Disclaimer I don't own Dragonball Dragonball Z or Dragonball Super each are respectfully owned by Toriyama

He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God

Aeschylus

Videl hummed a pleasant tune as she carried her babbling daughter to the family car. "Gohan, we'll be back soon ok, I have to take Pan to her appointment" Gohan nodded and approched her kissing his wife softly.

"Alright honey, you both stay safe alright" Videl giggled and nodded "Don't worry we will" and with that she was gone.

The smile slowly dropped from his face as he watched the vehicle get farther and farther away.

Gohan stared blankly at the door an almost numb feeling setting into his bones as he fell back against the wall his head in his hands. Gohan had realized a long time ago burying his emotions caused nothing but grief and just recently it came to rear it's ugly head once more.

"AHAHAHAHAHA! So the son of Goku is all grown up," Gohan grunted feeling his legs chest and arms pierced by Frieza's death beams "Oh how poetic, this will be so very fun imagine Goku's face when he shows up to the dead carcass of his son" Gohan groaned holding in the scream of anguish as he felt more beams shoot through his body. Chuckling Frieza stared at him amused "Now then let's be done with this shall we" a devastating blast shot towords him as he closed his eyes excepting his fate.

A loud sizzling sound was heard as the smell of burt flesh wafted throughout the air and that's when he opened his eyes to see Piccolo taking the blow for him much like he did long ago, as his voice echoed through his head like a distant memory of the past itself. 'Something's changed...No matter what happens to you Gohan. I will always be there to protect you'

No...not again..not again! "NOOO! PICCOLOOOO!" The explosion of power shocked everyone as he pulled on everything he had. "Gohan stop!" but he ignored the monk as he focused on pulling every last bit of his energy out so his father could lock on. "Oh, how amusing, at this rate he might actually blow himself up" Frieza jeered as he screamed louder the pounding in his head getting worst before it just stopped...before he just stopped.

Gohan felt hot tears roll down his cheeks as he thought about his best friend and mentor, It was all his fault that he died that day to protect him that...he didn't deserve to be protected after all this time he'd failed not only at life but as a student aswell.

THE PAIN...it hurt so bad to see him lying there defiled, but what was worst is that because of there close bond...he could feel it all until...nothing. You'll laugh at your fears once you realize who you are. Gohan stared lifelessly across the room, what exactly was he? A failure or maybe a killer, now he acknowledged the feeling of shame and no matter how much his life changed it always held the same truth.

He was a failure...someone you couldn't rely on! a goddamn joke, a washed up FAKE! all his life he fought because he had to...not because he wanted to. No...wait that wasn't true either, he liked to fight but not to throw his life away for the sake of a world who can't even see through the lies of a loudmouth coward.

Gohan growled lightly as he made his way outside finding a spot near the tree where Piccolo used to meditate in peace. He sat there and breathed in and out. his temper would never improve that was for sure.

"Look. I'm giving you a chance to end this without violence. I really don't want to kill you. Even if your evil, you can still walk away. I'm not interested in fighting you just for the challenge, my Dad's the one who cares about that stuff..."

"I've gotta be strong! Everyone's counting on me, I can't let them down! like against the Saiyans... or the Ginyu force, or Frieza. Whenever my friends needed me most I was always too weak or too scared to help them. I've been letting them down my whole life!

The tree behind him split from the force of his erratic Ki as memories assulted him like Frieza's minions, the self resentment and lack of confidence never truly went away from all those years ago, it only sat in the corner of his mind and taunted him adding fuel to his already dangerously uncontrolled flame.

A dry almost hollow laugh filled the air. Who was he kidding, he'd never change and like many times before the only thing that would be different about him would be how he put himself back together afterwards.

What? you never wondered why his personality and ideals seemed to shift multiple times over the years, Gohan chuckled but there was no humor in his voice, you could compare him to shattered glass if you'd like, Because no matter how many times it broke it would always be put back together a little different then before.

He was the literal definition of a Broken man he'd fallen so many times and he'd been used and abused by the people he cared for till he didn't even recognise himself anymore.

It...hurt. To always be subject to such an odd form of peer pressure.

Gohan grunted as he fought with his father during the hyperbolic time chamber "Come on Gohan! I know your stronger then this! stop holding back, think about all the Villans we faced how cruel they are and show me!" Gohan almost passed out from the roundhouse kick he got from him, "The power responds to a need, not a desire" those words echoed through his mind as power rippled around the area. he didn't...he couldn't...

Dissapoint his father...Gohan gazed at the trees as a bird flew by and perched itself on a branch...in reality he truly did hate not being what his father wanted him to be, In his youth he would wonder if that was why he would spend more time with Goten instead of him. was he not good enough did he do something wrong?

Why...do you care for me?

Am I not good enough...

The pain in my chest...

It hurts...like a fire in my soul...

A/N Hope you all enjoyed this chapter, it features alot of different emotions and conflict of Gohan's character ideals and beliefs. and like I said last chapter this dude is pretty messed up when you think about it.

Until Next Time Bossbrat Out!