Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.
Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.
In his daughter's eyes
Chapter 3
Lelia had been so excited at the idea of seeing her uncle Willem that she had had troubles to get asleep the previous night, yet she was full of energy when the morning came. She had ran in her father's room and woke him up, making him smile. The little girl loved family gatherings, especially when it was about the Lannister side of the family, it was always funny and she had a blast everytime. Lancel thanked the Seven that Lelia left his room when he got up as a wave of dizziness hit him again.
"Coffee will help." He thought
Despite the fact that he hated coffee with passion. However, it was the only thing that managed to keep him on the road. He considered it a necessary medicine, one that tasted like something rotten but one that would help you out. Lelia had picked up her outfit herself and he had to admit he was impressed she thought of everything. She wanted to wear her favourite green dress, but as it was a summer dress, she added white and warm high socks, black and warm shoes and she even thought of having a waistcoat, counting also her coat. His girl never ceased to amaze him by her maturity. The day she was born felt like yesterday and yet, in one signle moment, she was five, picking outfits, and cleaning her room before he could even ask her to.
"She does all that so that I don't have to. It's sweet, but she is trying to protect me. She should be a child, act like a child... I'm such a joke of a father... My daughter can't even enjoy being an average kid... Elora would have never let that happen... I should have died instead of her... I wouldn't have made such a difference."
His back resting near the kitchen sink, his cup in his hand, he watched as his baby girl was going to the bathroom. He hated himself for thinking that he should have died, he knew that Lelia would have been just as upset. Yet, he couldn't help but feeling this way.
"What's wrong with me?"
He didn't have time to wonder for too long. Soon enough, Lelia asked him if he could make her hair into a crown. He drank the last drops of that disgusting brown liquid, put on his best face and started to head towards her.
Lelia needed a working father, not a sobbing mess.
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Lancel smiled as he was watching Lelia playing with Marissa Frey, Willem's girlfriend. Myrcella had joined them and her own child had been willing to play along.
"Cute kid. Can't deny she's yours. She looks just like you." He heard someone say as she was placing herself near him
He looked at her, trying to replace her. Maybe someone from high school. He didn't know. He hadn't kept in touch with his former comrades. She was familiar. And he had to admit he was breath taken. She looked magnificent! Even her pinched face was cute! She was tall, she had brown doe eyes, long and blonde hair with some red gleams. From what he could see, as her outfit was sexy without being trashy or skimpy, she had long legs and wore heels to enhance that fact. He didn't dare look at other parts of her. It would have been unproper. He wondered why he was so swept of his feet simply by looking at her. He saw women everyday and no one had made him feel that way, so he couldn't blame loneliness.
"And you're still dashing as ever, Lancel Lannister. I would have totally tried to have you in my bed back in my days. Maybe I could enter back into business just for your pretty face." She joked
"Amerei?" He asked, unsure. It would make sense, she was Marissa's sister.
She simply smiled at him.
"I know. I changed a lot in eight years. Gained some more inches, stopped being a Gatehouse... It was fun and I could start again, but I needed to get my priorities straight. A good situation first."
"Look at me. I changed a lot too. A widow with a young daughter. High school seems so far away."
"Yes, he good old times where a nice kiddo decided to record me and put me online..."
"He got five years of jail."
"Hope he got more, if you see what I mean."
He chuckled. She hadn't lost her sense of humour. She looked at Lelia and smiled again.
"She looks so precious. You must be proud."
From the smile on Lancel's face, she could see it was an understatement.
"She's my most precious treasure."
He held himself from saying she was all he had. Instead, he asked her what she had been doing. It appeared she had travelled a lot, explaining why she wasn't around. Dorne, the Free Cities, beyond the Fallen Wall... She had come back just in time for her sister Walda's wedding and had settled down. She had had some boyfriends, Pate, Harwyn, but it didn't last. All they wanted was sex and though she still loved that activity, she was tired of sleeping around just for the sake of having sex. She wanted to feel cared for through that act. Deep down, that was always what she had sought, her parents were so cold towards her. Lancel could understand and relate.
"I am so sorry about Elora... She was such a sweetheart... It must be hard for you on so many levels... You have to care for your child, you have to work so that you two can live..."
"My situation isn't dire and money isn't an issue."
"I know. But it eats your time. I hope you manage to grant yourself some time just for you."
He didn't answer to that and she noticed how he looked away. She undertstood and vowed to herself that she would make him go out and enjoy life as a man, not simply as a father. She couldn't blame him for putting his daughter first, heck she found it admirable, her own father didn't even bother. But she could see he was neglecting the fact that he was a man, a living being, as well as being a father. That he had forgotten that fact.
"We could have a drink together some time. When you don't work and when your kid is at school, so that you don't have to worry about her."
He didn't answer to that as well.
"At least, he didn't say no." She thought
Marissa called her over. She excused herself and went to her. Lancel felt kinda happy to have meet her again. She had matured but she had remained that cheerful and funny young woman he had briefly known. He laughed when he saw her expression when Lelia asked her if she was a princess because she was looking so pretty. He drank to that. Hearing Lancel's laughter made Dorna smile. Kevan and her hadn't hear him laughing in a long time, laughing with a genuine laugh and for a brief moment, he looked like he was actually 26 years old, he sounded like the cheerful boy he had been once. There was still hope, maybe... She hoped so. Because Martyn was right, Lancel looked like he was about to break at any moment. He looked exhausted, both physically and psychologically. And yes, her son wasn't known for being quite coloured, he wasn't known for being fat, he wasn't known for being very muscular. But here he stood, so white she was sure her sheets would look dirty compared to his skin, way too thin, too lanky... She blamed herself for not seeing it earlier. Lancel didn't speak to them about it, true, but that was her job to care for her children, even if they were independent. She watched as her husband went to him and as they started to chat. When asked if he was okay, because he looked unwell, she heard him reply he was tired due to work but as he was going to have days off soon, all would be well again.
"Lancel, you know we're here for you, right?" Kevan asked him
"I know, Dad. It's just been unusually busy at work. Sometimes, I wish I didn't have to sleep at night, to have more time to do all I need to do."
"Well, I hope you keep that as a wish."
Father and son chuckled at the joke.
XXXXX
"Ami looked so surprised I wanted to be her friend." Lelia told her father as she was laying in her bed
"Ami?" He asked
"Amerei. She told me I could call her Ami."
He nodded. Lelia closed her eyes after he kissed her goodnight and went fast asleep, tired from her eventful day. He could feel his own eyes closing too. Fortunately, it was a weekend night, they could sleep in. As he was in his bed, surrounded by darkness, he thought back on Amerei's offer.
"It doesn't mean anything. Having a drink with a woman doesn't mean I will date and marry that person."
He tried his best to convince himself and to fall asleep as he was ashamed of himself. Amerei Frey would have been proud though, to be able to make a man hard while not touching him and keeping her clothes on.
To Be Continued