A/N: This is merely my interpretation of what must have happened before the characters wedding day. The characters still belong to Stephanie, I'm just borrowing them.

Also some words may be spelled phonetically to emphasize the southern accent I was going for in Jasper's speech. Any other misspellings may be just a mistake.

Stomach aches and Southern Pride

Jasper POV

"So therefore," I continued eyeballing Emmett to make him curtail his behavior, "it is only fair she said to him that Carlisle have a talk with me before our wedding as he had done with Emmett and would be sure to do with Edward. So as you can see, the little darling set me up," I laughed. "And you know Carlisle will not deny his baby girl anything. So he decided to make it interesting or challenging so that I could prove myself to them both."

"Whew-hoo!" blurted Emmett. "This is gonna be better than I thought! I think we better all get comfortable for this. Sounds like it is gonna be fun!"

We sat down in the living room as I began my story of what was said to me before I married Alice once we decided to live with the Cullen's permanently.

~*~

"Jasper, son, we're so happy to welcome you into our family. I'm sure Alice has told you how much we appreciate the two of you joining us. I hope you know you're like a son to Esme and me, and of course Alice is our baby girl and everyone is happy with it that way."

"Yes, suh, I'm especially grateful to ya and mom for takin' us in an' treatin' us so kindly, suh," I admitted. "I'm happy to be here 'cause Alice is literally living her dream or her vision."

"And speaking of dreams, our little Alice has planned a wonderful affair in this wedding production she has designed, how do you feel about all this?" Carlisle asked.

"Suh, I'm of a mind ta give my Alice whatever her little heart desires. I'd do anything for her. I hope you know that," I stressed.

All of a sudden I could feel a wave of challenge coming from Carlisle. Did he think I was not being straightforward? What was he bracing himself for?

"Jasper, I have to ask you something and I hope you understand that even though I did not personally sire Alice myself, I still feel as if she has always been mine. Therefore it is on the note of a concerned father that I must ask you this."

"Certainly, suh, anything you need, please let me know and I'd be more than happy to oblige."

Carlisle seemed to be searching for the right words to voice his concern. I waited for him to speak again.

"No, I don't need a favor; I need you to tell me something. It may be of a personal nature but I assure you that I mean no insult or accusation," he continued choosing his words carefully.

I could feel the trepidation in his emotions but I could not tell what was causing him to be so cautious as he spoke.

"What would you like to know, suh?" I asked him curiously.

"Jasper, I hope you were a proper gentleman before you were intimate with my daughter," he spoke bluntly at this point seemingly tired of walking on eggshells.

"Huh… I mean, pardon me sir, are you asking…" I stammered.

"I'm asking you if you treated my daughter with the proper respect by marrying her before you decided to have sexual relations with her?" he asked. "It's a simple question."

"Suh, I assure you, I've conducted myself in a manner befitting a southern gentleman with full courtesy and honor. She has always said we would be living here with this family, so I knew there was a father figure I would eventually have to deal with, and even so, I respect Alice and treasure her with all my heart so I DID NOT DEFLOWER HER WITHOUT FOLLOWING THE PROPER CHANNELS FIRST."

"Alright, son, calm down. Try to get a grip on those emotions," Carlisle explained. "You know when you get upset everyone around you starts to feel the same way and right now I would like to avoid any confrontations concerning the sexual history between the two of you."

"Carlisle, uh, dad, why are we discussing this now? Don't you think things may be a little out of order since Ali and I are already married? We've probably done most anything you may want to talk about," I said as this conversation got more and more uncomfortable.

Carlisle began speaking slowly and deliberately, "When Esme and I were first married, we had to overcome some obstacles in our own intimate activities due to the fact…"

At that point I stopped listening to what he was saying. My eyes glazed over and I became physically ill. He was about to tell me about his intimate moments with Esme and I was actually starting to feel the angst and fears they apparently were feeling on their own wedding night.

"Jasper," Carlisle exclaimed, "are you sick?"

"No, suh, why do you ask?" I asked wincing as he went through another bout of anxiety remembering his first time woes.

"Because whatever the feelings you're emanating right now are reflecting back on me and I feel sick. So I repeat, are you sick, son?"

Carlisle, my adopted father and present coven leader, was trying to talk to me about my sexual relations with my wife, his daughter; and he wanted to know if I was sick. Hell yes! But I could not say that to him and admit to the embarrassment I was feeling.

"No, suh, I would just rather not hear the details of any intimate relations you have with the woman I deem my mother, if you don't mind, suh."

"Oh, for goodness sake, I'm just trying to help you understand…"

"Suh, I can assure you that Alice and I get along without a hitch," I said needing this line of conversation to be over before I became physically ill.

"Of that I'm sure about," Carlisle answered, "but I'm talking about your compatibility in a more intimate nature; your sexual compatibility."

"SIR! I…what?"

"Sit, Jasper!"

"Yessir."

Once he saw the sickly expression on my face and felt the upwardly mobile hurling of my last feeding, he paused. I assume he realized this was a futile endeavor and decided to take a different tactic.

"Okay, I know that you and Alice have already had an intimate relationship with each other in the past. But, I'm asking you as her father to respect my wishes and not participate in any further activities until your wedding day," he explained.

The no longer beating heart I carried in my chest once, did a flip and then lodged itself in my throat.

Then Carlisle continued, "So when you go on your honeymoon with your lovely bride, my lovely daughter, it will be as if you two are getting together for the first time all over again. It will give you something to look forward to; something to anticipate. Do you understand what I'm saying to you, son?"

"Yes, suh," I answered cautiously, yet unbelievably. "If I understand correctly, you don't want me to be with Alice until after the wedding."

"Yes, Jasper, that is exactly what I'm asking. It's a show of respect and a practice in restraint. Do you think you can handle that?"

"Ah, suh, do you realize you're talking about a week?" I asked growing more and more chagrinned, "An entire, whole week; seven days from now is a very long time to..."

"Yes, Jasper, is that a problem?" my father asked me, as he looked at me dead-on in my rapidly changing eyes. I could feel the challenge in the air. Alice would kill me if I got into it with our dad right before our wedding.

"Ahhh, no, sir, it's not a problem," I answered, hanging my head, "No, sir."

"Now I have to tell you, because you two have such an active relationship so far, that when you get together on your honeymoon after abstaining for an entire week, it is going to be such a very powerful arousal that you need to prepare…"

"Ah, whoa…dad," I interrupted horrified at what he was about to say. "Wait just a minute there and hold on, sir… I can handle…I mean, I…I… I understand…" I stammered insistently.

I mean I really didn't know what he was going to say, I was no Edward, but I was pretty darn tootin' it was gonna be about me and my wife having sex and I was not prepared to get advice from my dad at this point.

"What I am saying is that the arousal is going to be so powerful and my Alice is so small in frame," Carlisle continued, "I don't want to see anyone get hurt, especially my daughter, if you know what I mean."

I actually wretched that time. I mean my stomach actually heaved and my emotional state manifested itself all around me to the point Carlisle felt it again. I started seeing these horrible pictures of my Alice broken and limp because of the ideas my dad was putting into my head. I mean we are all sexually active and we pretty much know our limitations with each other but I begin to see possibilities for disaster based on what my father was saying to me.

"Jasper, are you sick again?" he asked rising from his seat concerned. Basically vampires don't usually throw up.

"No, dad, but may I be allowed to step away for a moment? I'm feeling rather stressed, sir," I responded to his concern.

"Okay, son, take a breather," he suggested, "we'll continue this later."

~*~

I returned to Carlisle's study after washing my face and calming down from my overactive imagination. I wanted to apologize to him for running out so impolitely. I figured I could endure his worse on a good day. After all I had survived living under the vindictive hand of Maria and was still here to talk about it. So I was prepared for anything when I walked into the study…well, almost anything.

"Mom!?! What are you doing here?" I exclaimed, now doubly embarrassed if she was going to be here also.

"Alice sent me," she said as she gave me a reassuring hug; and a glare at Carlisle. "She was afraid your father would turn you into some kind of robot lover because of this talk and she begged me to rescue her passionate Southern gentleman before your dad ruins you. Carlisle, surely you're not badgering the poor boy. Look at him, he looks like he's ready to bolt and I can feel emotions spiking from everything from insult to pure embarrassment. What have you been saying to our child? Baby, are you okay? Has your father been treating you unfairly?"

She smiled at me reassuringly as only a mother can in a situation such as this one.

"Esme, darling, we are merely discussing some parameters I would like to set to assure a serious commitment between our children before their upcoming nuptials. Isn't that right, son?" he turned the tables on me.

What was I going to say to her? Mom, dad won't let me 'do it' with Alice before we get married again. While I think of her as my mom, it is not a subject I intend to broach with her under any circumstances.

"Ah, dad," whoa did I just say that out loud? I guess so since I could feel Carlisle's pride and happiness that in my moment of stress, I would recognize him as a father figure. "Maybe we should talk later when we are not in mixed company," I suggested sheepishly.

"Why, Jasper? Carlisle and I have nothing to hide, dear. We're more than willing to share our experiences with you and Alice so that you may also have a very fulfilling relationship."

"WE DO HAVE A…" I had to catch myself. "I'm sorry. Mom, dad, I am very sure my wife and I have a very satisfying…"

I was cut off this time by my mom. Obviously she had just felt my queasiness for this conversation. It's not that I was embarrassed that Alice and I had a sexual relationship; mind you a very good sexual relationship. We NEVER missed a day fulfilling each other's needs. It's just that the idea of sharing this with our parents was indeed a source of queasiness for me. I'm a private person normally. This was way over the top.

"Oh…Jasper, baby, are you sick?" asked my mom.

She was looking at Carlisle all concerned and what not. Honestly, if Esme had her way Carlisle would be doctoring on us like he does his human patients.

"Nah, mom, I just really need to hunt now, please," I begged unabashedly.

I wanted out of there now and this was something they would never deny me.

"By all means, honey, go! Carlisle, we can finish this later, right?" my mom assured my dad who readily agreed.

I was out of there. When Esme looked up all she saw was a smattering of blond curls flying through the window. I headed straight into the forest and did not come back for hours.

A/N: So, what do you think? Read and Review please. Those of you who like the story enough to favor it, please take a moment and review also. It really makes me feel inspired to write. The more reviews I receive, the more I want to write.