan.
"So, my dear, dear boy, I am going to torture you to death in the name of science because I'm a delusional psychopath headed towards world domination."
Where he lay bound, Wally raised his eyebrows. "Sociopath," he corrected. "Honesty. I really didn't see that one coming... Though I can understand the hair fetish."
The Overlord chuckled.
"However," Wally sighed, abruptly cutting off the chuckling, "you obviously have no creativity. Every bad guy kidnaps and tortures superheroes, but what bad guy have you ever heard of that lets them go?"
There was a moment of silence.
"That's true."
The Overlord's change of tone made Wally shiver against the cold metal holding him in place. In that moment, he wished he could run, wished he could escape.
I would kill to run away right now.
"It is not my plan that makes me unique, it's how I carry it out. I have some marvelous things planned for you."
Latex surgical gloves brushed Wally's neck as the Overlord snapped something into place around it.
Wally choked as the collar pressed tight against his airways. He vibrated and bucked, fingers clawing and scrabbling to remove it. He tried to yell, and an electrical current ran through his body, burning, searing. The yell morphed into a silent scream.
"As you said," the Overlord brushed a few strands of red hair away from the tightly clenched green eyes. There was amusement in his voice that made bile rise in Wally s throat.
"I'm not much of a conversationalist."
There was a moment of silence while he contemplated his prisoner.
"Besides, you have great hair."
Footsteps echoed as the man walked away, leaving Wally to his suffering.
Wally shook in muted agony, unable to rein in his screams, and each time he screamed, he received another jolt from the collar.
Screw this, I don't even have to run. I would ride a segway if it meant I could get away.
Wally grinned through his pain at the thought of Robin's reaction if Kid Flash drove away from an exploding underground torture room on a Segway.
But he wouldn't have to know, a part of Wally argued.
Yeah right, you try hiding something from one of the Bats, the saner side of him countered.