Whats that about? Why would he call me? Drink coffee with me? He must be insane.I dont know whats that but that cant be good. More likely, that cant be..

I could not help but thinking that it could have been Michael who called. I got excited for no reason when I saw an unregistered number but of course it couldnt be Michael. I wonder what is he doing right now. He must be with Katherine. Doing... I dont know, couple things? Michael is a romantic, although I never got to see that side of him. He came and he gone.. What was I thinking?

I never got over him. He was the one of many missing things I had in my life. Like a family and a life. We dated like three weeks. Well.. more like I waited by the phone for three weeks. We went out for dinner one time, it was a short evening. Probably did not mean anything to him but I was thrilled. I remember how happy I was and I remember how I believed things could go better for me from then on and then I remember the phone call from Michael the other day "I dont think we are suitable for each other Evelynn". I stopped breathing at that moment and I could never breathe again.

Three weeks wasn't much but I expected a lot, I guess. It usually happens when I dream a lot. The last thing I heard, he got back to his ex-fiancee. As usual, other people moved on, I was like 'dont know what to do'. It' s not his fault. Seriously. I dont blame him. I wouldnt want to be with me either, I mean look at me. I am fully aware that there is nothing I could give to a man... literally nothing. But it is not a crime if I wanted to know what is it like. What is it like to be safe, to be loved, to know that there is someone to protect you, how is it like to not to be scared at nights, falling asleep without thinking of ' what if they come to my door? what if they find me? what if it all happen again?'. I guess I asked for too much.

The thing is, he could have saved me if he wanted. It was just so easy. There is a discrimination like me and the rest of the world. There is a fine line between and all he had to do was to hold my hand and take me to the other side of that line and I was going to be one of them, one of the normal people I watch everyday.

Anyway, I need to study. Being on a scholarship was hard enough for me and when Michael was gone, the world collapsed before me. I was going back to my old life waking from a fantasy I produced and as a result, I lost one of my scholarships. I was having difficulties paying my rent, feeding myself and living a life. I had to pass my failed lectures to gain it back, so I could have a real dinner. And the worst is,winter was almost here.

-
Now I have seen the playroom, I' ve seen every corner of this house, but that locked door has been bugging me ever since I met Christian. What was behind that? Sometimes Christian goes to that room, closes the door and sits in the dark for hours. I' m going to loose my mind! Why am I not allowed in there? Why none is allowed?!

"Good morning Miss Steele"

"Good morning Mr. Grey" I smiled at him. He smiled back running his hand through his hair. Sleepy Christian was adorable.

"Breakfast?" he asked. I got excited by an idea.

"Actually, I want to sleep a few hours more" I told him

"Oh, you got too tired last night Miss Steele?" he smiled. I blushed

"Obviously" I replied.

"As you wish" he said and went to shower. I heard the running water and I falled asleep.

When I woke up, Christian was off to work. It was my only chance. Either I was going to do this or I was gonna loose it.

I made my way to the room and found it unlocked. Of course, Christian must have been in before he went out for work. Even Gail could not go in without permission. She knew what was that room about but she would never tell me.

The door was unlocked.. that' s what matters now...
I didnt know what to find inside. I' ve seen the playroom, so what could this be? The curtains were tight closed and it was almost dark. I turned on the lights. I didnt have much time.

It was a regular bedroom but definitely different from the aura of the condo. It was more.. childish.. and comfy... and felt absolutely safe.

A fireplace, that was interesting. Large pillows in front of the fireplce. A big twin bed again filled with soft pillows, a tv -which was a first in this house,a tv in a bedroom- softy rugs, a desk and a bookshelf. A large sofa by the window accross the fireplace. The room was all bright coloured. It was definitely so different from the rest of the apartment. I felt great in the room. I felt like a child who is safe all the time. No evil thing can get to me. But there was something about that room. Like the owner left in a hurry or the owner didnt know it was the last time he/ she saw this room while leaving it.

Now I knew it was not Mia' s. His sister never slept over and he couldnt stand her a full night although he loves her so. I walked over to desk and found an ipod, a shut down blackberry and books. Study, perhaps. The most played song of the ipad was Mary Elizabeth Mcglynn- Letter From The Lost Days. It was terribly depressing.

"what the hell are you doing here?" His voice almost scared me to death and when I turned around I saw Christian was staring at me in shock. He was mad, really mad and he looked like as if I broke something sacred.

"I wanted to know what was in here"

"How many times have I told you that no one is allowed here! NO ONE!"

I got my courage to ask him. I had to. Now or Never

"Whose room is it Christian? I think it' s time you shared this with someone or whatever you are keeping will kill you"

It worked. He looked at me -still very careful- with sad, tired eyes. After a struggle within he answered

"Evelynn' s" Evelynn? Old submissive? Never heard of her..

"Who is Evelynn?"

"Does it matter? She is dead"