Stuck With YOU
Chapter Three By Mrs Padfoot Disclaimer: I'm not sure J.K. Rowling would WANT to own this insanity.
**
"I cannot believe this," said Lily under her breath. "I just . . . cannot believe this."
"I'm sure you can't," said James sarcastically.
"This is the worst day of my life," said Lily.
"Mine too," said James sullenly. "Sirius finally gets lucky - BEFORE me! And then you won't help me get lucky."
"I won't indulge your horny teenage male fantasies, no," said Lily.
James pouted.
Lily sighed.
"Where are we going now?" asked Lily.
"The dungeons," said James.
"Why?"
"Because everyone hates the dungeons," said James.
"Exactly my point," she said. "Why are we going there?"
"Because no one will look for us there," said James.
"What if Professor Teasdale catches us?"
"He won't," said James.
"What if he does?"
"It'll be worth it," said James.
"No it will not," said Lily. "I am not ruining my detention-free track record for a stupid game of sardines."
"It WILL be worth it," said James. "No one will EVER think of us hiding down there. Of course, there is the offhand chance Snivellus -"
"SNAPE!"
" - will be down there for FUN, and he'll catch us, but otherwise, no one will think of going down there."
"I'm beginning to wonder," said Lily, "why we're trying to keep them from catching us. I mean, if they all find us, then the game's over, and we can RESIGN and let THEM play their stupid little game."
"Lily," said James reproachfully, "you're ruining the fun of the game! Let them have their fun. It's YOUR fault WE'RE not having fun."
"MY fault? How, exactly, is it MY fault?"
"You won't let me get lucky with you," said James sadly.
"Would you PLEASE use a term besides 'get lucky??'" asked Lily furiously. "It's beyond irritating."
"How about 'have wild sex?'" asked James.
"How about we stop talking about it?" groaned Lily.
"Fine," said James, pouting.
Still, his spirits were not dampened enough to keep him from pulling a reluctant Lily all the way down to the dungeons.
"See," he said. "No one here!"
"Lovely," said Lily, as he half-pulled, half-dragged her across the potions classroom.
She narrowed her eyes at him.
"Where are we going to hide?"
"I told you," he said. "In the dungeons."
"WHERE in the dungeons?"
He didn't answer, but instead, pulled her to a door.
"Oh, no," said Lily. "No, no, no, and NO!"
"What?"
"I am NOT hiding in Professor Teasdale's office under ANY circumstances!"
"Why not?"
"He'll kill us!"
"By the time he finds us, there will be so many people here, that he won't even be able to give most of us detention!"
She narrowed her eyes.
"I thought you said that NO ONE was going to find us here," said Lily.
"Oh," said James, pausing from trying to pull her into the office. "Yeah, I guess I did."
"It doesn't matter, anyway," said Lily. "Because even if EVERYONE playing was here, all he has to ask is WHO WAS HERE FIRST? And everyone will say, well, we were looking for Lily Evans, sir, and BAM! I'm in detention!"
"Lily," sighed James.
"James," sighed Lily, imitating him.
"Come on," he said, and with a giant tug, he had pulled her in.
She glared at him.
He climbed on Professor Teasdale's desk.
"WHAT are you DOING?" she asked.
"Getting into our hiding place," he said.
"Which is what, exactly?"
"The potions stores," he said.
"WHY?"
"Because no one will look for us there," said James matter-of-factly.
"That's because it's FORBIDDEN," said Lily.
"Exactly," said James. "No one will look for us there."
"That's what you said last time," said Lily. "And guess what happened? SIRIUS AND HIS GIRLFRIEND AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND FOUND US!"
"NO ONE WILL LOOK FOR US HERE," he said.
"Yes, no one will look for US here," she said. "But with OUR luck, Professor Teasdale will look for his potion supplies and find us here."
"Anyway," he said, pulling her up into the stores cabinet with him. "She's not my girlfriend."
"She sure as well WANTS to be."
"What can I say? I'm just plain sexy," he said ruffling his hair and closing the door.
"Yeah, sure," muttered Lily. "Why don't you ask her to help you get lucky? I'm sure she's be willing."
"Jealous, Lily dear?" he grinned.
"Not on your life," she scoffed.
"I think I'm wounded," he said.
"You should be," she informed him.
"How am I ever going to live this down? Tonight, Padfoot will give me all the juicy details, and I'll just sit there mournfully, wishing I could have a story to tell."
"You'll have a story to tell," she said. "Just not a perverted and downright disgusting one."
"What if I WANT a perverted and downright disgusting one?" he muttered under his breath.
"Speaking of disgusting," muttered Lily. "Why the hell are we hiding with newt's eyes and salamander's tails?"
"Because no one will look for us here," he told her again.
"And even if they find us, they won't want to get in here with us," groaned Lily, looking around.
She swung the door open.
"What are you DOING?" he asked her.
"Leaving," she informed him.
"Why?"
"I am NOT sitting in there listening to your kinky dreams surrounded by frog brains," said Lily.
"Girls," said James, rolling his eyes.
"Are you coming, or are you going to wait for Teasdale to catch you?"
"I would never leave you, Lily dear," he said, grinning at her and hopping down.
"Come ON," she groaned.
"Anyway," he said. "It would've been hard to get lucky with you in there."
"JAMES!"
"I'm coming, I'm coming," he muttered.
"On second thought, I'm leaving you behind," she informed him.
"No you're not," he said. "I'm coming with you. And this time, YOU get to choose the hiding place!"
Chapter Three By Mrs Padfoot Disclaimer: I'm not sure J.K. Rowling would WANT to own this insanity.
**
"I cannot believe this," said Lily under her breath. "I just . . . cannot believe this."
"I'm sure you can't," said James sarcastically.
"This is the worst day of my life," said Lily.
"Mine too," said James sullenly. "Sirius finally gets lucky - BEFORE me! And then you won't help me get lucky."
"I won't indulge your horny teenage male fantasies, no," said Lily.
James pouted.
Lily sighed.
"Where are we going now?" asked Lily.
"The dungeons," said James.
"Why?"
"Because everyone hates the dungeons," said James.
"Exactly my point," she said. "Why are we going there?"
"Because no one will look for us there," said James.
"What if Professor Teasdale catches us?"
"He won't," said James.
"What if he does?"
"It'll be worth it," said James.
"No it will not," said Lily. "I am not ruining my detention-free track record for a stupid game of sardines."
"It WILL be worth it," said James. "No one will EVER think of us hiding down there. Of course, there is the offhand chance Snivellus -"
"SNAPE!"
" - will be down there for FUN, and he'll catch us, but otherwise, no one will think of going down there."
"I'm beginning to wonder," said Lily, "why we're trying to keep them from catching us. I mean, if they all find us, then the game's over, and we can RESIGN and let THEM play their stupid little game."
"Lily," said James reproachfully, "you're ruining the fun of the game! Let them have their fun. It's YOUR fault WE'RE not having fun."
"MY fault? How, exactly, is it MY fault?"
"You won't let me get lucky with you," said James sadly.
"Would you PLEASE use a term besides 'get lucky??'" asked Lily furiously. "It's beyond irritating."
"How about 'have wild sex?'" asked James.
"How about we stop talking about it?" groaned Lily.
"Fine," said James, pouting.
Still, his spirits were not dampened enough to keep him from pulling a reluctant Lily all the way down to the dungeons.
"See," he said. "No one here!"
"Lovely," said Lily, as he half-pulled, half-dragged her across the potions classroom.
She narrowed her eyes at him.
"Where are we going to hide?"
"I told you," he said. "In the dungeons."
"WHERE in the dungeons?"
He didn't answer, but instead, pulled her to a door.
"Oh, no," said Lily. "No, no, no, and NO!"
"What?"
"I am NOT hiding in Professor Teasdale's office under ANY circumstances!"
"Why not?"
"He'll kill us!"
"By the time he finds us, there will be so many people here, that he won't even be able to give most of us detention!"
She narrowed her eyes.
"I thought you said that NO ONE was going to find us here," said Lily.
"Oh," said James, pausing from trying to pull her into the office. "Yeah, I guess I did."
"It doesn't matter, anyway," said Lily. "Because even if EVERYONE playing was here, all he has to ask is WHO WAS HERE FIRST? And everyone will say, well, we were looking for Lily Evans, sir, and BAM! I'm in detention!"
"Lily," sighed James.
"James," sighed Lily, imitating him.
"Come on," he said, and with a giant tug, he had pulled her in.
She glared at him.
He climbed on Professor Teasdale's desk.
"WHAT are you DOING?" she asked.
"Getting into our hiding place," he said.
"Which is what, exactly?"
"The potions stores," he said.
"WHY?"
"Because no one will look for us there," said James matter-of-factly.
"That's because it's FORBIDDEN," said Lily.
"Exactly," said James. "No one will look for us there."
"That's what you said last time," said Lily. "And guess what happened? SIRIUS AND HIS GIRLFRIEND AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND FOUND US!"
"NO ONE WILL LOOK FOR US HERE," he said.
"Yes, no one will look for US here," she said. "But with OUR luck, Professor Teasdale will look for his potion supplies and find us here."
"Anyway," he said, pulling her up into the stores cabinet with him. "She's not my girlfriend."
"She sure as well WANTS to be."
"What can I say? I'm just plain sexy," he said ruffling his hair and closing the door.
"Yeah, sure," muttered Lily. "Why don't you ask her to help you get lucky? I'm sure she's be willing."
"Jealous, Lily dear?" he grinned.
"Not on your life," she scoffed.
"I think I'm wounded," he said.
"You should be," she informed him.
"How am I ever going to live this down? Tonight, Padfoot will give me all the juicy details, and I'll just sit there mournfully, wishing I could have a story to tell."
"You'll have a story to tell," she said. "Just not a perverted and downright disgusting one."
"What if I WANT a perverted and downright disgusting one?" he muttered under his breath.
"Speaking of disgusting," muttered Lily. "Why the hell are we hiding with newt's eyes and salamander's tails?"
"Because no one will look for us here," he told her again.
"And even if they find us, they won't want to get in here with us," groaned Lily, looking around.
She swung the door open.
"What are you DOING?" he asked her.
"Leaving," she informed him.
"Why?"
"I am NOT sitting in there listening to your kinky dreams surrounded by frog brains," said Lily.
"Girls," said James, rolling his eyes.
"Are you coming, or are you going to wait for Teasdale to catch you?"
"I would never leave you, Lily dear," he said, grinning at her and hopping down.
"Come ON," she groaned.
"Anyway," he said. "It would've been hard to get lucky with you in there."
"JAMES!"
"I'm coming, I'm coming," he muttered.
"On second thought, I'm leaving you behind," she informed him.
"No you're not," he said. "I'm coming with you. And this time, YOU get to choose the hiding place!"