Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I had done, I'd have forced Kishi to become my slave, make SasuSaku canon and TELL US WHETHER OR NOT SASUKE FRICKIN' WON.

Chapter 3: Illusion

"I promise –

- I won't leave you –

- when you need me, I'm there –

- so even if the winter takes away the cherry blossom –

- it always comes back in the spring, Sa --!"

She jerked awake.

It had become a routine by now. Dreaming those strange dreams, then waking up, forgetting about everything that happened in the dream. But…

She closed her eyes.

… I can still feel it, somehow… the warmth…

… the familiar warmth the dream radiated…

"Oi, dobe."

The familiar insult stopped Naruto in his tracks. The blonde turned his sapphire eyes towards the isolated room, with only the little window open to let the prisoner gaze out. Not that there's much to see, he thought darkly.

"… Sasuke." It was a statement, as to show that he listened.

"You saw her, right?"

"Who do you mean?" It was an unnecessary question. Both knew who Sasuke was speaking of.

"Her."

"I still don't get it."

"The new psychiatrist. Atsuino Izumi…"

"Aa."

"Is it her?"

"…"

"Don't pretend as you don't know, dobe," he hissed with a malicious smirk on his lips.

"It's not," Naruto's voice replied.

"You're lying."

Naruto's eyes met Sasuke's. They were uncharacteristically cold.

"Believe what you want," he remarked, before walking off.

"Good morning, Uchiha-san!"

He let his closed eyelids lazily open at the entrance of the pink-haired woman. She looked so enthusiastic.

Somehow, that thought made him discomforted.

Wait, Uchiha Sasuke, discomforted?

Che.

"What was it yesterday?" he interrupted her babbling about what a lovely day it was. She gave him a wondering stare in return. "The phone call."

Her happy façade faded away.

"Oh. That," she muttered. "It was nothing, actually."

Just my stupid, not-caring-but-let's-pretend-she-is mother.

It's not like she cared anyway. In reality, she only wanted to sound like a good mother.

Flashback.

"H-hello?" Sakura's voice was still unstable after the sudden headache; and what came next just made the pain worse.

"Sakura, er, darling? How're you?"

Sakura stiffened. "Oh… hi, mom. I'm fine. Why?"

"No, well, I just kind of figured… I haven't called you for a while, have I?" She laughed nervously. "Not since… well, you know."

Not since the accident.

"Yeah." Sakura's voice was cold and dry as she responded. "So why are you calling now, all of a sudden?"

"Well, I was informed by Tsu… wait, what's her name again? The one who helped you. The psychiatrist…"

"Tsunade-sama," Sakura supplied.

"Yeah, that you've got a new job at… the psych ward. Congratulations." But her voice didn't sound like a sincerely happy one.

"Thanks."

"Does it pay much?"

"Well, yeah."

"I was wondering… well, you know, Sakura, marriage has never properly worked for me."

"Mm." Of course I do. You've been remarried five times since dad, and you've not invited me or even informed me even once.

"I've finally found the love of my life." Pause. "Problem is, we can't really afford a wedding… so, Sakura, I was wondering if you could le –"

Beep.

Sakura had already ended the phone call.

End Flashback.

"Well… anyway…" She faked a smile. "It's so sunny outside, Uchiha-san. It's wonderful! Maybe I should ask Uzumaki-san if I could just take you out sometime and see the sunlight –"

"Don't bother," Sasuke cut across. "Light is nothing but an illusion to keep us believing that darkness doesn't exist. Light is for fools. It's nothing but an imaginative shield 'protecting' oneself from the darkness that surrounds us."

"So you're trying to say light doesn't exist?"

Sasuke smirked. "Exactly."

"But it does!" Sakura protested. "Just because you haven't seen it for years, doesn't mean it doesn't exist anymore. Light exists, but so does darkness. But it doesn't mean darkness is everything! I mean, light… you can't deny its existence! Have you ever seen the light, metaphorically?"

"What do you mean?" He narrowed his eyes. The smirk was long gone.

"I mean… feel the light. The warmth… like sitting beside someone who's important to you under the shade of cherry blossom trees… and just watch the sakura petals dancing in the wind, while you just watch the sunlight –"

Sasuke froze.

Sitting beside someone who's important to you –

"Talk to me –"

- under the shade of cherry blossom trees –

" – I'm sorry for what I did –"

- and just watch the sakura petals dancing in the wind –

" – I was scared… don't leave me alone –"

- while you just watch the sunlight…

" – I promise you I'll always be with you, Sa --!"

An important person.

Sakura petals.

Sunlight.

Light itself.

"That's because I love you –"

NO, STOP! DON'T! Don't…. love me…

" – more than anything in the world –"

I don't…

" – so don't leave me alone!"

… deserve you…

"If you're the darkness, then I'll be your light!"

Something cracked within Sasuke.

"- it's just so warm, it's so beautiful –"

"Shut up," came the quiet hiss, like the one of a menacing snake.

She stared at him. "But, Uchiha-san –"

"SHUT UP!" he snarled aggressively as he glared at her, his eyes full of hatred. "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP –"

She found herself drowning… diving into the very bottoms of his eyes… no, they were bottomless…

… so dark…

… endless darkness…

But something broke through that darkness.

Light?

No… it was red. Crimson.

Crimson like the blood…

Images flashed before her eyes.

Blood everywhere…

… the dead bodies…

… a scream…

… she began crying…

… he was crying too…

… she hugged him…

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Sa –"

His pain became hers.

The pain was mutual.

Then, everything went black.

"Yes?"

Tsunade yawned. It had been a rough night. First, she had dealt with the worst patients ever (little stubborn bitches, Tsunade thought irritably as the memories resurfaced), then, she had gone to the bar and drunk herself crazy, after that, she had visited Jiraiya and played poker until 5 a.m., at which time she stumbled back to her own apartment and punched the senses out of any living (now half-dead) man who dared to approach her on her way home.

"Tsunade-sama…" The blonde florist and the black-haired PE teacher. Sakura's friends. What are they doing here? The worried look in Ino's eyes made her raise an eyebrow.

"Step inside," she urged them and stepped aside as they passed the threshold and seated themselves on the chairs placed in front of her desk.

"Is there anything urgent you want to tell me?" she wondered, even though that was already fairly obvious. It was already 1 p.m., and she knew their lunch break was coming to an abrupt end in any minute.

Shikamaru and Ino exchanged glances.

"Well, yeah," Shikamaru sighed exasperatedly. "Tsunade-sama, do you know of… Sakura's past?"

Tsunade frowned. "No. She has amnesia, and I met her when I consoled her about it."

"Yes, we know that," said Ino. "But you know… about her new job…"

"What about it?" Tsunade demanded to know.

"Well, was the moving necessary?" Ino pressed on.

"Why do you wonder?"

Shikamaru and Ino told her. Tsunade sighed. "I'm glad you're worried about her, but she has to face her past sooner or later."

"But this is not a good way!" Ino exclaimed. "She's… well, she's already damaged. And then that…"

"It's alright." Tsunade smiled kindly, yet firmly. "I believe in her. She'll make it."

"Hey… are you okay?"

Sakura blinked. Sitting up, she could feel her head ache badly, but she still answered: "Yeah…"

Where am I? She looked around. This was definitely not Sasuke's room. But it wasn't hers, either.

It was white… and clean… it looked like –

A nurse's office?

At the curious look appearing on her face, the nurse beside her smiled: "Yes, you're in a nurse's office. You fainted in Uchiha Sasuke's cell."

"… I did?" I just remember… darkness… and blood… and then there were those eyes…

"Yes. You don't seem to have a fever, though." The nurse cocked an eyebrow. "Isn't he hard to deal with?"

… they were red… and so hateful… "Eh?"

"Uchiha Sasuke. He sure is handsome though, don't you think?"

Handsome? Sakura hadn't really thought of that. But come to think of it, his features weren't the kind you criticized. He was, when she thought of it, pretty hot. She felt herself blushing slightly. What am I thinking? Sakura, you're his psychiatrist. He's a psychopath. This is no time to start being fangirly.

"I take that as a yes?" The nurse giggled. "If he hadn't been so scary… when he first came here, all the nurses swooned over him. But then…" Her eyes darkened. "… well, I don't think you want to know. Or have they told you?"

"Told me what?" Sakura wondered.

"About the psychiatrists he has turned to psychos."

"The psychiatrists went insane, after the seventh week, they were brought here and joined him 'in the darkness'."

Sakura shivered unpleasantly as she took off her shoes in the dimly lit hall of her tiny apartment.

Does he do it on purpose…?

"Being a psycho doesn't equal dumb."

But… somehow… he doesn't feel like a bad person.

Sakura shrugged. She remembered Sai saying that she was too naïve for her own good… but this time, she was almost 100 percent sure.

Uchiha Sasuke isn't a bad person.

She walked into her kitchen and put on the lights, and automatically started searching the fridge for food as she thoughtfully argued with her brain whether or not this was imagination or intuition.

And just as suddenly, the apartment turned black. Even the fridge's light disappeared.

Darkness…

The fear that awakened inside her was unlike herself. Sakura was never afraid of darkness. Because I know that there's light.

She rushed to her window, and to her surprise, all the other apartments' lights were on. But her own was dark. Strange. I've paid the bills…

Then, a hissing voice broke the silence as somebody – or something – breathed in her neck. "Do you remember me..."

Uchiha-san? Sakura frowned. Impossible. He's at the psych ward…

"… Sakura?"

The last thing she remembered was a pair of crimson eyes staring at her with bloodthirstily.

Whee I'm so glad that you guys liked the first and second chapter! At first I thought this was a really weird idea. But my sister, who normally thinks that my fanfics aren't of the highest quality, encouraged me to continue, so I decided it was worth it. So far, I've finished ch. 6 and begun on ch. 7, while my plot planning has reached... hmm... well, I don't quite remember which chapter, but it should be chapter 15, I think. And then there're some long-term plans.

By the way, for This Is Not My First Time readers, don't miss the upcoming update! After that, there's one final chapter and then it's time for the sequel!

Reviews Corner (Already 30? Thanks!! Keep on reviewing, pretty please!)

angel2559: Thanks:) Did you like the update?

Scarlet123: I'm glad that you like it :D

Shadowsakura231: Thank you :D

7sweetnsour7: Thanks ;D

icygirl2: Heh heh.. I like teasing you guys about the past :D As a matter of fact, writing about their past is really fun. I love developing characters, starting from the childhood, but just to leave you guys wondering what really happened, I tease you instead ;) -laughs evilly- Thanks for the review!

KAWAii MYV: Really?? Thanks:D

honoring death: Hahaha:D I've watched it twice. It was, naturally, the first thing that came to my mind when - hey, wait a minute, I'm not supposed to give you spoilers now, am I? XDDD

warming Sunshine: Thank you :) Well, I've become very interested in psychology lately (blame my friend, she's always rambling on about how she wants to become a psychiatrist, because that has been her ambition ever since she was a child), and then it just popped into my mind one day, because... I should stop ranting now before I give any spoilers, shouldn't I?

waterkunoichi: I know, it's so sad. To be honest, I was quite a NaruSaku fan in the beginning of the series, but one thing I find annoying with some NaruSakuers (I'm not speaking for the whole NaruSaku fandom, though) is that they always have to bash Hinata in order to prove that NaruSaku can or will be canon. Anyway, back to the topic - I'll try to insert as much ShikaIno as possible :) And thanks:D

Claud-kun: Thank you :D

pinky101: Thanks :D

Niamph: Thanks:D Hahahah, it's very tempting to make them OOC though, especially Sasuke. Funny how I made a fic about OOCness (The Curse of OOCness) and then I can't even think of things that make them OOC... gah, I always rant too much! XD

Crazy Gal42: Wow, am I really that great? Thanks:D

inner soul: Mwahahah... because I'm evil, luv, I'm evil :) And he did see her face, though. It may be confusing, but it'll be explained in... err... ten chapters or something, I can't quite remember. XD Thanks anyway:D

cherry blossom petals: Thanks :D

Wow, I had thought there'd only be a couple of reviews, and you guys surprised me! Please keep on reviewing... remember, the more reviews, the more I'm encouraged to write ;)