A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you to my beta for this chapter, who is hylen on LiveJournal but whom I don't think is on here!

When she had calmed down enough to breathe without hiccupping, Callie dug her phone out of her purse and scrolled through her contacts before settling on the one that would either provide sound advice or find the elusive humor in her situation.

"Addison, help," Callie groaned before Addison had a chance to finish saying hello.

"And a warm hello to you, too," Addison quipped. "I'm doing fine; thanks for asking. This is Callie, right?"

"Ugh. Sorry. Hi, Addison. How are you? Seen any good movies lately? I'm just…I don't…help," Callie whined.

"What's going on?"

"Arizona," Callie stated. "Arizona is going on."

"Why, are you thinking of…moving there or something? Because if you're looking to relocate, Los Angeles is really -"

"Addison. Arizona Arizona."

"Oh," Addison breathed. "Arizona. You mean the hot blonde who kissed you in a bar bathroom, called you a baby, asked you out, swept you off your feet, stood up to your father, told you she loved you, lied to you about having the chicken pox, never stopped thinking you wanted to sleep with Mark, didn't want to have kids with you, did want to have kids with you, painted your apartment beige, and broke up with you in an airport so she could go off gallivanting in Africa? That Arizona?"

"She didn't…gallivant, exactly," Callie defended lamely. "But yeah, that Arizona."

"Well, now that I'm up to speed, what did she do now?"

"She came back."

"Shewhat?"

"Yeah," Callie breathed. "That was pretty much the reaction I had, too."

"Okay," Addison began. "So…what is she doing? What areyou doing?"

"Nothing. Everything. I don't know. Everything is such a mess, Addison. I don't know what to do." Despite her best efforts, Callie's voice broke and she started to cry again. If Addison hadn't noticed the cracking of Callie's voice, she definitely noticed the hitched sob that Callie was trying to hold in.

"Oh, sweetie." Her voice was softer now, having lost the joking tone it had held before. "We're going to make this better. Talk to me. Start at the beginning."

Callie nodded even though she knew her friend couldn't see her. "She said she'd go to Africa and be happy and I should stay here and be happy. Then she said I was ruining Africa for her, that we were over, and then she walked away and got on the plane." Callie sighed. "I told you that part."

"Yeah, well, doesn't stop me from getting mad on your behalf a second time."

"It was awful," Callie continued, her voice thick with tears. "I was just standing there, alone, in the middle of the airport with my suitcase. My luggage was on the plane, the woman I loved walked away from me, I didn't have an apartment, and I didn't have a job."

"God," Addison sighed. "I can't even imagine."

"I checked into a hotel, called the airline about my luggage, and arranged to start working again a week later. I basically cried and slept for three days."

"Did she call you? Tell you she landed safely?"

"No," Callie scoffed. "For all I knew she was drowning in the ocean or, you know, being stampeded by elephants."

"Are there elephants in Malawi?"

"How should I know?" Callie replied. "She didn't call." She cleared her throat. "Anyway, I more or less put myself in a coma. I missed her so much, Addison. She was all I thought about. I didn't care if I never worked again or had to live in a hotel for the rest of my life. I just wanted her back. Isn't that ridiculous? She broke my heart, fucking stomped on it. And yet all I could think about was how badly I wanted her with me. I mean, we had a life together. We were living together, in our own apartment. Everything was finally perfect. Then she gets this grant and just drops everything. Drops me. And I was going to go with her! Was it my first choice? Of course not! My first choice would have been for her to talk to me. You know, include me in her big life-altering decisions. My first choice would have been for us to stay the way we were. I was so…Addison, I was so happy. I didn't want to 'stay here and be happy,' not without her. I was happy. I was so happy."

"I know, honey."

"But she never asked me what my first choice was. She just…left. So, yeah, I was angry. I'm still angry. But mostly I just wanted her with me." Callie paused to collect herself. "Anyway, then I found out Cristina quit the program."

"What?"

"Don't worry, she came back. But yeah. I finally got out of bed to go talk some sense into her. Long story short, I cut off my hair and helped her throw a housewarming party."

Addison laughed. "I can't even picture you with short hair! You have to send me a picture!"

Callie laughed too. She knew Addison was the right person to call. "You can too picture it. Just imagine my face and hair around it. It's to my chin now."

"Still having trouble," Addison admitted. "Anyway, Cristina had a housewarming party. Then what?"

"I got drunk and moved in with Mark."

"And how'd that go over?"

"Fine. I still missed Arizona, but at least I wasn't alone anymore."

"So, better than it went for me, then."

Callie chuckled. "Well, then I went back to work. Turns out setting and breaking bones is an excellent way to release pent-up rage." They both laughed. "But then a week or so later, Derek got his Alzheimer's experiment approved, so all the attendings went to Joe's."

"Oh, God, the hospital didn't burn down, did it?"

"No, but Cristina was tending bar."

"What?"

"I told you she came back to work. Now shut up."

"Sorry, sorry," Addison said. "Just…Cristina Yang tending bar? Damn. I know you told me she was messed up since the shoot…the thing. But I didn't realize how much. You promise she's okay now?"

"Promise. But I, on the other hand…I hit a low. We all got really drunk. Bailey especially. It was pretty hilarious, actually. But anyway, Teddy told me Arizona didn't mention me in any of the letters she'd sent her, and I just…I broke again. God, I've broken so many times I've lost count."

"So what happened?" Addison hedged.

"I slept with Mark."

Addison was quiet for a moment. "Did it help?"

"No," Callie answered, starting to cry again. "I didn't even…you know. By the time we were done, I wasn't drunk anymore and I missed Arizona more than ever. And I felt like I'd cheated on her, even though she broke up with me."

"She sprung it on you that you were over and then, to try to make yourself feel better, you slept with your best friend. That's not cheating, Callie. It's self-medicating." Addison paused to let her reassurance sink in. "Didn't something like that happen on Friends?"

The joke did get Callie to laugh, which had been Addison's intention, but then she said, "I self-medicated six more times," and chuckled self-deprecatingly. "We finally realized I didn't miss Arizona any less, he didn't miss Lexie any less, and it wasn't helping anything."

"That's wise," Addison said, "but you two sleeping together makes sense. I hope you're not beating yourself up too much. If I were you, I would've done the same." Another pause. "How is Lexie, by the way?"

"Oh, she's fine," Callie replied. "She told Mark she loved him the other day, so they're probably jumping each other's bones right now."

"Nice."

"So then, after all that, Arizona just shows up at my door - Mark's door, don't even ask how she knew I was there - and gives me this speech about how she'd been crying the whole time she was in Africa because she missed me so she came back. And she told me I looked pretty."

"I'm sure you do, but I'm guessing that's not the point," Addison ventured softly.

"I may or may not have shut the door in her face."

"Ouch. But I'm on your side here, Callie. I think she totally deserved it."

"She did, but I still felt like crap."

The two had been on the phone for close to an hour now, and Addison's head was reeling. She could practically feel Callie's pain through the phone connection. From what Callie had told her about Arizona before, Addison had really thought she'd be the one. When Callie had called to say they'd broken up because she wanted kids and Arizona didn't, Addison had felt the anguish then, too. Then, a few months later, Callie had called again to tell her they were back together, and she had experienced Callie's total joy with her. The last Addison had heard, Arizona had won some prestigious grant and flitted off to Africa, leaving Callie alone. Now Arizona was back once again, and Addison couldn't help but wonder whether poor Callie would ever catch a break. She wished there was something more she could do. Fairy dust, telekinesis, that machine Jim Carrey had used in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - anything. As it was, though, all she could do was listen and try to give the best advice she could. And to be fair, that was all Callie had asked for, but she really did hate hearing her friend sound so upset and broken. When Callie loved, she loved so freely and intensely - it was beautiful. But it kept biting her in the ass, and Addison was sick of that.

For her part, this was the first time Callie had talked this whole thing out fully, and she had to admit it was making her feel a little better. Hearing Addison's reassurances was a relief, and she truly appreciated her friend's ability to make her laugh even during all of this. Mark's idea of cheering Callie up was talking about his latest sexploits with Lexie. Addison compared Callie's life toFriends. Yes, Callie definitely preferred the latter.

"This isn't your fault, Callie. She broke up with you in the worst possible way. You didn't do anything wrong -"

"It's kind of my fault, though, isn't it?" Callie asked, laughing mirthlessly. "I was a total bitch about the whole Africa thing. I mean, I was kind of ruining it for her. I guess I kind of wished she'd change her mind and decide to stay. Not to mention the whole jumping into bed with Mark thing, after she spent our whole relationship worrying that I was going to go back to him."

"You didn't do it to be vindictive, Callie. I know you. I know you wouldn't do that. You couldn't if you wanted to."

"Ever since she's been back, she's been following me around, telling me how sorry she is, groveling at my feet, begging for forgiveness. This morning she told me she'd gotten rid of the sub-letters on our old apartment and she was moving in."

"That's ballsy."

"Tell me about it. I finally snapped. I told her she was untrustworthy, among other things, and I didn't want to see her and I didn't want her in my life. Then, after the shift from hell, she cornered me in the elevator and gave me another speech about how she loved me and wanted a second chance and how she'd figured out her flaws because Mark had helped her. She said she bails when things get hard."

"Stubbornness, thy name is Arizona," Addison said dryly.

"I told her that wasn't true, because it's not. She doesn't bail. She stood up to my dad, for Christ's sake. I don't doubt that she loves me. But I told her I didn't care anymore and I wanted her to leave me alone."

"Do you?"

"No," Callie admitted. "Not really. But I don't want her to keep doing what she's been doing, either."

"Callie, do you want me to hate her for you? Because I will if you want me to. I swear to God -"

"No, Addison. I don't want you to hate her. I don't hate her."

"Do you love her?"

"Yes," Callie answered without having to think about it. "Yes. I never stopped. I love her. But I can't trust her."

"Okay," Addison said with more confidence than she felt. "Okay. So, in an ideal world, what would happen next? Keep in mind that this is a kind of messed-up ideal world where all this shit already happened."

Callie chuckled. "In an ideal world? We'd get back together and we'd never hurt each other ever again."

"What do you need from her to be sure she won't hurt you?"

"I don't know. That's the problem."

"It seems to me," Addison said, formulating an idea in her head that she hoped would come out as sound advice, "that your problem is with communication. She doesn't communicate with you. And, in all fairness, from what you've told me, you don't communicate with her to the best of your abilities either. Do you think, on some level, that the reason she was afraid of you going back to Mark was because you communicated with him more than you did with her?"

"That's a loaded question, isn't it?" Callie laughed. Only from Addison would that line of questioning not be offensive.

"You bet your ass it is," Addison replied, and Callie could just picture the self-satisfied grin on her face. "So, you want to get back together. That's good. I mean, yeah, I kind of hate her for you, but I want you to be happy again, Callie. And if being with Arizona is what's going to make you happy, that's what you should do."

"Thanks," Callie said softly.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be here all week. Anyway, you want to get back together, but you need to be able to trust each other and you need to communicate. I don't think you can have one without the other. So what should she say to you to make you trust her?"

"She needs to show me she can talk to me," Callie said after thinking for a long minute. "I just don't know what that means exactly. And she needs to figure it out on her own. Otherwise it kind of defeats the purpose."

"Right," Addison agreed.

"Oh, God," Callie groaned.

"What? What's wrong?"

"I'm going to have to tell her I slept with Mark. That's going to ruin everything."

"I don't think she really has the right to be upset about that," Addison countered. "She said you were over. You didn't cheat on her. And he's busy jumping Little Grey's bones now anyway. It's not like he's much of a threat anymore."

"We'll see," Callie mumbled. "According to Arizona, he's always a threat."

"Sounds like that's something you two need to communicateabout," Addison said with just a trace of smugness.

"Very funny," Callie bit back. "I mean, yeah, true, but still, I can practically hear your shit-eating grin." She and Addison both laughed, Callie for real this time. "What would I do without you, Addison?"

"I prefer not to think about it," Addison said. "Hey, I've got to go. I won't bore you with the details, but I've got…man plans tonight. Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah," Callie answered, suddenly exhausted again and ready to sleep for days. "Thanks for talking this out with me. It really helped."

"Hey, I love you, Cal. This is going to get better, I promise. Call me soon and tell me what's going on."

"Okay," Callie promised. "Love you, too. Have a good…man."

Addison snickered. "I always do."

Callie snapped her phone closed, tossed it onto the coffee table in front of her, and collapsed backward onto the couch. She just barely registered that she still had her clothes and shoes on, but she was too tired to do anything about it. Closing her eyes, she repeated Addison's advice in her head. She and Arizona had to improve their communication if they had any hope of being together, and that included coming clean about Mark. And even though Callie knew she wasn't technically in the wrong, she still worried that Arizona would change her mind once she knew. On the other hand, it would be a perfect way to get Arizona to talk about her insecurities around Mark, and that would certainly be communication. Callie tried to formulate a plan of what she might say, but her coherent thought quickly gave way to sheep just begging to be counted. Once she gave into their insistence, she was asleep in minutes. And for the first time since the whole airport debacle, she slept soundly, dreaming of the feel of Arizona asleep beside her.