Home To You

(Philinda)

"Sweet Pea" By: Amos Lee

Sweet pea
Apple of my eye
Don't know when and I don't know why
You're the only reason I keep on coming home

Sweet pea
What's all this about
Don't get your way all you do is fuss and pout
You're the only reason I keep on coming home

Being a specialist and being a special agent were not one and the same as many people thought. There were some very significant differences; the most important in this case was the office hours. While a special agent spent quality time with a computer at a desk, specialists rarely saw the inside of the building.

This was something Melinda May and Phil Coulson were becoming all too aware of. They had come up through the ranks together and grown closer than any other agents in their graduating class. They realized that they were good together not only on the field but off it as well. After graduating, Phil and Melinda secretly moved in together.

At first it worked out great. He went straight into field training and she opted into specialist. He needed an address, and she couldn't have an official one. His house, she became a 'frequent guest' and the Agency never questioned it.

Move forward a year from then and things were not as easy as they had imagined it would have remained. Melinda, having completed her training, was almost never home. Phil was lonely and often missed her when she wasn't there at the end of the day. He started to worry she didn't want to be a part of them anymore. After all, she was a specialist now. She could do more than he and be with more interesting people, people who didn't collect Captain America cards. What would she want with him?

When she eventually came home from an assignment that had taken 3 months to complete he sat her down to talk. She was confused as to where it was coming from.

"Phil, please, what in the world are you saying? Are you breaking up with me?" She was on the verge of tears. She knew she had always been stronger than him, but if he was truly trying to end it with her, she had no idea what she would do.

"Never. I just figured that you might have found someone else, that maybe you were done with me." He lowered his gaze, not willing to look up at her.

She stared at him in disbelief. But he wasn't done digging himself into his pit.

He continued just as quietly, "I know that you don't exactly get a choice in assignments, much less where those assignments take you, but you like it. You like not knowing where you're going to wake up in the morning, not being sure of where you'll have to travel to next, who you'll be working with. I have very little chance of ever getting into that side of things. Eventually they are going to realize just how great you are and stick you somewhere you won't want to come back from, and I don't want you to feel like you have to come back to me. I get it. I would leave me too."

Melinda just shook her head. "You stupid man."

He looked up ate her in shock. Those were not the words he had expected.

"What in the world makes you think I could want someone else, or that they could offer me something better than coming back here after each and every mission?"

She took his hands in between hers and knelt before him on the rug. She looked deep into his eyes and made sure he could see hers clearly in the low light. Knowing him, she had to get this through to him in one go or she wouldn't break through his narrow-mindedness.

"Specialists are not supposed to have homes. They aren't supposed to have a family because then there isn't a mess for S.H.I.E.L.D. to explain when things go sour. But you know that is not my case."

She paused to make sure he was following, but in his true fashion, he wasn't. She rolled her eyes softly.

"You, Phil Coulson, are my home. I do my job so well and make it home every time because I have you to come home to. You are my reason to live for, and more importantly to come home to, because I know for sure what I would be missing out on if I were to give up in the direst in circumstances. Do you hear me?"

Now she was crying. How could he ever think so little of her, of himself!? She didn't give him a second longer to think about her words and pulled his face to hers for a searing kiss. She told herself that it was to make sure he understood that she wasn't leaving, but perhaps it was to make herself completely aware of his presence and that she wasn't alone.

She had always been the stronger one of the both of them, but tonight she didn't feel it. She felt spent and over-extended. Not only had she just come back from her most grueling quest yet, but her boyfriend, who should have been there to help her relax, had caused her more emotional turmoil than she had felt in all her years of dating.

I'm like the Rock of Gibraltar
I always seem to falter
And the words just get in the way
Oh I know I'm gonna crumble
I'm trying to stay humble
But I never think before I say

She allowed herself to remain in the kiss she had initiated until he felt ready to let her go. When he finally did, he pulled her up to sit on his lap and hugged her impossibly close to him. And that way they remained for over an hour: her legs thrown over his, his arms encircling her waist, her arm around his shoulder, his chin on her forehead while her head fitted itself perfectly into the crook of his neck.

"I'm sorry, Mel, honey. I don't know what came over me." He whispered finally.

She raised her head, eyes still puffy from crying, a sad look in them. "How could you have ever thought that I could just leave you like that?"

"I was lonely with you gone. I guess I figured… I don't know what I was thinking." He laid a tender kiss on her lips once more.

"I just love you so much. I cannot bear to think of you not coming home one day. I guess…I guess I figured it would be easier if you decided now for something, or someone, else before I got even more in over my head."

New tears sprang into her eyes. "You love me? Really, you mean that?"

That was when he realized they had never told each other that before. He had been thinking it in his mind for so long he had forgotten that it was not a forgone conclusion.

"Definitely! My God, Melinda, I have loved you since the first day I met you and you put me down on that wrestling mat. I knew I needed you in my life more than anything. There will never be anyone else for me but you."

"Oh Phil! I… I can't believe… Why haven't you said anything before?"

"I've never believed my luck when it comes to you." He looked away sheepishly. "I still don't believe it."

"I seem to keep needing to repeat myself tonight. You stupid man, I will tell you once more that you are the reason, the only reason, I will keep coming home after every mission, assignment, job or whatever pulls me away."

She put her mouth very close to his ear and drew him into her embrace. "I love you too, Phil Coulson, and I don't plan on letting go ever."

Sweet pea
Keeper of my soul
I know sometimes I'm out of control
You're the only reason I keep on coming
You're the only reason I keep on coming yeah
You're the only reason I keep on coming home