Jack closed the door to his team-mates and friends and rested his forehead against the cool wood of his front door. His weekend was going from bad to worse and he had no idea what he was supposed to do. He had spent the evening wallowing in guilt after Daniella had fallen asleep from their quality family time together. He still regretted what he had done, how he had voluntarily ended his life when he desperately did not want to leave Daniella. Jack had chosen the world over his family and he knew that he would have to live with the consequences for the next few days before an alien library of knowledge killed him. All because he had not been selfish and picked his family. Or maybe it had been a selfish act. Jack could not deny that he still held a lot of guilt over Charlie, Sara and his first attempt at a normal family. Sometimes, late at night, when Jack would watch Sam sleeping peacefully beside him he panicked about being in a normal family with her and Daniella. He worried that he would do something to screw it up again. He feared that something would happen to Daniella. He would break out in a cold sweat panicking that his family could be ripped apart. He had barely recovered from losing Charlie and then Sara; Jack knew that losing Daniella and Sam to anything would destroy him completely and there would be no salvation. He doubted that he could do it; that he could be the family man he so desired. What if Jack had put his head into the alien repository because it took all of that pressure off himself?

Even if that were true, the news that General Hammond had brought that evening scuppered everything. Hammond had been relieved of command with a civilian being brought in to take his job. There was also the fact that the SGC had been shut down for a three month review process. Whatever Jack's reasons for allowing the knowledge download, he did not want to die in vain. If he needed to die to protect the planet, and by default his child and family, he was more than willing to, but if they could not use the Stargate then he would die without being able to protect the planet. That was not what he had agreed to, but there was nothing he could do about it now except try and convince a civilian of the importance.

"Jack?" He turned at the sound of Sam's voice and he saw her standing in the doorway to the den. "Are you okay?" He nodded, but she was clearly not convinced. "We'll convince this Doctor Weir to let us use the Stargate and we'll get you better. We'll stop Anubis."

"Wish I could believe you."

Sam walked towards him, put her arms around his neck and kissed him. Responding, he wrapped his arms around her back, pulling her closer. She broke away, smiling up at him. "Let's get you to bed, flyboy."

"Yes, ma'am."

SG – SG – SG

It was Monday morning and Nicola was back on base, much to her own dislike. Day by day it was getting more and more difficult to come to work and travel to other planets. She should have been glad when she was promoted to a full-time member of SG-1 when Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill took over shared command. Unfortunately, she had not seen it as a blessing at first. Nicola had had a slightly troublesome time with some members of the SGC because of her lack of desire to become friends with them. The only person she had really made friends with until recently was Daniel and she endeavoured to keep others at a slight distance. That had all begun to change after her kidnap and torture at the hands of Osiris. Her usual person to talk to was base psychologist Doctor MacKenzie, but he had been elsewhere and Nicola had found herself turning to Doctor Janet Fraiser instead. Despite all of SG-1 being given some downtime after the harrowing mission to rescue Major Carter, it had not been enough time as far as Nicola was concerned when she was asked to return to full time work under the command of Major Carter on alternating missions.

Nicola had always compartmentalised her life. She had kept her private life distinctly different to her work life to avoid any issues with concerns to regulations and the life and death manner of their job. This personal setting had failed when Nicola had been asked to work for Major Carter. She had spent months being the alternate with Major Carter and barely crossing paths with her. In fact, until her command, the most time Nicola had spent with Major Carter was when Osiris had tortured her to death. She could still remember on that first day as she had faced Major Carter and all she saw were glowing eyes. It had been in that moment that Nicola knew she had returned to work far too soon, but there was nothing she could do about it.

Over the months it had become easier and Doctor Fraiser had helped a lot. Along with her friendships with others stationed at Stargate Command, Nicola had started to find the family that everyone had always spoken off. Her nightmares of feeling her lungs take their last whimper of a breath faded and the sensation of feeling her heart stop lessened. Until a fateful mission to P3X-666 where Doctor Fraiser had been treating injured Airman Simon Wells when she had been fatally shot. In death, Doctor Fraiser became Janet to Nicola and she cried over the loss of such a good person.

Since that point, Nicola's recovery seemed to stagnate and she now found it difficult to concentrate at work. It really did not help that in her direct grief, Nicola had taken herself straight to Major Evan Lorne's home and later on forced their friendship onto a new level. Over the past month or so, she had continued seeking out Evan when she felt the need as he, too, had seemed happy with the change in their relationship. Deep down she knew that they could not continue as they had been – no two friends could cross the lines they had and continue forever. Not helping her ability to concentrate was the fact that on Friday night after leaving the O'Neill-Carter home, Nicola had made her way to a bar and got incredibly drunk before throwing herself at Evan. He had not taken advantage of her and she had not spoken or seen him since.

She was in the SGC briefing room with the rest of SG-1 – including both Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill – the new base commander Doctor Elizabeth Weir and Vice President Kinsey along with the recently arrived Bra'tac. Bra'tac had brought news that Anubis was on his way to Earth with his entire fleet. When the news had been passed on to Nicola she had felt her blood freeze and wished that she could just find a hole in which to curl up in. She would have sworn to anyone that her heart had stopped and all of the air within her lungs had been forced out. Everything had blurred and she felt as if she were lying on the floor of a Goa'uld ship again with Major Carter standing over her, Osiris' eyes glowing menacingly.

"Yes, Colonel, that's exactly what I'm suggesting!" Vice President Kinsey's voice was so loud and angry that Nicola jumped and flinched. She was trying her best to listen and pay attention because no matter what her issues with going off-world or the fear of being tortured, Nicola would fight to her last breath for her planet. She noticed Daniel looking at her curiously and she smiled and nodded. He seemed reassured that she was okay as he returned to the conversation. She missed his friendship.

Nicola listened as Colonel O'Neill suddenly spoke Ancient and she turned her head to him as did everyone else. She saw Major Carter put a hand out to him which was followed quickly by Vice President making a disapproving noise.

"This," Vice President Kinsey said shaking his hand at them. "This is what has been allowed to happen under General Hammond. Two officers on apparently the best team our planet has to defend us, shacked up together and constantly making decisions based on their hormones."

Nicola's eyes travelled to Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill to find the Major had removed her hands from his and had put them on her lap. Colonel O'Neill had no problem talking back at anyone without a care if they were his superior. The Major could do so sometimes, but clearly not this time. Nicola still found it incredibly difficult to talk back to anyone considered to be her superior which was why she was so quiet during this meeting. Mister Kinsey was the Vice President of their country and, like it or not, Doctor Weir was now the commander of the SGC. She may have started to allow working friendships to form with the rest of SG-1, but Nicola had not yet evolved far enough to speak out against her superiors.

"Hormones?" Colonel O'Neill demanded. "You think my hormones made me shove my head into an alien device that would rewrite my brain? You must have been a blast as a teenager, Kinsey."

"Colonel," Doctor Weir warned, but there was no stopping him now.

"No, I'm sorry, but how did my relationship with Carter affect my decision to do something that will more than likely kill me?"

"How do we know that you even did that?" Kinsey demanded. "It's funny how that scenario cropped up at the same time as Master Bra'tac arrived with some terrible warning which is also just after all Stargate operations are suspended. Using it as an escape plan, Colonel? What was the point?"

"Vice President," Daniel objected, "Jack did what he did so we could find the location of the Lost City."

"Ah, yes, this amazing Lost City which will be Earth's saviour. Where is it then, O'Neill?"

"It'll come to me, cos I had my head sucked into an alien device because of my hormones for Major Carter. If you'll excuse me."

"You're not dismissed, Colonel!" Kinsey yelled at Colonel O'Neill's back.

The Colonel spun back around. "And I'm the highest ranking military officer on this base, so bite me!"

Nicola's mouth was hanging open in shock at the colonel's actions. She had never seen him act like this at all, but then she had not been a member of the SGC when he had last had his brain rewritten. She watched as he stormed down the stairs without a glance back. Daniel almost immediately ran after him as he did not need to follow military protocols. Nicola decided that the best course of action was to remain in her seat until dismissed by either the Vice President or Doctor Weir. It was Major Carter who started up the discussion again, asking the doctor if they could use the Stargate if they learnt the location of the Lost City. Nicola had phased out again as she watched the interplay between the other two females. She had overcome a lot of her prejudice against Major Carter, seeing her mainly as a female officer and not a Goa'uld torturer intent on making her suffer. She still called Colonel O'Neill 'Colonel' or 'Sir', but she did manage to call Major Carter 'Sam' when they were outside of work.

The thought that Anubis was on his way scared Nicola a lot. Everyone knew that Osiris had had some deeper plan and that the rescue of Major Carter had been far too easy. They had never uncovered his plan, or the Zatarc or what Anubis was planning. It seemed possible now that his plan involved something to do with heading to Earth. She knew it was an irrational fear, but she did not want Anubis to torture her. Nicola was convinced that Anubis would be a much more sadistic torturer than Osiris ever was. Except for the simple fact that Osiris had tortured Nicola in an incredibly human way by stabbing her in the gut and watching her bleed out, which caused her to still question how much of it had been Sam.

Never in all of her career had Nicola wanted to run and hide from everything and everyone.

SG – SG – SG

Quickly he found himself in the empty locker room and Jack did not even pause as he slammed the door shut behind him and punched the nearest locker. His knuckles hurt from the impact, but it was not enough. He punched the locker door again leaving a dent in it this time. The pain flashing through his knuckles was still not enough so he punched again. He followed it with his left fist, then his right again. Vaguely he heard the door he had just slammed closed open again, but it did not alter his rhythm. He sharply brought his knee upwards into the locker door and then stopped, breathing heavily at his exertion.

"It must be bad if you're willing to risk your knees."

Jack turned and leaned his back against the dented locker door. "Not your locker is it, Daniel?" He probably would not apologise or regret his actions even if it were his. Despite having known Kinsey for years, Jack could not believe how low the new Vice-President could stoop. The timing of everything was awful and all Jack could think was that he had betrayed his family to try and help the planet, and he was now being prevented from doing that. He really wanted to punch Kinsey repeatedly.

"We'll figure out a way to sort this." Jack opened his eyes and looked at Daniel sceptically, to which Daniel shrugged his shoulders and smiled. None of them knew how to solve this problem because it all hinged on Doctor Elizabeth Weir, a woman none of the team knew much about. She had to be a reasonable woman, Jack hoped, and she would have to realise that Jack was as good as dead if they did not try something. The whole planet was at risk given the fact that Anubis was on his way and searching for the Lost City, too. It was Anubis versus Earth and whoever got to the Lost City first took the trophy, the championship, the galaxy. Too much was at stake for SG-1 to allow someone unknown civilian stand in their way. "I'll explain it the doctor without Kinsey around. She'll see sense."

"Kinsey," Jack growled. "If he were that locker…"

"Yeah, I don't think Sam would be too happy about you attacking the Vice-President."

"Give it a few more days and I reckon she'll be the one threatening to lynch him." Jack could not contain a smile at the image he conjured in his mind. Sam, like Jack, would do anything for their family.

"How is she taking this?"

Jack exhaled slowly as he thought. "She hasn't said much. She declared the other night that it should have been her to do it. I think she understands that I'm the one who had to do it, but she doesn't want anything to happen to me."

"That's understandable, Jack, she loves you."

He shook his head. "It's not just that." Jack looked all around him, checking that there was no one else around despite them standing near the door. "Ever since Osiris… She's been a bit off. She says that she still can't remember anything, but I'm not sure. I think she wishes she'd put her head in that thing so that it'd be me left with Daniella. I think she's scared of being left with her."

"What do you mean? She loves Daniella. She's her mother."

"I know. Maybe she can remember some of what she did and it makes her not want to be around Daniella. Maybe she's scared. I don't know. I just know that she's been… off since we found her."

"You don't think that there's something else going on, do you?"

"What? No." Jack replied quickly despite the concerns Janet had had before her death and his own concerns he had voiced only really to her. "I was willing to give her time, knowing that I'd be there, but now… Now I'm not so sure I will be." Jack paused and both men sat there in silence until Jack finally spoke. "Daniel, will you…?"

"Of course," he promised without Jack needing to finish his question. "Are you forgetting that I've been her God-father longer than you've known you were her father?" Daniel grinned at this and Jack rolled his eyes. "I'll make sure that both of them are fine, I promise."

Jack nodded his thanks to his friend and breathed slightly easier. He was glad that Daniel had not fobbed him off with 'We'll save everything' or 'It won't come to that'. Jack needed to know that his family was safe because that was all that mattered.