"What is this?" Lucius demanded angrily.
One of the four guards who caught up with him in the hallway spoke up. "The emperor took Servius out for the day. We were ordered to prote-"
"Protect me?" Lucius snapped. "Oh that's what he wanted."
Lucius stomped away to his room—the only place that he knew he would have any sort of privacy from the guards that Commodus had placed upon him.
He managed to make it to his room before he exploded. He angrily threw his arm across a shelf by his doorway, sending gold plates, candleholders, and other objects to the floor in a horrific clatter.
"Master Lucius?" A guard called from outside.
Lucius collapsed onto his knees, probably bruising them on the hard stone floor.
"I'm fine," he croaked out.
But he wasn't. He couldn't be fine. Hearing what Cassia had to say had broken him up inside. Commodus had gotten to him, just as he'd wanted too. He'd hurt Cassia knowing that it would hurt him.
He started brainstorming for ideas to kill his uncle. It wouldn't be easy. He was watched so carefully. He tried to think of ways that he could poison him, but then he began thinking of simply stabbing him. Whatever way, he wanted for his uncle to know that it was him.
But then again, he was probably expecting something.
Lucius finally told the guards outside to let him know when his uncle would be back, and he climbed into his bed.
Laying there, he lost track of time. He fell into a few periods of fitful sleep, dreaming of Cassia and then having nightmares of Commodus. He was worried about his mother, but he knew Cassia was with her. Cassia wouldn't be in danger from Commodus for a while. Lucius assumed that Commodus would be gone until Lucilla gave birth.
"Lucius,"
Lucius jumped from his bed at the sound of Cassia's voice. Half asleep and confused, he looked to the doorway. Her beautiful face peeked in through the curtain.
"Cassia?" he choked out.
He jumped from his bed and met her. She reached out and clasped both of his hands in hers.
"Lucius," she whispered.
"Come inside," he pulled her in. "What has happened?"
He ignored the fact that the guards were still standing beside the entryway to his room.
"You have a sister," she said softly.
"But where is-"
"He is still out with Servius. Word has been sent to him that his daughter has been born," Cassia answered him. "I've been with your mother since I last talked to you yesterday. She is weak, but your sister is healthy."
Lucius swallowed the lump in his throat. "A sister? Wait what time is it? How long have I been asleep? It's been a day since we talked?"
Cassia nodded.
"Lucius, you're sick with worry. What did you drink?"
Lucius looked to where Cassia pointed. A cup sat on the table beside his bed. "I…I don't remember. I must have asked a servant to bring me something…I…" He stopped to rub his eyes.
He vaguely remembered one of the servants bringing him something to help him calm down. It felt like a dream now. And now he was remembering all of the plans he had come up with for his uncle.
"I have to go wash up. I will not be in her chamber when Commodus finally returns, but I will speak with you after. Meet me?" Cassia asked softly. "And promise me that you will not do anything rash."
Lucius nodded. It still hurt him. Just looking at her hurt him. It made him want revenge, but he wouldn't tell her that.
She released his hands and walked back out of his room. A moment later Lucius exited and left in the opposite direction, headed toward his mother's chamber.
The guards followed him the entire way.
Lucius stepped in slowly and quietly. He could still feel the effects of the sleep aid that he had drank while upset. He felt almost off balance, and he was beginning to wonder if he had taken more than a sleep aid.
He paused in the doorway. His mother was lying back against her pillows, holding the newborn cradled in her arms. Her hair was not braided as neatly as it had been. He breathed in deeply. The room smelled of the smelling oils that the midwives spritzed around the room.
Lucilla glanced up quickly, as if she'd heard him exhale—maybe she had.
"Oh dear, I thought that you were Commodus," she said quickly.
Lucius shook his head. "They are still out. Word has not yet reached them."
He stayed rooted in the doorway, reaching out to hold the stone entryway beside him.
"Come see, Lucius," Lucilla said softly.
Lucius swallowed away the pain in his throat and slowly stepped in.
He carefully sat on the edge of his mother's bed, careful not to cause much movement.
"Would you like to see her?" his mother asked softly.
Lucius stood back up and eased closer.
Lucius looked down at the baby—his new half-sister. He nearly expected to feel hatred for the baby. She was part of Commodus, just like Servius was.
The baby was staring up at her mother—their mother, not squirming, not fussing, just content.
At the moment that the baby's eyes met his, a strange sensation traveled through him. It wasn't hatred. How could he hate something so small and innocent?
"It is a strange feeling to want to end the life that you hold in your arms…not because you don't love it, but because you do," Lucilla murmured softly.
As his mother's words sank in, Lucius watched the baby clasp onto his mother's finger with both of its tiny hands.
"I thought that I would hate it," Lucius whispered.
Lucilla raised her eyes to his. She nodded. "I understand if you hate her."
"I don't. I can't," Lucius answered.
He didn't see a trace of Commodus in her small, flawless face.
"She will look just like you," He whispered softly. "Her hair is light. She is beautiful."
He turned back to look nervously at the doorway, suddenly aware that Commodus could enter at any moment.
"What will Commodus think of a daughter?" Lucius asked carefully. The sound of his uncle's name coming from his lips made bile surge in the back of his throat.
Lucilla shook her head. "I do not know."
"Mother…I…"
"Promise me something Lucius," Lucilla interrupted him.
"What?" Lucius asked
Lucilla took a deep breath and looked down at the babe in her arms.
"That you will take care of your sister…When she is old enough, you will take her away from here. When she no longer needs me…or if something should happen to me. You will protect her."
Lucius held his breath. "Nothing will happen to you mother," but dread settled in his stomach.
"Lucius. Take her away whenever it does. You will know when the right time is. Take her away and do not allow her to grow up here."
Lucius stared back at his tired mother.
"Where would I?"
"Do not worry about Commodus….or Servius. As much as it pains me, Servius is too far gone. Just leave and protect your sister."
"He will hunt me down. He will find me. I would have to kill him first," Lucius whispered quickly.
"Lucius stop."
Lucius fell silent. Leaving the palace sounded like a dream—a mere fantasy.
"I promise. But Mother you need to rest," Lucius finally murmured.
He wanted to tell her about Cassia, but he stopped himself. He didn't want to burden her. Now that she had made him promise to take care of his young sister, Lucius found himself losing the courage he had built up—the courage that he had planned on using against his uncle. He could not take care of them if he was murdered by the guard for assassination of Commodus.
"Cesar and Master Servius have returned," A guard called from outside.
"You should probably go," Lucilla whispered.
"Cassia told me," Lucius croaked out without warning. He hadn't exactly meant for it to come out, but it had. "He…he forced her to stay in his chamber. She…told me."
Lucilla closed her eyes and shook her head slowly. "I know."
"She told you?" Lucius demanded.
"I confronted her about it," his mother murmured. "I had my suspicions. It sickens me…"
This is the last I will endure from him," Lucius said softly. "He did it on purpose. He did it to spite me."
"Lucius, save Cassia and your sister," Lucilla lowered her head back to her pillow. She laid the newborn on her chest.
Panic enveloped Lucius. "How?" he asked.
"Go. He's coming," she responded weakly.
Lucius left his mother's chamber and walked the halls, looking for Cassia, but trying not to make it obvious. The guards did not follow him. Evidently, the new baby and his uncle were of more importance.
Lucius didn't want to leave his mother. She was weak and did not look well, but he knew meeting Commodus there would only cause her pain. He avoided the halls that he knew that Servius and Commodus would be taking to get to his mother's chamber.
When he finally caught sight of Cassia, he felt a little better. She was walking with an older woman.
What did his mother want exactly? Did she or did she not want him to kill his uncle.
With a sudden surge of courage, Lucius slipped into the kitchen and passed a few slaves working there. When one turned, he reached out and grabbed a knife from the wooden counter.
Lucius slipped the small knife into the cloth of his robe. He felt the point of it with the tip of his finger as he walked back out.